Suck it Blue!

|| Rp account for Simmons from Red vs Blue by Rooster Teeth || Semi Selective || OC friendly || Mun is 18+ || Written by ardentshark aka Sharky ||

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Wait, no. If Simmons helped, that would definitely mean that he’d see the faces painted on the volleyballs. 

“Wait, what? You’re going to lie to Sarge?” Grif got up real close to him and looked at Simmons. “You sure that you didnt get replaced by that Gene guy when I wasnt looking? Because that really didnt sound like a normal Simmons thing.”

Rolling his eyes he sighed. Just the name Gene annoyed Simmons.  “I don’t always have to do what he says.” He was trying to get better at not kissing up to Sarge quite so much. He had made some improvements but he still needed some work.  “I am making an active effort but if you want I can call him right now.”

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

I would eat a grenade over an MRE. I did eat a grenade instead of an MRE. By the way, they do not taste like pineapples.

I- No. you know what? Just no. I don’t know what else I would have expected from you to be honest.

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

To be honest, I never really knew why anyone would eat them to begin with. They’re way grosser than ass at any point.

That coming from you really makes MREs sound unappealing. I didn’t think there was a food besides tofu that you disliked more than ass.

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Your face is really gay. 

Also, technically we’re eating ass every time we have those MREs.

Wow.. That’s really all you had there? Gross! Now that you put it like that it sounds disgusting. I’m never eating an MRE ever again.

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

   Thankfully, Grif’s blush from Simmons’ sappy words was hidden by the amused flush from tickling Simmons. He was nice and only kept it up for a second or two more. “If you insist. Nerd.”

He’d forgotten about the volleyballs until Grif pulled away and saw Caboose’s face peeking up from just behind Simmons. “So uh. I’ll just be cleaning up all this shit, and then we can do… whatever it is you came looking for me for. Something for Sarge, I’d guess.”

Simmons squirmed and tried to deflect the offending hands that tickled him to little prevail. Once Grif stopped he took a deep, relieved, breath.  “Well at least let me help you then.” He then paused for a minute. Oh crap what was it he had come to get Grif for? Sarge had wanted something but now he couldn’t remember. It was probably something that involved bodily harm to Grif so maybe he would just tell Sarge he never found the other. “It probably wasn’t important. I’ll tell him I didn’t find you later.” 

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Heh-heh, well, when you say it like that, I guess so. I mean, unless you’re talking about consuming ass. Or eating Lopez’s ass MREs. But no, I was talking about the warm and fuzzies that he gives me. The he being you.

Oh my god. Again with the eating ass thing! ... Hold up. Wait just a minute. What was that about Lopez’s ass MREs? 

.....

........

That’s really gay... Like really gay... -sniffle-

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Grif let out a derisive snort, “Yeah right. I’m not ‘cute’ Simmons, not by anyone’s metrics.” Fatass, smelly, worthless… He stamped out that line of thought before it could get him into trouble in front of Simmons. 

As a distraction, he tickled Simmons’ sides again. That giggle was totally worth it after all. Distract, deflect, deny, those were the keys to keeping everything the same, and keeping them from going to a weird place where they actually had to talk about feelings and problems.

“Well... You are by my metrics.” He admitted a bit tentatively unsure if he would be mocked for saying that.  “Eek! Stop that!” He yelped through some involuntary laughter. He didn’t like being tickled but for Grif he would put up with it. Punching the orange soldier in the face would probably put a damper on things and he liked that Grif mood seemed to be improving. Even if it was just via distraction.  

[abitofafatass]

He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me.

[cyberneticred-blog]

So... he gives you the urge to consume? That sounds dangerous. 

[cyberneticred-blog]

// Grif crashing a pelican to avoid a phone conversation is the biggest mood I have ever witnessed.  There there Grif. Phones give me anxiety too.

[cyberneticred-blog]

// Like that is my same exact reaction when my friend texts me and I just don’t want to climb down whatever rabbit hole they are trying to bait me with. like LOL NOPE ABORT 

[cyberneticred-blog]

// Grif crashing a pelican to avoid a phone conversation is the biggest mood I have ever witnessed.  There there Grif. Phones give me anxiety too.

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Grif, ever the playful jerk, poked him in the side. “Simmons, you’re fucking cute. Case in point, you’re bent like a fucking pretzel so you can hide your fucking face.” The cons of having a boyfriend a full head taller than he was, Grif mused. It wasnt something he had a whole lot of problems with.

Especially because that meant there was a whole lot of Simmons’ side to poke and tickle.

As soon as his side was poked Simmons recoiled and giggled. He was very ticklish.  “Noooo!” He latched back onto Grif once he got over the poke and hid his face again. “I wouldn’t have to be bent like a pretzel if you weren’t so short.” He went to stand upright but not before sneaking a kiss to Grif’s cheek.  “Maybe you are the cute one!”

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Oh thank fuck he didnt notice. 

Grif took a deep breath and smiled. “Alright buddy.” He reached over and put his arms around Simmons, holding onto him like a lifeline. “I love you.” He could see Caboose ball’s face slowly rolling up, but hugging Simmons was too good for Grif to care. 

“You know, you’re cute when you blush like that.”

As Grif wrapped his arms around him Simmons did the same, wrapping his own arms around Grif. “I love you too.” Simmons didn’t even notice the ball as it rolled. Instead he buried his face into Grif’s neck as they held each other. “Noo..” He whined in protest of being called cute. 

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

“Dont act like you dont trip over your own tongue.” Simmons was managing to do it pretty well right this second. Grif watched in fascination as Simmons tried to get whatever it was out. He what? What the hell did he want to say? Why was it being so hard for him to say it?

And then Simmons finally seemed to be able to get it out, and Grif wasnt sure if his ears had picked up on it right or not. “Wait, what?” he asked. And then his brain registered it, and Grif actually blushed. Bright enough to be seen against his dark skin. 

“Simmons, I… I love you too, buddy. No friend. No wait, you dont say friend to a guy you love. Fuck I’m fucking this up.”

And then, as if to remind him that they were still in the room, and also to help him fuck everything up, the Tucker ball spoke up (albeit under Grif’s breath, so Simmons might not have heard him), “Wow Grif. You somehow manage to fuck even a basic I love you. That takes fucking skills man.” The only thing Grif had going for him was that he’d gotten pretty decent at ventriloquism and casting his voice out from all his time alone on the moon.

Seeing Grif go red caused Simmons to smirk even if just for a brief moment. 

“Grif it’s fine. I don’t mind.” Grif seemed so high strung. Simmons just wanted him to relax. He hadn’t meant to make him even more anxious by saying ‘I love you’.  Though he heard Grif say something under his breath he didn’t quite catch what it was nor did he care to find out. Instead he leaned in and gave the other a gentle kiss on the lips before pulling away and going red again.  “You can call me buddy, friend, or even nerd. I don’t mind, especially if it comes from you.”

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Simmons’ lips left a tingle against Grif’s cheek, and his face heated up a lot. It still didnt quite feel real to him; he’d wanted to be this close and affectionate with Simmons for so long and now it was finally happening. 

He realized he’d kind of been standing there silent for an awkwardly long amount of time (or maybe no time had passed at all, who even knew anymore). “Yeah Silmarillion? Simmons, fuck.” He cleaned his throat. “Yeah Cinnamon?” Nope, he was just going to leave that one before his mouth continued to ruin things for him.

The nicknames caused Simmons to chuckle though they did confuse him some. What even was that? Shaking his head he chuckled again. “First off what the fuck was that? Second what I wanted to say is... uh.. well..” He paused for a moment. Having had a minute to think about it he was starting to get cold feet. No he was committed now. He had to say it he had Grif’s attention.  “I just wanted to say um... I uh.. I um..” Just say it already. Another pause. He was probably making Grif anxious with this stammering bullshit he was doing. “Iloveyou” He managed to get it out though he mumbled some and said it so quickly he wasn’t sure Grif would even hear it. But at least he got it out. 

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

“Right… Right, right… I’m sorry Simmons.” Grif took a deep breath, and placed his hand over Simmons’. “I’m not avoiding anything, its fine. Fine fine. Avoiding things is selfish and I’m not being selfish anymore. I’m turning over a new leaf.” Lying was also selfish, but Grif reasoned that it would be worse to make Simmons feel bad about what had happened to Grif after they’d all left. 

That was Grif’s fault, not theirs.

“It’s okay.” Simmons’ hand gave Grif’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.  Just the way Grif spoke Simmons could tell he wasn’t being completely honest but as he said before he wasn’t about to pry. Instead Simmons leaned in to give a light kiss to Grif’s  cheek.  “Hey Grif?”

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

“Odd?” he repeated. “Nah, I’m perfectly sa-normal! Normal! Just very very normal. I was just commenting that someone leaving all these volleyballs around is just asking for a lawsuit. Or a homo-erotic game of volleyball like in Top Gun. You know, I should just help out whoever left these laying around. Being lazy is one thing, but being dangerous is quite another. All laziness should be OSHA compliant.”

“Uh... huh...” Simmons was clearly not convinced.  “Grif. Grif. GRIF. Just chill out for a second. You are doing that thing where you go off on a tangent. You are clearly avoiding something and I won’t pry but if you want to talk about it you can. Just stop rambling for a second. It’s okay. Really.” Simmons walked over to the other and placed a reassuring hand on Grif’s shoulder. 

[cyberneticred-blog]

abitofafatass:

Grif jumped so hard that his feet actually left the ground for a second. “Uh- ah, uhhh… Oh shit.” Grif looked around to see if there was a way to hide his Volleyball Crew before Simmons showed up and started asking questions. Failing that, Grif just rolled them over so that their “faces” were down and hidden (to a small chorus of quiet “HEYS!”).

“Talking? Who’s talking? Hey Simmons, how’s it going. I’m just here… not talking or anything, Hahahaa..” Nice save.

By the time Simmons Showed up it looked like Grif was just standing by a bunch of volley balls. So who was he talking to then? He could have sworn he heard Grif’s voice.  “I just thought I heard you talking. You’re acting a little odd... What is going on?”