This article will demonstrate the basic different levels of a femdom relationship.  It does not tell you where your relationship should be, it merely shows you the different levels.  Ultimately the two of you in your relationship need to find your own “sweet spot”.
For my wife’s and mine, we hover in between a level 3 and 4 and are quite comfortable there.  I have learned that all things to do with all matters besides financial are best left to my wife, and me as a willing and obedient servant serving her.  For us, it is just a matter that I have a better understanding of growing our financial situation, and securing our financial future.  I am also the major bread winner, although that is now why we have decided to do it this way.
In all other matters my wife is the boss, and I am her servant to make sure her wishes are met. Â If I do not, I am punished, and I thank her for it. Â I know that I can be lazy, and through her control over me, she pushes me to make the goals I set forth and holds me accountable for not making them when I fall short.
We are happier than ever, but each couple is different. Â We have found that a lot of people have very successful relationships hovering in between a level 2 and 3. Â Read the levels, and understand them and find your sweet spot. Â Once you both have read and found a level that you are both comfortable at, proceed to the affirmations for that level, and begin each day with a ritual spanking after each affirmation is read aloud. Â Of course this does not include any other spankings due for disobedience at anytime.
One last thing to understand about the different levels. Â Make sure you understand that these are guidelines and every couple is different, but that being said, it is best to match the affirmations up with the activities.
In other words, if a woman loves the affirmations for men at Level 3, but is not willing to engage in Level 3 activities, it is best to choose the affirmations that align with the activities that both partners are willing to do.
If you try and do affirmations for a level without being able to participate in the activities of that level, someone or both of you will be unhappy and their will be turmoil. Â Find a level of activities first that fit where you want to be, then match the affirmations up. Â Do not go in reverse and pick the level of affirmations you like best, if you are not willing to do the activities.
Also, it is possible that you will do activities in a level beyond your affirmations if it is consensual. Â I am ok with Level 4 activities with my wife, as long as it does not involve male/male encounters.
Both partners have to stretch their comfort zones, but ultimately most people have boundaries that they will not cross. Â Respect these boundaries mutually, and with time the growing love and intimacy formed, these can be stretched. Â Be careful not to push though and accept your partners hard limits. Â More on limits here.
This is a basic change in the household. Â Your man has not relinquished control and in fact still makes the big decisions in the household. Â He is starting to learn and place a higher value on the things you do and becomes a better contributor to your household. Â Ultimately, you really have no control over him whatsoever, but he is more respectful to your needs.
If his needs or wants super cedes yours, he will of course does what he wants to do.  This is really where the overwhelming majority of marriages are, and probably why the divorce rate is where it is.  This is not a femdom marriage.  This is a “vanilla” marriage.
The woman is generally not satisfied outside of the bedroom, and therefore the man is not that satisfied in it.
Sex in Level 1 is very average and it is likely that neither partner is getting what they want out of sex, and this is why many couples start to explore the femdom lifestyle or end up in divorce. Â It is usually the man needing more and better sex that reaches out first. Â The woman is usually resistant because she thinks he is just trying to have his cake and eat it too.
average North American marriage
This is where most people begin a journey that can transform their lives into a more mutual relationship where equality truly does come into play. Â Many people think that this is where marriages should be, but my personal opinion is that is some way or form, that it is better that one person or the other has the final say in all matters. Â It may mean separating some of these things so that the man has the final say in this or that, but the woman has the final saying on all other matters.
By definition of femdom – female dominance, the man that wishes for a level 2 relationship should begin to relinquish all control to the female with the understanding that she will be a better leader than the male.  Studies have proven this, but for the sake of this article, we will not go into much detail about it.
Men in level 2 are matching at minimum the household chores to his wife. Â He is learning to do what she does, and removing a lot off her plate which in turn is making her happier. Â This is a transitional phase, because it is more about the man learning how to please his woman outside of the bedroom which in turn makes her more willing to please him inside of it. Â Men are kinky by nature and have very visual fantasies that they would do almost anything to live out, but most relationships will never go there because of all the hidden resentments, feelings, and frustration with each other. Â Level 2, starts to break down these feelings from both people. Â The man may start out by doing more chores with the anticipation of more and better sex, but soon will discover that seeing his wife happier is really fulfilling and a buzz on its own. Â This makes him want to do more for her, and it starts a cycle of maybe for the first time since you first met, of reciprocal loving feelings for each other. Â This is where failing marriages start to turn for the better.
Male Chastity is usually introduced at this level. Â Along with other sex toys that broaden the womans perception of sex and helps her become more liberated and confident with her body and her mind. Â Sex is mostly in the mind for women, and the better they feel about themselves, the better they can engage in more meaning intimate sex, rather than just trying to get her husband off.
Sex is getting better, and the woman is learning to be more sexual and starting to like the power of feeling this way. Â The man is becoming more obedient and compliant to his partner, which feeds the power to the female. Â There is genuine transfer of power happening at this level that is pleasing to both people.
Things that may happen in Level 2
equal split of house chores
male chastity is introduced
disciplining male for behaviour wife is not please with
generally a lot more respect for the woman in the household
structure being developed by woman
light transfer of power between man and woman
After a while in level 2, the marriage has evolved into what it was that made you get married in the first place. Â However, you have found out that the reason for this, is because the woman is gaining control. Â The man is liking this new sexy powerful wife, and is starting to realize that by being submissive to his wife, their life together is transforming into something he had always dreamed about.
The woman generally is reaching a point of no return.  There is no way she can go back.  It would be definite divorce if that was the case.  She loves the way she is being treated, and the kinky needs of her husband that were once “gross” and “deviant” she is now starting to enjoy as much or even more than the husband.
She has learned that through this kink, she can control her husband and take him to anyplace she desires by pushing on buttons. Â She is pampered daily now with massages, foot rubs, and other pampering activities. Â She controls the remote to the TV, and decides on what they are doing on days off, days on, or whenever. Â She is ultimately pulling most strings and does not intend on ever handing them back. Â She is wondering why she was so reluctant to this lifestyle in the first place. Â It was because she thought it was going to be all about the mans kinky needs and she did not see that this lifestyle is truly leaning towards the womans ultimate happiness.
The man has learned that his womans ultimate happiness is his ultimate happiness. Â We can all make money and dive into work, and we can get rich. Â We can do all sorts of things, but nothing will satisfy any of us more than a deep meaningful relationship with our partner. Â In level 3, I believe humans are just starting to learn on what mother nature built us for.
The woman now completely controls his orgasms, and keeps them limited to very infrequently keeping her husband in a state of sexual arousal that makes him more attentive to her and more productive in his life. Â Eliminating masturbation of the male has really started to work well for the couple, and life is excellent.
The man is doing a lot of the household chores now, and he is whistling while he works. Â He is horny when he is doing the housework thinking of how much he loves his wife, and how good life is now. Â This is a real sweet spot for most couples that explore this lifestyle. Â It is where my wife and I primarily live. Â It is a great place to be.
Things that might happen in Level 3
woman becomes leader of household
weekly and even daily spankings to husband
dominance rituals to enforce transfer of power
anal penetration (on him)
bondage and restraint (him)
leisure activities dictated by woman
overall sense of being and purpose for both
There are a lot of people that are happy in level 4, and it is possible that even I could consider it with how well things have gone thus far. Â However, a word of caution. Â Somethings that are really good at level 3, should be left.
Level 4 is complete and total control over the male. Â The male has become more of a slave than a partner, and is dedicated solely for the pleasure of his wife or partner. Â The man is doing all of the housework, sometimes wearing a maid uniform, or panties to express clearly and proudly how his wife has turned him into her bitch. Â This is very sexually arousing for the male, however, it is the woman that is experiencing the best sex of her life.
At this level, the woman has so much control that in some relationships (clearly not mine, EVER!) she is free to have sex with anyone she wants anytime she wants. Â This is where the term cuckolding comes in. Â This is when a woman sleeps with other men, and makes her partner lick their cum from inside them when they come home from a date. (I know, weird right?)
We are not here to judge, but for my wife and I, we find this distancing the relationship and taking it too far. Â For some couples though this is bliss for both.
Things that may happen in Level 4
forced homosexuality for the male
brutal punishments and control of the male
renting out male as male hooker
Need I go on more? Â If you want this level of relationship, be careful what you ask for. Â The woman is so powerful in this relationship, and the man has given complete control over to her with no regards to his best interests. Â I suspect that many men that end up here where already homosexual and were trying to find a way to come out in a way that made them more comfortable in doing so.
While we are not here to tell you where your relationship should be, I will offer my personal opinion. Â I believe that level 3 offers the best connection between partners and allows you to stay monogamous to each other, and live a life that you could not if you had never stumbled across this way of life.
Activities in level 3 are usually kinky enough to satisfy the kinkiest of males, and also because usually other people are not involved at this level, a freeing level of connection where the 2 of you learn that there is nothing you can be ashamed of doing to or with each other. Â This is truly a freeing, liberating feeling that cannot be explained in mere words. Â Bliss is about the best word I can think of.
We personally do not touch on too many level 4 activities on this site, because:
We have not done many of them so cannot speak from experience
Believe that the femdom lifestyle is about female dominance within the context of a couple’s relationship.
We are not interested in male on male encounters.
If you are ready to start your new relationship, you must begin in Level 1 and work your way through. Â One level does not work without the other levels. Â It is a synergistic combination of all that affects the psyche to make power and positive changes in our own lives that affect our interaction with our partner.
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Understanding The Levels was originally published on Femdom Training | Husband Training Femdom
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