Jun 7
My son found quite a large slug!
seen from China
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seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Egypt
seen from United States
seen from Egypt
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
My son found quite a large slug!
03-01-2026 [EN]
"Love and war are two different things. You cannot have both. One will always kill the other." — Nero au Augustus, Golden Son.
I’ve been a father for five months now... and I am afraid for my daughter. I’m afraid of introducing her to a world filled with war, propaganda, violence, injustice, and hollow dogmas. The United States invaded Venezuela today; we are witnessing a new resurgence of imperialism...
My neighbor to the south is a monster that doesn't know the word "No," a monster that only understands the hunger for more. More oil, more power, more wealth, more spending, more control, more land, more money, more famine, more death.
I realize today that my daughter will know war. Not a war on the other side of the globe, but a war on our own continent. A war that will very likely take place here, at home in Canada. They will use the Quebec and Albertan separatist movements to weaken us and conquer us one by one... Quebec will never be master of its own house if it never stops navel-gazing; it will always be subject to another.
Is this the legacy I want to leave my daughter? A legacy of oppression?
No.
That is why I find myself contemplating the idea of creating for war, creating to defend, creating to—possibly—kill... instead of pursuing my childhood dream. I wanted to help farmers, help them grow plants in every corner of the globe, help them feed a population with green solutions. I dreamed of making a difference for the good of humanity, for the planet.
Instead, I find myself today wanting to use my engineering skills to defend my family from oppressors...
I’m just a dad who doesn’t want to be afraid for his daughter.
my mom got my toddler an iPad so he can facetime her and my dad whenever he wants… pray for us chat. i’ve got the thing on the strictest parental controls possible rn but i just don’t want him becoming an iPad kid, yk?
I'm 45 and officially fit into the same sizes as when I was 20?! <mostly 😂>
Waist: 32
Dress Shirt: 15/32
T-shirt: Med (though I prefer larges or xls)
Dress pants...I shrunk an inch already soooo...32/29 😳
I was 5'7" now 5'6" 🤷♂️🤦♂️
The Keyes family goes to piercing pagoda
The Keyes family goes to piercing pagoda
Our little drama Princess wanted to get her ears pierced for her birthday. She was so scared; so to provide her some comfort her we all got our ears done.
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Tween Phone Contract
A lot of people write up a phone contract with their tweens. Here’s mine:
To My 11-Year Old, an iPhone Contract From Your Dad, With Love and Rules
Congratulations! You are the recipient of a new iPhone. It has ruined my life and it will ruin yours. There will be moments of joy, however.
I didn’t mean to start off negatively. It’s just…hard. This is a contract to help you understand the rules that will hopefully keep you a happy and healthy digital citizen!
IT IS MY PHONE. I mean, I have my own phone, so I won't ask for yours back. I bought it for you, so in that sense it is *your* phone. I also bought the clothes you wear and the food you eat and I never ask for any of that back. Yes, sometimes I eat whatever you leave on your plate because I can't help myself. It's a problem outside of the scope of our current phone contract, but I'll try to do better.
ALWAYS ANSWER WHEN YOUR MOTHER OR I CALL. Yes, I know that I nearly always send Nana and Papa’s calls to voicemail. But that is because I am often busy when they call. I still love them a lot, it's just that I can’t always talk when they call. We have a different relationship though, right?
TAKE GOOD CARE OF IT. And just like I don’t expect to buy a new bed for you each year, I won’t be buying you a new phone each year. Oh sure, bed companies would have you believe that every year you need the newest bed technology; but I’m not going to pad Big Bed’s pockets every time they introduce some new bell or whistle or some kind of down pillow top. Of course, at some point these new beds stop working suddenly, suspiciously around the time new bed operating systems come out. You really can’t win.
I HAVE ACCESS TO IT. I must have the password to your phone so I can access it at any time. Make it something easy to remember so I don’t have to reset it all the time like I always have to do on mine. Eventually, I will want you to have a hard-to-hack password - maybe I’ll even have to buy you a password manager. I mean, that’s how they get you - could be that the people selling password manager apps are the same people hacking those who don’t use them! Wouldn’t that be a thing? These are just the sorts of things that you were blissfully unaware of, pre-phone.
SOMETIMES WE'LL HAVE TECHNOLOGY FREE ACTIVITIES. Now that you're going on the grid, it's important to make sure you have time off the grid. Yes, I'm putting you on the grid and asking you to get off the grid. You'll see!
NO USING YOUR PHONE AFTER 9PM. Hoo boy, do I wish I had someone to tell me that rule. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve worked myself into a lather by checking Twitter right before bed. I tell myself to read a book, but do I listen? No. And in the morning, what’s the first thing I do? Check Twitter and see what kind of madness is erupting in the news. All this before coffee! Why do I do it? And the weekend - want a guaranteed way to ruin your weekend? Go ahead and check your phone - there's bound to be some work drama you need to deal with on your "day off."
NO SOCIAL MEDIA. Speaking of Twitter, we’re not letting you join any social networks without our approval. That includes Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and any others they come up with. Trust me, once you get on these things you’ll wonder why the hell your great joke was only “liked” once and meanwhile some friend who isn’t nearly as funny has over 10,000 followers. It’s maddening. And Facebook? Do you like having strong political opinions get nitpicked until you don’t care anymore? Do you like Game of Thrones spoilers? Do you like finding out someone you went to high school with is now a total racist? Okay, I know you’re only going into middle school - but take a look at your current friends and you’ll be pretty surprised which ones of them become lunatics later in life.
IF IT BREAKS, WE MIGHT NOT REPLACE IT RIGHT AWAY. But honestly we’d be doing you a favor.
Enjoy your new phone!
So this is the DadBod, a blog about the infamous time in a man's life where the joy of helping your partner bring new life into the world comes at the cost of your fucking waistline...
Over the next year I'm planning on trying several different 'proven' techniques of changing your body for the better, whilst still managing to find the time to work, cook, bath the other kid, bathe yourself, cook some more (because you're trying to be organised), fix all the shit that keeps getting broken, take the kids out, see your mother, take the dogs for a walk, feed the animals (we have several including a tortoise I'm sure has a problem with retardation) keep your face beard in some sort of presentable fashion and all the other stuff a super dad is supposed to do...
Just a shout out...
Shout out to all mums that carried a moving lump for 9 months.
Shout out to the mums that cruised through maternity with squinty eyes because dad went to work and needed that extra sleep so you battled the night feed.
Shout out to the first time mums thats started a full time job raising a baby with no experience on their CV.
Shout out to mums that have to then teach dad EVERYTHING
Shout out to dads for trying.
Shout out to the baby that has to swing in a bouncer between the bathroom and watch dad shower (not a pretty site)
Shout out to the parents, both mum and dad who both still look 9 months pregnant because the lack of sleep has encourage a appetite for naughty food.
Shout out to everyone raising a child knowing they are most likely doing it wrong but just keep saying, 'he/she will be OK because I love them and that's all that matters,' said the midwife.
Shout out to our babies, for having us as parents.