Ana Tips: How to Stop Engaging in Stereotypes and Lose Weight like a Pro
***Disclaimer*** I cannot be held liable for the actions of others for i do not control them. I am not a doctor either. Therefore suck my left nut.
1) Fasting
a) You can fast as little or as much as you want as you don’t faint and crack your head open. And, believe it or not, fasting for more than 72 hours won’t kill you.
b) Zero and low calorie drinks are your best friend in liquid fasts, m’kay? I’m not bullshit like i’m sponsored by pepsi zero, okay? And for fucks sake diet pop doesn’t have 5 or 10 calories okay? The FDA is a son of a bitch, okay? But they got calories on lock.
c) You can still exercise while fasting, just not as hard. You ca still go for a walk around the block or do a few sit ups. You’re not gunna go into cardiac arrest just because you went to the park.
2) Restricting a) We all know the normal bullshit about BMR, BMI, calorie deficits, and all that bullshit, right?
There are two main(note i say main, this is not all) ways to do this: eating whenever you want and eating in an allotted time frame.
b) Eating whenever you want; the “eat when you’re hungry” method.
We all know this one. It the one displayed all over. You eat when you’re hungry so you don’t eat more later. You eat small meals all through out the day whenever you want and get to eat whatever you want, which is pretty fucking awesome for some people. Obviously you have to stay within your allotted calorie amount or else it won’t work worth shit. A lot of people who do this also plan their meals in advance, so if you like planning go for it.
c) Eating in an allotted time frame; the “intermittent fasting” method.
This is the one you hear about on all the ana blogs on every website. Always with the fasting. The basic idea of fasting is to give your body more time to digest and do it’s job in between meals. Fasting more than twelve hours supposedly lets the human growth hormone kick in and helps with all that shit, too(thanks, jeffrey, for the biology lesson i really didn’t need but thanks, dad.).
You can fast from the time you go to bed to the time you eat lunch and eat you’re calories during that and/or your dinner.
I do this method because having food in me with the tight, metal ass binder I wear fucking hurts, like bitch muh ribs.
d) You can eat like a normal fucking person. You don’t have to eat 500 calories a day, yo. I know we all want that hot dainty about to faint look that was so popular with nuns and saints but you can eat the fucking honey bun, bitch.
e) Water. Not joking. Water. Drink it. If you’re bored, have a glass of water, yo. Hungry? Have a glass of water before your snack, wet ya whistle. Super fucking stoned and got world’s worst cotton mouth? Niagara Falls that bitch.
Seriously, water is so good. You can even add flavors to it with our wonderful 21st century GMO technology! I fucking love GMOs.
f) If you don’t wana eat, don’t. Just don’t. It’s your body.
3) Starvation mode IS NOT REAL. NO, STFU.
Starvation mode is not real, okay? When you eat less calories than you burn you lose weight. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Float on you metal n dainty ass fucks.
