Daisy Bellis

[daisybellismusic-blog]

GET NAKED

[explicit content]

We have been told to keep our clothes on for far too long, and why? Not because we are in danger, not because we are cold, but because we have grown ashamed of the human body. Someone who decides to strip is told, ‘You should be ashamed of yourself!' Today, apparently exposing too much skin somehow gives others a glimpse into one’s sexuality. It is our discomfort that has spawned jealousy, and has laid down the foundation for repression. Our discomfort is currently waging war on who really are, leaving us victims to agendas and leading us to conditional freedom. We’ve let our clothes become our identities for far too long, and now the only option left is to get naked!

THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN SKIN

Jealousy is in the eyes of many prisoners especially the ones who are trapped in their own bodies. When we experience jealousy, we are dealing with a pit of emotion. The only thing lying at the bottom of this pit is a sea, a sea of denial. Every jealous moment is met with the urge to jump. Ordinarily, this plunge would cause us to meet our demise, but the sea of denial is high enough to catch our fall. Jealousy comes hand and hand with sexuality because our beauty is typically not unconditional. Our mirrors show us our flaws, and without clothing to distract from these flaws, we feel they are magnified for the one’s we show our naked bodies to. That is until we believe our bodies are good enough for our sexual partner. But ‘good enough’ is never good enough. That is the factor that leaves us unable to contain the jealousy in our hearts when we put ourselves around others we dub ‘flawless’, or simply, ‘less-flawed.’

There are two types of people in this world, or at least in this blog entry: the ones who are comfortable in their skin and the ones who are uncomfortable in their skin. The uncomfortable make up the majority of Americans because that is the way American media has conditioned them. How can they feel comfortable when every voice in Hollywood tells them otherwise? The comfortable are the one’s who were likely to be conditioned more on what they think of themselves. The uncomfortable ones will have jealous hearts and the comfortable will be the rivals. The rivalry will consist of a barrage of attacks on behalf of the uncomfortable in the name of the ‘children’, ‘well-being’, and any other bullshit that can be twisted into a floatation device on their sea of denial. Neither side is right-or-wrong for being the way they are, they are different.---both have something to learn from one another. However, it is when one takes action to infringe the rights of another that we must take aim and puncture holes into their rafts, forcing them to recognize the sea they’re sailing on.

SEX AND LOVE

Sex is a product of emotion. Emotion doesn’t have to make sense and is sometimes beyond reason. Similar to the way that an ocean needs no reason for the waves it causes, only the right conditions. As we know, under the right conditions a hurricane will form, and as we have found out sometimes there is very little difference between a hurricane and our sex-drive. That being said, love is not one of the conditions needed for sex to occur. We don’t always love the person we fuck, nor do we fuck the person we love. However, when love is added to sex it goes from 'just sex' to ‘great sex’. Love adds the cum to passion. What does this mean? Well, let’s get x-rated for a minute and say that when we have an orgasm, we don’t always feel like we’ve cum. We came and saw as quick as the sex came and went. There was merely a heightened sensation, no long-lasting euphoria, and the climax was more like a ‘rising action’. Cumming is the ecstasy behind the orgasm, the one that causes the eyes to roll back and feels like we are connection to all senses. Love will continue to make these moments last and the great sex will make you love the sex with the one you love. 

SEXUALITY/REPRESSION

Sexuality is something that has become another ‘taboo’ of this nation. Have you ever walked into a sex shop and felt like you were doing something wrong for being there? That’s probably because they are located in the most obscure areas and practically camouflaged in shopping centers, or maybe it’s because their windows are completely blacked out like a fucking crack house, and there’s never a human being in the remote vicinity of the parking lot. There are two reasons for this: A. Most men who make it there feel like they’ve just found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and never want to leave. B. Many of couples are so out of touch with spicing up their sex life that they don’t know what the hell they’re looking at when they walk in. So by the time anyone makes up their mind, they believe they have found the holy grail of pornography or sex-toys so they can hardly contain themselves long enough to make it to the car, let alone get home for their enjoyment. Some scoff as these individuals and call them pathetic. Is this pathetic? Absolutely not. Those who believe that sex is a privilege are pathetic. Those who only expose their genitals to a toilet need to remember that we are sexual beings no matter how many layers of clothing we wear.

It’s the repression that keeps us putting sex on a pedestal (or sleeping on the couch). We’ve been conditioned this way to think that sex is some kind of miraculous gift that we have to offer to one another partially due to parents covering the eyes of children when tits pop up on the screen. We're unable to become comfortable with sexuality to begin with. And the consequence is sexual confusion, immaturity, and lastly sexual repression. Because parents allow the FCC to raise their children, they put their trust in the FCC. Therefore, whatever the FCC deems unfit is without a doubt, unfit. Sexuality then becomes a grey area for most American children to learn whatever they can from their might-as-well-be-celibate teachers at school who use acorns and bananas to represent a cock because it’s ‘politically correct’. Hell, we learned more stumbling into our parent’s rooms late at night or discovering our parent’s pornography than actually attending sex-education. Can we honestly question or wonder where sexual our repression is coming from?

MORAL/POLITICAL AGENDA

As adults, our sexual repression seems to boil down to the morals we possess. These morals are without a doubt, conditional. The carnal instinct in all of us begs for the rights to be broken and the wrongs to be recounted. Don’t blame Daisy Bellis, blame the Endocrine System. If we rely soley on our morality to keep us out of trouble then what is the purpose of our intellect? Morals are irrational because they are based on a given situation that most of the time will never apply. We all know how to put pieces of a puzzle together, but it’s damn near impossible if we don’t have a table or a hard surface to put the puzzle on. Morals assume that we have a table with proper lighting and 50 other people to help us put together a gajillion piece puzzle that is one day’s worth of possibilities.

America would love to believe that our moral agenda is thriving with a list that is congruent with the political one. And we would love to believe that America would love to believe that. The truth is America doesn’t give a shit about your morals. The moral agenda doesn’t exist in politics because the moral agenda is an illusion, in and of itself. Politicians just like to humor us. Any moral agenda exacted by a politicians inadvertently becomes a political one. That being said, nudity is only indecent if it cannot be maximized for profit. Porn is okay, prostitution isn’t. Why is this? Because porn makes billions and whores are gross. Less frankly, prostitution cannot be regulated to maximize long-term revenue. Those are the economic reasons. The real reason is because America likes to sell fantasies. America doesn’t like reality because reality doesn’t sell. Experience does not amplify desire unless we purchase the fantasy to begin with. It’s that simple. We are not allowed to be satisfied unless we are willing to pay the right price for that satisfaction, and the satisfaction we do earn is guaranteed to never meet up to the hype we are sold. Think about it, why do marketing companies specialize in dramatization? To make fantasy look attainable. If we have sex with prostitutes, regulated and safely. Then we are getting precisely what we pay for. Where is the business in that? That’s not the American way because there is no ‘way’, remember? It’s a dream…An American Dream.

PRIVACY

Everyone knows what is being discussed when we use the word ‘private part’. That doesn’t mean it makes any fucking sense. The word ‘private’ cannot be given to a body part because the part belongs to a person therefore privacy is based soley on the discretion of the individual. What is private to you is not inherently private to others. So, saying that Girls Gone Wild involves women showing their private parts is utterly stupid because if you’ve ever seen Girls Gone Wild, the girls act like the clothing is invading their privacy. Furthermore, you are not forced to watch someone expose their ‘private parts’. Hell, you’re not “forced” to watch anything and in the off chance that you are---an invasion of privacy is probably the last thing you have to worry about.

NUDITY/PORNOGRAPHY

Often times, nudity is met with the saying, “it doesn’t leave enough to the imagination.” The body is reality. The body is not meant to be left to the imagination. Anyone would agree that the best fantasy is met with the point of realization. The point of realization is when the dream comes true. People like nudity so they can see a naked body, the fantasy is the wonder over the person naked. The point of realization is…seeing the person naked. So, the next time someone says ‘it doesn’t leave enough to the imagination’ the proper response is, “That’s what the clothes were for.”

As far as pornography is concerned, pornography satisfies the visual stimulation that someone craves to strengthen their imagination. Men are not the only ones who crave visual stimulation, nor are women the only ones who crave emotional stimulation. These are the generalizations that make it more difficult to understand one another and help each other grow as sexual beings. For some, pornography is not necessary. For others, it is. The worst thing you can do is create another route to repression. Many people argue that pornography is addictive. Many people should examine the sex-life in which porn is the scapegoat. Addictions are just habits with a chemical dependency. See, everyone rushes to save someone ‘addicted to pornography,’ but what about the individuals addicted to premature ejaculation? Who will save them?

CONCLUSION

We are an interesting culture to say the least. We are all craving that sexual attention that we are in desperate need of, but most of us are ashamed to say so and it makes us feel powerless. When we feel powerless, sex becomes another obstacle to ‘overcome’, but there is no overcoming instinct. We are who we are. Our sex-life makes us feel attractive, it gives our ego a warm embrace, and it allows us to connect to another on an indescribable level. If you’re with someone who doesn’t understand your sexuality then can you really say you’re with them? Men think about sex throughout the day, women think about sex throughout the day, if no one’s being satisfied then who are these men and women thinking about? Sex isn’t difficult, its just requires attraction. We don’t have sex with people we’re not attracted to, and if we do, it’s definitely not great sex. Getting naked requires more than taking off clothing. It is the point of realization that you have waited for from the American Dream. Freedom. Uncensored and Unconditional We all deserve to be with someone who understands the importance of our sexuality. We all deserve to be free from shame and jealousy. We all deserve great sex. And we all deserve to feel the most comfortable in our own skin.

-DB

[daisybellismusic-blog]

I have returned.

Ah..It feels so good to be back! I got locked out for a while there. Safe to say that tumblr and I do not like one another. In light of this, I am taking my business elsewhere. That's right IAMDAISYBELLIS is moving already. However, this site will continue to function during the transition. So, fear not! My wisdom and my controversial insight will continue to offend you or inspire you until I have new grounds to do it all over again! This should probably be under the "news" tab..but no one checks that anyway. The next entry "Get Naked" 1/13/12. -DB

[daisybellismusic-blog]

QUEER AS TRADITION

Living in fear is like counting down. Refusing yourself the opportunity for new perspective will leave you bankrupt of change, and respecting and repeating this way of life/thinking is said to be traditional. Traditions provided us with a blanket that protected us from a world that was once 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Though, as we get older and the coldest shoulders cause the temperature to drop, the blanket will only secure us with one thing: the fear of letting go. Our attachment to these traditions create the ‘moral fabric’ and it will continue to manifest until this blanket is used to cover what we don’t like, shield ourselves, and smother the fire of individuality. With these powers combined, we’ve got Homophobia!

(Human rights campaigners say Iran falsely convicts gay men of other crimes to execute them) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-493570/Gays-tortured-hanged-says-Iranian-minister-meeting-British-MPs.html

Homophobia begins with the parents. It occurs when a parent’s fear consumes the way they raise their children. As opposed to providing the tools and knowledge necessary to learn how to protect themselves, these parents would rather carry a gun, and fire at anyone who ‘endangers their child’ by asking the wrong questions or bringing up the wrong topic. These traditions of oppression and fear act like bleach on child’s mind. Like every other surface that bleach touches, the color is burned away by the chemical destruction---In this case, the colors of the mind are ‘wiped clean’, and the rainbow that was once embraced has become a white-void.

Through the ages of 7-12, ‘No’ is a powerful word and when it comes hand and hand with a lazy explanation as to why we say no, it becomes a weapon. “Because I said so.” That’s not a reason. “I don’t feel comfortable with you doing that.” There we have an open line of communication. How can we expect our children to explain themselves when we never gave them the time for our own explanations? Routine dismissals can become tools for our youth to use to justify their oppression, “Why don’t you like homosexuals?” “Because they’re gay.” This is no more logical, or anymore tolerable than a parent saying, “No.” “Why?” “I said no!” When an open line of communication is closed the mind becomes a tunnel. When a revered adult sets an example of this authoritative tyranny, verbal or physical, the child is likely to covet their newborn tradition: oppression.

 An 8-year-old boy decides that he wants to try ballet. His father is a middle class man with a military background. His mother plays a role in supporting the family, but the decisions are the father’s to make. He approaches his dad with his developing interest. “Dad, would you be able to take me to try out for ballet some time soon?” The boy is quickly taken back by the disgust on his father’s face. His father scoffs and replies, “Why don’t you play football like a normal boy?” In fear of disappointing his father, the child becomes proficient in both football and baseball, and his father couldn’t be more proud!

The story that just unfolded is a seemingly harmless situation. One that many adults of today could relate to their childhood. Though, this tale of encouragement is one that could haunt the child for the rest of his years. Later in life, the boy will be due to meet in court---his judge named, ‘Over’ and his jury, ‘Compensation’. Over & Compensation will play a pivotal role in his development, and eventually sentence the Heterosexual to Homosexuality or Homophobia. Here are two examples as to how his story could unfold:

1. He will resent his father for the pressures that he put on him as a child and his dad’s inability to accept his femininity could result in bisexuality along with homosexuality simply as a form of rebellion. 

2. The more common result is that the child will experience a major repression of femininity where he abuses and/or rejects others the way his father did to him. His primary target will be boys comfortable and are able to express their feminine side.

These are two contrasted results of expression and repression. Scenario 1 is based on the notion that homosexuality is not a choice. Scenario 2 is built on the fear instilled by father or father figure. As with life, the story can go many different ways depending on the aggression of the father and repression of the child. Were the son a homosexual, the internal struggle becomes a hail of gunfire with greater chances to leave a teenager dead over a misunderstanding.

The reasons for adult homophobia differ greatly from adolescent. It isn’t because people hate others by nature, it isn’t because homosexuals are easy targets, or even that adults disagree with a homosexual way of life. It is because they are afraid to agree. Homosexuals bend and break the strongest foundation of traditional thinking, ‘a man and a woman.’ Each of us currently have a set of characteristics and expectations that define gender. Homosexuals inadvertently force many to re-evaluate those ‘guidelines’. If even for a second that we believe our definition of man is wrong then, “Who are we?!” “What else are we wrong about?!” Fear screams loud and the risk of crippling a comfortable belief system has gotten be too great. So, instead of conquering the mind’s new challenge, we would rather fire off an arsenal of values and traditions at the Homosexual that caused the challenge to begin with.

The common denominator is one that has reared its ugly head more times than we’re willing to admit, fear. We’re afraid and we’re afraid to be afraid.  Fear is a tradition in and of itself. Your mother’s fear of flying might inhibit you from flying. The products of fear, however, collect more attention than the actual brand: stress, insecurity, jealousy, depression, overcompensation, narcissism, etc. We attempt to eliminate the symptoms while the sickness spreads and becomes an epidemic. Its true that facing our fear is crucial, but it’s a step that many people give themselves too much credit for. In order to not be a victim to cancer, it takes more than an ultrasound.

The problem is not tradition. It is our stranglehold and the refusal to question the traditions we uphold. We live in a world that is forever changing, and too many traditions undermine this phenomenon by saying, “This is how it will be.” “This how is has to be.” Its up to us to say, “Or what?” This is confronting our way of thinking, telling our mind that we always have the ability to overcome the challenges presented. As we get older, we need to re-evaluate our belief system, what does our belief system mean to us? Why don’t we agree with this particular set of beliefs? What prevents us from understanding? Who influenced our way of thinking? These are all questions we can utilize to feed the fire burning in all of us. Our beliefs are what maintain the fire of individuality, and as long we embrace the change and are unafraid of new perspectives, tradition will never stand a chance at putting that fire out.

[There is one thing that I need to add here. We talk about how sexuality doesn't affect what we think about someone, but that is false. Sexuality determines much of what we think about someone. If you are experiencing someone fighting back their homosexuality, you are more likely to encounter someone who is repressed by nature, naturally envious of those who aren't trapped in their own skin. This just one of hundreds of examples of the inevitable changes in character due to sexuality. Sex lives are kept behind closed doors to respect someone's boundaries, not because they need to remain secret. Sexuality is a part of our being just as much as jobs are. It's another title. We all aim to be able to express the love we love to feel, gay or straight. It's very healthy to discuss and be able to discuss sex with others.

There is a difference between sexual preference and sexual orientation. Familiarizing yourself with someone's sexual orientation is specified for familiarity. Familiarizing yourself with someone's preference is generalized for acceptance. For instance, your preference of Mexican or Italian food does not familiarize someone with the plate you prefer. The plate would be the orientation, the familiarizing.

Boundaries are set in place to ensure someone does not find out more than desired, this is fine. This is not familiarity. Familiarity leaves more room for error and conflict to arise. So, someone might be thinking 'I don't have a problem with homosexuality, just don't talk to me about it.' This is accepting preference. However, they need to make sure that this is a boundary placed on heterosexuals as well. Otherwise, it is a double standard, and maybe they like the idea of being accepting, but they're not fully there yet. Afterall, there is no such thing as 'half-free'. Acceptance is about giving those you care about equal understanding, an equal opportunity to become a loved one. If you care about them, respect them and listen the way you would others.]

In order to change the world, we must change with the world.

2011

-DB

For my uncle, Bob Tober. A victim to AIDS in 1995. He is remembered for his musical ability, his generosity, and his open heart to love everyone. His father died in 2010, never knowing his son was gay. R.I.P.

[daisybellismusic-blog]

LOVE IS EVOL: The Path of Understanding

[explicit content]

Does anyone know what this means? ‘Love is evol’? This isn’t a meaning for you to twist like a rusty knife, or another reason to believe that love has failed you. This isn’t a persuasive essay on the absence of love, or one to convince you to move forward without it. This is the beginning of our EVOLution.  

Love is green. Love is the air we breathe. Without love, our chests constrict, our hearts become heavy, and the world seems like an enemy. It’s brutal, love is. It’s a fucking drug that you become addicted to, want more of, and even withdrawal from. Why is this? Why does love become that bitter pill that we don’t want to swallow, but experience the high from? Because we are attempting to understand others before we understand ourselves.

Our minds cannot live without understanding. It’s in our nature. “The mind loves traps.” [Neil Sharma]. And it traps us everyday: Wondering what it would be like to tell your boss to fuck off? Wondering what someone else’s embrace would feel like? Taking on a rubix cube? You think riding someone’s ass is a good idea until you find out they have a concealed weapons license.. Your mind isn’t a villain. It’s just a problem solver, and when it has no problems to solve, it will make one for you. It will continue to systematically seek a puzzle and put it together as efficiently as we allow. Though like everything else, our thought process has an Achille’s Heel. It seems the mind will always struggle to solve the puzzle of emotions.

 Emotions are the product of collision between the heart and mind. Does ‘emotional thinking’ really exist? Anger can’t think, sadness can’t think. They react on impulse, too much emotion will create an act of desperation. What do we say after we commit an act of desperation? “I wasn’t thinking.” That’s our way of saying emotion is thinking for us? Emotion is like a sea that the mind is tempted to cross without the means to do so. Thoughts will fight to stay above the water, desperately clinging to a lifeboat that is the heart, but sometimes that boat will overturn, and all clairvoyance and understanding becomes illusion and desperation. This is typically what ends many relationships. It’s no longer ‘setting sail’, it’s more like ‘trying to stay afloat’, and loving becomes just another act of desperation.   

People are in denial when they no longer feel love mainly because they do not want to face the fact that they no longer have it for themselves. Have you ever felt what you don’t have? Most would call that dreaming. The truth is no one wants to feel weak or insignificant so they will settle for lonely and desperate. It is this desperation that brings us comfort, thinking we know who we are until we become the people we hate. Understanding becomes ‘understood’, and our acceptance to answers without question put us behind bars with a sentence we never thought we’d be facing. Isn’t the first rule of understanding knowing that there is always something more to learn? People should never be ‘understood’, ‘understood’ is a write-off, a fucking red stamp that’s followed by, “next!” Most people forget who they are and how much potential they have because they are with someone who is dealing with the same internal conflict, thus the vicious social circle of fighting and misunderstandings begin.

What is worse, fighting or misunderstanding? If you said fighting, think about this.. How many fights begin without a misunderstanding? Not many. A fight will typically last for minutes, a misunderstanding can last for years! Misunderstanding is loveless. If you truly love someone, you find the will to understand them and you will help them understand you. Should the situation be swept under the rug, it’s merely collecting dust until someone decides the rug is the problem. Misunderstandings are typically the consequence of predictions. These misunderstanding will become the haunting of the happy home that was once known as a relationship. When did we become psychic? Apparently, when we entered a relationship. Monotony, routine, no-spark, stale?--all of these things are said when we think we can predict the one we ‘love’. Prediction is a powerful illusion that is unleashed by a desperate mind. It is a ghost that looms over human connection, waiting to expose the next ‘fuck up’. Predictions spawn from certainty. When we begin to predict our loved ones, we are robbing ourselves of the ability to see the change. This could be positive or negative. Nevertheless, letting go of our predictions will allow us to see what is really there instead of pretending that we know.

Love is as complicated as we make it. It’s hard to admit, but when we feel the need to complicate it we are more interested in the idea of love than the experience of it. Do we have to convince ourselves of reasons to love our 'loved ones'? Do we have to present a list of pros and cons for the friends we’d give the shirt on our backs for? No, it is understood. This is love in its pure element. Harmony and balance will accompany this connection naturally, emotion will spice it up, and the mind will overcome its' presented challenge using understanding as its’ guidance. This is a harmonious-functional cycle. If you find yourself outside of this cycle, find a way to get back in it because it how you deserve to live. Love is not a beach you are shipwrecked on. Love is the world in your hands. It’s just a matter of conditioning yourself before you reach your destination. Forgive the past and embrace the present as it unfolds a beautiful future. For love will always be found down the path of understanding, and here, love is our evolution.

2011

-DB

[daisybellismusic-blog]

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