𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙎

DAKOTA JOHNSON River’s mom. Taylor’s wife co-founder of teatime pictures RP. Not Real

[tcylorkitsch]

Babe don't be defeatist and so disappointed. It's just Alex that unbothers me, anyone else I'd be overly possessive about. Mention someone else and you will see. Oh, so it’s generous when I offer up Alexander, but a whole paranormal curse when the tables turn? Got it. Very fair system we have here. Just so we’re clear, if you’re flickering the lights, I’m turning off the breaker. Honestly, no in all honesty who is going to entertain me this much? You've wrecked me by both being funny when you are riled up and cute when you being jealous. Speaking of the beach, I was thinking somewhere quiet, warm, and far away from ghostly hauntings. Anguilla? every been there?

[dakotajchnson]

No, no. You're just trying to fix it now. The moment's ruined. You can't tell me you'd be jealous of somebody else after I had to drag it out of you. It doesn't count. Congratulations, though. Alex and I will be running off into the sunset together since apparently we have your official blessing now. You can turn off the breaker all you want. I'm haunting you from the afterlife. Electricity is beneath me at that point. I'll get creative. Your coffee will always be cold. One sock from every pair will always disappear. Also, hat's annoyingly sweet. I was trying to be intimidating and somehow you turned it into a compliment. Anguilla? I actually haven't been, which makes me want to go even more.

[dakotajchnson]

* . ⊹ ━━ ⟢ INSTAGRAM 〉 @.DAKOTAJOHNSON

Forever my girls ✨#THREEINCESTUOUSSISTERS / @scoirse

[tswiftfms]

you’re adorable, have i mentioned lately how much i love you? thank you, that means so much to me. i was so honored they took me on for the role. yes, yes to all of this! we need to make it happen!

[dakotajchnson]

You know, not many people call me adorable. Sarcastic? Absolutely. Blunt? Frequently. Emotionally unavailable? A few times. But adorable? I'll happily take that one. And I love you too, babes. We'll make it happen. Come over, we'll order enough food to feed a small village, and let River boss us around for a few hours.

[scoirse]

First of all, I’d like to thank the Academy, my dramatic flair, and my complete inability to do anything in moderation. No they really did it to me see how many awards I didnt get. If the ship is going down, I’m playing the violin on the deck while making eye contact with everyone. Second, two months? It feels like a lifetime of food theft no when you put it in those terms how did I let it happen. But fine, suppose access to your love is acceptable compensation. You’re stuck with me too, so don't go getting any ideas. This is the only itinerary I will ever accept from now on. I’ll bring the hiking boots, you bring the shameless appetite. We will calculate the our output of burning it off with imagination to be generous too.

Now, when are we leaving?

[dakotajchnson]

That's somehow the most Saoirse thing you've ever said. The ship is sinking, people are panicking, and you're making sure your performance gets a standing ovation before we all hit the water. And don't act like you were some helpless victim. You absolutely enabled me. See? This is why we're compatible. Neither of us believes calories count on vacation. Especially if there's an active volcano involved. Scientifically speaking, being near flowing lava has to burn something. That's how I choose to understand physics. That's completely up to you! We could leave either before or after River's birthday.

[huddywillams]

i will back you up with my entire heart and soul, i promise. i'll be so enthusiastic about this decision that they'll have no choice but to go for it, if only to shut me up. nooooo, we do have something! i just need a little more proof that it's real. maybe they won't notice at all and i'll just be a faded background character, never spoken about or mentioned. could go either way. at this point, i think we might have actually split it in half and broke it. eh, the official description is 'set in nyc's high-end culinary world with shades of wall street and whiplash'. intense shit.

[dakotajchnson]

That's exactly the energy I need. You shouldn't need proof, I should always be the exception to the rule. But fine, we'll work together and you'll realize I was right all along. A mysterious, blurry Hudson wandering around in the background. All your fanbase would spot you in a second. I think we've definitely broken the brain cell. It's beyond repair at this point. That sounds really interesting, though! I would watch that just for the cast alone.

[camisfm]

hell yes. i mean, were we ever supposed to be responsible adults during summer vacations ? because i might've missed that memo. i'll have a word with taylor tomorrow then. be all nice and do some deep small talk, only to mix in 'europe', 'a yacht' and 'girls trip' in there. he won't even notice and just nod it off instantly. okay, but your knees do make popping noises when you stand up too fast... you might not have noticed, but i did.... let's focus on these hangovers though. because that's definitely something i'll remind you of for these last remaining three hundred days, sorry not sorry. because i already know when we wake up together, barely able to open our eyes because of our heads pounding like they're getting smashed into a wall over and over again, you'll be like "i told you so". no, but i fully agree. also, they made you even hotter. didn't think that was possible, but apparently it is. and i love watching you thrive in your thirties.

[dakotajchnson]

This is why I keep you around. You've already got the infiltration plan figured out. Poor Taylor isn't going to stand a chance. He's going to accidentally approve the whole thing before he even realizes what he's agreed to. Also, rude. My knees have betrayed me in confidence, and you were not supposed to notice. I'm completely on board, though. The only condition is that I have to be back before August 30th because that's River's birthday. So we've got a very specific window to be irresponsible adults on a yacht before I have to come home and help a tiny dictator celebrate turning two. And thank you. I think my thirties have been kinder to me because I've finally stopped feeling like I have to have everything figured out. It's oddly freeing. Enough about me, though. How have you been? I feel like we've both been running around nonstop.

[cailspaeny]

i feel like i vaguely remember that happening to you. that or people would read so far into your facial expressions. i do think interviews have sort of changed in the past few years though? i do sometimes think back on some of mine, but they aren't too horrible. they do like to pick one thing that we say and run with it. i am hoping that's true and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

[dakotajchnson]

I do think interviews have changed for the better, though. People are a little more aware that a thirty-second clip isn't the same thing as a forty-minute conversation. Not perfect, but definitely better than it used to be. And you've still got your whole career ahead of you. I promise there'll come a point where interviews stop feeling so nerve-wracking. Also, can we talk about how absolutely insane it is that you were basically a baby when we worked together? And now you're out here getting all this well-deserved attention. It's making me feel so proud and old at the same time.

[hayleyfm]

I can't believe it, either. But the little one is telling me that it's happening. It's funny because my sister is at the end of her pregnancy and I'm at the start of mine. My dad is wondering if I'm going to give him another grandson. I don't know if I want to find out, though. My mom is just happy she's getting a grandkid. Keep it a little mystery. I'm still feeling sick every now and then. But I'm taking all the prenatal vitamins and everything. I'm only a couple of months along but I'm fully taking advantage of how doting Brandon is being. Glad to know that my kid is going to have a great role model in her. I hope they become besties. Are you doing anything for her birthday? Or is there any requests for gifts? I'll be sending something her way.

[dakotajchnson]

I love the idea of keeping it a surprise. There are so few genuine surprises left in life, and I feel like that's one of the best ones. And please, milk Brandon's doting phase for everything it's worth. If he wants to get you one of your weird cravings at midnight, let him. Also yes. It's one of the few times you get to shamelessly play the pregnancy card. I'm sorry you're still dealing with the nausea, though. Hopefully you're getting close to the point where it starts easing up. I promise it'll all be worth it. And stop, that's so sweet. I would absolutely love for our kids to grow up together. I have no idea, a part of me wants to throw a big birthday, another part wants to keep it small, just family and close friends. I have to talk to Taylor about it. She's currently obsessed with those magna tiles and kinetic sand, have you seen those? It's messy but she's obsessed.

[tcylorkitsch]

If it does it for you, I’m deeply resentful of not only Alexander Skarsgård’s jawline and that one photo where he's looking longingly at you, but him getting to spend all that time with you right now. Happy? No you know me I may sound and look cool but if I say it that is the tip of iceberg beneath I am feeling about it. If he wasn't my friend though I would have raging eyes and some words for him. Also think this is a bit of different case where Ive worked with him and have admittedly fair bit of trust in him. If something happened to me, you have permission to date him I would put it that way in a humorous way outside of recent traumatic events. Sow e are talking about a beach with terrible cell service? You speak my language. That sounds absolutely perfect. Now do those pictures drive me to think about us absolutely, just us, a couple of swimsuits or very less and some incredible food. Consider me officially stolen. I’ve been missing you like crazy, too.

[dakotajchnson]

Never mind. You're barely jealous anymore, and now you're telling me Alexander gets a free pass because he's your friend? You're ruining my fun. If something happens to you, I have your permission to date him? Very generous of you. Unfortunately, if something happens to me, you have permission to date exactly no one. I will haunt both of your asses for the rest of eternity. Every date? I'll flicker the lights. Every romantic moment? Mysterious cold breeze. Every time you try to kiss? A picture frame is falling off the wall. Now, the beach, that's a conversation worth having. Where do you want to go? I miss you too. More than I probably admit out loud. Come steal me already.

[tcylorkitsch]

I couldnt miss the images babe if I tried. thought I'd come up with a clever snarky response but why when those images are fresh in my mind. Yeah, the third-person self-reference definitely took a little toll on the total, but I’ll allow a partial recovery because, let’s be honest, it's still a massive flex. Not just for you but for me it carries some currency. And with that I love you. Ah usually you do this when you have a specific place in mind

[dakotajchnson]

I'm actually disappointed now. Not even a tiny bit jealous? I had to spend an entire day doing close-up campaign shots and videos with Alexander Skarsgård, and I thought for sure I'd at least get something from you. You being a little jealous is objectively hot. And maybe I do have a place in mind. I was thinking somewhere where neither of us has to get dressed up for anybody. Somewhere with a beach, good food, and absolutely terrible cell service so no one can bother us. I miss you. I feel like we've both been so busy lately that I just want to steal you away. I love you more.

[youshouldburn]

Alexander Skarsgård and Dakota Johnson for Valentino Beauty[x]

[dakotajchnson]

So, your wife is officially Valentino’s new global brand ambassador. That has to earn me at least a few cool points, right? Although referring to myself as “your wife” in the third person probably just cost me all of them again. Anyway, before both of our schedules get completely out of control, I think we should disappear somewhere for a few days. What does your schedule look like right now? / @tcylorkitsch

[hayleyfm]

And I would be here for that, honestly. At least Brandon would have one dad friend. I think I've slept for a little more than three days and honestly, I've loved that for me. Just being able to relax before getting stuck back into rehearsals for the next tour. You're going to have to tell me some places to go to when I'm next there, please. I'm still planning a full European leg so hoping that I can get back to Italy sometime next year. How is your little one doing? Still having her swim lessons?

[dakotajchnson]

I still can't believe you're about to be a mom. That's such a wild sentence to say out loud. I know you're going to be an incredible one, though. You have so much love to give, and your little one is already so lucky. How are you feeling, though? How's everything going with the pregnancy? Sleep is criminally underrated. And yes, I'll happily make you a list. Between the food, the people, the little towns… I get why everyone falls in love with it. River's doing really well. She's still in her swim lessons, and I swear she's becoming more fearless every week. She's at that age where she's convinced she can do absolutely everything by herself, which keeps Taylor and me on our toes. She turns 2 next month.

[limelightlowden]

Seems fair. Ye have to worry when I start just being nice to ye, it means I fucking hate ye. Naw, all thoughts need to be heard, whether ye like it or no. Ye can deny the truth all ye like, pal, doesnae mean it's no true.

[dakotajchnson]

The day you're genuinely nice to me, I'm immediately assuming I've done something unforgivable. And absolutely not. There are plenty of thoughts that should stay locked away forever. That one included. Some mysteries are better left unsolved. I'm off to bleach my brain.

[huddywillams]

all very trial and error. of course i'm offering to introduce you to her. i wanna be there to see if you become cool or if you forget how to speak. either option sounds like it'd be amusing. i don't know about that just yet. we gotta do a project together first and then i can make my verdict. start pulling those strings and find us something, dakota. i'm on the verge of just showing up to whatever you're filming next and sneaking into the background. it's tyrant. i might've told you? who knows. not me. my memory is about as shit as yours.

[dakotajchnson]

Oh, so now I have homework? Fine. I'll start pitching things to anyone who'll listen. I expect you to back me up. I'm offended that I'd even have to earn exception status. I thought we had something. Also, yes, showing up in the background of whatever I'm filming next is exactly the kind of unhinged commitment to the bit that I appreciate. If you do it well enough, maybe no one will notice until the premiere. And okay, Tyrant. That's right. Between the two of us, we have one functioning brain cell. We just have to figure out who's using it on any given day. What's the movie about?

[tswiftfms]

it sounds like a dream and i get a new project of yours out of this? a dream. i am so there, literally coming to you right now because i miss you so much. icon sounds like so much, i just like being out here and making my songs. i know randy newman is the man when it comes to toy story, so i didn't want to step on any toes and i was just so happy to be accepted.

[dakotajchnson]

'I just like making my songs' is exactly why I call you an icon. You say it like it’s nothing. And I get being nervous about stepping into Randy Newman territory, but you didn’t replace anything. You added to it, and it worked. Also, yes, come over. I miss you too, and River also misses her auntie Tay Tay.

[gothmgs]

that's very true, that we'll have the luxury of planning so we can fit in every single detail we'd like, and even leave some room for spontaneity. it always feels that way, yeah? all the time we've spent with these characters is finally paying off, and then it's all finished and we're left with them still running about our minds. i know it always takes me a beat to let go of a character, anyway. i'm so thrilled you're getting the time at home, love, and nothing like being able to stay there for an extended time. i'm jealous since i'm looking forward to that soon enough, once promo is over. and i'm proud of you for actually enjoying your break rather than rushing into work since i know that can be really tough. well, once i'm done on the promo trail, i'll have some time to figure out my next moves too, so naturally hoping to head home for a little while, take a page out of your book and actually enjoy some time off.

[dakotajchnson]

That's exactly what I want for you. I want you to go home, sleep in your own bed, and forget what a call sheet looks like for a couple of weeks. And I know what you mean about letting go. It's funny because everyone always asks how you become a character, but nobody really talks about how you stop being them. I feel like every project leaves behind a little residue. Some are easier to shake than others, but they all stay with you in some small way. I'm actually kind of proud of myself for not immediately jumping into another script. I'm loving making pancakes with River on a random Tuesday or having coffee with Taylor without constantly checking the time. I think we spend so much of our lives chasing the next thing that we forget this is the part we're supposed to be living too. So please promise me you'll do the same when you're done with promo. Go disappear for a bit. Read books, sleep in, sit on a beach, do absolutely nothing productive if you feel like it.