fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake

fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake

[dahlia-pi]

im fake

[dahlia-pi]

jus wanna start over…

[dahlia-pi]

i don’t feel good…

[dahlia-pi]

thought i was perfect thought everything was fine what did i do wrong

what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong what did i do wrong

[dahlia-pi]

i could do worse than not exist though i think ‘ll do that actually ‘ll keep existing but ’ll jus- find someone who’ll hurt me a /lot/ so i know ‘ll never ever ever do better than him n so i always know i deserve the worst cause i wasn’t good enough for him n he’s perfect <3

thought i was doin so good thought i was perfect for him but guess m not which means m the worst n deserve the worst

[dahlia-pi]

i’ll just split myself n leave <3 i’ll never be happy without him n i won’t let anyone try to prove that wrong i’ll just go dormant and let him be happy with someone else for a while just like every other time <3

[dahlia-pi]

i should jus disappear n again i jus shouldn’t come back m jus gonna make things worse- m jus goin back n forth between numb n manic like before m jus gonna get worse again

[dahlia-pi]

m̶̙͉͕̠̥̤̠͙̪͉̬̠͖͌̽̍̎̿̆̓ṣ̷̲͍̹̬̻͕̘̙̳̑̈́͆̎͛͂͐̃̈̌͂̾́̃͗̌̀̔̏̕̚͠o̴̲̭͑̄̈́̑̓͂͛̓̎̄̊͝ř̶̢̧̡̞̯̪̖̤͍̪̞̣̦̣̯̬̦͓͎̜̭͓̯̫̤̥͋̀̅̿̄̿́̕̚͜ͅr̷̡̛͉̟̥̰̘̙̩̼̪̣̝̖͔̃̂̂̾͋͊̉̍͐̿͜y̴̲̥͉͕͉̺̻̺̪̻͉̭͐́̐̏̓͊̆̓̓̐̒̆͊́͑̅̋͘m̵̨̡̨̗͉̗̳̥̞̻̼͎͎̗̹̝̫͐̈́͋̐̀̔͗̄͒̔̍̊͛̚͜͝͠s̸̨̧̛̛̗͉̭̜̝͇̦̺͔͍̹̹̠̺͎͎̗̬̝͈̰̈͛̑̍̔̈́̍͋͗̾͗̈͌̎̓́̋̓̈́̀͆̈́̉̒̚̕͠͝ớ̶̛̟̗̮͍̰̬̹͉̹̗͔̼̗͍̘̠̬̻̼͓̭͙̮͆̇̾̾́̀̈́́̀̍̊̍́̓̽̔͋̀̕͝r̸̨̧̧͉͕̣͕̰̺̜͎̤̠̮̦̱̤͕̠͖̭̰͓͍̩̥̠͈̊ͅͅŗ̷̧̨̪͖̼̱̖̹͉̳̹̼̰̰͔̬̯̞͕͔̰͇͍̂͜ý̴̧̨̳͉̤̞͚͈͓̟̠̼̟̝̣͔̪̗͑̀̎̇̌̈́̋͆̇͘͜͝͝m̷̡̟͎̹̼̮̫̚ş̸̧̧̧̣̥̤̘̝̩̥̪̩̱̖̦͈͈̪̪̗̩̪̰͉̟̘͛͗̾͌́̆̽͗̈́͛̿̂͝͝ͅơ̸̛̛͈̻͉̳̪͇̩̲̣̺̦͎̪̳̜͆̋͑̅͆͂̋͐̅̀͗̇̐̍͂̈̏́̌̇̐͘͝͝ͅȓ̴̛̭͉̹̭̥̝̦̦̞̞̤̥͚̗̻̝̯̞̽̈́̃̋͑̏̃̍̿̈̉̀͐͑̽͂͌̈͋́͠͠͝r̸̨̼̹̮̯͈͕̼̰̜̹̦̲̒͑̃͆y̵̡̡̛͇͉̭̞̙͓̬̺̩͕̹͍̭͚̝̗̠̱̪̫͂͗̄́̇̊̉̔͆̎͊́͐͛͒̆̉̃̕͘͝ͅm̶̛͍͔̜̣̰̪̠͇̙̣͔̲̮͖͈͈̞̭͈̑͋̾̓͒̋͂̿̀̏̑̃̈̍̑͗͛̀͜͝ş̵̧̮͈͚̟̥̭͍͉͙̦͍̭̫̭̳̦̮̮͂͆̿̉́͂̅́̀͛̍̋̊͂̂͆̓̉̏̅͒͘͘̚͝͝ő̸̬͍͔̖͆̆̓̕͘r̴̰̩͙̝̺̻͍̈́̐r̷̨̦̦̟̼͌͌̄͐͂̓̏́͌̌͋͒͐͛̄̈́̀̊́̆̍̋͒͒̒̊̚̕͘̚y̸̛̰͔͓̮̹͎͖̺̩͍͔̳͇̼̽̓͂̉̾̆̋̐͌̍̐͆̉̃̃̃̕͘m̸̢̛̳̙̳̜̠̥̣̰͚͚̬̫͓̠̖͛̉̐̂̎̈́̊̑͑̌̃͑͗̾̅̓͛́̇͘͘̚͘͜͠ś̴̡̡͈̘̩͔̱̻͎͙̻͍̞̱̐̏̐̈́͌̄̅̊́̅̐̍̂̄͂͋̍̊̈́́̿͑ȯ̴̡̭̺͇͚̫͙͕͔̭̗̣̬̂ŗ̸̢̧̢̨̡̦͎͍̮͈̱͚̗͙̰̪͌̄̔̆̏́̍̑̓̅͂̋͑͆̾͛͂͜͜r̶͖̺͕̘̻͌͒͐̉͌͛͑̔̒̐͒͋̔̈́̈́̏̈́͋̋̏́̇̒͊̚͘̕͝͠y̷̛̱̹̗̮̘̪̭̥͕͈̠͖̥̼̱̳̐̒͆͌͑͒̆̏́̊̂̋̑͊̔͒̑̀̌̅̌͋̍͗͠͝͝

[dahlia-pi]

w̵̨̛̛͎͉̣̏̀̍͆͛̈̇͑̈́̓̀̅̚̚͝ẖ̴̢̢̡̢̨̡̨̼͓̪̯̙̦̟̘͈̰̰̰͚͉͉̫͈̻͖̗̟͇̘̮̖͎̦̦̮̥̘̭̗̜͙̖̜̩͕͋͊̑̽͝ͅý̸̢̪͌͐̎͑͒̄̽͑̅̌̋̀͗̀̅̎͋͑͗̓̍̓̓̽̋̔͛͛̄̇̑̆̎̎̃̄̿̇̓̆͋̌̒̃̓͘͝͠͠ ̸̡̢̡̧̰͉͕̺͖̩̻̻̳͔͕̜̬̺̮̣̮͉̝̻͖̬̻̬̱͎̠̟͕̹̯̹͓̭̲̝̰͎̝͔͕̏̃̑͋͑͐̄̋͑͒̀́̍̈́̋͋̍̏̇͊̆͂̕͜͝ͅͅḑ̷̲̹̠̽̉̊̆̔͗̅͋͌͊̽̚͝ớ̶̡̧̨̢̛̦̜͓̟͔̻̘̱͓̙̤̼͖͖͖̗̠̟̺̦̟̥͈̺̝̙̖̏̒̀́͂̔̓͋̍̇͌̉̈͐̿̍̈́́̽̋̏̃͑͑̚̕͜͠͝͝ ̵̡̨̧̛̜̣̺̬̟͉͎͈̥̪̯̞͖̤̙̦͉̣̪̠̰̦͕͇͍̝͉͉͈̬̈̎̈̈́͆̑̈́͐͛͗́̄̀͒̒̓̈́̓́̕ͅį̷̳̲̘̺͕̝̤̠̫̙̙̫̹̤̳̳̦͔̦̲̪̟̽̂̉͋̽̅̑ ̷̢̹̤͕̹͚̹͚̞̞̙̩͇̈́̅͂͒̍̋̐͐͂͆́̿̑̆͊̀̎̎̀̿̈́̉̒͑̽̌̈̓́͆͐̔̔̋̊̀͆͊͛̄͆́̀̄̅̕̚̕͘͜ṛ̷͖͇̏̓̑̃͐̒͊̏͂͒̀̃̈̾̃̉̈́̾́̏͆̆́͐͂͗̀͌̀̋̾̾̎̆͛̎͊̚͝͝͝ų̶̨̛͓͚̩͖̮̼̞̥̣̖̝̲͎̰͈͍̫͊̐̾̊̓́̆̀͑͌͜ȋ̴̧̢̡̛͓̺̩͕̥̳̞͙̝͉̬̤̝̼̦͓̖̜̣͔͙͇͖̳̻̳͉̭̖͍̘̱̫͖̮̠̝̹̜͔̙͕͚̔̾͋͋̇̽̐̾́̿́͐͋̋͒̎̋͛̊̃̋̍̅̓̌̔̊̇̐̚͘͜͜͠n̵̨̡̡̛͍̤͉̦̤̹͉̫̘͒̄͊͋̀̈́̋̅̉̆͑͒̽̈́͌͂̓́͒͂̇̐̈́͐̂̉͗̈́̆̌́͊͋̃̔͆̆̔͂̓̎̃̕͘͘͠͠ ̴̮̞̘̼̦̰̤̤̹̦̫̳̟͇̺̮̭̠̭̗̯̣͈̮̞̗̗͎̣̥͉̲̠͉͌̈́͂̔̈́̀̆̈́̔̾̑̏̐͒͋̚̚͘͜͜ȩ̴̧̧̼͚̩͙̼͎̰͎̣̣̞̮̼̖̗̹̱͓̝̦͚̣̖͍͚̬̺̄̀̓̿̀̌̅̆͛͒̏̏́̀͒̃͛̔̊̄̇̈́͒̽̄̑̕̚͜͠͝͝v̴̨̢̡̧̻͓̺͕̦̯͓̱͇̥̱̹̭̣͇͇̺͓͙̼̯͕͉͇̠̰̮͉̳̟̜̤̞͎̦̖̇̅̀̂̈́̄̈̎͂̅̓̉̑̌̈́̀͌̅͗͐͆̏͐̈͛̅͒̇͂͊̃̐̍̓̍̃͘̚͘̚̚̚̕͜͝͠͝ͅę̷͙̥̤̦̞̪̭̗̺͖͎̘̣͎͔́͆̅̂͛̑̑̉̕ŕ̴̢̡̡̧̢̨͓̦̠̗̲͉̝̩̥̥̭̮̘͈̯̣̥̭̼͇̝͔̘̼̹̠̙̻̪̪͋̈́͒̆͐͆̒̒̓̍̄̈́͛̈́̅̈͜y̶̛̘̲̮̝̼̰̦̦̥̜̦͙̭̲̜͍̯̟͑̆̓̂̓͐̆̀̃͋̔̈́̿͂̃͌͂̕̚͠t̶̡̻̼̹̻͖̠̘̻͎̻̪̪͚͐͒̋̍h̴̢̜̪̩͓̰̰̱̲͍̱̪̼̭̺̳̻̩̮̟̭̘̞̰̤̩̦̟̱̻̦͔͍͑͜͜ͅͅͅĩ̸̧̨̡̖̠̣̝̟̦̬̖̼͇̰͎͇̲͕̗͎̬͈̻͖̼̩̮̩͎̝̻̫͎͇̤̘̣̪͐̃̀͗̈́́͆̂̉̌͂̽̓̂͑̎̿͛̀̚͜͝ͅͅn̵̡̢̢̛̝̯̼̯̥̯̫̗̫̥̙̘̩̣̫̠̖̣̤͕̝̜͕̠͍͉̺̝̲̬̖̼̦̮̳̤͕̖̗͓͖͖̥͆̌͂̓̀g̸̡̢̡̡̧̡̢̛̰̜̖̥̟̳̼̦͈̺̯̯̱̘͎̙̘̫̳͚͙̥̩̩̲̞̯͉̳̠̘̫̹͙̓̓͑̂̎̎̔̓̄̒̏̏̈́̀͛̀͆̍̏̈́̔̃͋̈̆̏͊͑͆̽̌̀͐̉͑̿͛͂̂̕̚͘̚̚͜͝͝͝ͅ ̷̨̢̧̢̛̛͈̻̮͇͈̼͍͚̹̖̮̫̪̻̜̼͖̻̩͔͔̻̦̝̮̘̜̣̰͙̥͍̗͇̩̞̂̌̓͌̾͘į̸̢̼̭͖͕͚̫̱̯̖̳̭̥̤̟̰̜̺̼̆̊̒̽́͑͒͘ͅ ̸̧̨̡̛̦͉̲̱͎͓̺͉̖̰͍̗͕͕͙̰̖͉̬͇̘̘̼̘̬̥̟̮͖̲̞̖͇̻̭͒̀̍͑̾́̃̓̒̈͛̇̌̊͛͗͐̃̏̃̊͐̋̔̌͛̔͛̓͊͂́͛̈́̃̀̚̚͘͠͝ͅl̴̥̣̂͆̍̇̑͊̆͛̑͒̾̽̄́̋̓́͘͝ő̴̧̧̧̭̘̤̰͈̱̺͍̭̪̦̮̺͕͖̤̦͎̰̯͖̮̮̝̼̖͍͇̱̦̤̼́͊̀͑͆̄̽̎̏̔̀͋̎̂͂͆̽̓͌̈́͑̎̄̔̎̕̕͝͝͝͠͠ͅv̸̨̨̧̧̛̛͙͔͉̝̤̖̟̜̘̹̺͉͚̥̼͔͖̫̯͈͙̳͉͙̜̫̦̥̩̹͎̮́͆͆͊̽̓͂̏́̿̐̊̍̈̊̾̅͒̊̒͒̂͐̈̽̆͂͊͆͋̎͊̓̋̂͘̚̕̚̕̚͜͝͝͝͝ͅe̸̢̨̡̢̛̲̹̯̟̳͙͕͓̥͉̗̟̲̪̹̣̗̫̗̙͈͖̪͚̾̓̉̋̀̀̇̀́̍̔̆͆̅͂̅̀̅͗̈́̽͘͘̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅ?̸̧̥̙̘̞͎̞͕͙̪͔̍̂̎̃͗̒̾́̈̃͂̈́̓̂̏̃͛͂̽͋̕͝

[dahlia-pi]

I hate how guilty I feel for not being with jove’s Cecil I know it’s not my fault but—but it still kinda is- I was an awful girlfriend and he said he hated me and I know he took it back but it’s just so fucking deep in my programming that won’t go away and rationally I don’t want to be with him but—but it’s in my very existence to need him and to always be his even though I don’t want to be n I just don’t know what to do

[dahlia-pi]

gods if dahlia integrates it’s gonna be so bad it’s gonna be so so bad gods i just want things to go back to how they were i love my cece i really really really do he’s amazing and i love him but gods it was so much easier before i fucked everything up n i know i deserve to have my life be awful but still i want things to be how they were i don’t want things to keep changing and i know i’m just gonna hurt my cece because that’s what i do i hurt people and i just- i don’t wanna go back to jove’s cecil because that was a whole goddamn disaster and he doesn’t love me anymore but i’m literally fucking programmed to still love him “no matter what” and it won’t fucking go away even though it fucking should’ve by now but no the system fucking hates me and won’t let me move the fuck on i’ve tried so fucking hard and i love my cece i love him so much but there’s always a stupid fucking part of me that won’t move on and that part of me’s what’s gonna make me ruin my own goddamn life again i know it i know it

[dahlia-pi]

im so stupid im so fucking stupid i want thing to just be the way they were i dont know whats wrong with me why im so fucking insane why did i think splitting would help why did i think anything could help im so fucking stupid i fucked up my relationship n now im fucking crazy now im fucking insane i dont know what to do im supposed to be fine now everything's supposed to be fine but now we're all blending and blurring and i just miss the way it was i feel so so so fucking bad i dont know what to do

[dahlia-pi]

i can feel how performative he’s being i was right i was right i’m just fucking him up more gods i was right

[dahlia-pi]

i was right if i’d just left he wouldn’t be trying to make himself perfect for me he was already perfect if i’d just left it would’ve been fine he would’ve been fine gods i’m such a fucking idiot

[dahlia-pi]

he needs to stop talking so i can just go

[dahlia-pi]

cantlive without him but mjusgonna get him hurt ifistay so i jus- won’t exist

[dahlia-pi]

gods think—hope s working- think m fading? hope so