chris lee

listening to roger miller and eating miracle whip with a salad spoon

[cuntryjunkie]

myspace.com/cuntryjunkie. this is an independent + low effort writing blog for the original character chris lee, formely @v4vile-a. heavy focus on interacting and just having a fun ol time with friends. written by chet, she/her: twenny1+. writer is on bst (gmt+1) 🤠

loosely based on the lore established by ea black box's skate series, chris lee is a pro-skateboarder, online popular personality and bit of an urban myth. chris' story primarily takes place in the late 1990s/early 2000s, at the height of his super trashy career.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀about.⠀⠀⠀⠀prompts.⠀⠀⠀⠀pinboard.⠀⠀⠀⠀playlist.

rules? 21+ only. mutuals only. shipping available. don't be a dick. plz turn anything i write into a thread, i encourage it!!!! soft block if you don't wanna interact. if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me because i'm super friendly. and erm, play barbies with me or perish instantly. (yes i have felt the loving touch of another and it does not compare to being a diehard skate fan in 2026).

affiliated with: @schmonyschmawk, @heavnhill/@skatesofassttt, @rotcurator, @monstyrious, @redfieled <333

[cuntryjunkie]

thanks @schmonyschmawk

[cuntryjunkie]

absolutely exhausted love u all i am going to get into my fuck ass bed and watch some shitty ass 80s movie like flight of the navigator. yeah

[cuntryjunkie]

what is everyone’s fave like… 80s comedy sci fi fantasy kinda shtick… like goonies or smthn…. asking because maybe u will inspire me

[cuntryjunkie]

absolutely exhausted love u all i am going to get into my fuck ass bed and watch some shitty ass 80s movie like flight of the navigator. yeah

[cuntryjunkie]

i need a berocca a couple of clif bars and about a thousand volts through the nipples to get me through this shift

[cuntryjunkie]

i'd love to be the forty year old family dude who sees an 88 dodge grand caravan parked up with a for sale sign on it that reads: enquire inside. and he has to go into this chinese takeout to ask about the car. and the dude behind the counter opens a door and goes up a flight of stairs and there's this THUD THUD THUD. "hey asshole!" and like. two minutes later chris lee appears downstairs in a 'i ran the great marathon of 1896' t-shirt and his boxer shorts and those adidas adissage sliders. takes you outside and shows you the car. says he accepts cash - nothin that jingles, only what folds - and cheques except he doesn't know how to cash cheques so basically cash only. wanna hear what the horn sounds like? anyway all the paperwork is in the front here. oh hahaha sorry you don't need that– *removes from the pile an unused bumper sticker that says 'i drive this small truck to compensate for my huge penis'* the car has a weird smell being masked by black ice freshener and chris lee is standing awkwardly close to you. scratching his head. looking out at the main road. getting Bored

[cuntryjunkie]

literally cannot express how much this is chris lee on a rando tuesday afternoon. full send just torching it down a hill

[cuntryjunkie]

i wouldve been unstoppable if i had cuntryjunkie last year when i was working as a barista in new zealand. i literally sat in a van all day at the ninth hole of a rich man's golf course and served about 40 customers in seven hours

[cuntryjunkie]

@chrailerchrash said: you sure are dumb...

“nuh uh, kiss me. seriously, kiss me.”

they're outside a 7/11. chris lee smacked his head on the door comin out cus the place is owned by the fuckin borrowers or somethin. anyway, on impact he remembered that bibi said he kisses like a wet frog. like a wet fuckin frog dude. now he wants to prove himself.

“i don't drool any fuckin more than the next guy. c'mon. what? are you afraid you're gonna fall in love with me?”

[schmonyschmawk]

"at least i have four wheels - you barely have the same, fuckwit. i don't need no cry baby grown man callin' me puddin' an' shit to drive me nowhere. y'patrionising asshole."

and the muttering continues, this is sooo like you......... can't be happy for nobody........ no wonder people - and so on and so forth.

[cuntryjunkie]

he rolls his eyes. “mimimimimi.” watches her, hand on his hip. head cocked to the side... diva shit. “just do the stupid line already man. i think i got sick from the sun or some shit.”

[cuntryjunkie]

i could write a whole thread of chris lee zooted watching beavis and butthead on his couch

[schmonyschmawk]

"which makes you butthead. suits you, shit for brains."

[cuntryjunkie]

“oh- huh? what was that you just said? please don't leave me and make me walk all the way home chris. i love you so much chris.”

“puddin, don'tcha worry. i'll get you home.”

[schmonyschmawk]

"how's about you just fuck off? you ever considered that?"

[cuntryjunkie]

“woah. settle down beavis.”

[cuntryjunkie]

not much to do here this eve... feelin eepy. was gonna make some more icons and then rmrd that i was gonna make them for @doctorvenko so off i goooooooooooooooooo

[cuntryjunkie]

erm... dogmeat (@monstyrious) just kissed chris lee.

it's just a friendly thing. on her tiptoes, beckonin chris lee to arch a little and meet her halfway (short ass he says with affection). a peck on the cheek. the hopeless romantic in him soars anyway and he can't tell left from right, up from down. maybe it's that or maybe it's the night they had and the way he'd never really looked at her. chris lee looked at her tonight, like... looked at her for real. like... checked her out. and it ain't with any real thought or calculation that he makes his move but he's soon seekin out her lips with his own. hand comin round to hold her in place, at the back of her neck.

in his head he's callin himself a douche. you're such a fuckin douche, what the hell y'think you're doin? but it don't stop him none. he ain't thinkin... too fucked up from lookin into her blue eyes. she's busy playin the fiddle on his heartstrings like she weren't just dogmeat a few seconds before. now she's suddenly dogmeat, y'know? shit this could end their friendship... which is kind'uva bummer but also, shrug. kiss now, fill in the fuckin paperwork later.

chris lee gets to keep the half-eaten tamale.

[sexyroot]

[cuntryjunkie]

how many tabs would you like open? yes