Did you hear that someone broke into a warehouse and stole $40k worth of condoms and sex toys? Do you think any Warblers would try to use a Five Finger discount at When I Get You Alone?
Wow– only in Vegas, right? I mean, I get what you’re saying though: high end products, and we definitely have our fair share of exhibitionists. And, to be accurate, there were two thieves plowing through the aisles there. So if you were asking who I think would be the most likely to try something like that… I’d go with Puck or Santana, wouldn’t you? They both seem capable of impulsive and yet efficient B&E.
As for our own Adult Retail center though, I would certainly hope that no one was trying to walk out with a vibrator between their legs. I mean, we already get an employee discount, so it’s kind of pathetic if you are so desperate for stimulation that you’d risk your job on that sort of thing. It’s Las Vegas, people! Just go find a tourist!
That’s a loaded question, but I guess we can start with your tendency to assign your own kinks to other people just to make yourself look less guilty. Not that it works, but I digress. Alright, well you can’t really put “Street Smarts” and “educated guess” in the same sentence. First of all, “street smarts” is what people say when they don’t have shit to show for themselves in the ways of intelligence - so I guess it’s a term you use on a near-daily basis, huh? Second, an “educated guess” is something you’re by no means qualified to make, so if I were you, I wouldn’t even try. Was I? I know that big words can be hard to understand for you, but I didn’t say shit about whether or not I like it up the ass. Hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of - the prostate is a magical thing. I’ll try to keep my language simple from now on to avoid this kind of confusion in the future, though. I’m perfectly capable of having an awesome sex life and keeping my job, thank you. It’s not my fault that you’re more dispensable than I am.
Assigning my kinks to others? You do take it up the ass, Stick bug: your own words, so whatever Alternative Facts you want to assign to me, you basically just verified what I said there. And you can deflect all you want, but everyone here knows what kind of fuckery you get into on a regular basis, on-record or no. Only a pompous punk with a silver spoon up his ass would believe that living in the real world gives you zero critical thinking skills. And thank you, but my resume speaks for itself in terms of what I bring to the table for this place, and why they reached out to me for this job. You really need to keep up with your own mouth, Smythe-- the fact that you can’t remember that you started this conversation by trying to insult me by implying I enjoyed anal is what made this whole argument a piece of hypocritical circular fallacy. And the only reason anyone would believe you were more valuable than me is because your daddy only spawned once, probably because the EPA took one look at you and cut off his balls rather than risk him creating another biohazardous meatsack. And if that lack of personal achievement makes you feel like a worthwhile yes-man, then good for you. I guess both myself and the Big Bosses have higher standards for me.
