carpe noctem;

regulus | he/it | certified richard siken enthusiast

[callibee]

[callibee]

KAVEH DRIP MARKETYING

[itotypes-deactivated20240212]

You know this one line in Stormbringer where Dazai is said not to breathe while watching Chuuya use Corruption? Yes.

[inspired by a still from Studio Heartbreak’s short film The Lovers]

[notpikaman]

tap for a surprise

[caelanglang]

Flags Week 2k22 ✨ Day Five

Coming of Age

Fireworks

“This is goodbye.”

⚠️ blood and Stormbringer spoilers

“To you who are the eternal fireworks, lighting up in the lonely night sky of my soul.”

[d4zaivrz]

thomato genuinely & unironically makes me go insane bc thoma grew up w the mindset of loyalty unlike any other drilled into his head by his father and ayato lost everything & he was ready to lose thoma, too, only for thoma to get a fucking vision as evidence to just how loyal he is to the yashiro commission and to ayato bc even though they have nothing now, they still have thoma's unwavering loyalty. i am so mentally unwell about them

[teathattast]

[purrfectlycontent]

dazai telling verlaine, chuuya’s brother, that he thinks about chuuya every single moment of every day is the most embarrassing thing he’s ever done

[sensitiveheartless]

[sensitiveheartless]

@no-brain-just-akutagawa and @cchrissa, I'm thinking both simultaneously lol

bonus:

[sensitiveheartless]

@no-brain-just-akutagawa @cchrissa—skdfksdfjksdjfk ok I had to do it—

skk and sskk being entirely un-self-aware and shameless about their own partnership but going "???" at the other partnership's shenanigans is really funny to me

also, now it's sskk's turn to be the meme

[gaycommunist]

i would do anything you want me to

@emptystic // nothing but thieves “lover please stay” // richard siken “planet of love” // emily palermo “what i could never confess without some bravado” // normal people (2020) // phoebe bridgers“moon song” // phoebe bridgers “graceland too” // elisabeth hewer “dove hands” // roger rossel “caitlin ciara and rominuse” // normal people (2020) // stephen adly guirgis “the last days of judas iscariot”

[d4zaivrz]

is it canon that nakahara chuuya genuinely cares about his appearance or is that just something that i cam up with in my head? [canon & headcanons are blurring together yikes]

but either way, i think it's both rlly fucking painful but also kinda sweet in a weird way? like, as a boy living on the streets and fighting for his and his friends' life, i don't think he had much time to think about his appearance, yk? but then he has the time and opportunity to start caring and what starts off as one good shirt turns into a whole wardobe and a spending habit.

but also, like. the idea that maybe he might have surrounded a bit of his self worth around how he looks to an extent? like if he looks good, then maybe people will listen to him more [it's a psychological thing] and maybe they'll pay attention to him yk and that sort of gives him a bit of a confidence boost

[lady-tortilla-chip]

Everyday I think about how extraordinarily selfish Dazai was when he kept Chuuya and Atsushi close in Beast.

[djbeatz]

Dazai always likes to call Chuuya ‘his dog’ and normally, that can be seen as him teasing or just being downright offensive. Though there is another way to think about it!

A dog is a man’s best friend. If Dazai keeps calling Chuuya his dog, then isn’t he technically calling him his best friend? I think it’s a fun thing to think about and something Chuuya would never find out unless someone told him. So it’s even funnier!

[lnkedmyheart]

THIS but also, dogs are marked by loyalty. Dazai is a possessive shit who saw the first kid his age who actually stood up to him and made him feel something. Before Chuuya he acted like nothing could make him genuinely happy but then he meets Chuuya and immediately begins to have actual fun, from the steady banter, the lack of actual fear, the equal amounts of pettiness, someone actually calling him out and the whole chance to be an actual child at the arcade. Dazai seems to realise that he likes this kid and wants him around but to his fucked up troll brain he can’t be friends so instead he has got to own him as his dog. If he beats Chuuya in a bet, Chuuya has no choice but to be his loyal dog for life and therefore stick with him for ever. Its implied he cheated to win in the 15 light novel as well.

So yea, Dazai wants this new kid to be his best friend and doesn’t have a clue of how to do it so he tries to claim his as his loyal dog for life.

It probably helps that Chuuya is actually loyal and protective towards Dazai (in his own weird way) and has the temperament of a chihuahua when petted.

[d4zaivrz]

skk from chuuya pov is a glass of painful yearning mixed with a shot of denial downed at midnight to wash down the taste of missing someone who was never yours

[d4zaivrz]

all i wanted by paramore is so unbearably soukoku that it makes me want to cry. specifically the first chorus that's like

"think of me when you're out (when you're out) there [...] and when the world treats you way too fairly, well it's a shame i'm a dream."

like... "well it's a shame i'm a dream" because for a brief moment, they were each other's safe place & in a place like the port mafia, that kind of trust (no matter how begrudging or how unentire) is something that is so, so precious.

and just... it only gets worse with this part that goes:

"i could follow you to the beginning, just to relive the start. and maybe then we'd remember to slow down at all of our favourite parts."

like??? soukoku meeting again years after and wishing they could go back to the start when they hated each other but things were so much easier because they haven't hurt each other this much.

it would be so much easier if they could just either love or hate each other but god forbid they ever have anything easy. so, no, they have to suffer and they have to go through complicated emotions and they just want each other, is that so much to ask for?

[kyouka-supremacy]

Every day I thank Beast for making what was an already complex and multilayered relationship an even more complex and multilayered relationship

The layers it adds to the sskk dynamics... How much they have in common... Helping to distinguish what of their behavior was shaped by their upbringing and what wasn't and instead is part of their nature... And most importantly how they would have literally loved each other if it hadn't been for the circumstances. They would have clicked at the first encounter. They would have affably chatted like they were longtime friends. They would have sympathized with the other and genuinely enjoyed the other's presence. AND ALL OF THIS IS CANON

Tbh I think Beast's main theme is that Atsushi and Akutagawa love each other and that any grudge they hold against the other is the consequence of the society they live in no I don't take criticism. What hits hardest - really, hardest - is the fact that even while fighting in Beast, they knew the other had no fault. They knew the other was just doing what they had to do, and it couldn't be any other way. They would have done the same thing in their place, and in a way they were doing exactly that, because their positions - fighting for their little sisters' lives - were nearly identical. As paradoxical as it may sound, even while fighting, they were sympathizing one with the other. The most beautiful yet cruel difference between Beast and canon is that while in canon they fight against each other because there's a difference in their ideals / goals, and can't understand the other's motivations, in Beast they do have such knowledge, they do understand and even go as far as to relate to the other's motivations, yet because of cruel fate they can't evade fighting - despite they would rather not to!!!! Despite actually saying they're sorry for what they're doing!!!! - because the circumstances compelled them to kill each other, a destiny they can't escape. And it's so tragic, and it's so beautiful, and it shows how deeply connected they are, and how much they're made for each other.

[d4zaivrz]

i think you’re allowed to feel like you’re going to go batshit insane, actually. you’re allowed to feel as if you’re going to split apart at the seams. you’re allowed to feel as if you’re going to rip your own eyeballs out. you’re allowed to feel like the end of the world is coming and you’re going to fucking die. you’re allowed to feel because feeling is human and you don’t need permission to be human.