I read this in the guys voice.

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@dallface04
I read this in the guys voice.
There were two friars from Mississippi...
They decided they weren’t getting paid enough, but they were peaceful people and didn’t want to protest. Instead, they got a second job. They opened a flower shop together.
It was going pretty well, and everybody loved the supposedly blessed flowers, but soon enough the competition got jealous. They claimed that it was illegal to sell the flowers in the name of the Lord.
Being Mississippi, the court sided in favor of the friars and said they could stay open. But the competition was still angry.
They were so angry, in fact, that they hired a thug named Hugh to go “persuade” the friars to close their business. It wasn’t even a day before the friars’ shop was closed.
It all goes to show, Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
Smokey should be informed.
This is scary accurate.
If people don't know I'm being sarcastic, am I really good or really bad at sarcasm?
I'm now twenty years old and any time someone I don't know starts to talk to me my brain still screams: "STRANGER DANGER!!!"
shows before bros
This pretty much sums up my life.
Look at my Tropical Pineapple!
Update: It’s an hour later and I think I ate too much Tropical Pineapple.
taylorswift we need a recipe for these please! 🍪🍪🍪
MMMKAY— there are two ways you can go about this. The quick and easy way is to make sugar cookies from a sugar cookie mix and just cut open a packet of chai tea and pour it into the batter as you make it. Cause you’re busy and you want making cookies to be a chill part of your day. Pow. Done.
OR
If you want to make the cookies from scratch (that’s what I did for the 1989 Secret Sessions), you can use this recipe I found on a baking blog I like, joythebaker.com and I believe it was originally from a book called The Pastry Queen. If you want another great baking blog, I get a lot of great ideas from smittenkitchen.com too. This is a recipe for basic insanely good sugar cookies. I added the chai element to the recipe because I thought it would infuse cozy holiday vibez into the cookie and it really did. So I’ll star the part that I added in the recipe.
http://joythebaker.com/2009/06/giant-vanilla-sugar-cookies/
***after you add the egg and vanilla, cut one chai tea packet open and empty the crushed up tea leaves into the batter CAUSE CHAI COOKIES ARE ABOUT TO HAPPEN UP IN HERE***
I made an icing for the cookies, but they’re fine on their own. If you want to make icing for them, just mix 1 cup powdered sugar with 1/4 T-spoon of nutmeg, 1/4 T-spoon of cinnamon and 3 TAYblespoons <—-(I’m so annoying, it astounds me sometimes) of milk or eggnog if you can find it this time of year. The more milk/eggnog you add, the more your icing will become a glaze. But glazes are legit too so basically just LIVE YOUR LIFE.
I lightly sprinkled cinnamon over the icing once the cookies were baked and iced, but there are so many icing options you can pair with these cookies—I mean it’s out of control. If you’re really feeling like living on the edge, you can go ahead and add a few drops of food coloring to the icing to make it festive. No one is going to stop you.
Why?
Cause the bakers gonna bake bake bake bake bake.
Bye.
did taylor swift really just show up out of the blue on tumblr only to drop some betty crocker shit on us what the fuck
I’m reblogging this solely bc Taylor Fucking Swift just wrote a whole thing about cookies and ended it with a reference to her song.
I have so much respect for her right now.
I want to make some cookies.
Look at my Tropical Pineapple!
Do you remember how you reacted the first time Sam died?
Sirius Black: Breaks out of Azkaban, literally risking his soul, to find and protect Harry
Sirius Black: Sends Harry tons of letters and presents
Sirius Black: Legit moves from a tropical country into a cave and eats rats so that he can be close to Harry
Sirius Black: Immediately knows that Harry didn't put his name in the Goblet
Sirius Black: Despite battling his own depression/anxiety/demons, he always makes sure that Harry's okay and constantly gives him advice and reassurance
Sirius Black: An amazing godfather who did everything that he could to protect Harry and honestly, I really don't get how some members of the fandom think that he only saw Harry as James (I blame the movies) because when it comes right down to it, Sirius treated Harry like his own son.
Monty Python Deadpool
By Zoltan Reindl