lavoie, lavoie, give me the formuolie
from @grsphmy (unprompted, obviously)
What absolute shit. He had put a ton of thought into the gift. More than he’d put into one again, if each reception would play out like this. Belt bags were notoriously divisive. Given Lyle’s apparent lack of interest in fashion, he couldn’t be trusted to appreciate the accessory, no matter how practical. Not even as a gag gift (which it wasn’t). Everything was frustrating, but more than that, it was infuriating. It was infuriating that he felt bad.
He didn’t want to give Lyle a lackluster gift, but what else did he have? Companionship was out of the question; he’d get laughed at even more than earlier. His wallet wasn’t that powerful. If he were to be defeated, it would be gracefully: by losing the last shred of dignity he had left. At this point, what was he beyond a plaything?
“Shut up, jackass.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know you know that’s not my name. I’m not responding to it. Anything but that.” One eye opened warily, the both of them previously shut. “Considering how much you loved that belt bag, you’re gonna love this.” Ciel crossed his arms, clicked his tongue, then shook his head. “This is a helluvan offer, Ly. Once in a lifetime, for some. Are you ready for this?” There was no need to play it up. It wasn’t that great. “I’m gonna let you name me.”
Despite himself, he smiled. “Lavoie-Formuolie is so repulsive, I gotta change my whole identity. It’s in your hands now. As long as it’s not that, you can gimme any kind of legal, humane name you want.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Nothing vulgar or obscene.” If it was some kind of veiled insult using mundane language, he’d probably let it slide. He held out both arms toward Lyle, tilting them as though pouring something in front of him. “I’m entrusting you with this.” If it was catchy or clever, he’d play along with it for more than a couple days. “Asmodeux and Beelzebub are good names. I know you got another one in you.”