Foolish Plans
Could you do it? It’s worth a try, isn’t it? But so many things are against you.
You were thinking about a way to escape while lying there.
You have no money, cell phone, wallet, or passport. You agreed that Daddy would take all of it when you stepped into his house. It was a condition you had to agree to if you wanted to experience what he promised. So even if you escaped, you cannot get anywhere or contact someone. Sometimes Daddy likes to hand you a toy shaped like a phone, then he holds one to his ear and tries to speak with you. Most times you answer and blubber into the toy in your hand.
You have no adult clothes. Daddy took the small trolley you brought and the rest of your stuff. The adult clothes you had on, he forced you to cut them all while you sat on his knees, naked. Now you are dressed only in big baby’s clothes. You know where the onesies, shortalls, and playsuits are, but you don’t have a clue where you could find a decent adult’s pieces. It’s cold outside, would you go out in your long-sleeved onesie? Daddy likes to put you in the most babyish baby-printed clothes. He’s holding your arm up, points at a certain animal, and tells you a story about it. You sit and listen.
You can’t hold it anymore. For some reason you can’t hold it anymore, number 1 and number 2. You just go in your diaper, sometimes even when you are not noticing. By now you need your diapers, and sometimes even relieved you’re wearing one. It’s easier just to let go. Even if you walk out, you can’t just take off the diaper and go naked, you’ll make a mess. Daddy likes to flip you over the changing mat and pat your thick diaper bum. You’re sure he enjoys the thumping sound of the thickness.
You are nowhere and don’t know the language. Daddy took you from the airport after you agreed to his terms online and when you met him for a coffee in a restaurant next to the airport. The drive was long and you fell asleep. When you woke up before arriving at his house, you drove for at least an hour in a thick forest. After a month of regression treatment, while playing in your playpen, Daddy greeted his old friends inside. You just sat there, blushing. You couldn’t understand one word, you don’t know their language. At some point, one of Daddy’s bearish friends came to play with you and your toys. He spoke to you like any adult would speak with a toddler, but you felt that way completely because you couldn’t understand him at all. You tried to say something to him but for him, it was like a baby was speaking to him.
You were so upset that you started to sob. You were lying in your crib after Daddy put you to sleep. Your plans were so foolish, they would never work. Why did you agree to it? You thought it would be only a week, and by now you can’t tell how much time has passed. Your cries went through the baby monitor.
Daddy opened the door slowly and spoke in the foreign language. You don’t understand it, but you do recognize a few words. You thought he said the words ‘baby’ and ‘sleep’, then he caressed your face. His touch was so warm and loving. It made you feel a bit better. Then he said the word for ‘pacifier’ and you automatically opened your mouth, because up until that point you didn’t want to suck on it, although you were frustrated and wanted to. Now when you were nursing on it while Daddy was caressing your cheeks, you calmed down. He spoke to you in such a calming tone, that you were less scared and upset. You felt peace again. He gently grabbed the front of your diaper, and you felt wetness and warmth, which grounded you to the situation.
Daddy turned on the mobile above you and left the room quietly. Maybe it’s not as bad as you thought. You were sucking on your pacifier rhythmically, drifting on to sleep in your nursery.
“Just one more night, then I’ll think of a plan” was your last thought before the lullaby put you to sleep.
