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@dailysvu #Carisi Week // Day 6: Nightmare & Bonus: Shower
WC: 1036, Rated: T, light angst mostly fluff, post s22
After kissing Carisi for the first time, Rollins started getting nightmares of losing him to circumstances he otherwise walked away from. The dreams were jarring, but nothing that shook her until she reimagined how Henry Mesner attacked her former partner in open court. This time instead of a wooden pencil, the 18-year-old grabbed a gun off a bailiff and Carisi was on the ground in a pool of his blood and brains before Amanda could do a thing.
She jerked awake in her bed. Next to her, Sonny didn’t stir, but by her feet, Frannie’s collar jingled as she picked up her head. It was another night of many where he came over after work and they quietly disappeared together after Jesse and Billie fell asleep. Her breath slowly came back to her. From her back, her hair scattered on the pillow, Amanda turned her head to see him facing her, sleeping soundly. She reached over her stomach and turned her body inwards to touch his face.
Sonny didn’t wake up at first. Her hand against his cheek was gentle and it was enough of a comfort to feel his breath against her wrist. He gradually stirred, becoming aware of her touch. It wasn’t hurried like it was time to wake up or teasing like she wanted more than to rest next to him, but still nice to wake up to for she was his dream.
“Hey,” he sleepily mumbled.
“Hi,” Amanda whispered back, raking her thumb against his stubbly skin. “I’m...I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You can’t sleep?” he asked, concerned.
“No...it’s...oh, it’s nothing.”
“You’re sure?”
Frannie jumped off the bed and nosed her way through the bedroom door that was open a crack.
“Just a bad dream,” she admitted. Carisi was quiet and let her come to him because if he asked she wouldn’t talk. She bit the inside of her cheek, sighed, and retrieved her hand from his face. “A few actually...like I keep losing you...and it happens over and over and--”
Sonny shushed her gently and pulled at the sheets resting between them. The bed creaked as he slid to her. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s all good. I’m here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
He was warmer than her body heat under the comforter. It was nice to have him close, though at the same time Amanda didn’t want to be coddled. She meant to swallow the nightmare down and go back to sleep hoping it was the last time she’d see the man holding her die.
“Yeah, you never really have a choice,” Rollins flatly said. There was confusion in his exhale. With her arms against his chest, she fidgeted with the white undershirt he wore to bed. “Like...the Hunter case, you’re the one under a sheet in the intersection. Henry Mesner takes a bailiff’s gun and shoots you point blank before I can stop him…”
He chose his next words carefully as it was hard to hear hers. Sonny tightened his arm around her and brought their foreheads together. He looked into her eyes even though it was dark. “Good thing I made it then, huh?”
She hadn’t been crying but her laugh sounded like a sob. “Yeah.”
With a gentle smile, he squeezed her shoulder and moved to stroke her hair with the back of his hand before stretching to kiss her forehead. Amanda let out the pent-up air in her lungs.
“That’s better,” he said, returning to eye level.
She hummed and this time brought both hands to his face and at the foot of the bed crossed their ankles under the covers. Their relationship was new but he made her feel safe long before that.
“I’m afraid to look what time it is,” Rollins said after a few minutes of quiet closeness.
He too wanted to ignore the fact that it was likely close to dawn on a Thursday morning, but Carisi took the sacrifice and bent back to tap his phone on the nightstand.
“Yeah, I’ve gotta get up soon,” he sighed, stretching to pull the charging cable out. From his back, he turned off the alarm that would go off in twelve minutes.
Amanda rolled onto her stomach and hovered over his shoulder, glancing at his phone. “It’s not even 4:30 am.”
“I’ve gotta go in early, remember? It was kinda the condition of me comin’ over last night.”
“If I say no, do you still have to go?”
Sonny chuckled and pivoted on his elbow. “And you know I still have to shower, change, all that...I can’t keep showing up in the same suit I’ve got Petrovsky again today.”
“That was never an issue for Detective Carisi.”
“Oh, what that one time?” he laughed, “at least it’s not my dry-cleaner this time.”
“Good for you,” Amanda teased, poking his arm. A lucky man, he grinned and shook his head.
“You know,” she started again. “You could start showering here, it’d save you some time.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Carisi thought about it for a second. “Alright,” he said, peeling off the covers and swinging his legs to the side of the bed. “You’ll have to show me how it works though.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Just a little. Join me."
“Oh,” Amanda half-giggled. “I...it’s a little cramped in there, we might wake the girls…”
Sonny stood up and stretched his shoulders with a nervous laugh. “We don’t gotta do anythin’.” He dropped his arms by his sides before extending his hand out to her. “Though, I’m not opposed...just keep me company.”
She tucked her legs under her to scoot to the further side of the bed and rose to meet him. Without letting go of her fingers, he touched her chin with his other hand. “Also thought you wouldn’t wanna be alone.”
Her face softened with a sweet smile and after a nod, she stretched up to kiss him. No wonder she feared his loss.
“Alright, c’mon,” she said, lowering off her toes. “I want enough time to go back to bed.”
With a grin, Sonny nodded towards the door for her to lead them across the hall where Amanda would find a new way to dream about him.
Me: I’m not going to write something for every day of Carisi Week.
Also me:
Day 1: Heartbeat
Day 2: Off Duty
Day 3: Trust
Day 4: “What is this between us?”
Day 5: “Are you okay?”
Day 6: Nightmare
Day 7: Secrets
Thank you so much to Mag & Cherie at @dailysvu for organising this! I’ve really enjoyed it <3
Day 7: Secrets
(AKA another excuse for a “how the squad find out” fic)
Read on AO3
The Saturday morning trip to the zoo is long belated - Noah and Jesse have been asking to go for months but with one thing and another - Elliot Stabler crashing back into Liv’s life, Amanda’s father stumbling back into hers - they’re only now finding a day when they are both free from both professional and social obligations.
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