DadofallTrades

Dodging and Weaving Through Life!

[dad-ofall-trades]

You know that you're on struggle street physically, when your 88 year old Father surprise gifts me, his 44 year old son, with a Pain Pod. Mashallah, Dad, you're an absolute Legend. Thank you. ❤ #strongasanox #dontcompare #didntgethisgenes https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo6FNIShTyB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ba3y6jt10ldp

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Apparently in our household we eat bananas🍌. Without fail, a trip to Woolies = a fresh bunch. The bananas get put into a fruit bowl and they happily stay there until they go black, I believe its at this point that they become invisible 👀. And so the process begins, new bananas beside the bowl of black "invisible" bananas, up until they turn to mush, become miraculously "visible" again, peeled, chucked into a bag and then frozen. But on the bright side, we now have 10 bags of frozen bananas that we will one day make banana cake with.🎂 #goingbananas #lemanabanana #bananacake https://www.instagram.com/p/BogakYNhylw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ez3vk0eq0c8y

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Pia!!!! "Your cooking is burning the house down again!!!" Then you look across the road and notice the neighbors house on fire!!!! #putyourcigaretteout #housefire #savedtheday #petesnothappy #mfb https://www.instagram.com/p/BoMHtL6Bopj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1oxyesj9pcgrx

[dad-ofall-trades]

"La Pia Pizza" It's in their blood. 😋 #homemadepizza

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Menu: Seasonal Avocado With Citrus,Toast & Local Kelp Salt $13.50 Add Miso Cured Salmon $8.00 Rifs Interpretation: Vibrant CITRUS infused avocado salad, CONSTRUCTED on a BUTTERED sour dough toast. Reality: Half an avocado, two bits of bread, no butter and a slice of lemon, ohh lets not forget the freshly caught local Maryrbnong River European Carp Summation: Feeling a touch swindled, $27 for one avocado and four pieces of bread. And I'm still looking for the salt.

[dad-ofall-trades]

Your bench mark of perfection is what frustrates me but what you expect of yourself, inspires me. Another brilliant cake Pia! #wigglescake #ourluckykids #dadwouldbesoproud

[dad-ofall-trades]

Sometimes in life, you just need a little push. 😁

[dad-ofall-trades]

Eight years, three kids and a house build. Not broken, more beautiful. Happy Anniversary ❤

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When mum turns away and mutters " I can't look anymore".....#parkfun #swingslimit #poormum

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Seriously, you do the right thing and give up watching the BBL grandfinal to push the trolley at Woolies and then she looks at you in disbelief because you're not helping load the conveyor belt. #cantwin #Ihavethelife #luckyhusband #bestwife

[dad-ofall-trades]

Once a week we do dinner at mum and dads. A conscious decision my wife and I made in the hope that a family tradition could be entrenched for generations to come. Other than eating all of my favorite childhood meals, its a time where I can reflect and reminisce childhood memories by watching the kids interact with my parents, in the house that I grew up in. It's odd at times witnessing them do the same things that I myself once did. So what am I getting at? Well my aim is to document a series of events entitled "My Woglife", where I will document some of the more interesting and unconventional things we did as a kids, which are now entertainingly being past on to my children. Some may find the expression "Wog" offensive, derogatory or even racist. Let me just say I use the term lightly. For me personally, it's a word that has somewhat moulded me into the person I am today. It's given me thick skin, taught me to give as good as I get and it also cocooned me into a group, that at the time I was extremely proud to be a part of. Our food was great, our gardens had veggies, lemon and olive trees in the front and rear yards, we styled our hair with hairdryers, grease and gel and our cars were always fat and loud! In todays world all these things are standard but in the prime of my childhood they were unheard of. Lets take a Trio of dips with turkish bread as an example, not uncommon at the table these days however back in the day, the expression on my friends faces when I tried to explain that we spread homous or yoghurt on our bread and not tomato sauce was absoulutly priceless. For this to gain the traction and have the impact I'm looking for, I'm calling for input of past experiences, from homelife, that may have seemed absolutely normal to you but from someone elses perspective looking in, it was akin to observing an Alien life form. You know, sometimes the differences between us, can actually be the glue that unites us but more importantly its bloody hilarious! #mywoglife #fambam

[dad-ofall-trades]

I’ve gotta admit, I’m a tech junky. Growing up, one of my favourite activities was a train trip to the city spending countless hours at JB Hifi dreaming about the next boom box that I couldn’t afford. JB has always been my go to, I’d lose myself in there. First I would look at everything that I didn’t need then I’d ask for assistance and ask a thousand questions. Most of the time, I would just tyre kick and when I think back, it surprisingly never seemed to be a problem for the staff. (not that they’d let it be known) JB has channnnnnged! When I walk in there these days, you’re met by a security guard, who more often than not makes you feel uneasy, almost like you’re about to rob the joint. And for some reason if you smile and acknowledge them “How'z it going mate?” it usually confirms his/her suspicions. (I understand, shoplifting is a serious issue and I’m not making light of a serious problem that retailers face every day.) Right, I’ve passed border control, now what was I here for? I venture on to find a “staff member” (the definition of which used to be, someone that was employed to assist a customer who walked into their store) When you’ve finally found one, you’ve usually found them all! You see JB staff these days congregate in packs. And a word of warning, tread lightly if you’re interrupting a serious discussion about where Friday night drinks will be this week because the death stares will cut straight through to your soul! Customers these days are seemingly given a three question allowance, so make sure they’re hard hitting and to the point, otherwise you’ll be encountered with your first eyeroll. The first time it happened to me I was disgusted, however now I feel privileged to have the opportunity to be embraced by a staff member that’s willing to grant me my three wishes. Maybe donning the lanyard every morning with the bouncer like number and tag, provides them with a sense of empowerment. So recap: I’ve made my way past security, found a congregation of staff members, asked my three questions, been borderline eye rolled and now I have the daunting task of actually telling the guy that I’d like to think about the purchase before committing. Now thats going to be Awwwwkward! I’m certain in his mind he’d gone above and beyond to win this sale with his facetious and condescending tone and one word forced response’s to my questions! After dropping the bombshell that I’d be thinking about it, the look on his face was so sour it made me grimmace. Then, like the Queen of England, stopping short of showing me his palm, he turned his back and walked off as if I’d never existed. I turned to my wife and asked “Ahhhh, Is that normal?” I almost wanted to call him back and say “Let’s start over again, I think we got off on the wrong foot” I decided to let bygones be bygones and move on. The only thing left to do now was get passed the security guard and try to avoid the awkward stare off where he makes you feel like confessing to a theft that you didn’t commit!!! Amazon, our world is your oyster!!!

[dad-ofall-trades]

What better way to start a blog than to talk about “Shopping Centre” shopping with the family. I spend most of my working day in those parts so it’s definitely not high up on my preferred past times. Taxes and Shopping! Ive finally come to the realisation that they’re both on the list of non-negotiables, they suck the bank account dry and they’re sprung on you at the worst possible time! “We need to get the kids runners” sounds easy enough, “sure, no probs!” Here I am, strapping the kids into the car, pepping myself up like, “right, keep it together, its going to be a good day” I step out of the car and into Chaddy like Micheal Jackson at the start of Thriller, then “BAM!” the naturally ventilated, clean, oxygen filled shopping centre air hits me like a mothball in a damp wardrobe. I turn on the family as unexpectedly as MJ turns into a Werewolf!!! My ears start growing and hair takes over my whole body(ohhh yeah, thats normal) anyway…… I can’t explain why but I’m instantaneously annoyed by EVERYTHING! I don’t reckon there’s been a shopping venture to Chaddy where I haven’t looked into a fellow Comrades eyes and said to myself “Brother, you look like you’re walking the Green Mile!!” I know its at that exact moment, he needs me as much as I need him. A heart warming glance, slow blink and head nod is sometimes strength enough to get you around two more “deja vu” laps of the ground level. Level 1, Myer and DJ’s are a whole new challenge…. 4 ½ hours later, we’ve got the runners, that actually only took 10 minutes. The rest of the stuff we needed was a minor oversight left off the debrief the day before………she swears I wasn’t listening 😒 Guys, is it just me or does anyone else find walking into a shopping centre unexplainably agitating?

[dad-ofall-trades]

Thank You!

Wow!!! I'm shocked at the response! I actually have followers???(but then again I do have at least 5000 first cousins around the world)

Do I laugh, cry or shut it down? I mean, what does a blogger do now? Write back, wait??? I don't want to seem too keen nor do I want to be perceived as unresponsive. We all know the 3 day rule right? Surely bloggers have a similar code of conduct.

In saying that, I would have definitely posted sooner on my first day as a blogger to thank you all for liking my page, however as excited as I was to look at the response I'd had (btw I did it with one eye open and a gut wrenching grimace on my face 😨) I've been extremely busy this morning feeding three kids, whilst my wife had a sleep in on "my holidays!!!". Hahaha. The poor thing has had a massive 2017 and must have really needed it. 😁

I look forward to building a "blogging" relationship with you all in the near future.

[dad-ofall-trades]

Spring time, seed planting time and apparently this doesn’t only take place in the garden. Somewhere, in a small space in my head, theres a cultivated patch that has my wifes name on it. You see, my wife’s a professional at this. I’m not sure how she does It but that little space sprouts more lightbulb moments than Einstein on a weekend think tank!! I’m certain that there’s a secret womans seed planting society aka swsps, that has preserved this socery and handed it down through the generations. Definitely a topic for another day…..

So my wife suggested i start a blog, “what? where did this come from?” because in her words, I had a gift. Finally, she’d seen my worth but haaaang on, wives don’t give out compliments like this for free and if they do, generally there’s something in it for them! I’m sure I’ll be enlightened soon enough. Although I partly agreed with her I was reluctant. My motivation for starting a blog still isn’t quite clear and that’s exactly how a seed in the mind germinates. Us men will perform an action and then question, “Did I actually just do that? *headshake* I honestly never thought I’d do that!”

So as bewildered and unsure as I still am, Ive made a choice to start a blog. I’m hopefully going to write on a range of personal topics, being a dad, husband, son, brother, uncle, mate and tradesman in the 21st century. I guess my ultimate objective is to have people relate to the things that I’m writing about and feel that they’re part of the story. If someone is reading one of my blogs (which I hightly doubt) and can visualize themselves in my situation, I think I’ve achieved what I set out too.

My style of writing won’t be eloquent, educational, inspirational and actually it’ll probably be borderline accurate. My grammatical errors will be many, from memory the only positive assesment my Yr12 english teacher gave me was if I’d butchered the english language anymore than I had, she’d have given me an A+ for ingenuity! Thanks Mrs Tan, I knew your words of inspiration would have a positive effect on me one day.

My inspiration will be envisaging my reader ride the wave of emotions and relate personally to what I’m writing. If I’m drawing on the emotions of laughter, you can bet your bottom dollar thats exactly what I’m doing whilst writing and those closest to me will agree that nobody thinks I’m funnier than me!

Well thats enough of why I’m doing this, I still don’t feel any more worthy but here goes nothin. Welcome to probably my one and only follower, my wife, I hope you get double the enjoyment of having to listen to my dribble as well as read it. By the way, I’m not sure this is going to work if you keep making me delete and re-write stuff that you don’t approve of :-)

And I better introduce myself, I’m Rif, devoted husband to my best friend and committed father to three of the most amazing children i could have ever prayed for.

Here we go, hopefully you’re all coming for the ride……