LOVE IS EVOL: The Path of Understanding
Does anyone know what this means? ‘Love is evol’? This isn’t a meaning for you to twist like a rusty knife, or another reason to believe that love has failed you. This isn’t a persuasive essay on the absence of love, or one to convince you to move forward without it. This is the beginning of our EVOLution.
Love is green. Love is the air we breathe. Without love, our chests constrict, our hearts become heavy, and the world seems like an enemy. It’s brutal, love is. It’s a fucking drug that you become addicted to, want more of, and even withdrawal from. Why is this? Why does love become that bitter pill that we don’t want to swallow, but experience the high from? Because we are attempting to understand others before we understand ourselves.
Our minds cannot live without understanding. It’s in our nature. “The mind loves traps.” [Neil Sharma]. And it traps us everyday: Wondering what it would be like to tell your boss to fuck off? Wondering what someone else’s embrace would feel like? Taking on a rubix cube? You think riding someone’s ass is a good idea until you find out they have a concealed weapons license.. Your mind isn’t a villain. It’s just a problem solver, and when it has no problems to solve, it will make one for you. It will continue to systematically seek a puzzle and put it together as efficiently as we allow. Though like everything else, our thought process has an Achille’s Heel. It seems the mind will always struggle to solve the puzzle of emotions.
Emotions are the product of collision between the heart and mind. Does ‘emotional thinking’ really exist? Anger can’t think, sadness can’t think. They react on impulse, too much emotion will create an act of desperation. What do we say after we commit an act of desperation? “I wasn’t thinking.” That’s our way of saying emotion is thinking for us? Emotion is like a sea that the mind is tempted to cross without the means to do so. Thoughts will fight to stay above the water, desperately clinging to a lifeboat that is the heart, but sometimes that boat will overturn, and all clairvoyance and understanding becomes illusion and desperation. This is typically what ends many relationships. It’s no longer ‘setting sail’, it’s more like ‘trying to stay afloat’, and loving becomes just another act of desperation.
People are in denial when they no longer feel love mainly because they do not want to face the fact that they no longer have it for themselves. Have you ever felt what you don’t have? Most would call that dreaming. The truth is no one wants to feel weak or insignificant so they will settle for lonely and desperate. It is this desperation that brings us comfort, thinking we know who we are until we become the people we hate. Understanding becomes ‘understood’, and our acceptance to answers without question put us behind bars with a sentence we never thought we’d be facing. Isn’t the first rule of understanding knowing that there is always something more to learn? People should never be ‘understood’, ‘understood’ is a write-off, a fucking red stamp that’s followed by, “next!” Most people forget who they are and how much potential they have because they are with someone who is dealing with the same internal conflict, thus the vicious social circle of fighting and misunderstandings begin.
What is worse, fighting or misunderstanding? If you said fighting, think about this.. How many fights begin without a misunderstanding? Not many. A fight will typically last for minutes, a misunderstanding can last for years! Misunderstanding is loveless. If you truly love someone, you find the will to understand them and you will help them understand you. Should the situation be swept under the rug, it’s merely collecting dust until someone decides the rug is the problem. Misunderstandings are typically the consequence of predictions. These misunderstanding will become the haunting of the happy home that was once known as a relationship. When did we become psychic? Apparently, when we entered a relationship. Monotony, routine, no-spark, stale?--all of these things are said when we think we can predict the one we ‘love’. Prediction is a powerful illusion that is unleashed by a desperate mind. It is a ghost that looms over human connection, waiting to expose the next ‘fuck up’. Predictions spawn from certainty. When we begin to predict our loved ones, we are robbing ourselves of the ability to see the change. This could be positive or negative. Nevertheless, letting go of our predictions will allow us to see what is really there instead of pretending that we know.
Love is as complicated as we make it. It’s hard to admit, but when we feel the need to complicate it we are more interested in the idea of love than the experience of it. Do we have to convince ourselves of reasons to love our 'loved ones'? Do we have to present a list of pros and cons for the friends we’d give the shirt on our backs for? No, it is understood. This is love in its pure element. Harmony and balance will accompany this connection naturally, emotion will spice it up, and the mind will overcome its' presented challenge using understanding as its’ guidance. This is a harmonious-functional cycle. If you find yourself outside of this cycle, find a way to get back in it because it how you deserve to live. Love is not a beach you are shipwrecked on. Love is the world in your hands. It’s just a matter of conditioning yourself before you reach your destination. Forgive the past and embrace the present as it unfolds a beautiful future. For love will always be found down the path of understanding, and here, love is our evolution.
