[dakota-devious]

Bye

✌

[dakota-devious]

What We've created

He covers his skin with ink Because black skin isn't beautiful He only wears boots Because men under 6'0 are less superior He only listens to angry or sad music Because for 13 years that's all he could feel He doesn't wear his glasses and can't see Because his brown eyes are big and ugly He doesn't speak up Because his words are insignificant and so is he He isn't who he use to be, he's what we've created And he is miserable

[dakota-devious]

This room is my caged oasis Where I retreat to when in need of solace Where my darkest influences flourish And my thoughts materialize into words Where I come to be inspired By trapping myself between these four walls I set myself free between two covers and 200 pages

[dakota-devious]

We’ll never know what could have been and that’s all there is to it. Maybe we made the right decisions and maybe our choices were lesser than the latter. But again, we’ll never know, will we?

[dakota-devious]

If you're there, I need you now.

[dakota-devious]

Stripped of inspiration, depleted of motivation, and lost in contemplation I sit and wonder, "Where did I go wrong?"

[dakota-devious]

I gave up on looking for help because I'm fucking sick and tired of being pushed away! I'm really fucking sick of it! I apologize for the burden that I am on your lives but I'm done now. Don't offer to help me. Do as you always do and walk your own way even if it means walking over me.

[dakota-devious]

Do you ever feel like you’ve gone so far down the wrong path that when you tried to turn around, since “it’s never to late to do the right thing,” you just got lost and now you’re just a fucked up kid who has no idea what he’s doing or where to go with his life?

Yeah…me neither.

[dakota-devious]

It hurts to know I’ll never have you For my own At least I know I’ll never break you, Your heart, or my own.

[dakota-devious]

10/11/16

Still not feeling any better. I don’t know about anyone else but I never feel safe talking to anyone about my depression save for a couple friends, and I don’t even get to talk to them very often. I think my depression lately has been stemming from some sort of loneliness. Which confuses me because I’m constantly surrounded by people and often find myself craving alone time. I think what I want is a relationship. That being said, I hate to think of myself as someone who needs to be in a relationship to feel validated, but I guess I’m just one of those people. Makes sense anyway. Why should I consider myself to be anything better than the things I hate? I hate myself, I hate being by myself, I hate being me.

[dakota-devious]

I've been feeling very lonely lately and I don't know why

[dakota-devious]

Today, like every other day, I'm only half aware. Occupied by the broken record houghts in my head. I'm capable of doing anything and going anywhere, but I find more comfort in being isolated instead

[dakota-devious]

Why can't I let go?

[dakota-devious]

[dakota-devious]

Get out of my head so that I can sleep. But don’t be gone for long or I will miss you. Just go away for now for I’ll need you again when I wake, because I wouldn’t want to face a day Without you.

[dakota-devious]

I want to tell her but I choke on the words she needs to hear the most. I can’t get them out of my throat. A coward, I stutter as she turns to go And now she’ll never know.

[dakota-devious]

So much loneliness