Fuck it. No one asked for this but who gives a shit?!
-This motherfucker doesn't know a single thing about dating or relationships. He doesn't have a thought behind those eyes
-But all you have to do is slowly but surely teach him
-He loves cuddles, after a long day of committing crimes, sometimes he just was to flop his big ass head right on top of you. Be careful though, he's heavy
-Doesn't really understand kisses. He has bread for a head. Wouldn't that feel weird? But he'll get used to it. Just don't do it around the others, you'll definitely be teased or degraded for kissing him of all people
-He loves playing the piano for you. Any song you want, and he'll try his best to learn it. Once he does and he plays it for you. Compliment his skills and a big goofy grin will appear
-He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, so there's a big chance he'll forget something you told him about. Like if you like a certain book or movie. It'll slip right through his mind like butter to....well, bread
-As a boyfriend, he's all over you. Following you around like a loyal dog. Sometimes he'll rest his head on top of yours and close his eyes
-When his family first found out about him loving you....oh my God, it was absolute chaos
-Like I said earlier about cuddles, he loves them. But he'll have to bunk with you though. He canonically sleeps in a breadbox. Also, when sleeping and cuddling you, you will be squished and metaphorically suffocating under him. He'll be laying on top of you like a starfish
-If you kiss him square on the lips suddenly, you can see the gears turning in his soft head. And once it clicks, he'll turn as warm as a fresh baked loaf of bread out of the oven. But don't be surprised if he suddenly gives you one back, he's addicted to your affection
-Nicknames he loves: Goober, softie, lovely, dear, dearest, sweetness, sweetheart, sweet bread, sugar
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I love my silly bread man 🍞🙃
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