watching ur stories every day is infuriating.
this is no “not all men are..” “ I’m different…”
Or textbook men trauma poaching behaviour or ulterior motive bullshit. but I wanna tell u a story.
but it made me think of where my idea for who was my soul mate began or what my dream girl was.
the social heirachy of a school that was Zoey 101 and hogwarts always had strict unspoken rules. we all knew that. dog eat dog world where the opinions of the masses mattered more than your own.
to me at that time you were high school musical.
and yes we all know your gorgeous and crush in HS blah blah. but It never was about that for me. I really wanted to know JUST something about you, lucky to even dream of knowing what your values were, what makes you laugh, if you put sugar in your tea, or at least one thing about you.
like I was drawn to the mystery of who you were and the social barriers in the way. not even romantically, but like wtf why can’t I know this person? how would I even try to? such a warped place.
years and years later, I think I’ve found the one. and the process of our personalities intertwining over years and getting to bind our souls is more powerful than words.
and I watch your stories every day, clearly after years of trauma, hurt gaslighting and mistreatment— you almost spell out criteria for your next man or what they need. Sometimes even posting DMs of that one guy “give me a chance” 😂.
And yes there’s the classic pretty girl/fuck boy story lines, or the “nice guy/settle story lines “ that are just cliche. When I see ur stories that’s all I interpret. Scars from old wounds.
if anything it gives away a roadmap for someone to manipulate you even more if they are better than lying than the last person.
once upon a time the farfetched idea of getting to know you, in words sentences and smiles on every topic from your song or movie, to how you think — as if they were all colours to explore in a painting that was left a blank canvas from an artist you never met, hurts me. not because that’s what you “deserve” I never knew you. But because that’s what love is. And from what I see everyday without fail is that no one has made you feel that your life is in colour.
you were the first person I ever saw and said I wanna know her.
Whoever you are I’m happy for you that you found the one, truly. Some of us were never loved unconditionally by even our own blood so we’re cursed to a lifetime of pain disguised as love.
gummygunk
stormborns
izzy806
romaincrisis
origamiaround
