Dad's Daily Dose Of Daggy Dad Jokes

For All Your Absolutely Appalling Dad Joke Needs. Submissions Excepted and Encouraged. The Worse They Are, The Better.

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Doors and all

What’s a door’s favourite type of joke?

Knock Knock

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All Aboard!

How do Trains eat and drink their meals?

Chugga-Chugga-Chugga-Chugga Chew Chew!

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Poor Eeyore

What do you call a three legged donkey?

A Wonkey!

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Similarities

What do Parking Lots and Elephant have in common?

They’re both grey and can’t fly.

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Legless Canine

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

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Flightless

What’s grey, white and can’t fly?

A parking lot.

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Switzerland!

There are many things that are great about Switzerland.

And the flag is a big plus!

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Paint Job

What’s yellow and smells like red paint?

Yellow Paint

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Cold? No Worries!

If you are ever cold, go stand in a corner.

It’s usually 90 degrees!

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Liar, Liar

My Grandpa used to say; “Never Trust An Atom.”

“They make up everything!”

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Body Parts

Do you know why you can’t have a 12″ nose?

‘Cause then it’d be a foot!

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Out of this World!

Have you heard about the new food joint on the Moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.

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Fishes and Crabs

Why do crabs never give to charity?

‘Cause they’re shellfish!

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Monthly Parade

Will Febuarary March?

No, but April May!

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Up and Down, Up and Down

I know a guy who was terrified of elevators.

He took steps to avoid them.

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Just keep Swimming

How do you know if a pool is safe for diving?

It deep ends!

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Singing Insects

What’s an insect’s favourite musical note?

Bee!