Daddy Noob

1. dad·dy [dad-ee]; an informal word for father. 2. noob [nu:b]; is a slang term for a novice or newcomer, or somebody inexperienced in any profession or activity. Welcome to the amusing journey of a first time daddy in all its glory. Fatherhood is full of comedy and this blog is created to celebrate parenthood through the lens of a thirty year old daddy noob. Let laughter unite us as I learn the ways of becoming a "faja."

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Here are BabyNoob's first words, even if it is a stretch! Don't mind my ridiculous baby voice while talking, I'm a dad that completely disregards my manly tone for childhood conversation. Or maybe this is how I always sound... Hmmm

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BabyNoob is six months old tomorrow. I love this little man. Here is a random video of him communicating with me. He already speaks boy... Or whatever dialect it is. Ha.

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BabyNoob's first road trip. Loved seeing all our friends and dodged a sketchy snow storm. #epictrip #rememberyourfirst

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BabyNoob is stuck on repeat with these coo's as he soothes himself from the beginning stages of teething. Epic cuteness right here.

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BabyNoob talking up a storm while sitting on my desk as I ninja design. #bestclientever

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Welcome to Noobville, population; me. Here is another installment of my top three (or four) from a DaddyNoob's life.

Go here to read other Dnoob’s Top Three… here…

This week is my top four things not to say to your baby mama in the middle of the night.

I have said all of these except one. Which one do you think it is?

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What happen to the New Years resolution for exercising. #gympocalypse

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The guys at How To Be A Dad are collecting parents’ stories of extreme messes created by their kids. Call [phone] and follow these simple steps, which I took from their post:

Leave us a message with your messy story. Say your first name (only), website name (if you’ve got one) and your story (one minute max).

We will select and put up the voice messages here in this post for all to hear.

Laugh with your fellow parents. Bask in the healing glow of laughter

I contributed one. Go check it out for the lulz.

Oh, yeah. One more thing. If you also tweet a version of your story via this Clorox portal, you could score $15,000.

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"You are the DaddyNoob, I thought that was some famous guy from the states!"

From a guy at church.

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Tis the Night Before BabyNoob! This was a video I took the night before MommyNoob went into labour. I found this video while scrolling through saved blog drafts over Christmas. It may be hard to hear, but this is her hardcore snoring for one of the rare occasions in our marriage. It was so ridiculously loud, that I heard it while walking upstairs. I couldn't resist and had to video it for proof that she does snore. Its crazy to think that only hours later she was desperately needing this stored slumber. Now she only wishes she could have this epic of a sleep. Ha. DaddyNoob

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For all you DaddyNoob followers, here is our Christmas picture for this year. A little late, but whatever, it's 2013 and we didn't die at the over promised end of the world. I am getting back on the saddle of blogging after a much needed holiday and man do I have a ton of content... Watch out, it's going to be a good year! Dnoob!

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I have been MIA...

Hey everybody... I took a break from blogging over the Christmas holidays. But I am back at now.

Hope everyone had an incredible Christmas and New Years.

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Some daddy love with my blue stripe boy. I was showing himself in the mirror, but he was more amused by the lights. Ha. A great way to celebrate three months old. For reals! He is three months already!!!! Wow, this is going too fast. Happy Almost New Years! DaddyNoob

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Hit parody films: “The Vomit: A Pregnancy Journey”, “The Bjorn Legacy”, and blockbuster video game titles like “Call of Daddy: Black Poops”. Check out these rad posters for movies you may never see and video games you can only dream of playing.

Props to DaddyNoob for making these parenting related movie/game parody posters. I hear black poops multiplayer is a mess.

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One of my favourite blogs on Tumblr posted a collage of my parody posters. Wow! Epic.

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Christmas - the gift of a SON!

Here is one of the most personal posts I have ever wrote, and it's on Christmas day. Enjoy.

Tis the season! A time filled with snow, family, food, pyjamas, board games, eggnog, photo ops, reading, making memories and being thankful for the blessings we have.

For me Christmas is a much anticipated time. I love the working up to Christmas as much as the actual day! That's the reason why we set up our tree and decorate our house at the beginning of November. I truly believe that Christmas is best enjoyed in anticipation of what to come. That being said, for others Christmas is something they fear, dread and are anxious of. For my wife and I, last Christmas was a uniquely hard time for the both of us. We still didn't dread or fear Christmas, but we were definitely anxious. See, four months earlier we lost our first child due to a miscarriage nine weeks into the pregnancy. It was an unimaginably hard time in our life as we had already been trying to conceive for a few years. But, you can read all about that story here.

Therefore, as we entered the Christmas holidays last year, we were obviously anxious to find out if a child was on the way. Every month of trying was a roller coaster of emotions as we hoped to see the two lines appear on the pregnancy test. It was the only gift we hoped for. Unfortunately we found out Christmas Eve morning that we would have to wait another month as there would be no baby. It was heart crushing to realize this only hours before we began the festivities with my family. We had a difficult time preparing to celebrate Christmas as another year was now going by without the sign of a child.

Only a few hours later, a Christmas miracle happened. We were visiting the Christmas Eve service at my brother's church when this miracle took place. Now hold on, before you think I am going to get all weird on this blog post, hear me out. I was standing singing a carol when I noticed in the row ahead of me a few children laughing, ecstatic and inattentive as their minds were most likely flooded with the excitement of receiving gifts. It was then that the music faded in my mind and my thoughts turned to the hopes of being a father one day. Time didn't slow down or anything like that, but that moment did seem to last longer than normal. As I imagined what it would be like to celebrate Christmas with my own child, a thought seared my mind with such clarity. It was as if someone turned a light on in my subconscious. The only way I can explain it was as if my mind received a text message, and the message said; "You will be a father by next Christmas!" I shook my head and knew what I had heard. It was a promise! It was hope! It was instant peace! It was the message of Christmas. A child will come! I have experienced moments like this before and knew that this was not a thought conceived out of my own intentions. It was divine. Now, I have thought a million times before about how I would love to be a dad before such and such time, but this truly was different. 

I told my wife after the service, and she quickly reminded me that if you are going to be a father before next Christmas, I would have to be pregnant in the next few months. This was a detail I seemed to overlook in my excitement. I began to recant what I said, when my wife confidently said; "I believe it can happen!" Please understand, I am not someone who grabs onto thoughts or feelings and uses them as the rutter than courses my life, but this thought had brought hope and peace to us when we needed it most and for that alone, was a miracle.

We grabbed ahold of that promise with continued hope that we would one day be parents. We had no idea how long it would be, or how it would happen, but we believed it. We entered the new year making arrangements at the fertility clinic to start the process in February. We wanted to wait one more month to see if we could conceive without additional assistance, but knew it was time to pursue other options if need be. A couple weeks into the new year, my wife woke me up by waving a pregnancy test with two lines in my face. It had happened. A story that is better told here. We fast forward the story to this Christmas, and I was reminded last night as I stood and sung similar carols about the promise we received a year prior. 

Christmas has always been a time for me to celebrate the birth of Jesus! This year I not only celebrate it as the birth of God's son, but of my son! What a miracle, what a gift, what a Christmas!

Thanks for listening.

Enjoy your Christmas!

DaddyNoob

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Doomsday DaddyNoob Do Nots

In the early hours of this day, while you were sleeping, I was caged in the cesspool of illness, otherwise known as the waiting room at the Children’s Hospital. As I clock watched waiting for BabyNoob to get admitted for his dirty cough and worsening cold, I couldn't resist myself. I had to blog, and therefore this uber random post was born. You may ask; what do you write about at 2am on your iPhone in limbo for a Doctor. It was an obvious choice as today marked the most publicized apocalypse next to Y2K.

Here are my three "Do Nots" during Doomsday.

1. Do not go all “World War Z” on your kid, they are not a zombie, they’re just on Christmas holidays.

2. Do not shut the breaker off to your house as a prank while your child is watching Netflix. No matter how tempting it may be, this may cause toddler pandemonium.

3. Do not change your newborns mobile to the tune of REMs; "It's the End of the World." 

Well, I am glad we all made it another day. Enjoy your Christmas and live like tomorrow is always the end of the world.

Cheers,

DaddyNoob

[daddynoob]

By 2:45am we received the Doc report that BabyNoob is okay, just a minor cold that will go away over the next couple days. A case where it is more painful for us the parents than it is for him. Good news for sure, but by the time I got home and in bed. It's 3:55am! Ouch!