Xuebing Du
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Jules of Nature
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$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
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@dakotajchnson
[text from taylor ] Damn right you dress up for me. Consider me officially on my toes. But for the record all that effort dressing up? Absolutely worth every second. Because it's fun to tear it off.
(Text) Well, now I’m wondering if I should start dressing even better or stop buying clothes altogether. You seem equally enthusiastic about both outcomes. This one is Valentino, though. Thought you should know you’d owe me a dress if you tear it off. 😇 / @tcylorkitsch
[text] You need to slow down. Outfits like that are dangerous for my health. You look hot.
(text) Slow down? Never. I have to keep you on your toes somehow, don't I? 😘 I dress up just for you.
DAKOTA JOHNSON. Kering Foundation's Caring for Women.
Babe don't be defeatist and so disappointed. It's just Alex that unbothers me, anyone else I'd be overly possessive about. Mention someone else and you will see. Oh, so it’s generous when I offer up Alexander, but a whole paranormal curse when the tables turn? Got it. Very fair system we have here. Just so we’re clear, if you’re flickering the lights, I’m turning off the breaker. Honestly, no in all honesty who is going to entertain me this much? You've wrecked me by both being funny when you are riled up and cute when you being jealous. Speaking of the beach, I was thinking somewhere quiet, warm, and far away from ghostly hauntings. Anguilla? every been there?
No, no. You're just trying to fix it now. The moment's ruined. You can't tell me you'd be jealous of somebody else after I had to drag it out of you. It doesn't count. Congratulations, though. Alex and I will be running off into the sunset together since apparently we have your official blessing now. You can turn off the breaker all you want. I'm haunting you from the afterlife. Electricity is beneath me at that point. I'll get creative. Your coffee will always be cold. One sock from every pair will always disappear. Also, hat's annoyingly sweet. I was trying to be intimidating and somehow you turned it into a compliment. Anguilla? I actually haven't been, which makes me want to go even more.
* . ⊹ ━━ ⟢ INSTAGRAM 〉 @.DAKOTAJOHNSON
Forever my girls ✨#THREEINCESTUOUSSISTERS / @scoirse
you’re adorable, have i mentioned lately how much i love you? thank you, that means so much to me. i was so honored they took me on for the role. yes, yes to all of this! we need to make it happen!
You know, not many people call me adorable. Sarcastic? Absolutely. Blunt? Frequently. Emotionally unavailable? A few times. But adorable? I'll happily take that one. And I love you too, babes. We'll make it happen. Come over, we'll order enough food to feed a small village, and let River boss us around for a few hours.
First of all, I’d like to thank the Academy, my dramatic flair, and my complete inability to do anything in moderation. No they really did it to me see how many awards I didnt get. If the ship is going down, I’m playing the violin on the deck while making eye contact with everyone. Second, two months? It feels like a lifetime of food theft no when you put it in those terms how did I let it happen. But fine, suppose access to your love is acceptable compensation. You’re stuck with me too, so don't go getting any ideas. This is the only itinerary I will ever accept from now on. I’ll bring the hiking boots, you bring the shameless appetite. We will calculate the our output of burning it off with imagination to be generous too.
Now, when are we leaving?
That's somehow the most Saoirse thing you've ever said. The ship is sinking, people are panicking, and you're making sure your performance gets a standing ovation before we all hit the water. And don't act like you were some helpless victim. You absolutely enabled me. See? This is why we're compatible. Neither of us believes calories count on vacation. Especially if there's an active volcano involved. Scientifically speaking, being near flowing lava has to burn something. That's how I choose to understand physics. That's completely up to you! We could leave either before or after River's birthday.
i will back you up with my entire heart and soul, i promise. i'll be so enthusiastic about this decision that they'll have no choice but to go for it, if only to shut me up. nooooo, we do have something! i just need a little more proof that it's real. maybe they won't notice at all and i'll just be a faded background character, never spoken about or mentioned. could go either way. at this point, i think we might have actually split it in half and broke it. eh, the official description is 'set in nyc's high-end culinary world with shades of wall street and whiplash'. intense shit.
That's exactly the energy I need. You shouldn't need proof, I should always be the exception to the rule. But fine, we'll work together and you'll realize I was right all along. A mysterious, blurry Hudson wandering around in the background. All your fanbase would spot you in a second. I think we've definitely broken the brain cell. It's beyond repair at this point. That sounds really interesting, though! I would watch that just for the cast alone.
hell yes. i mean, were we ever supposed to be responsible adults during summer vacations ? because i might've missed that memo. i'll have a word with taylor tomorrow then. be all nice and do some deep small talk, only to mix in 'europe', 'a yacht' and 'girls trip' in there. he won't even notice and just nod it off instantly. okay, but your knees do make popping noises when you stand up too fast... you might not have noticed, but i did.... let's focus on these hangovers though. because that's definitely something i'll remind you of for these last remaining three hundred days, sorry not sorry. because i already know when we wake up together, barely able to open our eyes because of our heads pounding like they're getting smashed into a wall over and over again, you'll be like "i told you so". no, but i fully agree. also, they made you even hotter. didn't think that was possible, but apparently it is. and i love watching you thrive in your thirties.
This is why I keep you around. You've already got the infiltration plan figured out. Poor Taylor isn't going to stand a chance. He's going to accidentally approve the whole thing before he even realizes what he's agreed to. Also, rude. My knees have betrayed me in confidence, and you were not supposed to notice. I'm completely on board, though. The only condition is that I have to be back before August 30th because that's River's birthday. So we've got a very specific window to be irresponsible adults on a yacht before I have to come home and help a tiny dictator celebrate turning two. And thank you. I think my thirties have been kinder to me because I've finally stopped feeling like I have to have everything figured out. It's oddly freeing. Enough about me, though. How have you been? I feel like we've both been running around nonstop.
i feel like i vaguely remember that happening to you. that or people would read so far into your facial expressions. i do think interviews have sort of changed in the past few years though? i do sometimes think back on some of mine, but they aren't too horrible. they do like to pick one thing that we say and run with it. i am hoping that's true and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
I do think interviews have changed for the better, though. People are a little more aware that a thirty-second clip isn't the same thing as a forty-minute conversation. Not perfect, but definitely better than it used to be. And you've still got your whole career ahead of you. I promise there'll come a point where interviews stop feeling so nerve-wracking. Also, can we talk about how absolutely insane it is that you were basically a baby when we worked together? And now you're out here getting all this well-deserved attention. It's making me feel so proud and old at the same time.
I can't believe it, either. But the little one is telling me that it's happening. It's funny because my sister is at the end of her pregnancy and I'm at the start of mine. My dad is wondering if I'm going to give him another grandson. I don't know if I want to find out, though. My mom is just happy she's getting a grandkid. Keep it a little mystery. I'm still feeling sick every now and then. But I'm taking all the prenatal vitamins and everything. I'm only a couple of months along but I'm fully taking advantage of how doting Brandon is being. Glad to know that my kid is going to have a great role model in her. I hope they become besties. Are you doing anything for her birthday? Or is there any requests for gifts? I'll be sending something her way.
I love the idea of keeping it a surprise. There are so few genuine surprises left in life, and I feel like that's one of the best ones. And please, milk Brandon's doting phase for everything it's worth. If he wants to get you one of your weird cravings at midnight, let him. Also yes. It's one of the few times you get to shamelessly play the pregnancy card. I'm sorry you're still dealing with the nausea, though. Hopefully you're getting close to the point where it starts easing up. I promise it'll all be worth it. And stop, that's so sweet. I would absolutely love for our kids to grow up together. I have no idea, a part of me wants to throw a big birthday, another part wants to keep it small, just family and close friends. I have to talk to Taylor about it. She's currently obsessed with those magna tiles and kinetic sand, have you seen those? It's messy but she's obsessed.
If it does it for you, I’m deeply resentful of not only Alexander Skarsgård’s jawline and that one photo where he's looking longingly at you, but him getting to spend all that time with you right now. Happy? No you know me I may sound and look cool but if I say it that is the tip of iceberg beneath I am feeling about it. If he wasn't my friend though I would have raging eyes and some words for him. Also think this is a bit of different case where Ive worked with him and have admittedly fair bit of trust in him. If something happened to me, you have permission to date him I would put it that way in a humorous way outside of recent traumatic events. Sow e are talking about a beach with terrible cell service? You speak my language. That sounds absolutely perfect. Now do those pictures drive me to think about us absolutely, just us, a couple of swimsuits or very less and some incredible food. Consider me officially stolen. I’ve been missing you like crazy, too.
Never mind. You're barely jealous anymore, and now you're telling me Alexander gets a free pass because he's your friend? You're ruining my fun. If something happens to you, I have your permission to date him? Very generous of you. Unfortunately, if something happens to me, you have permission to date exactly no one. I will haunt both of your asses for the rest of eternity. Every date? I'll flicker the lights. Every romantic moment? Mysterious cold breeze. Every time you try to kiss? A picture frame is falling off the wall. Now, the beach, that's a conversation worth having. Where do you want to go? I miss you too. More than I probably admit out loud. Come steal me already.
I couldnt miss the images babe if I tried. thought I'd come up with a clever snarky response but why when those images are fresh in my mind. Yeah, the third-person self-reference definitely took a little toll on the total, but I’ll allow a partial recovery because, let’s be honest, it's still a massive flex. Not just for you but for me it carries some currency. And with that I love you. Ah usually you do this when you have a specific place in mind
I'm actually disappointed now. Not even a tiny bit jealous? I had to spend an entire day doing close-up campaign shots and videos with Alexander Skarsgård, and I thought for sure I'd at least get something from you. You being a little jealous is objectively hot. And maybe I do have a place in mind. I was thinking somewhere where neither of us has to get dressed up for anybody. Somewhere with a beach, good food, and absolutely terrible cell service so no one can bother us. I miss you. I feel like we've both been so busy lately that I just want to steal you away. I love you more.
Alexander Skarsgård and Dakota Johnson for Valentino Beauty[x]
So, your wife is officially Valentino’s new global brand ambassador. That has to earn me at least a few cool points, right? Although referring to myself as “your wife” in the third person probably just cost me all of them again. Anyway, before both of our schedules get completely out of control, I think we should disappear somewhere for a few days. What does your schedule look like right now? / @tcylorkitsch
And I would be here for that, honestly. At least Brandon would have one dad friend. I think I've slept for a little more than three days and honestly, I've loved that for me. Just being able to relax before getting stuck back into rehearsals for the next tour. You're going to have to tell me some places to go to when I'm next there, please. I'm still planning a full European leg so hoping that I can get back to Italy sometime next year. How is your little one doing? Still having her swim lessons?
I still can't believe you're about to be a mom. That's such a wild sentence to say out loud. I know you're going to be an incredible one, though. You have so much love to give, and your little one is already so lucky. How are you feeling, though? How's everything going with the pregnancy? Sleep is criminally underrated. And yes, I'll happily make you a list. Between the food, the people, the little towns… I get why everyone falls in love with it. River's doing really well. She's still in her swim lessons, and I swear she's becoming more fearless every week. She's at that age where she's convinced she can do absolutely everything by herself, which keeps Taylor and me on our toes. She turns 2 next month.
Seems fair. Ye have to worry when I start just being nice to ye, it means I fucking hate ye. Naw, all thoughts need to be heard, whether ye like it or no. Ye can deny the truth all ye like, pal, doesnae mean it's no true.
The day you're genuinely nice to me, I'm immediately assuming I've done something unforgivable. And absolutely not. There are plenty of thoughts that should stay locked away forever. That one included. Some mysteries are better left unsolved. I'm off to bleach my brain.
