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@cuddleyourlittlesecrets
Wellbutrin- Update
It’s been some time now. Last week I started a 200mg daily dosage and I think it’ll actually do something for me. My next appointment is 11/29th. Maybe I’ll update in between now and then to see a difference. Currently, I’m definitely experiencing a change in appetite and some nausea. Also some mild twitches and some definite dry mouth.
Wellbutrin, Day 3
6PM
Today was a little bit better in terms of being tired all day. I definitely felt low-energy but I didn’t want to sleep. I thought I had a bit of a headache but that could’ve just been because I was hungry, not because of the medicine. I’m feeling really anxious about traveling this weekend but that’s normal. I’m low key putting off laundry and packing which is so dumb but I’ll get it done. Let’s see what tomorrow brings!
Wellbutrin, Day 2:
4pm
Day two of taking my 100mg. Feeling a little weird but honestly nothing new. I’ve felt low energy and tired and a little disassociated. I look forward to seeing how I feel in a week. I travel on Sunday and I’m dreading it. Then I’ll be with my family which I’m so excited for but they don’t know I’m on antidepressants.... and my mom won’t be mad about the pills, she’ll just be mad that I saw a psychiatrist before a primary care doctor.... but my excuse is that the ones I’ve called don’t have openings WHICH ISN’T 100% A LIE!
I’ve heard that WB and antidepressants in general can cause me to be feel emotions less strongly. Like someone said they used to cry even at sad commercials and now they don’t. Low key hoping that happens for me. I be sobbing at tv shows and movies and like, yeah they’re sad but damn they’re fake people, calm down!! So far I can still get myself to cry pretty easily lol.
Wellbutrin Day 1, Part 2:
Had some muscle twitches in my right calf leg and felt a little drowsy actually but overall not a bad 1st day.
Wellbutrin Day 1:
I took it a little later in the morning then I would’ve liked, but I have officially taken my first dose of Wellbutrin! I’m only starting with 100mg a day, so we’ll see how it goes. Hopefully it will work on me a bit, and then I’ll get a a bit more in my dose. I’m so excited to see how this all goes. Right now, I feel pretty normal. I had a little bit of a stomach ache for a few minutes but that could’ve been because I kinda stuffed my face with eggs on toast. I almost had Bustelo this morning but remembered my doctor said it will probably feel like caffeine and I’m not trying to feel my skin vibrate. I’ll update again if I’m feeling anything negative throughout the day but if not, I’ll be back tomorrow.
Starting Wellbutrin.
It’s been just over 10 years since I’ve really known I had mental health issues that affected my everyday life. I’ve struggled especially when I experienced change in my life. Freshman year of high school and college. When my parents separated. When I graduated college and was job hunting. Up to today, when I moved to LA and started working out here, more recently, working my very first full-time job in social media. I’ve been very lucky in life. I have a close and loving family. I’ve had good friendships (most of which I ruined but still). And thankfully, my sister is pretty normal and she has to amazing sons who I get to spoil and love with all my heart. They are truly what keeps me going most days. Especially the oldest, who quite literally saved my life and saved our family when we were at our lowest. But even with that good, there has been so much bad. I have way too much money in student debt. I am too fat. I don’t wanna be skinny minnie and I’m working on my own fatphobia. I’ve been bigger my whole life and I was taught that it was wrong. But looking back, I was always beautiful. So no, I’m not mad that I’m fat, but I have gotten to the point where it actually is affecting my health. I have trouble even just walking now, and I just wanna get to a point where I can walk/run/even just clean the house without getting so out of breathe. I love my family but they make weight comments about themselves and others that make me feel like shit. So all of this in perspective, I’m hoping that tomorrow, when I take my first pill, a new dawn will break. I finally feel hope again. I finally feel like my mental health wall is going to get taken down, brick by brick. And once that happens, I’ll feel more motivated to lose weight. I’ll feel motivated to go out by myself. Find queer friends. Find queer lovers. Find hobbies and things that excite me. It’s upsetting, but the world is built for skinny, straight, white people. And that will never be me. But I know there are spaces for me. I just need to go find them.
Not to vent but: fuck
You know that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob makes one small mistake and then just starts chanting, “SOILED IT” over and over again? That’s what it’s like to have anxiety.
this is just my unprofessional opinion but fuck all that shit
do you ever just fucking hate yourself for not working hard enough to reach your full potential?? cuz same.
goodnight to all the ones who never receive a goodnight
anyone else live under the assumption that they’re constantly doing something wrong
How about the assumption that everyone’s just being polite and any minute now they’re going to snap and let you know how awful you are
This
imagine having money wow i just got chills
I carry this water bottle around on purpose because I know the kids will ask me why I have a pink one. This is how every convo has gone:
Kids: Mr.C Why do you have a pink water bottle?
Me: Because I like pink, why?
Kids: Pink is for girls
Me: Why?
Kids: ummmmmmm
Me: Do you know why it’s for girls?
Kids: No it just is
That’s when I go into a brief lesson about how pink is JUST a color (I am the art teacher so they think I am the authority on colors) for everyone.
As a teacher I am trying my hardest to re-educate these kids in the most non threatening way possible. It will take them a minute to understand that pink isn’t a “girl color”, but a color we can all love
I love you for this
