[blurrycriticalroleposts]

“Guilt is for humans and mortals.”

-Taliesin Jaffe

[cosmerenaut]

Michael Whelan Stormlight Archive covers + bonus Shallan artwork.

[theycantalk]

santa

[gymleadervik]

Travis Willingham’s Dungeons and Dragons characters, seeing a thing they SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT BE TOUCHING:

[tarydarrington]

nott: i got you these flowers. […] yasha: that was very nice of you, thank you. beau: didn’t peg you for a flowers type of girl. ashley: i take out a book that i have, and in between some of the pages is a four leaf clover. i’ll take the flowers, and i’ll put them in between the other pages, and i’ll put it away.

[dinah-lance]

brianwfoster Buy the ticket, take the ride. Till the wheels come off, baby. I’m your man. Photos by @milapajamas

ashleythejohnson “I love you like ladybugs love windowsills, love you like sperm whales love squid. There’s no depth I wouldn’t follow you through. I love you like the pawns in chess love aristocratic horses.I’ll throw myself in front of a bishop or a queen for you. Even a sentient castle. My love is crazy like that. I like that sweet little hothouse mouth you have. I like to kiss you with tongue, with gusto,with socks still on. I love you like a vulture loves the careless deer at the roadside. I want to get all up in you. I love you like Isis loved Osiris,but her devotion came up a few inches short.I’d train my breath and learn to read sonar until I retrieved every lost blood vessel of you. I swear this love is ungodly, not an ounce of suffering in it.Like salmon and its upstream itch, I’ll dodge grizzlies for you. Like hawks and skyscraper rooftops,I’ll keep coming back. Maddened. A little hopeless.Embarrassingly in love. And that’s why I’m on the couch kissing pictures on my phone instead of calling you in from the kitchen where you are undoubtedly making dinner too spicy, but when you hold the spoon to my lips and ask if it’s readyI’ll say it is, always, but never, there is never enough.” -Brimhall 📷 by @milapajamas

[intothefey-blog]

“I have so many flowers to bring to her”

[eyeofthenewt1]

I cast WALL OF FIRE

[ink-and-oceans]

“I think that hope, considering how weak it’s flame can be, is surprisingly resilient. When the fire in us is stomped out, hope perseveres.”

— tara love / hope is what love and rebellions are made of

[somewhatsomelikepoetry]

You are my biggest weakness

[jamandstuff]

[disasterjones]

they’re never going to be allowed to sit next to each other ever again

bonus:

that’s the face of an exhausted sibling if I ever saw one

[thisisforthepixels]

Pokemon with real moves…

[nilim]

My favourite screenshots are those when the entire cast is in various stages of doubling over in laughter or facepalming, and then there’s just Sam sitting there with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[aced-the-heart]

Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.

[chimeowrical]

The nicest angel you have

[nilim]

My favorite thing about Sam’s Instagram are his wife’s generally horrified and confused comments about his D&D-life.