May I have a little Jay sad hour here on main? (TW: discourse about s3lf H4rm art)
Idk how on tw arrived in my feed some SH arts. I know everyone copies with things as the best of their capacity but
Usually, i don't care about triggers or stuff in art, cause i see art for what it is: art. And i take every other thing as a key for the interpretation (don't wanna put down any emotion the author is trying to convey through their work, but years of studying history of arts brings you here i guess).
But (and here im doing a huge coming out, but i guess-) as a person who struggled with various types of SH since they were 13 (and still struggle a lot with depression and SH), i guess the art i saw really triggered me, especially cause the art was idealizing it...again don't wanna put down the emotions of the author-but im still thinking about it and it's been hours since i saw the drawing and i just needed to talk to scratch it out from my brain-----
Guys, SH's scars are horrible. My shoulder is ruined forever. I didn't wear tank tops for years to hide them. When i sweat, they become itchy and red. Sometimes, even the oldest ones still hurt, and they're a constant reminder of what i did and for what.
So, I'm asking you not to idealized such things. Search for help in case you are thinking about doing this stuff - the pain can cause you peace for a moment, but it's just a fraction of a second. The big pain is still there and it's okay to ask for help. This is fancy coming from me, i lived closed in myself for years, thinking i deserved everything was happening to me, even stopped talking for a bit...
It's okay to feel pain. It okay to be sad. And it's also okay to want to stay alone. But don't get the loneliness eat you-remember that there's always someone who cares about you, there's always something to live for! To me was drawing, playing music, my pets, my late nonna.
Im not saying this to put a big spotlight over myself like "look i do SH~". If now i can talk about it so freely is because i hit the very bottom not too long ago. Im not proud. But the only thing we can do is getting up again and try to be honest with ourselves and ask for help.
Your life is worth to be lived!
Really guys, sometimes even see a flower bloom again is worth, seeing the sun rise from your window or listen again to your favorite song. I'm writing this in tears, i wrote so many suicide notes in my life, sometimes they hunt me still when i search through my stuff... but what stopped me every time were the stupidest thing you can ever imagine...once were my cat purrs.
Live for you. Live for the best version of yourself you can become. You have the potential to be everything you want!
