A/N: *cracks knuckles* let’s get into it with some angst. 😈 (Listen to Cry by Cigarettes After Sex to get the full vibe of this fic)
Synopsis: you watch the light leave Geto's eyes during his depression before he makes his final decision.
Pairing: Geto Suguru x Reader
CW: angst, heartbreak, sexual themes, did I mention heartbreak?
Word Count: 1.4k
There were so many things that made you fall in love with Geto. His loyalty, his affections, his skill, his strong sense of self, his level headedness, his reliability, and his reasonableness.
He was an anchor. To you. To Satoru. To the school. To everyone who knew him.
Following the mission for the star plasma vessel, it was like he’d crawled into a shell. Upon his return, you had consoled him, but he had returned a changed man: quiet and unresponsive to you — the gentle caresses of his face and the warm hugs that you gave him did little — it was as though he was a weight and nothing more.
As usual, you spent time together, but you noticed that he was spacing out, not smiling as much, not being interactive. Where he’d been chipper, sociable, and loving before, he’d become reserved and quiet.
It was eating away at you slowly because you could do nothing but bear witness to the way that the light in him continued to dim each day.
“Suguru,” you said his name gently one day while you were studying together. It had been a couple of weeks now. He looked up to meet your gaze, an emptiness in his eyes that made your stomach twist into knots. “What’re you thinking about?”
After a moment of silence and pondering his response, he sighed quietly, “Everything and nothing.”
“Tell me about everything and nothing,” you told him, scooting over to sit as physically close to him as possible, taking his hand in yours.
As you interlaced your fingers with his, he let out a breath, something between a huff and a scoff, “you won’t get it.”
His curt reply hurt. Who better to understand than his girlfriend? Someone who was going to the same school as him, was living pretty much the same life as him presently? Your brows furrowed a little and you rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb.
“When have I ever not gotten something? Please, talk to me. I want to help you,” you plead, bringing your other hand to his face and caressing his jaw.
“Sweetheart,” he sighs, the sound of the pet name igniting some hope in you, “it’s…I…” he struggles to find the words to articulate his feelings, but he tries, even if for a moment.
You give him time and patiently await the moment that the floodgates open.
“There’s always a reason, right?” He asks, and you’re not sure if it’s directed at you or if it’s rhetorical. You answer anyway.
“Yeah, there should be,” you nod in agreement with him.
He nods slowly, “Exactly. There’s always a reason.” That was all he said, and he seemed content with that. He didn’t meet your gaze anymore. You didn’t push him, because you wanted to give him space. You squeezed his hand once more before you released it, and continued to study, which was easier said than done.
You stayed over that evening. While he was a little far away mentally, it was still him, and
you loved him. You had convinced yourself that this was a hurdle that he would overcome and that soon, you’d get to see him be his lively self again.
Oh, how wrong you were.
You did not know the things that were in store for you when you climbed into bed with him that night. You did not know that this would be the last time you’d have him to yourself. You did not know how his feelings for you and for the life he was living had dissipated.
Geto’s arms wrapped around your frame when you climbed in and got comfortable, which took you by surprise given the current state of things, but you welcomed it. You wound your own around him, relishing in the feeling of his warm body against you. You breathed him in and kissed his jaw softly, small kisses littered over his neck.
The gentle touch of your lips on his skin drew a quiet, breathy moan from him, and he squeezed you in his arms gently, hands travelling over your hips and down to cup your ass.
You both let your instincts take over, not thinking about what you were doing but just reacting to one another. Geto loved to kiss, usually, but tonight, it seemed as though he was avoiding it. His lips littered kisses everywhere but on yours, and you were starting to get frustrated about that. Wrapping your legs around his hips, you rolled him over onto his back, pulling your shirt up over your head. He quickly unclasped your bra, burying his face between your breasts and moaning against you as he teased you with his tongue and teeth.
In those moments of being intertwined with one another, everything felt normal again. It was difficult to think about anything when was buried deep inside you.
And when you’d both reached the peak and were coming down from the high, you held each other, breathless, not wanting to move.
“I love you,” he whispered into your hair. Words you’d heard a thousand times, but this time somehow felt different. When he’d spoken those words, it was as if they were laced with sadness, with a farewell.
You were too tired and too spent to dwell on this, and in the post orgasmic haze you were in, you didn’t want to think too much, so you closed your eyes and burrowed your face against him and willed yourself to sleep.
When you awoke the next morning, your heart clenched at the realisation that he’d left without you, and while you tried to stay optimistic, you wondered what the reason for his mood change truly was. It could not have been you, surely, you thought. It may have well been the pressure he was under with all of the cursed spirits he was absorbing.
When you got to the school, you noticed Gojo, who was positively fuming. He was pacing around with his phone to his ear, shaking his head in disbelief as he raged, “Where is he? I have to go and see him, now.”
He perked up when he saw you, but he did not smile. He knew that you would take this news the hardest. You were blissfully unaware of just what Geto had done, but not for long.
“Satoru, do you know where Suguru is?” Before you could even finish, he had grabbed hold of your arms.
Satoru said your name, and your heart caught at the look on his face. He was distraught. “He’s…he’s…he killed an entire village of non-sorcerers.”
Silence hung thick in the air as he watched for your response, the breath trapped in your lungs, time seeming to stop entirely. It couldn’t be.
Your legs would’ve given out beneath you had Gojo not been holding you.
“Come with me,” he told you, tugging on your arm so that you could go quickly to wherever it was that Geto was.
But you couldn’t move.
“Y/N, come on, we have to go before he leaves,” Gojo pled, because he couldn’t say the words ‘before he leaves and we never see him again.’
You couldn’t think, so your body worked on autopilot, jumping into action and your legs carrying you as fast as they could behind Gojo, running, running, running.
When you arrived at Shinjuku, you caught your breath as Gojo yelled out to Geto, who was walking in the other direction.
Geto turned around, observing how you and Gojo were right there, nothing but anger in Gojo’s eyes and nothing but betrayal in yours.
“So that’s it?! You just kill every single non-sorcerer?!” Gojo’s anger could not be described, his voice shook a little from how much emotion he was feeling.
Geto sighed, “If it means no cursed spirits, then yes. I’ll do my best.”
You gasped at this, covering your mouth as you choked out a sob. Geto looked at you briefly, but he showed no emotion. The light in his eyes, while it had been dim before, had now ceased to exist entirely. Your heart sank to the floor at his admission and his emotionless look and you felt the despair deep within your soul as he slipped through your fingers entirely, as the realisation that he was no longer yours dawned on you.
“You can’t do this!” Gojo yelled, and you struggled to keep your tears at bay. You couldn’t trust yourself to speak in that moment, so you let Gojo do the talking.
“I can. And I will,” was Geto’s response, and with that, he turned and walked away. Out of your life. Out of Gojo’s. And away from everything he’d once stood and fought for.
You watched as he got lost in the crowd, holding onto Gojo for strength. You did not want to believe it in that moment, that you’d lost him.
I’ve been writing on and off for approximately 9 years now.
I’m back to writing after a very long break from writing…the fandom I was in didn’t interest me anymore and after becoming acquainted with JJK, the creative flow came right back. Good LORD! I cannot wait to share my writing with you all. I’ll be writing for Gojo, Nanami, and Geto for the time being.
I may be a little rusty so please bear with me, because I’m reminding myself that writing needs to be for myself first and foremost.
Here’s to a new chapter, I hope that you’ll enjoy my writing soon 🫶🏻
“why don’t you do it if you like it” because I’m scared “but why don’t you still try it out if you enjoy it” because I’m scared “but what if it gives you joy” I am scared
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