I read a blog and became interested in being a daddy. I have never been into bdsm but I am a nice very caring guy, alot like you say a daddy is. I may of found me a little, any tips you can give to help a new daddy and his little into this?
Hello! Thank you for the question. I do have some tips on How to be the Perfect Little in 10 Steps and How to be the Perfect Daddy in 10 Steps, but here are some more tips for starters in the D(M)DLG(B) lifestyle.
Tips for a Good Relationship
First of all, we have learned that a healthy relationship is one where you want to make your partner happy just as much as your partner wants to make you happy. This serves for any kind of relationship that you want to maintain in your life, even relationship within family or friends. It cannot be one-sided. Love and understanding have to come from every direction in the relationship.
Second, communication is the source of all problems. Fighting is not the answer, ever. Instead of fighting with your thoughts boiling, step aside from your partner until you calm down and then come back to discuss the problems. Do not insult them or disrespect them, ever. This also cannot be one-sided. Aggression is not an option, especially not for a Caregiver. Caregivers need extreme patience and, as the name suggest, care giving.
Third, taking care of your partner is a basic step for a happy relationship. Of course Caregivers need to care for their Littles. After all, they are Littles and they need more care than regular people. However, every once in a while, carrying the weight of the world is not good for a Caregiver, and this is where the Little comes in. It does not need to be a huge ceremony. Just kiss their cheek, hold them tight and tell them they’re the most loving creature of the universe. Littles need to reassure their Caregivers everyday that they are their safe shelter, their protectors, their world, their everything; while Caregivers need to reassure their Littles that they’re their diamond, their pearl, their most precious and fragile treasure.
Fourth, being loving and caring is everything a Little wants. Nonetheless, being stern is everything a Little needs. Loving and strict need to be 50/50 in you. Littles will be hard to control and you need your Dominant power to do that. Littles will also be extremely needy and fragile, and that’s what your Caregiver side is for. Again, strict does not mean aggressive. Just a reminder.
Fifth, aking rules is extremely important. And remember, just like the constitution has amendments, rules need to be added, removed and changed according to the Little’s needs. Just like a country creates laws, rights and punishments for a disciplined society, a Caregiver creates laws, rights and punishments for a disciplined Little. It’s a basic need.
Long Distance Relationships
If it’s a LDR, things can get very tricky, but not impossible. In that case, Caregivers need to be extremely observant on their Little’s daily routine and take notes on their common daily/weekly tasks, understanding their needs and wants. A Caregiver must know what their Little wants or needs even before they know it themselves. Observing your Little’s actions, reactions, tasks and duties can be a huge influence on a Little’s rules. Also, their punishments need to be a lot different. Some tips:
Self-Spanking: can also be accompanied with Corner Time;
Very Light Humiliation: confessing to Tumblr or to a group something the Little did wrong;
Light Humiliation: writing something of the Caregiver’s choice in your forehead, arms or anywhere visible and going out on the street for a certain period of time. It’s a variation of Writing Lines, but with a smaller sentence and in a visible place in your body.
And, worse of all and only in extreme circumstances, not talking to their Caregiver for a certain period of time. Do not use this unless it is extremely necessary to make your point. This is an extreme case and can only be used if the other ones failed immensely.
If you and your Little live together, share rent and everything else, they probably do not have much time to be Little. In that case, you can reserve a few hours of the day or a day of the week to give that to them. Tips on what to do to make your Little feel in little space and participate:
Give them bubble baths, especially if they have a favourite bath bomb;
Make them food and serve the food in a cute plate: mac n’ cheese, chicken nuggets, noodles and hot chocolate are awesome examples;
Play with them, talk to their stuffies and have tea parties with them;
Pick their clothes for them and/or change them;
Watch cartoons or Disney movies with them;
Colour pretty pictures with them and hang them on the fridge.
Be Little in Public Places
Also, giving your Little the opportunity to be little in public places is very important. Here are some tips:
Take them to the zoo, park, circus, Disney or any other place where it is socially acceptable to act childish and to be dressed in a more childish way;
Hold their hand at all times;
Order their food for them;
Cover their eyes when they should not be looking at something inappropriate (like violence or sexual contact) and covering their ears when they should not be hearing something inappropriate (like cursing words).
Let them hold their cup with two hands.
Let them go in the back seat and lock their seat belt for them.
Most be fair at all times and never be aggressive, yell or use force. Strict is different from abusive;
Respect their Little’s boundaries and privacy;
Do not treat them as if they are less than you. Treat them like normal people, only they need extra love, care and attention;
Give them small presents. Tip: the best presents do not come from the stores. Forts, goodnight kissies, bedtime stories, walks on the park and movie nights are amazing presents;
Do not abandon or ignore a Little. Breaking up the relationship is different from abandoning or ignoring.
Serve them and be obedient (unless they like brats), they always know best;
Remind them of how strong, supportive, loving, caring and protecting they are;
Always use the magic words, like please and thank you and ask for permission to do almost everything;
Never curse or be rude to your Caregiver or to others. Let your Caregiver solve the adult things for you, unless they’re not with you;
Let your Caregiver take care of you but also learn how to take care of yourself when they’re not around. Not enough to not need them, just so they know you will survive if they need to go to work or travel for a few days.
Keep in mind that this is only a complement to these other links. Feel free to check them out.
How to Recognize a True Daddy;
How to Know if You’re a Little;
How to be the Perfect Little in 10 Steps;
How to be the Perfect Daddy in 10 Steps.
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