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@cumwhorehowell
a good lesson
I HAVE ALREADY LEARNED THIS LESSON AND IT WAS HILARIOUS
I love how Dan and Phil both recognize each other by cupping the others cheek!
Recreating Vegas
The sequal to this fic that I wrote decades ago. This fic won’t really make sense without reading the first part, it picks up immediately where the first left off, and it might seem strange without context 😂
Warnings: Drunken sex, poor description of friends to lovers, caught masturbating, apostrophes
900ish words
—
Phil decides that it would be best to go ahead and get out. He feels incredibly sleazy, and just wants to go to sleep and forget about it. Plus, the longer time goes on, the more he is affected by the drinks he had earlier, and he doesn’t want to pass out in the bathtub. Phil sits up and, to his horror, sees Dan standing in the doorway. “Dan!”
Dan gaps his mouth, his face flushed. “Was just gonna piss, n'you was…” Dan makes a vague swishing motion with his hand. “N'I was just gonna leave but then… you said… my name.”
Phil stutters, mortified, trying to come up with an excuse as to why, exactly, he was jerking off while thinking about Dan. The excuse doesn’t come. “I-I’m sorry, I was thinking about you while I…” Phil mimics Dan’s hand motion, his already scarlet cheeks going a shade darker.
Dan stumbles across the room, not bothering to take his jeans off before stepping into the tub and sinking down onto his knees. “M'sorry, too.”
Phil flashes his eyes down to see Dan’s erection printing through his jeans. He looks back up to Dan’s eyes, half lidded and pupils blown.
Dan grabs either side of the tub to steady himself as he leans forward, too close to Phil’s face as he slurs, “I haven’t been able to get you outta my head since we fuckin’ met, n’ after that night we… we made that video, that night we fucked, all I wanna do when I’m around you is kiss you n’ touch you n’ play with your hair n’ hold your hand n’ fuckin’ fuck you n’ m'sorry I’ve never had the balls to tell you ‘til catchin’ you havin’ a wank.” Dan doesn’t give Phil time to respond before crushing their lips together, forcing Phil’s body back to lie against the hard wall of the tub.
Phil can’t help but to be sucked into Dan, sinking into the water until it threatens to flood his ears. Wet, harsh fabric kneads into his skin as Dan shimmies further and further into his lap. Phil’s hands dart beneath the water to unbutton Dan’s jeans, struggling for a moment before they finally come undone. Dan keens quietly above him as Phil hastily tugs his jeans and boxers down just enough to free his cock.
“Fuck, Phil-!” Dan gasps as his cock is enveloped by Phil’s mouth, his hips already pulsing to meet the bob of Phil’s head.
Phil reverses their position, shoving Dan to lie back in the tub and towering over him. Phil shoves his knees beneath Dan’s ass so his cock stays above the water and continues his work, taking Dan as deep as he can without gagging. The position is a bit awkward, Dan’s jeans limiting their movements and Dan’s body cocked back too far to appear comfortable, but based strictly on the strangled sobs of pleasure pouring from Dan’s mouth; Phil assumes it will be good enough.
Dan can barely breathe and water is dangerously close to covering his face, but all he can really focus on is the wet heat sending shocks through the rest of his body. Phil’s hands grip and scratch at his denim clad thighs as he sucks him deeper and faster, pretty blue eyes dark with lust glaring a hole through his skull. Dan’s mouth hangs open and embarrassingly loud cries and whimpers fill the room, and before long Dan is arching out of the water and his hands are clutching at Phil’s shoulders. Dan’s volume reaches a crescendo as he climaxes, his hips jerking violently into Phil’s accepting mouth.
Phil swallows every hot, salty pulse that Dan gives him, moving up and down Dan’s length slowly to allow him to ride his orgasm for as long as possible, only stopping when Dan starts pulling his hips away.
They stumble out of the tub and back into the bedroom, Dan shucking off his jeans and underwear somewhere along the way. There is a short pause when they reach the beds, both of them just sober enough to realize that sharing a bed is normally something they don’t do, but drunk enough to question whether or not they want that to continue.
Phil cuts his eyes to look at Dan, returning a shy smile when Dan’s fingers thread into his.
“M’serious.” Dan says quietly. “I don’t wanna only do this when m’ so wasted I won’t remember. N’ I wanna do all the other stuff too…” Dan squeezes Phil’s hand, twirling his fingers in Phil’s hair as he presses a gentle kiss to his lips.
Phil returns the gesture, their slow, easy kiss stretching over several seconds as Phil pulls Dan into his body. They meander over to the bed, slowly lying down together. Their lips are dry and stick together a bit as they kiss, gentle smacking sounds barely audible. They only stop because they are dosing off, their lips easing to a halt naturally. Phil wraps his arms around Dan’s waist and pulls him closer, murmuring into his hair, “I think I love you, Dan.”
Dan nuzzles into Phil’s chest, planting a final kiss to Phil’s body before whispering, “I think I love you too, Phil.”
With the hopes of actually remembering this in the morning in the back of their minds, they both crash, their bodies finally surrendering to sleep in each other’s embrace.
Remembering Vegas
Phil gets a little nostalgic and a little horny and a little sad.
—
Phil tosses his phone onto his bed after snapping a pic of Dan, passed out in bed with a piñata. In the picture, it looks like Dan had simply snuggled up with the piñata and fallen asleep. Not true. Dan had actually made it from the bar to the elevator, sloppy drunk and pulling his shirt off, before passing out.
This left Phil to drag him, his shirt, and the piñata down the hall, into their room, and onto his bed. Phil tossed the piñata on the bed beside Dan, and Dan grabbed it and pulled it to his chest. Perfect picture moment.
Phil stares down at Dan as the younger starts to shift around, seeking a more comfortable position. He finally settles on his stomach, his hair splayed over his face and his arms jammed under the pillow. It reminds Phil of their first trip to Vegas when Dan had turned 21, a night which ended in deleting all of the footage they had recorded so that they could make a drunken sex tape.
Phil bites his lip. That had been an awkward morning, and they agreed never to speak of it again. (And to watch the video one time before deleting it.)
Phil’s cheeks heat up thinking about it, and his jeans get a little tighter. Phil turns on his heel and walks to the bathroom, shooing the thoughts from his mind.
—
Phil sighs deeply as he sinks down into the tub. A hotel tub. A fancy, expensive, giant hotel tub that actually covers his whole body. Phil is in heaven.
Phil swishes his hands idly in the water. The bath bomb he used has made the water a deep purple, contrasted by glitter catching the light overhead.
If Phil listened very closely, he could hear Dan snoring through the thin walls, and again his brain brings back their night in Vegas years before. Phil was sure to watch his own alcohol intake to avoid making the same mistake twice, but he had forgotten how much of a lightweight he was. He had only had a couple of drinks, but his head is swimmy, and mixed with the warm water lulling him, his cock hardening beneath the water suddenly doesn’t feel as guilt ridden as it did before.
Phil decides touching himself is probably fine. Why wouldn’t it be? He is a grown man, he isn’t sexually active, and he is alone in the bath. It’s not like he is really thinking about Dan as he wraps his hand around himself. That would be wrong. Right? Right. So Phil isn’t thinking about Dan as he strokes himself, he is just thinking about what he could remember from their sexual encounter, filling in the blanks with what he watched in the video. That’s fine.
It’s also fine that remembering the noises Dan made gives Phil goosebumps. After all, Dan screaming with every trust of Phil’s cock was one of Phil’s favorite parts of the memory. It was by far the most vivid, so isn’t that a good enough reason to allow his body to react to it? In the past Phil had always come up with a reason it wasn’t okay, but now, his breath picking up and his hips rocking to meet his hand, he can’t find a single reason why this would be a bad thing.
Come to think of it, there are a lot of things he remembers from that night that Phil doesn’t see a problem with using to get off with anymore. Like the way Dan begged him to pull his hair. Or how Dan thrusted back every time so that Phil’s cock would hit his prostate harder. Or the sound of absolute bliss Dan made when Phil finally started stroking his cock in time with his thrusts.
Phil’s jaw is slack and his brows are furrowed. The water splashes softly as he pumps his fist, the head of his cock poking up out of the water. A sheen of sweat covers his face.
Phil’s favorite memory of them all was when Dan came. Despite the fast, urgent nature of the sex itself, their orgasms built slowly. Phil knew when Dan was going to come when he stopped making noise, when his moans had suddenly died down to short, quick breaths, and the only sounds he made were tiny whispers of “Ph-Phil!”
When this happened Phil reached forward and wrapped his hand around Dan’s cock, causing Dan to cry out. If Phil hadn’t already been close, that would have gotten him there. He stroked Dan in time with his thrusts at first, but it soon devolved into sloppy motions as they both reached their peeks. Dan came screaming Phil’s name, spending over Phil’s fingers. Phil came immediately after, shouting weakly and gripping Dan’s hips hard with his other hand.
Phil is making small moans of his own now, completely engrossed in his memories. His hips are raised up as he pushes his feet into the tub, most of his cock out of the water as his hand moves quickly over it. He feels his orgasm snaking up his spine, heat settling in his stomach and washing over his body. “Oh, God, Dan-!” He whimpers quietly, spilling hard over his stomach.
Phil sighs shakily as he slowly lowers himself back down. He runs his hand over his stomach, washing away the evidence. Phil feels the heavy weight of guilt rush over his chest, and hopes that he won’t remember this in the morning as well as he remembers that night with Dan.
rt your kink
fuck em up phil
-dan howell, being a supportive boyfriend (via jilliancares)
Yo imma be honest i love your bloh
Omg I think I love you 💖💖
petition for daniel howell to start acknowledging his beauty and accepting compliments instead of deterring them with self hate. sign here.
honestly, sometimes a bulge pic is better than a dick pic
Looks like someone hit the spot…
clingy squish
reblogging again because phil touched his dick on camera bless
more soft things:
dan not even being able to state that he’s better at gaming than phil is, choosing to basically drag himself instead and say that he’s just nerdier and lamer than phil is … like why …. idk shit about gaming but dan seems objectively better at p much everything they play so whY DID HE EVEN NEED To DO THAT he couldve just said “i’m better” and moved tf on!!!!
dan greeting phil with “oh, hello. the rat emerges” omfg. im thinking about how he named his rattata pokemon ‘phil’ last year and him saying ‘shut up rat’ in his quizzes about myself video … im loving that this is just a recurring nickname for phil at this point why is it so fuckin cute
phil leaning into dan’s space repeatedly to look at the phone and play w the filters:
their 30 second ‘documentary’ about fire and how enthralled dan was at phil sharing his nerdy ‘science’ facts about fire being alive
dan not-so-subtly staring at phil when he fiddles w his top button and then immediately saying the stream will need to be flagged
the fact that they couldnt even let their differing opinions on fargo stand and had to talk out a middle ground for their viewpoints right then and there
rock paper scissors and phil nudging dan’s hand softly w his fist when he wins
phil sticking his socked foot in dan’s face and instead of being offended dan mostly just sounds enthralled by the fact that phil’s socks have corgis on
so! much! smiling! what the fuckksdjfskdfsdf!!!!!!!!
The moment in the TATINOF movie when angry Dan calls Phil by his full name is forever playing in my mind and fucks me up every time.
concept: dan being a fucking grammar nazi even in bed, correcting phil’s dirty talk in high, breathy moans with the widest shit-eating grin possible, and phil just wraps his hand around dan’s throat and squeezes until dan doesn’t even have enough air to breathe much lets make snarky comebacks about phil using ‘was’ instead of ‘were’
THIS WOULD BE ME