*/ do you think of me high ?

[ctrlmcsons]

tw: alcoholism, drug mention, depression, addiction

mason is an only child to two very successful parents who are high up in the business world (specifics are ugly but idk they are like owners of vv big companies)

and his parents were working a lot when he grew up so he was sorta brought up by nannies lol

his parent’s got divorced when he was around 13/14 and after that shit kinda hit the fan

they tried to buy his love and tried to outdo each other like his mum would buy him the newest iphone so his dad would then buy him a brand new macbook that kinda shit??? mason haTED it and as soon as he turned 18 he kinda just?? moved out on his own and now he hardly has anything to do with them besides the huge checks they send him every month (still trying to outdo each other to this day rip)

during his teen years he tried to get away from the family drama and kinda became a party goer, was at a party almost every weekend, got really wasted from ages 15+ and idk easily became this bad boy like he’d get into fights to get his pent up aggression about his parents out and yeah was kinda douchey

that was when he kinda found out about his addictive personality, he has to drink every night just to go to sleep… its kinda sad tbh

so boy is kinda rich rich af but doesn’t show it off at all, he kinda??? hates money lmao so he only really buys basics and will only splurge on things he really wants or girls he likes lol

he used to be in a pretty successful band until they broke up (ex-bandmates could be a wanted connection???) and so now he’s gone solo, his vc is bazzi hehe and he’s set to release a proper album this year, since then it’s been a couple ep’s/random songs thrown out there from time to time

yeah he’s the cliche angry mysterious boy, doesn’t say much about his past unless he really trusts you (which is unlikely he trusts maybe 2 people in his life)

uh yeah that’s it ig???????? give me everything pls but especially a messy ex girlfriend, his best mate/the only person he trusts and some classic party mates/people he gets high with

[ctrlmcsons]

sofiaisms​:

    unfortunately her mind was already made up and nothing mason said in the moment could change it . maybe later she’d be less pressed over the situation . but for now she’d settle for quietly seething and ignoring all his attempts at taking back the emotional slap in the face he delivered on valentine’s day of all days . she let him grab her hands though , looking up at him for only a split second before avoiding eye contact . it was likely obvious to him that she wasn’t as fine with things as she’d like to pretend . but she wouldn’t admit that outright . she shrugged once more before saying , “can’t change it now so it’s whatever .” sofia nodded her head at his request and was about to pull away when she heard him whisper . she paused for a moment . because truthfully , she had her doubts that he meant it– her own insecurities consuming her . however , it didn’t stop her from reciprocating . “i love you too ,” she assured him quietly with a gentle squeeze of his hand .      after slipping away from him , she made her way through the crowd to the bar . on her way there she passed one of the dreaded tables full of cups . sofia looked down in shame at her pink one before deciding to swap it out in favor of a green one . and it was with that cup in hand that she eventually returned back to mason . “one coke for you , bub , and the strongest thing they had for me ,” she chuckled dryly before taking a long sip from her brand new drink . the petty side of her was hoping for some sort of reaction , though she acted nonchalant . “you know the last time i was at this club was at new years . it’s kinda weird how much has changed since then …”

     mason just had to admit to himself that he was in the dog house and he will just have to accept the consequences of sofia’s feelings being hurt. it was valentine’s after all, it was the last day sofia was expected to get into a fight with mason, her feelings were totally valid and there wasn’t much he could do to fix that right now. “okay,” he replied in slight defeat, a small sigh leaving his lips as he nodded quickly, taking a deep breath as he tried not to break down, he was feeling quite fragile, especially due to his sobriety, he just had to remind himself that everything will be okay even if that was not a guarantee. mason felt a smile forming on his features as he heard her say it back, he really needed to hear that right now because even if everything was so uncertain, her love for him was still there and right now, that was all that he needed.       he didn’t have to wait too long before he noticed sofia return to him, two drinks in hand as he took his from her, taking the drink from her as he continued to stare at her drink, the colour of her cup now green which caused a lump in his throat. she loves you, he kept repeating in his head, the only thing keeping him from reacting negatively. “what’s in yours?” he asked, genuinely curious of what she decided to drink, even if it sounded like he was asking in hopes he’d be able to try some... that was not what he wanted at all. when he was reminded of new years eve, a huge groan left his lips, that night was one of the lowest moments of his life, it was the first time he had properly seen sofia since they had broken up and she had a point, so much had changed since then. “fuck me... that night was a fucking nightmare,” he shook his head, a loud sigh escaping his lips. “but i mean... it did kind of lead to us fixing things so, i can’t be too mad at it,” he smiled warmly, pulling her in to wrap his arm around her, his lips pressing against the top of sofia’s head for a gentle kiss, hoping she wouldn’t push him away again.

[ctrlmcsons]

sofiaisms​:

    she crossed her arms over her chest , effectively closing herself off from him . a drastic change from the sweetness she was showering him in only moments prior . “be like what ? i’m just going along with your take on us ,” she nodded at the disregarded cup on the ground . even if he had thrown it away , the offense had already been taken . her eyes flickered around the rooftop . sofia wasn’t a fan of fighting so publicly . but thankfully others seemed too wrapped up in themselves to take note of the lover’s quarrel . “i don’t want you to be sorry for how you really feel . if that’s how you see us , then that’s how you see us . it’s whatever , mase ,” she attempted to hide her dejected tone , shrugging her shoulders like it was no big deal . she didn’t want mason to take this as something else to blame himself for no matter how upset she was . with a strong desire to hide her true feelings , sofia swiftly changed the subject . “i think i need to get a new drink or something … do you want anything ? another soda , maybe ?”

     mason was no stranger to fighting in public. sure, the fights were usually of the violent kind, not a fight between him and the girl he loved but that didn’t stop him from not caring of what other people thought of him, he couldn’t give a single fuck if they were watching. “that’s not how i think sof, i-” he wasn’t sure how to finish his sentence because either way, sofia had her take on what she saw and she had a right to feel hurt, he fucked up in an idiotic way and now he had to deal with the consequences. “it’s not whatever,” he frowned, moving closer to her and attempting to grab her hands in a gentle, affectionate way but did it slowly in case sofia didn’t want him to touch her, which was ultimately fair, he’d understand if she didn’t want anything to do with him right now. but then sofia changed the subject completely which made him sigh, nodding his head slowly, “yeah sure whatever, get me a coke,” in all honesty he was craving a beer but he wasn’t going to say that out loud. the alcohol would ease his anxiety sure but the action of drinking would easily cause a lot more problems so he went against it. “i love you,” he whispered, hoping to god she’d still say it back.

[ctrlmcsons]

      “i swear to god dude, you better have a good explanation to falling off the face of the earth...” mason stepped right into his best mates apartment, not bothering to figure out where sebastian could be, the door was unlocked so he was around somewhere.       the two males had so much to catch up on and more importantly, mason needed to figure out just how the whole marriage with gianna thing happened because he was still absolutely clueless as to why he wasn’t involved or in the know about it. it was a huge fucking secret to keep quiet. “and also... do you have any pics from the wedding or were you that plastered that they were all blurry?” he teased, chucking his feet up on the coffee table, making himself at home like he normally did, waiting for sebastian to make his way to the living room. / @sebasfms​

[ctrlmcsons]

     “bro!” mason called out to silas, noticing him further in line at one of his favourite cafes. he wasn’t entirely sure if silas had forgiven him yet after apparently still being pressed about the fact that him and gia had slept together, even though it felt like it was forever ago. he knew how much he cared for gia despite silas trying to convince everyone otherwise, his reaction to gia and sebastian being married further proved that, even if silas was deflecting like he always did.      “are you still pissed at me or can we drink our coffee together?” he asked, ordering himself his usual double shot americano and a bagel with cream cheese, waiting for his order off to the side with silas right by him. “did you enjoy the valentine’s day thing?” he questioned, for him it was kind of a bust, the fight he had with sofia really put a damper on things but he was trying to be optimistic and hopefully, silas had an alright night too. / @kingstonfm​

[ctrlmcsons]

mason frowned. he didn’t want to do this, especially on a day that was meant to be filled with love and adoration. he rolled his eyes at sofia, shaking his head, “don’t be like that sof,” he continued to frown, throwing his hands up, unsure on what to say next. “I can’t help it... fuck,” he bit the inside of his cheek, afraid that he was going to say something he was going to regret. He had to remind himself not to blow it, that Sofia was the one good thing in his life that was worth keeping rather than pushing away like he did with anything else that brought him happiness. “i’m sorry, okay?” / @sofiaisms​

[ctrlmcsons]

♡ 𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙰𝙶𝙴 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚃 𝙰𝙳𝙼𝙸𝚁𝙴𝚁 : Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you

“aw shit, this is cute as hell... thanks cutie.”

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: hopefully one day u'll make things better on ur own terms

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: i'm still rooting for u, u know that right?

mason: i love you

mason: i will always love you, you know that?

mason: please don't leave me

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: i wish there was something i could do to make everything better for u 🥺

mason: i don't think anyone has the ability to do that

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: hey, it's okay u're allowed to take things at ur own pace

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: it's just important to know that u have options besides putting urself through this hell cycle

mason: yeah

mason: it just hurts

mason: [unsent] and i just miss you so fucking much

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: u've got to accept the fact that someone else might know what's best for u and is able to help u

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: u're not too far gone trust me. u're gonna be okay babe

mason: idk

mason: this is all too much

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: 🥺💔

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: it's never too late to turn things around

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: i'm sorry, what about ur dependency makes u think that u're in control?? if anything u taking charge of ur life by getting better would mean u have more control than constantly losing urself to alcohol

mason: idk sof

mason: putting my life into other people's hands scares the fuck out of me, i'm stubborn as shit and i just don't think it would go well for me to see someone just for them to tell me everything i already know

mason: what if im too far gone??

[simonefms]

closed starer for @ctrlmcsons

      simone had been thinking about the messages mason had sent her earlier . she was sure he was on the right path , and obviously she was happy for him , but for whatever reason it seemed like he fell back to his old habits  . she tried to stay calm until she was done with work , but all the worrying was eating her inside , which made her leave her photoshoot earlier , something very unprofessional in her mind , but she was willing to take the risk , as long as she could check up on mason . she quickly made her way towards his place , knocking on the door and waiting for his response . not too much time passes and mason opens  . “ i’m sorry, i came as fast as i could ! ” she lets out .

[ctrlmcsons]

     mason hadn’t really been out of the house since the night with xander. he didn’t really feel up to seeing anyone, do anything really, he was in a pretty dark place that he wasn’t sure how to get out of it. hearing the knock at the door, he wasn’t entirely sure it could be, there was a few people that came to mind but each and every one made his anxiety awaken. stepping up from the couch that he hadn’t left in hours, he pushed himself to get to the door, opening it to see simone, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as he let her inside. “i’m sorry my place is a mess, i kinda... smashed a few glasses and haven’t had a chance to clean it up so don’t take your shoes off,” he gestured to the shattered glass that was scattered near the kitchen as well as a few lamps now sitting messily on the floor, last night wasn’t a good night and the state of his place was a clear reminder. “what’s up?”

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: nothing i say is gonna convince u otherwise, huh?

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: no, U shouldn't think so little of urself

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: scared of what, mase?

mason: nope

mason: i can't help it, been doing it all my life

mason: not being in control

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: i was only worried because i care about u sm and not hearing from u reminded me of not so great past experiences

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: u ARE a good person, u've got to realize that mase

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: there's no one that could be better for me, and even if there was i would still only want u. but u have got to work ur shit out

mason: right

mason: im not but ok

mason: u shouldn't think like that

mason: im just scared sof

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: take that back right now.

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: never say that, u are so beyond worth it and it breaks my heart that u can't see that

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: i can't even begin to describe how much u're worth, baby, pls don't be so hard on urself 🥺

mason: sof lets just face it, im not good for you

mason: you said it yourself, you were up all night worried sick for me, that's not a way to live

mason: i'm not a good person and you deserve better

[ctrlmcsons]

imessage ↬ sof ❤️

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐚: why not?? can u give me one good reason?

mason: im not worth it