Journey of a Genderqueer Lolita

[japhers]

Y’ALL I CAN’T GET OVER THIS DRESS

[japhers]

Burando Randos: date your bae rando or get broke trying

[cutecupcakeprince]

[cutecupcakeprince]

[cutecupcakeprince]

[cutecupcakeprince]

[cutecupcakeprince]

[mylittleoddbubble-deactivated20]

Slightly modified Bodyline JSK. Removed waist ties, top bow on bodice and upper row of lace in bodice too. Added a black satin duchesse belt. Blouse also Bodyline, necklace by Angelic Pretty #lolitafashion #eglcommunity #classicallolita #bodyline #classiclolita

[sugarycupcakeprincess]

I really love this dress. I need to find a headbow to match though. #lolita #lolitafashion #coord #bodyline #angelicpretty #sweetlolita

[fuckcupcake]

teapartys <3

[miiiillkandroses]

[bodylineneedsbetterpictures]

[etherealsunrise-deactivated2018]

10.7.14. Another blue dress from my latest order! I thought this dress was pretty plain and short when I first put it on but I actually kinda like that about it! the little details in it are super cute.

Pinkcutenesswonderland

[20dollarlolita]

This is probably the last post I’m going to make about replicas, excluding responding to asks and comments about the issue.

These are just my personal thoughts, and they’re not particularly orderly.

Part 1) Don’t treat anyone differently because of the clothes that they wear. We’ve taken a fashion that was initially about DIY and made it about who spends the most on an outfit, and that’s just messed up.

Part 2) The big lolita brands do SO MUCH to influence our fashion, and we need to keep that in mind while we talk about this. I do not think we should burden those brands by taking away their business.

Part 3) Any argument that something is bad because it’s illegal is something I’m going to ignore. Anyone paying attention to the media these days should be well aware that laws are not accurate indicators of what is right and wrong.

Part 4) The most common argument against replicas (excluding “it’s wrong because it’s illegal,” because see part 3) is that replicas hurt brands because they unfairly take money away from the brand. This is a valid and true statement.

Part 5) Having a single valid argument does not mean that you are right on the overall issue. Having a single valid argument does not mean you’re allowed to ignore everyone else talking about the issue. You can have several valid arguments and still be wrong.

Part 6) Talking over minorities because them talking about their marginalization makes you uncomfortable or disagrees with your point? That’s gross. Don’t do it. This is true even if they’re the social minority in your subculture. Someone says, “I can never buy brand, because…” you stop and listen to them. You don’t blow them off just because you disagree with them or don’t like what they’re saying.

Back to Part 4) If I was never going to spend money on an item, and then I do not spend money on that item, it did not in any way affect the person selling the item.

Part 7) If a company sees a demand for a product, or a variant on their product, and they choose to not fill that demand, money they do not make on a product they do not sell does not financially hurt the company.

For example, I am not hurting Viagra by not purchasing Viagra for Women, because the makers of Viagra do not sell Viagra for Women.

For a second example, a plus-sized woman does not hurt Baby The Stars Shine Bright by not buying their newest release, because Baby’s plus-size lolita collection does not exist.

Back to part 4) it does not hurt a company to not buy a product you were never going to buy.

Part 8) You know that “the customer is always right” bullshit that gets thrown around? Do you want to know what that originally was meant to describe? It’s not a conversation about customer service. It’s the economic theory that, even when it makes no sense, a customer-driven market will always make the right price, the most popular item, a good item to sell.

For example, a few months ago all of the craft stores started selling out of Elmer’s glue like crazy. This was strange and unpredicted. As a result of this sudden demand for glue (for making slime polymer), several companies started making cheap PVA glue that doesn’t hold things together, but does react with borax to make slime. One year ago, there would have been no reason for CrayZart to sell glue that doesn’t glue very well. There was no way to predict the slime craze. However, companies that did not choose to ramp up their glue production and jump on the trend lost potential money, even if the trend made no goshdarn sense. The market moved in an unpredictable way, but it was driven by the customer, and the customer is always right about what is popular and what will make money.

Part 9) If you fail to make money by deciding to not fill a demand, it is not the customer or the market’s fault if the customer goes elsewhere.

Part 4 again) Someone who was never going to buy your product choosing to buy a product that is similar to yours, but not made by you, does not take any money from you.

Part 10) If bootleggers can sell a product in several sizes, and can make money off doing it, the argument of “there’s not enough demand for that,” goes out the window.

Part 4, one last time) You’re can’t hurt a brand by not buying something you were never ever going to buy.

Big part: Replicas only hurt brands when they’re bought by someone who was going to buy the original and decided to get the replica instead.

Big part 2: Buying a replica because the original maker refused to cater to your size or demographic, or because the original is no longer manufactured by the original maker, does not financially hurt the maker.

So, shocking revelation, I do not own any replicas and I will probably never buy one. I think a lot of people people should, in general, not buy them. This isn’t because I think they’re morally wrong, but because I don’t think they’re the most value for your money. If you’re buying a replica, you’re already shopping on a secondhand market or on taobao. If you’re already on taobao, you’re open to all of the indie brands. When you’re buying an original design from an indie brand, you’re not paying for the excitement that comes with sticking the name of a popular print on on it, or the extra cost that went into bootlegging a print.If you like a style or motif, you can find so many pieces inspired by a major brand’s newest release, and usually at a better price than a duplicate of that piece.

However, if there’s a demand in the market, and the original maker is refusing to fill it, and other makers are filling it, the potential money lost on that is really the original maker’s fault. If you have no way to get your dream dress where the money will go to the original maker, you can get your dream dress however you want. I 100% do not think that buying a replica makes you a bad person. I do not think that you should be shunned from a community for buying one. I think it’s largely a matter of personal taste and preference.

If you have an issue with replicas, from a financial viewpoint, buying the originals directly from the brands is the best way to counteract them. Simply not buying replicas and also not buying the original come out economically the same as spontaneously buying a replica.

In fact, if we want to be real about it, it is the responsibility of those who want to fight against replicas to do so buy buying originals. The best way I’ve found to do this is to work with very-small-time makers, for whom every piece they sell counts so much to them. Find people whose whole workshop is one sewing machine and whose entire manufacture force is themselves. Support the heck out of them.

Fun game, decide that ‘it’s against the law" and “it’s morally wrong” aren’t good arguments, and then read reasons why people don’t like replicas, and see if you get annoyed. Actually, it’s not a fun game at all. It’s pretty painful, but it’s enlightening.

[20dollarlolita]

No, y'know, I woke up this morning and realized I missed the most important aspect of this. I ignored the most messed up reason that people have for hating replicas, and it’s a reason that they don’t think is as problematic as it actually is.

So let’s talk about what discrimination is. Dictionary definition is “the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex,” which is helpful, but let’s have a couple examples.

If you create an expectation where a certain group of people have a more difficult time reaching that standard of perfection, it’s discrimination. Even if you make a rule that applies equally to everyone in a group, that rule can be discriminatory.

As a gross example, a delivery truck company in San Francisco had a rule that drivers could not stop the truck to use the bathroom. Instead, they had to relieve themselves in bottles and throw the bottles away when they got back to the garage. This rule was not fair to female truck drivers, who have a much more difficult time peeing in a bottle, due to the configuration of their private parts. The rule applied equally to everyone, but it was not fair to all drivers.

When a company creates their product, they do not create it for every person. They have target audiences. This is normal and it is not inherently bad. Zac Posen sells dresses for $3,000. Zac Posen has decided that people without $3,000 are going to not wear his high fashion line.

If I was to throw a party where only people in Zac Posen were allowed, that rule says that people who do not have $3,000 of flexible income are not allowed at my party. I have now created a party where only a certain economic class are allowed.

Sometimes a company sees a group of people who are not the target audience, but have a desire for their product. Fidget spinners are a good example of this. They were made for people with mental illnesses, but the mainstream society took hold of them and ran with it. If the makers of fidget spinners had chosen to only market their product through doctor’s offices, they would have sent a message to the market that they do not want neurotyps to use their product.

If this was the way fidget spinners were marketed, and I made a school where only people with fidget spinners were allowed in class, I would have made a school where only neuroatypical people were allowed.

When a company makes a choice to exclude part of the market, and you chose to honor their decision and say that the refusal is the correct way for things to be, you are making the personal choice to discriminate against the people the company excluded.

Tl;dr there is if a company is discriminatory, and you create a subculture where that company’s decision to discriminate is upheld as the correct way to be, you have created a subculture that actively discriminates against the group of people that the company chose to discriminate against.

So, moving on, it is not your business AT ALL to say what someone should or shouldn’t wear based on what “looks good,” unless they SPECIFICALLY ask you for advice. You think lolita looks bad on fat people? Too bad, that’s not your business. You think cheaper-made lolita looks bad on everyone? Too bad, that’s not your business.

Creating a social standard where it is more difficult for certain groups of people to reach a state of acceptability? That’s discrimination.

This is why, when you’re arguing about replicas, it is EXTREMELY important to be careful with your words. You need to think it through. You need to say, okay, so the companies that we follow intentionally alienate certain groups of people who don’t fit their mental picture of what a lolita should be. Am I about to say something that indicates that this is the way it should be?

You need to say, okay, why do people buy replicas? What groups of people are likely to buy replicas? Why are they doing that? What are they unable to get through legitimate means, so that they have to turn to copies of the original? Is there a common element in this group?

You need to say, okay, am I trying to police someone else’s body, when it’s none of my damn business? Is my argument for not buying replicas that, “some people should lose weight so they can fit into original pieces”? Is it unfair to say that someone should change their body to fit into clothing, and is it unfair for me to say that when I’ve never had to change MY body to fit into the same genre of clothing?

You need to say, okay, is it fair for me to tell someone to save up for a dress when it’ll take me two months to save up for the release, and it will take them 25 months to save the same amount of money? Is it fair for me to through around the phrase “save up for it!” when I clearly don’t have to understand how it feels to save up for something big?

tl;dr I fit into most brand dresses. If you’re in the same category as me, and someone says they buy replicas because brands don’t make their size*, don’t argue. This is not an issue that standard-size people have an internal knowledge of or understanding. We do not live a lolita life where we know how it feels to have big companies say they don’t want our business based on our size.

tl;dr #3 Unless you have lived in a situation where you can only set aside $15-$40/month to save for fun things, and lived in that situation for an extended time, you do not get to argue with someone who says, “I’ll never have enough money for brand-named lolita.” If you’ve never lived in a situation where overspending by $100 means you have to sacrifice food, rent, heat and water, medicine, gas for your car, care for your pets or family, or another basic necessity, you do not get to argue with someone who says, “I can’t afford it.”

BUT 20$Lol, WHAT IF THEY DO HAVE THE MONEY AND THEY’RE JUST IRRESPONSIBLE?! Cool! That’s still not your business!

BUT WHAT IF THEY HAVE TWO HOBBIES AND THEY COULD BUY BRAND IF THEY GIVE UP ONE OF THE HOBBIES?

That’s cool. And not your business. People are allowed to have more than one hobby.

Listen up, people with privilege, and this is especially going out to white people like me, double especially affluent white people like the family I grew up in. We as a group are REALLY bad about forgetting this: it’s not our job to police minorities. It’s not our job to make sure minorities are following the rules. It’s not our job to make rules to “encourage them to change,” or “encourage good ethics” or anything like that. What you’re doing when you make rules like that is discrimination.

Let’s get real: we, adults, have based a community on dressing up like the young girls in pre-revolutionary France did. It’s silly. It’s amazing and fun and fulfilling and silly. We’re not here to argue if someone’s stretching out their socks. We’re not here to judge people who don’t have enough money. We’re here to share pretty dresses and share the feeling we get when you’ve dressed up nice and someone tells you that you look good. We’re not here to decide that we’re better than other people. We’re not here to decide that someone’s irresponsible or unhealthy**, and we’re not here to try to improve someone’s life or teach them how to save. Keep your focus on breaking down rules that exclude people. Keep your focus on listening to people who say something’s not fair, instead of writing them off. Keep your focus on the dresses, keep your focus on being kind, and keep your focus on bringing everyone up and bringing lolita to everyone.

__

*think about how messed up of a phrase “don’t fit into brand” is. It implies that brand clothes are the correct size, and the human is in the wrong.

**FAT DOES NOT MEAN UNHEALTHY. SKINNY DOES NOT MEAN HEALTHY. STOP SAYING THAT.

[20dollarlolita]

Convention Lolita

ldoLabor Day is coming up, which means anime cons for a lot of us! We’ve talked about Halloween politeness already, and all of that applies to conventions, too. Don’t insult other people, even behind their backs, don’t touch anyone or their clothing without asking AND getting consent, don’t cosplay the Apache Tracker. General con tips of bring safety pins and shoe insoles and peanut butter crackers, bring a blanket or a towel if you’re planning on sitting on the grass, put your money somewhere safe and don’t photograph an artist’s work without buying it. Don’t be mean.

And now: cosplay lolita vs themed lolita, and how top keep your themed lolita from being cosplay lolita.

FIRST: If you want to wear cosplay lolita, go for it. If you see someone wearing cosplay lolita or wearing something that’s flat not lolita and calling it lolita, or who has a good coord except for awful shoes or has extensive cleavage or is wearing a replica that looks awful or is something that you object to for any reason, do not give critique to someone who has not asked for it. I’m serious about this. Don’t. Don’t say, “Hey, can I offer you some advice?”, because that’s really hard for the person you’re talking to to turn down. If someone likes their outfit, it does not matter at all how you feel about it.

Unless it’s racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or hurting someone in some other way.

But if it’s just a cosplay, even if they’re calling it lolita, or it’s just an outfit that isn’t lolita but is being called lolita, remember that you aren’t the lolita fashion police and it’s not your responsibility to make other people look better or look more like your idea of acceptable.

Every lolita starts somewhere. For example, 2007 me thought this was lolita:

(And I made this. And I wore this. With ears, and a tail, and no boning in the lace-up midriff. And I called it lolita. We all start somewhere)

Remember that no one’s bad lolita or cosplay lolita is going to make you look bad. No one’s bad lolita or lolita cosplay or milanoo purchase is a reflection on you. No one’s failure to comply with your standards is in any way your responsibility. Someone using the word “lolita” does not give you authority to police their actions.

Cosplay lolita, at an anime convention, is not a bad thing. Things that stop you from having fun (well, safe fun) at an anime convention are bad things. Don’t be a bad thing.

Convention politeness and basic decency out of the way:

What is cosplay lolita?

“Cosplay lolita,” or “lolita cosplay,” are phrases that get a lot of negative use from the lolita community, because we’re a bunch of bitches. Usually, “cosplay lolita,” is used to describe an outfit that the wearer thinks is lolita, but didn’t get any accurate research on. Oftentimes, it is made of inexpensive materials that aren’t usually acceptable in lolita, has the wrong shape, and is sometimes built with the intention of being a costume (think Misa from Death Note or lolita pokemon gijinkas). The term “cosplay lolita,” is also kind of rude to cosplayers, who put sometimes hundreds of dollars and months of work into making a quality cosplay. The term “cosplay lolita” predates 2007, though, and back in 2007 wigs came in 10 colors and weren’t heat resistant and took a month to be shipped to you, and a lot of us were still figuring out that color spray on your hair didn’t look good and that thin costume satin wasn’t the best choice for everything and that spanx and dance belts are really important for bodysuit wearers. A lot of the reason why cosplay’s been taken to the level it’s at now is that many cosplayers have 10-20 years of experience now. The name might be wrong, and I don’t want “cosplay lolita” to forever mean to “bad lolita,” and I don’t want to defend that usage, but I did want to give context to where the name comes from. (Not that everyone who cosplayed in 2007 was bad. There were just next to no resources for 13-year-olds who were figuring out all this on their own.

We’re not going to use “cosplay lolita” to describe bad lolita here. We’re just going to talk about cosplay-themed lolita.

What is Cosplay Lolita

There’s a lot of small differences between cosplay lolita and themed lolita, but to sum it up in a sentence, cosplay lolita is trying to look like a single character, and themed lolita is trying to express the idea of a fandom or work of fiction.

We’re going to use The Legend of Zelda, because I have been catching up on the ZSR Marathon 2012 and it’s on my mind:

So here’s our Link cosplay lolita. I’m actually super happy with this design

While we have a (somewhat) lolita shape here, cosplay lolita sacrifices adherence to the lolita standards in favor of looking more like a character. This is not inherently wrong, don’t forget that.

You’ve got costume elements, like the ear tips and the sword (IDK what’s holding her sword on, BTW. Got to be the same magic that holds onto it in Wind Waker and OoT 2D) and the hat. You’ve got elements that are definitely not common in lolita, but not inherently wrong, like the tall boots (which are common in some styles). You’ve also got elements that are pretty much not lolita, like the short sleeve (with no cuffs or gathering) button-down shirt and the belt over the JSK. The whole outfit is a bit too plain for most lolita.

However, while I wouldn’t wear this out or to a lolita meetup, I absolutely would wear this to a convention as a lolita-themed cosplay. Convention lolita or cosplay lolita follows its own confused ruleset about how much costume to be and how much lolita to be. Remember that, when you see a lolita cosplay, that there’s a lot of design and thought into transitioning a character into a different style. Just because it’s not your taste, it doesn’t mean it’s not of quality or lacking design and thought. Certain costume concepts are very difficult to pull off as lolita cosplays (Chell from Portal comes to mind) and you don’t get to shit talk them just because you disagree with the entire genre of cosplay lolita.

So, now, themed lolita.

What is themed lolita?

If cosplay lolita is a cosplay outfit that tries to keep a lolita look while cosplaying a character, themed lolita is trying to keep the idea of a fandom or character or idea present in your coord without sacrificing lolita standards.

Or, cosplay lolita: it’s okay to make it less lolita if that makes me more like my character. Themed lolita: It’s okay to look less like the character if it means staying in line with mainstream lolita.

Or cosplay lolita: costume Themed lolita: clothing.

In my opinion, the real test is this: If you can take the individual pieces of your lolita coord and use them in other lolita coords, it’s themed lolita and not cosplay lolita.

Themed lolita is not better than cosplay lolita. Which you like better is a matter of personal taste. Insisting that other people conform to your personal preferences just because that’s “how you feel” is not fair.

Man, I get so tired people making of that argument. Don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.

There’s lots of kinds of themed lolita, and some of them are their own substyles (like guro). What I‘m talking about here is fandom themed lolita, though the guidelines follow for most themed lolita.

Fandom themed lolita is trickier to pull off, because if you get too dedicated to too small of a segment of the source material, you can end up making cosplay lolita when you weren’t trying to.

So, here we go, my take on Zelda themed lolita. It doesn’t look like a specific character, but it keeps the color scheme and symbols associated with the game. Obviously some of this changes depending on what kind of concept art you’re going off of (Original LoZ and ZeldaII are a lot more brown than Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask, which are less candy-green than Wind Waker and Skyward Sword, but we aren’t here to talk about Zelda!). It would be easy to also do a Zelda coord that isn’t brown themed.

Easy stuff to do when you’re doing a fandom theme:

Print: If you can find or pirate a themed printed fabric, or paint your own, border prints are an easy way to add the theme into your coord. When you take a th Be aware: Color scheme, size, and orientation of your pattern matter a lot! Just because it’s fandom themed, doesn’t mean you should try to use it in your coord. Take a step back and ask if it’s too busy or big, or if a lot of it is upside-down no matter what way you turn it. Some busy prints work great as narrow borders, but wouldn’t look great if you made it into a blouse. Don’t use a fabric that doesn’t work just because it’s your fandom. That said, don’t be afraid to alter your design so you can use a fabric you like.

Jewelry: Jewlery and small details. Little things like necklaces and bracelets and charms can keep little fandom details spread around the whole coord, which gives it a consistent fandom presence.

Color patterns that are similar to ones from your canon: Link has a 3-point belt holding his sword on (well, on concept art, and some games, and were added to the 3DS remakes). To keep that image, I went with a brown underbust corset and a purse with a wide, brown strap. I could have kept this theme going much better with a green blouse, but eh, hindsight.

I don’t know what fandom all ye hip youngsters are into these days, but if you’re going to do a coord based off Merlin:

Finding a way to get the red and blue and brown roughly where the red and blue and brown are in this well-known promotional shot will really help your coord remind people of the series. I’d probably start to try to pull that off with a blue JSK over a brown long sleeve blouse (to get blue on torso and brown on sleeves. This is an easy way to translate an open jacket to a lolita coord). I’d probably do his scarf as a jabot or a neck bow, depending on the coord style. Which leads us to…

Finding a similar substyle to your source material: Some are obvious. Walking Dead? Guro lolita. Supernatural? Gothic lolita. Jasprosesprite^2? OTT Sweet with extra confetti. Back to Zelda, some of the games have steampunk elements (Skyward Sword has timestop blocks, Phantom Hourglass has a steam-powered boat, Spirit Tracks has trains, trains, and nothing but trains.) so you can draw inspiration from steampunk lolita. Sometime it’s not easy. Some fandoms or elements of fandoms probably should feel like their own style, or a mix of the two. You can go about 10 directions with Adventure Time.  Gravity Falls makes me want to invent Lumberjack Lolita and combine it with the 1950′s. Dude, That’s My Ghost both feels like it should have a Punk lolita aspect of it, but it also feels like confining it to lolita punk just because it’s sort of about music isn’t representative of the actual content of the show.

Whatever substyle makes you think of the show, it’s a good place to start. You don’t need to use it as a template and then tack other ideas on, but you can use it for inspiration

.

This got long and unorganized, so I’m just going to remind everyone really fast before I let y’all go:

Don’t shit on someone’s outfit. Don’t give them “nice helpful advice” unless a) they ask for it, b) they’re hurting someone, or c) you’ve been friends with them for a while and you know they’d appreciate it. Never forget that just because someone “got lolita wrong,” it’s not reflecting on you, and just because someone called it lolita, you aren’t suddenly given the right to tell them where their outfit is wrong. You are more than welcome to tell someone that their shoes are perfect, that you love their hair, or that you love how much work they put into their look. You don’t even need to add “looks good for something handmade,” or “Looks really good considering thatyou’re a beginner.” “You look really good,” is a complete sentence.

If someone is interested in lolita, it is your responsibility to make sure that you do not make them uninterested. Do not kill anyone’s joy. Do not kill anyone’s inspiration. We all started somewhere. We all had a bad coord in our early years. Let the new lolita kiddos (of all ages) have their fun. Let the positive reactions they get in their early coords inspire them to make more, to research more, and to find a hobby they love.

If you have the world’s best coord and you’re mean to lolitas you think are below you or too new or too bad at lolita to be encouraging to them, congrats, You might look pretty but you’re still an asshole.

[f1ypup4f1y]

Tutorial: Cupcake Petticoat by Blueagainlikemorning

This is a tutorial for making a bell/ cupcake petticoat, commonly found in lolita fashion.

*a quick suggestion: I lose things all. the. time.  So to keep track of my sewing tools, I keep them in a little bin like so:

anything that belongs in the box, goes immediately back inside the box when I’m done with it.

Now, on to the tutorial!

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