Her story.

My name is Linda Im I'm 20. Seattle PNW I blog for me, not for you. BAP Bias♥ Softspot for EXO, B1A4, VIXX, Infinite, ect :) I'm a lowkey k-pop & random interests blog. Daehyun Biased, my ideal type xoxo Just a crazy girl with a messed up nogin. These are purely my thoughts.

[daejaebanglohimup]

Another 4am thought

I used to write here a lot. The past years I’ve grown more barriers than before. Can’t even feel that I can express myself openly without judgement so I gave up in general writing and blogging mostly. I shouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of silencing me. I shouldn’t change who I am because of the situation I’m in. Kind of glad I have this blog as a memorial of the girl I was. I need to continue to remember who she was and grow from her. I cant keep making her mistakes. I have to keep growing and learning from this.

[daejaebanglohimup]

Reminder to myself.

Dear Linda,

You are a beautiful person, and you deserve more than what your going through right now. You have been through this before, you are closing a door to open a new one. Your heart may be breaking in pieces right now, but a couple years from now, when you read this to yourself again and your living your beautiful life with your handsome husband-to-be planning your wedding, your future plans with him, you will see this and laugh to yourself thinking, “why did I get so worked up over a guy who could not see and embrace you, you are a diamond.” He let you go so you can find someone who will be most true to you and appreciate your existence every day of his life with you. He did you a favor. It may hurt right now, like a ton is weighing your heart down to your feet… You will rise up from this a more beautiful person. it is okay to cry because it’s expelling out all the weakness that was left inside you to create a stronger, better you. If your heart falters to him again, remember that you are a diamond and it is his loss that he could not see that when he had that chance. He has now lost his chance to another; your future husband-to-be. So after today, you need to pick yourself up and even if you must pretend to be happy then do it. One day, that happiness will be real and you will be the Linda in a couple of years reading this a better, beautiful, stronger person.

Love, yourself.

[daejaebanglohimup]

Personal

Rarely do I go on tumblr anymore. Maybe that's a mistake.. But whenever I feel the need to vent I always end up back here. Reading old posts from being with my ex really do break my heart. How much hurting I put myself through just so i could have another moment with him because I cared so much about him. Now here I am, almost 2 years later still going through that pain. I should have quit while I was ahead. Now I have to deal with all the memories I've made and all the time I spent being with someone who only saw me as expendable.

[therelatablepost]

[oh-teen-posts]

[untangle]

this poem had over 60k notes on my other blog but now that it’s gone so I thought I’d post it again idk?? 

[marktuon]

[kittenyeong]

[picsandquotes]

[daejaebanglohimup]

It’s been hard these past two weeks. I got to spend more time with him than I normally do. And I loved it. Now I have to go back to being without him till the weekends and I feel and emptiness in my heart though it’s only been a couple hours without him. He told me he doesn’t believe in love....

[daejaebanglohimup]

I think I am sad to the point where I feel depressed.

I've been feeling such a deep sadness lately. I know I shouldn't allow a boy to control me like this. Maybe it's because I'm afraid to loose something that is already so comfortable to me. Something familiar to me. Maybe it's because deep down I just try so hard to dig for his love and I don't receive it. Maybe I just yearn to be loved. To feel like I am special to somebody. By all means, I believe that I have the power to be with anyone I want to be with, nothing or no one is out of reach. But I chose him, and I wanted to be with him. No one else. And right now as I'm thinking about this.. I really have lost my will and my motivation to try anymore. It's taken so much out of me and I am just still so unhappy. Though I try and try again. I just keep getting hurt. I can't depend on him to make me happy. I can't even depend on myself to be happy anymore. It has been so hard picking myself up lately I feel pretty pitiful. Like I am acting like a weak little girl but I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I fake a smile with my friends, trying not to worry them, then as I sit alone in the quiet by myself, I just want to cry. I even just walk around trying to avoid my home just so I don't have to sit and drown in my thoughts. Something I terribly wrong with me. Maybe I just need to be alone and think about what I want, what truly makes me.... me. What is happiness? What kind of guy I really should be spending time on? What kind of guy would be my best companion? If I should even aspire a life of partnership, or should I just rather be alone? I just know one thing, it definitely hurts worse when I lose someone or they hurt me. If I hurt myself, I only have myself to blame. But I can never stay mad at myself for too long. When it comes to someone else, the feelings are just magnifies because you instill that hope and trust in them and once it's broken, it's just so hard to repair. I'm just a mystery to myself right now. I feel like my emotions have taken over my life right now. It's all I think about. I'm consumed by my sadness I can barely mask it in front of people. I have never been so angry with myself. Like why can't I just suck it up and deal with it? Be like one of those other girls that just go out and party and not care about past men in their life? I can't cure this. I'm not like them. I'm am just too full of feeling and I care too much about everything. there is something wrong with me.

[itgonnabeshining]

[oh-teen-posts]

[jinvoung]

get to know me meme: [ 2 / 5 ] favorite female biases → Im Jinah

[therelatablepost]

Click here for more personal!

[omg-relatable]

[wordsnquotes]

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

Robin Williams (via wordsnquotes)