Untitled

[percussionhearts]

We walk past each other with our heads tilted down, and I shrug when I hear your name to pretend like you don’t matter to me anymore. But truth is, pretending is so hard. It’s like we never knew each other at all. But I know so much about you, from your favourite colour to the names of your childhood teddy bears, from the things that make you tick to the things you think about before you fall asleep – and I see all of these things I know when I look at you. I look at you and I see all the days we spent talking about the silliest things and I see all the nights we stayed up talking about the saddest things. I know you like the back of my hand, but I pass you by like you were any other stranger. But sometimes I catch you looking at me too, and I see that you see it too. You look at me like you’re holding a secret in your eyes - a secret no one knows but you and me. It’s a look that makes a sound in my chest, like whispering, “you know me, I know you. Who are we kidding?” It’s as though behind all the fake indifference, there’s just a tiny hint of pride that we got the chance to explore each other. So we may have never let our love grow and we may never really talk again, but at least you and me both know that once, we had it all.

n.h.s [percussionhearts] (via percussionhearts)

[untamedunwanted]

Excerpts from Your Soul in a River 

'Just for a while, stop looking behind you. This is going to be really difficult but you have to try with everything you have got, to stop looking behind you. And there will come a day, you beautiful, brave soul, when you will tell someone the truth about you, your whole tale, and not a half truth that you have had to give the world. You know the one. The story you made up for the world to hear because it was too weak to handle what had really happened to you. But one day, you will tell your truth and it will no longer bring tears to your eyes for your recovery has begun. Instead, you will tell it with the kind of strength that will bring tears to other people’s eyes.

So please, stop looking behind you, my darling. You aren’t going in that direction, you are going the opposite way.’

[azalealy-deactivated20150526]

“it’s been a month and i still cry myself to sleep every night. i miss you and i need you here. you promised you wouldn’t hurt me. why did you go? you say you lost feelings and i just lost myself. it’s been two months and i no longer cry myself to sleep. but you never leave my mind. i wonder what you’re doing right now. texting her like you used to text me? calling her beautiful? holding her? i miss you. please love me again. it’s been three months and i’m starting to lose the ghost of your arms around me. i heard that you’re getting along fine. but i wish i didn’t hear that. how are you fine when i feel like drowning? i am miserable and you should be too. it’s been four months and today, i saw you for the first time since you left. you look happy. you look different. and you saw right through me, like we never even knew each other at all. i hurt myself that night — it’s better than the pain you give me. it’s been five months and i think about you less though i cry more. i am still in love with you but i think you know that (( you don’t care, i’m sure.)) people still talk about us and it makes me sad. i don’t want to hear your name anymore. it’s been six months and i haven’t spoken of you since month five. that’s progress. no one mentions you because they see the pain in my eyes when they do. how are getting along? i miss you. it’s been seven months and things have changed with me. i claim to hate you with every fiber in my body, but i actually just hate that you don’t want me back. have you heard about what i pretend to feel about you now? i hope. maybe you will fix things then. it’s been eight months but last night i broke down crying. i don’t hate you. i could never. i don’t love you and that feels weird to say, like i’m breaking a promise. but i miss you. do you miss me? probably not. i hope you’re doing well. it’s been nine months and i heard about your new girlfriend. i hope you are happy. i just want you to be happy. i am getting there too. however i still miss you. i keep lying to myself by saying i don’t love you. i’ve always kept promises. it’s been ten months and when we passed each other in the halls today, we smiled. i think we would make good friends, if only you wanted to talk to me. i think about you a lot. i hope you are happy with your girlfriend. it’s been eleven months but for the most part, i’ve stopped keeping track. i have healed. i have survived what death feels like and i am strong now. i feel happy for once. i hear you are happy though i never see you. i still love you but i no longer feel pain. it’s been twelve months. today you texted me and asked how i’ve been. and there’s so much i could say but instead i just respond “i am happy. are you happy?” and you said “yes.””

it’s time to stop counting the months // azalealy (via azalealy)

:-)

[the-art-of-being-a-failure]

Sitting on my bed pondering my thoughts, i find myself wondering why i tried so hard to make things peaceful. Why i tried so hard to continue to support you. Why i tried so hard to be positive. Now i see that my only error was not looking at everything in a realistic sense. At the time, i guess i...

[inkstained-nostalgia]

I will say one thing, the least I can do is try. I will hold on to that moment with every fibre of my being, with every ounce of my will I will grasp. So that at the end of my days, whenever that may be, I can still look back and think I remember that day I remember you and your smile and I remember feeling okay for once like nothing was the matter For a second, life felt as close to perfection as it had for me in a very long time and if there is time afterwards when I am long gone and all that’s left of me is my name in stone if I can think any thoughts I will remember still.

for the time we felt alive (via inkstained-nostalgia)

[1111111111111fdfdfjhj]

Your past cannot be forgotten to move on, it must be accepted. Without that, you are bound to make the same mistakes over and over again. So when I hear people say “forget the past and move on,” I am not sure if they grasp the concept on what it entails. You cannot forget what a lesson taught you, so why forget the past that created it? You must accept the past, learn from your mistakes and let change have a positive impact, because without change; you cannot make a new future. Think about what you have learned. Maybe you have to re-visit the past sometimes to remind yourself how far you have come or to remind yourself that you haven’t gotten very far at all. Maybe it’s there for a reason. So now it is up to you to accept the past and make that change so you can move forward. So what are you going to do with your past now that you know what it entails? Are you still going to forget it or are you going to learn, accept and allow the possibility of change enter your life? You have the choice - you can move on to bigger and better things in your life or allow the past to keep you grounded. What do you choose?

- Joanna Strafford  (via joannas-writing-page)

[caramelcoatedxxxtacy]

Don’t.Don’t burn the pictures.Don’t rip the handwritten love letters up.Don’t destroy the memories that made you the happiest; because time heals but also brings regret.Because you can’t go back & you’ll never have another 1st love. Years will pass & you won’t remember the color of his eyes in detail quite like you did. And it’s going to break you down because you’ll find yourself in bed at 2:10 in the morning trying to remember the way his lips curved when he smiled but it’s been too long & all the pictures you have with him are gone.. And you’ll start to think that maybe you shouldn’t have been so fucking impulsive.Put everything in a box & only open it after you’ve moved on & want to revisit a time that was filled with genuine love & innocence. Because despite what you’ve been told, you can let go without forgetting.It’s okay to trace the poems he wrote you in cursive with your fingertips, remembering what it was like the first time you laid eyes on him.It’s okay to smile at the pictures of you two kissing; after all, his lips were the ones to show you how it was done-it’s okay if your eyes well up because you can still feel him holding your shaking hands. It’s okay if you laugh at the promise of forever that two kids made because even though it was too big of a promise at that age, it was admirable.It’s okay to close that box & put it back under your bed or in the back of your closet to collect dust for another 6 months while you live & fall in love again & again.You will always remember him, with or without the pictures but having them makes it alot easier when you’re no longer a kid & you’ve loved a handful of men after him & the color of their eyes are mixing in with his & all you want is to be sure.When all you want is to remember a time where love was him walking you home from school & kissing you on the cheek. When love didn’t mean doing drugs or getting undressed.

I wish I could remember the exact color of his eyes & what it felt like to be pure again. (via caramelcoatedxxxtacy)

🙏💘

[nicethingsinuglyhandwriting]

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realise that the situation is over, you cannot move forward // Steve Maraboli.

[caramelcoatedxxxtacy]

You light me up like a cigarette on a cold day & I burn for you, even if it’s just for a few minutes because I’d rather feel your lips on me briefly than not at all. And you’ll disappear again & I’ll watch the seasons change while I wait for your call. I’m patient because I know that you’re the one but while I’m waiting, I’m taking shots until my body is numb because I know that you’re not as sure.. And that’s why you’re with her half the time & with me the rest; Often I make poetry out of this confusion but really, there’s nothing beautiful about being second best.

All you’ll ever be good for is temporary happiness & I need more. (via caramelcoatedxxxtacy)

[fixx-me-pleasee]

One day, I hope it was all worth it. I hope one day you’re laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything between us. But then you’re reminded that I’ve moved on, and it hurts you. I hope you look through my pictures and remember how it felt to hear my laugh, feel my touch, to kiss my lips, to hold me. And I hope you resent it for days after days, I hope it hurts so bad that you don’t even want to move. I want you to feel the pain I was in when you told me you didn’t love me anymore. That my love wasn’t enough for you. But in a couple months, I can’t wait for you to realize it was enough. And when you do, remember you lost me.

via fixx-me-pleasee (via fixx-me-pleasee)

[moonlyaffairs]

I know how it hurts. You can’t pull yourself off the bathroom floor. Because when you do You must open the door And step back into a world Where no one see’s your sorrow. You don’t cry in front of your friends. When they ask you about him You smile and shake your head “He’s not even worth my time”. He was worth every single minute. You miss the scent of his skin. You miss the way he would look at you. You miss how the word “babe” rolled off his lips. "You’ll find better" They all say. But it’s six months later and “better” has come along You ask your bestfriend When it will all stop hurting. She tells you to stop looking for him In every one you meet. She’ll tell you To delete every trace in which he exists. She’ll tell you to stop hurting And to start healing. You listen to her. And begin to heal soon.

Zienab Hamdan - Withdrawals

(Dedicated to a ray of sunshine who deserves to be happy)

[bikinibody-beautifulsoul]

1. Pain comes in waves, you’ll go days thinking you have beaten it and can finally move on, but the pain comes back it’s ok to succumb to the sadness sometimes just make sure you get back up and try again tomorrow. 2. If he really liked you more than those other girls he would of stayed and he would of fought for you even when you pushed him away, you deserve better, always remember that my love. 3. You and only you determine your self worth look in the mirror every day and tell yourself your a freaking goddess and I promise one day you will believe those words and nothing is more intimidating than a girl who doesn’t need boys to tell her she’s pretty. 4. Smart is good, but no letter on a piece of paper is ever worth losing your mental health over. 5. It’s ok to ask for help, even the best fall down sometimes. Therapy is not for the weak it’s for those who want to be strong once more.

2014 was a bad year but it taught me a lot (via bikinibody-beautifulsoul)

[-infinite-love-]

[emilyjk1515]

He broke up with you, right? After telling you he loved you & called you names like “baby” & “cutie”. Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fake, low ego. Did he tell you that you were beautiful? I bet he’d always mention how he was lying in bed, wishing you were there. He dragged the first “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it. He would talk to you last at night and first thing in the mornings. He constantly mentioned losing sleep over you every night, but we both know he slept like a rock. All of your friends hate him now, don’t they? Remember how happy they were for you? Some even warned you. Just remember, it’s okay to cry, and referring to him as a “douche” is perfectly expected because trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more than before. You’ll compare every guy to him because aside from the bullshit he put you though, to you: he was perfect. He was all you ever wanted, or maybe you made that up. Maybe the second he started to show interest, you made up this perfect guy in your head and he just happened to be him. Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everyone says you will and it will be sooner than you think. You might not believe me, but you should start, because love ALWAYS finds its way back to people. The most important thing, though, is that you don’t let him know that he hurt you. Don’t let him know that he could have you back in a heartbeat because then, he’ll keep you around as an option. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Make him think you’re completely happy when he decides to talk to you like nothing ever happened. Talk to him, maybe, but make him think he meant as little as you obviously meant to him. & Don’t forget to smile.

Ways to move on (via emilyjk1515)

[cutetruths]

You text me & expect me to act like nothing happened. Like you never broke my heart, used me repetitively. I can't act like just your friend..

[feelflows1994-deactivated201812]

The first stage is wet. It is wet because you are crying, because you cannot even watch someone break bread with their hands without being reminded of how his rough fingers felt against your skin. You will turn off your phone. You will skip the classes he is in because even seeing his face is enough to reduce you to shakes and sobs. You will close the door to everyone but him, hoping he will come home soon. He will not. It is okay to not know this yet. It is okay to cry, to feel loneliness hitting you like a freight train in the morning when the first thing you think of is his loss. You will pretend to be his friend, pretend to laugh over a drink, but remember, you are the only one who has lost him now. His friends still have him. The world still has him. This is your struggle. And it is okay to fight it with tears on your throat. It does not make you weak. The second stage is the opposite of wet. The second stage is dry. Asshole bastard motherfucking son of a bitch the second stage is angry. You will want him dead. You will want him out of sight. You will try your hardest to avoid him, and not only because you think it is better for you. It will be because you think it is better for him, better that you don’t get your hands on him. You will call your friends and tell them about his gross indifference. His nonchalance towards what you had. His dismissal of the meaning behind your love. His casualness towards the touch of your hands now. When your arm brushes his, and he does not burn, you will burn instead. The third stage is not yours. The third stage is hers, and therefore, the third stage is empty. This boy built to rage inside you, with his aeroplane body that felt like wings, is now someone else’s and you must come to terms with watching him with her, so soon after he left the heart you gave him so willingly. You will smile at her. You will be nice to her. You will feel that he does not deserve her, that he could do better, but you will not. It is not her burden to bear, this anger, this bitterness, this hollowness inside your soul. It is his. The fourth stage is gentle. It is unnoticed, a cat curled up in the corner of an empty door, and it comes along exactly when you need it. It is the stage of watching rainfall without memories of tears, of listening to songs that were once ruined because of his voice holding the notes to your ear, of looking at him without the sun burning your retinas, of waking up to promises to be made instead of ones that were broken. It is the stage of healing and so you will not notice it, you will not see your wounds scabbing over, but they will. It is the stage of patience. And it is what you have been waiting for without knowing it yourself. The fifth stage is yours.

"The stages of moving on" - S.S (via unshakensoftness)

[deadgirlsart-deactivated2015050]

Let him go. Let him go right now because he does not love you and you know it. It’s not worth chasing after a man who has never chased after you. It’s not worth giving your whole self away to a man who never even gave you the hands you used to hold. He’s gone. He’s gone and it’s okay to let him go. You are worth so much more than empty promises and drunken returns. You are worth infinities that he will never know and oceans that would swallow him whole. Wash your sheets; they smell like him. Wash your hair and your skin until his fingerprints have vanished. Tell yourself every moment you miss him that he doesn’t miss you. That he let you go. Give away one last sigh, and then let him go too.

he’s not coming back, so stop waiting for him. (via thewearydeer)