lavoie, lavoie, give me the formuolie
from @grsphmyâ (unprompted, obviously)
  What absolute shit. He had put a ton of thought into the gift. More than heâd put into one again, if each reception would play out like this. Belt bags were notoriously divisive. Given Lyleâs apparent lack of interest in fashion, he couldnât be trusted to appreciate the accessory, no matter how practical. Not even as a gag gift (which it wasnât). Everything was frustrating, but more than that, it was infuriating. It was infuriating that he felt bad.Â
  He didnât want to give Lyle a lackluster gift, but what else did he have? Companionship was out of the question; heâd get laughed at even more than earlier. His wallet wasnât that powerful. If he were to be defeated, it would be gracefully: by losing the last shred of dignity he had left. At this point, what was he beyond a plaything?
   âShut up, jackass.â He pinched the bridge of his nose. âI know you know thatâs not my name. Iâm not responding to it. Anything but that.â One eye opened warily, the both of them previously shut. âConsidering how much you loved that belt bag, youâre gonna love this.â Ciel crossed his arms, clicked his tongue, then shook his head. âThis is a helluvan offer, Ly. Once in a lifetime, for some. Are you ready for this?â There was no need to play it up. It wasnât that great. âIâm gonna let you name me.â
  Despite himself, he smiled. âLavoie-Formuolie is so repulsive, I gotta change my whole identity. Itâs in your hands now. As long as itâs not that, you can gimme any kind of legal, humane name you want.â He paused for dramatic effect. âNothing vulgar or obscene.â If it was some kind of veiled insult using mundane language, heâd probably let it slide. He held out both arms toward Lyle, tilting them as though pouring something in front of him. âIâm entrusting you with this.â If it was catchy or clever, heâd play along with it for more than a couple days. âAsmodeux and Beelzebub are good names. I know you got another one in you.â