I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this

The name's Megara, but friends call me Meg- Atleast they would if I had any. I'm a big girl, I know how to look after myself. Everything's just peachy.

[damselinsandals]

as if Meg could get away from Pain and Panic.

[pumpkiinkiing-blog]

Tell me, friends, would anyone happen to have any information on a certain sea witch - Ursula, I believe is her name - and how I might go about contacting her?  You see, I heard about her for the very first time some days ago, and I am incredibly intrigued by the possibility of recruiting her for this year’s Halloween. Think of the possibilities!

An underwater-themed All Hallow’s Eve - flesh-eating sirens, Qalupalik, the Kraken, Cthulhu! And to think I was worried this year’s Halloween would be too run-of-the-mill!

[damselinsandals]

You wanna recruit Ursula for ya lil’ holiday celebration? Gods, now I’ve heard it all.

If ya wanna contact a certain sea witch, then your best bet would be to find some creepy lookin’ cave by the sea, there’s usually some type’a purple smoke emerging from it, or you’ll hear the screams from her secret garden, it’s hard to miss, trust me.

Your other option is to track down her two babies Flotsam an’ Jetsam, they’ll help ya out, but there’s usually some sorta cost, no matter what ya want from her. So here’s your “I told you so” before ya get turned into some kinda sea polyp. 

[mrsdaisyduck-blog]

Ugh. The invites aren’t even back from the printer’s yet, but somebody couldn’t hold their water over here.

So, I guess I may as well just say about it now, before it all gets out of hand and a bunch of hooligans show up – so, this Saturday, I will be hosting the first summer beach party! Definitely not the last, of course, and not the best, that comes later, but even so, I’d say it’s going to be at least the best party of the year so far. And, well, just about everyone is invited! … Everyone except the Outlanders, of course, but you all knew that.

So? Who’s gonna be there, who’s excited?

[damselinsandals]

Gotta admit, you’re brave to publicly announce ya won’t be invitin’ any Outlanders, anyone else would be scared of them all crashing the ‘do. But not you, Daisy. Admire that bravery.

...But not me, considerin’ I’m kinda y’know, an Outlander.

[damselinsandals]

FMK, or whatever they're calling it, Wed, Bed, Behead... Hades, Peg, me.

Jeez, you’re makin’ it too easy.

Behead Hades - although that’s way too kind, he deserves somethin’ much worse. Bed Peg, can’t deal with all that drama she drags around.

Then that leaves you, The Almighty Future King of Disney. I’d be an idiot not to ‘wed’ ya, wouldn’t I?

[whaaatadog-blog]

Well, I won’t bring up you know who if it’ll bother ya. Course he does! You just gotta get to know him a little bit. I mean, I haven’t spent much time with him, but he’s…sweet. In his own way. Way better than a mobster, I tell ya that.

[damselinsandals]

You’re too kind. Sure Peg, they’re all sweet until they want somethin’ from you, ya should already know that by now if you’re gonna be ‘round these parts.

[damselinsandals]

Aladdin, Flynn Rider, and–Ooh that Adonis guy. You know him dontcha?

Send my apologies to Al, ‘cause that kid is way too skinny for me – Wait, Adonis?

– Forget that, I’d behead Adonis. Marry Flynn, gotta make him happy for once and that means I’d bed Aladdin.

[damselinsandals]

Me, me with blonde hair, me with a goatee

Jeez, ya make this hard, don’t you?

I guess I’ll say bed you with a goatee, marry you and behead you with blonde hair, ‘cause I’m afraid that’s not a look you can pull off, Rider.

[damselinsandals]

purple, turquoise, teal.

Gee, it’s only taken you a decade to tell me this? Impressive.

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

Megara, you know when a goddess gives her word she is bound for all eternity.

Cross my heart, hope to die.

[damselinsandals]

Alright. Okay, I’ll -- I’ll see what I can do.

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

I’ll get you your soul back.

[damselinsandals]

Seriously?

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

Tell me what Hades has been working on. And not the poor little souls he’s been capturing. I’m talking about the big stuff. With Simba gone and Mufasa just as good as gone, Scar will be divvying up the kingdom and I know Hades will do anything do get a huge piece all for himself.

And I know he’s screwing me over on the deal. Just, tell me what he’s up to, who he meets and when. I promise I’ll make it worth you’re while. 

[damselinsandals]

... Right. Got it. You want me to go behind Hades’ back to find out what he’s planning with Scar so I can get back to you and then what? Get my thread trimmed? Wow Eris, you’re really selling this to me so far.

You can make it worthwhile? Tell me how and I might think about it.

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

Ah yes, of course. We like to talk about our day together over dinner, tell each other every little detail of our dastardly plans. Sometimes we even discuss our feelings! 

Please. You know the less time spent talking with Hades, the better. Besides, he knows how much I love surprises. Ugh, Court of Miracles? What could he possibly want with that dump…You know, maybe if you weren’t too busy.

There’s something I think that could be mutually beneficial for us both.

[damselinsandals]

... 

What is it, Eris?

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

Speaking of which, what has Hades been making you do lately? He’s been pretty….tight lipped these days. He’s not still making you chase monsters in the forest is he?

[damselinsandals]

You really don’t know? And here I was, thinkin’ the big man told you everything... Guess I was wrong.

Chasing monsters? No. Working in disgusting locations and spyin’ on the poor folk in the Court of Miracles? Yes.

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

more into drowning sailors these days. The sirens and I’ve reached a little deal you see. It’s something of a booming market now, you could join in. I’d put in a really good word for you Meg. 

It must’ve been Judge Frollo. Who else? Gaston doesn’t spend his time looking for the Court of Miracles, Facilier has more…elegant taste. Setting fires wouldn’t be showing off enough. This has Frollo’s stupid mark all over it. I wonder if he’s finally found his little dancer girl yet. 

[damselinsandals]

Y’know I’d love to, but I don’t think Hades would think too much of that. Plus you already know how much I really hate gettin’ my hair wet.

Of course. What else would that creep be doin’? Well if he has found her, I wish her luck. She’s probably gonna need it.

[thegoddessofdischord-blog]

It just isn’t fair. A few little fires break out in the city and everyone assumes I had something to do with it.

I’ve been on my best behavior. 

[damselinsandals]

Gee, Eris, I don’t know how the thought of you doin’ a thing like this could cross anyone’s mind.

So if it wasn’t you, then who was it, huh? Don’t tell me -- Grimhilde’s little helper? Always knew he had a darkside.

[whaaatadog-blog]

Heh, nice to meet ya deary. I’m Peg. We sound like a little doowop duo. You know how it is though, go where the work is. 

Well that sounds rough. Wait, you know some of the Kiburi’s? You ain’t one of them princesses are you? The ones that get in trouble a lot? Nuh uh, I’m not gonna be the one to give you the grand tour of this place. Fess up now.

[damselinsandals]

Right... sure we do...

Hah, don't make me laugh. Ya really think one of those princesses would make it a day 'round these parts? Please, Peg, you might be new, but ya can't be serious. I know one Kiburi, and that's just 'cause my boss does business with him from time to time. I'm on about his ex wife and her kids. They're who everyone has been talkin' about.

[whaaatadog-blog]

They sure are. I mean, I’m used to the mean streets of the city. But the Outlands? That’s another ballpark altogether.

Well darlin, if I’m honest I did just get out of the slammer. How’d he die anyway? Don’t they have a ton of bodyguards, people to look out for him?

[damselinsandals]

Tell me about it.

Really? Y'know that doesn't surprise me since you decided to come to a Hellhole like this. The name's Meg, if ya can't tell by the shiny lil' name badge I've gotta wear.

It seemed like half his family were out to get him, so that would be one way. Last I heard some small town crook was gettin' the blame for it though, and If ya were ever fortunate enough to meet the kid's aunt and uncle, ya wouldn't believe that for a minute.