Happiness

[niimph]

“Please, consider me a dream.”

— Franz Kafka

[cvanillaa]

I told him he can’t keep doing this to me. I pray about him and his family all the time. I hope he stops coming back into my life if he doesn’t want to be permanent... doesn’t matter if it’s only being my friend or being my man. I love him and he still means so much to me. But it messes with my head how he comes and goes... I’ll keep praying. Praying that God will give him an honest, genuine heart. That he won’t be cruel, that he’ll leave me alone forever if it’s not meant to be. Still hoping it’ll be me and him in the end. Is that crazy? Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to spend more time with him, as unexpected as it was. The future is unclear but I’m happy knowing I have God on my side.

[cvanillaa]

You’re entitled to your feelings but just know it doesn’t have any affect on me. So instead of feeling salty, focus on your own happiness.

[quotemadness]

“If I let go of the feelings which cause me pain, I would have no feelings at all.”

— Dan Goodman

[quotemadness]

“I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings.”

— Gandhi

[cvanillaa]

It still kills me on the inside to think of you and how much I wanted things to work out with you. But I remind myself of why I left you and how I’m surrounded by so much love now. I think it’s an equal tradeoff but I wish I never had to trade anything. I wish for you back. Or maybe just someone like you but more suitable for me. I’m just sad yet happy most times. I still love you, I guess. Distantly loving you. Kind of forgetting you.

[urbanthropologie]

ways to start feeling again

sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you

walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass

sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale

drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out

stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses

eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all

look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself

[kinomatika]

ok this is actually cool bc doing all of this is a technique called “mindful thinking” that is extremely useful for people with anxiety disorders and dissociation disorders and stuff!

[maupin]

“We don’t give other people credit for the same interior complexity we take for granted in ourselves, the same capacity for holding contradictory feelings in balance, for complexly alloyed affections, for bottomless generosity of heart and petty, capricious malice. We can’t believe that anyone could be unkind to us and still be genuinely fond of us, although we do it all the time. Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

— Tim Kreider, I Know What You Think of Me (via audeas)

[theonlybkaye-deactivated2024022]

im still healing bitch

[thegoodvybe]

[cvanillaa]

I still love him so much

But I have no hope for us. This is the end. Circumstances change who we are. Been talking to other guys too. They're nice. Dating is whatever. Fuck.

[cvanillaa]

He came back to me... doesn't change anything. Sometimes I wish we never happened

[officialdiagnosis]

someone: you forgot to eat? how?? aren’t you starving?

me: I don’t know I can’t feel anything

[hplyrikz]

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”

— Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran (via hplyrikz)

[cvanillaa]

Trying to learn Spanish and Korean with all my newfound free time.

God, why do I miss him so much? He's not the one for me, I know. It was all a big mistake and I ignored the red flags. I deserve this pain. My heart. Hurts.

[agoodfeelingis]

a good feeling is letting go

[purplebuddhaquotes]

One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that your presence and absence both mean something to someone.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)