failinglife

Jasmine // 19 // NY // I'm an art student, don't expect much.

[childhoodruiner]

[ruinedchildhood]

Incredibles 2 (2018)

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

screenshots dont do this justice

[broitsablog]

*inhuman clicking*

[frostychica]

the millennial steve irwin

[bob-artist]

So last night I dreamed that it was winter and I was at a shopping mall and I looked outside and saw this guy walking his borzoi, who was wearing this giant snow suit.  But then the guy heard me laughing through the window and got REALLY mad at me.

Anyway, the dog looked like this.

[spooksandwheezes]

this bitch said “,okay,”

[raviposting]

Shane: “If you are going to kill me, turn the right one off.”

[music note as flashlight turns off]

Shane: “Okay!”

[achraya]

Shane is a true stone cold G, because I would have run screaming and crying dromnthat cursed doll room.

[shmothman]

one of the things my little brother and i do to each other is announce our presence by yelling HEWWO??? whenever we get home but. this has now caused our dad to also, upon getting home from work, throw the door open and yell. in the daddest voice possible. HEWWO???

[bewarewoof]

You Canned These Worms. Now Lie In It

[missmentelle]

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

If there’s ever anything you want that isn’t on this list…youtube it. Everyone always comments on my handiness, but everything I know comes from an old guy and his iphone.

[blue-star-above-me]

You’ve heard of Luigi’s Mansion, now get ready for...

Waluigi’s Apartment

[kingkoopasconeyislanddiscopalace]

It’s not haunted or anything Waluigi just attacks all the other tenants with a vacuum cleaner

[thebootydiaries]

listen 👂🏼 SWEETIE 🙄✋ i may be UGLY 🙊🙅🏽😤 but at least 💋💯 i’m BROKE 💅🏽💅🏽🐸☕️

[thetrippytrip]

I wish the world would understand..

[lesbianhaircut]

Good post but I have to admit my favorite part is the anime religious girls

[sacrificetheory]

they have the power of god AND anime on their side

[africant]

“Bonnie, we don’t have time for this.”

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

wh……….

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Hey uh if you go to that blog

And click that link

The binary in the image from the blog post translates to the password you need here which gets you this

And that url takes you here

I don’t have any idea what the code on the t-shirt is supposed to be tho

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Okay it’s a decimal code that translates to tumblr godknowsnone?

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

On that blog there’s like a captcha image and a long binary string. Stay tuned!!

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Okay that binary translates to ascii code

Which then translates to this

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

So when we log in to that email account

There’s not much there except this vimeo link in the drafts folder

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

The video is just 19 seconds of a very windy kind of woodsy area with a pond and a shortened url displayed over it

[seasonaldepressionmp3]

so that link takes you to this youtube video

and if you scroll down theres only one comment

click on the user and they dont have any videos, but their about page has a link

the link takes you to this freetexthost page, but im not sure what this text is code for

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

“check it out then go way back”

if you go way back to the original blog @nn17gkn

“cbg juj uk fb? Ouppx obpx pbfxc 7xfpb uo jbq? bap” is the first post

using this cypher that post translates to:

You did it now Gimme some money venmo is docworm

[momowaowa]

ok but they posted something new.

if you use the same website from before, it converts to

“Thanks for playing how about round two this is a gays only event hettys need not apply“ (first of all fuckin amazing)

but then the link leads you to this picture

which honestly idk what to do with, someone continue this.

[seasonaldepressionmp3]

thanks for adding this!!!!! i started looking into it

so if you brighten that image super high theres a link on the left side

that link takes you to a freetexthost page with this vimeo link: https://vimeo.com/277172453

the way the camera focuses in this video is morse code and me and @bitchface—mcgee translated it to: tmdlrrecurring17

we have no idea what this means and we’re stuck, if someone knows what this could be pls add on !!!!!

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

It’s still going y'all!!!!

[slimate]

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

I might be wrong but I think y'all might’ve mistranslated the Morse code. It might say tumblr recurring17

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

WE GOT FUCKING PLAYED AGAIN DKCNFSLXKFNRMDCKFNDMXKCNXNFJSLSSJ

[emmersdrawberry]

The Old God that runs the internet

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Cannot believe this journey is back on my dash

[micaxiii]

this is what ARGs were truly made for

[slushyseals]

So there’s this seal rehabilitation center I like to watch the livestream of from time to time. This morning was pool cleaning day, the day they weigh the rescue seals and photograph them to keep track of their rehabilitation progress as a sudden change in weight is a serious health indicator among other things. The box helps keep them on the scale as, otherwise, you cannot weigh bouncy boys.

This seal was having NONE OF IT. One of the workers was attempting to get the seal to turn so they could get a photo of its side. (They are not hitting the seal, at most she is giving him a little shove in the direction it needs to turn.) HE DID NOT LIKE BEING TOUCHED WITH THE SQUEEGEE.

He did NOT like his photo being taken!

As soon as they took the box to weigh one of the other seals HE STOLE THE FRIGGIN’ SQUEEGEE!!! 

[newrider]

[wamscoastsmoker]

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

[notsocialphobixanymorelmao-deac]

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

[wamscoastsmoker]

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

[pwhyxco]

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

[wamscoastsmoker]

get spooky

[tshifty]

how does this appear every june

[likeimbrandnew]

T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

[hellscape-of-sarah-blog]

it’s june

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

T I M E T O G E T S P O O K I N G Y’ A L L

[imin-loveanon-deactivated202006]

LEE IT’S JUNE

[weirdsthenewnormal]

GAY HALLOWEEN TIME

[kimpissable]

[ven0moth]

olive garden is just an Italian dennys