Crazy Shit I get in Support @customersupportanonymous - Tumblr Blog

Helping out another game...

So I’m helping out one of our game’s actual support’s and I get to field things like this:

“ You know what. Fuck all of yous over there. Bitch ass shiny wants to remove everyone's shit. I bet he doesn't tell you guys how we feel as if he did you guys don't give a shit. The game will be obsolete real soon. I got a lawyer that's going to fix everyone's issues with yous and the game. Stupid game and I guess stupid me for supporting it “

Totally my fault... all of it

Sorry you hate Unity, lol

So a guy is super pissed that we allow Unity games on the site and when I told him that we were not going to not let them, he sent this lovely gem.

“ That is where you are wrong. You are also a platform who can dictate what plugins they are allowed to offer. Also as the host, it's your duty to make sure the plugin that is being offered for the game in question is the right one for the browser. If you can't even do that, maybe you need to reconsider even offering games for sell, you *Parent Company* piece of shit. I've had this issue since the switch from 32 bit to 64 bit, because most game developers and plugin makers don't know what they're doing. This site's also gone down hill since *Parent Company* bought it, so get your heads out of your asses, start doing your fucking jobs as hosters, and actually allow quality games again. “

What did you do at work today?

Today I learned about the Vietnamese currency named “dong” and then we had a field day.

Ragnar [1:01 PM] i started giggling at Vietnamese Dong

QA_Coworker [1:01 PM] The dong is very strong at the moment

[1:01]

I wish I could get my hands on some dong

Intern [1:02 PM] wow, the dong is very stable

Community_Coworker [1:02 PM] A couple US dollars will get you plenty of dong

Ragnar [1:02 PM] do you think the dong will grow?

QA_Coworker [1:02 PM] yeah, and it’s well documented that the dong is incredibly flexible

Dev_Coworker [1:03 PM] Intern, the dong is rock solid, has been for years.

Community_Boss [1:03 PM] :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Community_Coworker2 [1:03 PM] :100:

Intern [1:04 PM] everyone in Vietnam is giving each other plenty of dong

Dev_Coworker [1:04 PM] It’s important to share your dong in a communist country.

Community_Boss [1:04 PM] Intern, I'm so proud of how well we raised you

Ragnar [1:04 PM] glad to see equality in the east

Community_Coworker [1:04 PM] I hear you can exchange your dong for goods and services.

Dev_Coworker [1:04 PM] Your dong is everyone’s dong.

Community_Coworker2 [1:04 PM] Yeah, you see folks walk around asking, "Can you give me a dong, man?"

Community_Coworker2 [1:05 PM] There are too many possible new burrito topics here

Beard [1:05 PM] You can get about 10k dong for a dollar

Ragnar [1:05 PM] be sure to trade dong with lots of people

Community_Coworker [1:05 PM] But not too often! You want to keep a tight grip on most of your dong.

[1:05]

You might need your dong later.

Community_Boss [1:05 PM] (actually 22k dong for a dollar)

Community_Coworker3 [1:05 PM] So many sex tape titles, so little time...

Beard [1:05 PM] IS it that far off now?

Community_Coworker2 [1:05 PM] That's a bucketful of dong

Beard [1:05 PM] man

Ragnar [1:06 PM] how do you carry your dong? wheelbarrow

Community_Coworker3 [1:06 PM] Quite of few of them, I'd gather

Dev_Coworker [1:06 PM] Think they would have bought kongregate.com for two bags of dong?

Community_Coworker2 [1:06 PM] All stores in Vietname are dong stores.

Community_Coworker [1:06 PM] set the channel topic: Cody: I wish I could get my hands on some dong.

Ragnar [1:07 PM] it's a dong good thing we keep ourselves corralled over here(edited)

Community_Coworker [1:07 PM] gotta keep the dong under control

Dev_Coworker [1:07 PM] Man, I thought we were dong.

QA_Coworker [1:07 PM] I always try to keep a pocket full of dong when I’m visiting Vietnam

Ragnar [1:08 PM] I think you can buy pocket dong in Vietnam

Dev_Coworker [1:08 PM] I keep my dong in a sack. Very important, my dong sack.

Intern [1:08 PM] you've gotta keep some dong at the ready 24/7

Dev_Coworker [1:08 PM] Yup, that’s why I also carry around a wad of dong.

Ragnar [1:08 PM] but not for more than 4 hours

QA_Coworker [1:09 PM] One time my dong slipped out of my hands during a business exchange and things got pretty messy

[1:09]

there was so much yelling

Dev_Coworker [1:09 PM] That’s why you shouldn’t whip out your dong.

Ragnar [1:09 PM] encase it in a protective sleeve

Dev_Coworker [1:09 PM] Yeah, dong sack, what I tell ya?

QA_Coworker [1:09 PM] oh you mean my dong wallet?

Dev_Coworker [1:09 PM] #dong-sack

Intern [1:09 PM] it's very important to protect your dong

Dev_Coworker [1:10 PM] Agreed. I’d cry if I lost my dong.

Community_Coworker [1:12 PM] Dong safety is incredibly important. Always protect your dong, and try to keep it hidden so that no one can take it from you!

Ragnar [1:13 PM] definitely don't want any loose dong

Dev_Coworker [1:13 PM] Only share your dong with people you truly care about. Good advice, that.

Community_Coworker [1:14 PM] Yeah, if you go giving your to everyone, you might be able to use your dong yourself!

Dev_Coworker [1:14 PM] Yeah, don’t be too rough with your dong or you might tear it.

��DςX�D*�

Well that escalated quickly and oddly. And doesn’t even make sense.

I’ve missed you Angry Hungarian...

The Angry Hungarian has been absent from my in-box since January. I was actually thinking about him the other day. He just now graced me with this:

“ a faszszopó geci kurva anyátokat!!! ennyi pézért amit összeharácsoltok egy JÓ servert is lehetne üzemeltetni!!!!!!!!!!!!!4 “

“ a fucking cocksucker motherfucker your mother !!! pézért that's what a good összeharácsoltok Server can be operated in four !!!!!!!!!!!!! “

#angryhungarian

What will he sew for us?

I have no idea what he’s on about. There’s no problem with the site, he’s not spent any money with us, but he’s going to sew us. >.>

“ this shit keeps happening im gonna sew u son of a bitches FUCK UR CONNECTION UR BUNCH OF BITCHES!!!! “

No idea, no attached account, isn’t he a peach?

This stuff just makes itself...

I really haven’t done much in this whole situation other than sit back and ban a few accounts. He promised thousands, and I’ve only been provided with a total of 6. Takes me longer to drink a beer than deal with his crap.

So even after demanding we cease all contact with him, he now wants an answer. I’ve pretty much just been ignoring him completely other than banning and removing his stupid racist bullshit.

Here’s his latest emails, in order.

“ Still waiting with baited breath...start enforcing bro, do your job you Daesh pos. “

“ I expect a response you fuckin ISIS supporting scumbags, this doesn't end without one. “

“ So we still trying hard eh, funny I still create accounts, log in, access your site, despite all the bans.Sucks to be a powerless daesh scumbag eh? Sucks that you can't do nothing to stop me, maybe if you change the address of the support team I won't have the address anymore. Maybe you should have changed my name when I was being harassed. Now I shit on your company, show game devs how to cripple your system, etc. And I might go buy some used games at *parent company*, scratch em up, then return them....over, and over, and over, and over, etc. I am somewhat bored...lemme go do that lol fuckin losers you screwed the pooch on this one. “

He’s actually stupid too (I know! shocker!) because he used his facebook linked email address to create at least one account. His name is also pretty unusual and it wasn’t hard to find him thanks to the mighty internet.

He was right on that ban...

And we’re terrorists, which I think is the new Nazis/Hitler

“ Now your scumbag Daesh company has banned me for a week, lmfao now you started something. Maybe now hundreds of accounts, maybe thousands of them become created, wreaking havoc around your terrorist supporting website. There is no end to this now, and my attorneys have been contacted. As for you and your Osama followers, may you burn in hell alongside that pedophile of a prophet you worship. “

Pretty sure I need to send him this since he brought up freedom of speech at one point in his crazy shit ramblings in various places.

https://xkcd.com/1357/

Posted before I could ban...

So he posted one forum post before I put a week ban on his account for being a dickbag asshat.

All the LOL’s

“ I am formally warning your company, as I have done so in email already. I have been harassed by your staff continuously, and I grow extremely tired of it. One look at my profile suggests that, and it has only become worse the more Kongregate insisted on harassing me. I have proof of this in email and screen shot formats, and I will be contacting my attorney. If you think you are above the law you are sadly mistaken, and actions will be taken against you should you not heed this warning to CEASE ANDDESIST all communications, be that harassing ones or otherwise. I will not relay on open forums the extent your company has attempted to harass me, that is for my attorney and your risk management division to discuss. This is simply a formal warning. “

Some of the comments from co-workers were:

“ Our house, our rules. Have a wonderful day! “-- M

“ I hate that this person can probably vote. “-- K

So this guy repeatedly put things like this on his profile wishing death up on us, our children, and the like. Obviously, we didn’t agree and took it down as per our ToS.

Emails like this ensued:

“ It has come to the attention of my staff that you continuously harass me, changing my profile when it isn't warranted, ATTEMPTING to warn me (Like that would ever do any good) over things not due to my own actions. You have refused to alleviate problematic situations, so in summation I am now WARNING YOU that any further communication between *your site*, it's staff, and/or affiliates will result in harsh penalties. I suggest you run away and live to fight another day...your choice champ. “

and (after we took it down again)

“ I suggest you and your company be aware that I demand communication from your scumbag company CEASE IMMEDIATELY, or else legal actioon will be taken against you. It is my American right to say what I want, and to restrict who can say things to me. Fuck your TOS, you are NOT the law. I told you once, this is your LAST warning. “

Please find me a lawyer who will take this case and be like “sure, you totally get how freedom of speech works and that no site can have their own ToS.”

I often get called Hitler while working. It’s unfounded and often just funny. This is completely separate from work and I felt the need to do some design to show what a true modern Hitler looks like.

#trumphitler

Weird shit day...

We’ve gotten some odd emails today.

“ Suck my dick and eat my shit, bastards *sites*'s creators and workers. send ur moms for my dick's service...ehhhhhhh haaaahahahahaha “

and

"Hey. I used to be on this site like 5 years ago but want my account deleted. Please delete it. By the way, Jesus is coming soon! Repent of your sins!"

Not gonna happen...

The guy who sent the email I’m about to share in has been trying to get our Support to steal accounts for him for a while. We finally were like “no, and if you continue we’re going to ban your accounts.” Well, he continued and I banned a bunch of his accounts. He cried for a while, then tried to steal more, got banned some more, and then sent this in:

“ Give Acount 2lilreeky back. Pleased. I promise this email isn't a scam, fucken Ragnar. I dare you to perma ban me bitch “

I actually had permanently banned him before I even got to this particular email. :D

Guess his speech writer is on break...

The things you find...

A lady wrote in about an account made using her email address and asked if we could close it down. No problem, just part of the job. I go to the account and find this:

“ I’m an arsehole who steals other people’s email addresses to play games online. I’m a cunt. “

Makes that even easier to do. :D

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