Tone Policing and Allyship
As allies, your job is to listen.
As allies, your job is to shut up and listen.
As allies, your job (after the first two things) is speak when spoken to, or to call out other privileged/non-oppressed people to listen to the group you are allied to.Ā
Your job is not to talk over oppressed people.
Your job is not to discuss every single thought about oppressed groups as though you are an expert (cause you watched a single @chescaleigh or @katblaque video.)
Your job is to not make an oppressed groups issues about you. They are not and never will be about you. Thats kind of the point.
Your job is not to make oppressed groupsĀ āsound betterā or to instruct them to beĀ āless mean.ā You get no say in how anger of oppression is dealt with.Ā
In closing, itās best to think of your allyship as being a house guest. You do not get invited to someoneās house and then rudely demand that they change the decor around that house to suit your tastes. (Nor do you speak over the family who invited you there and demand that they honor your opinion of them over their own opinion of themselves and their house.)
The most you should do, is kindly remind other guests to not be shitty guests and to listen to the host. (Unless asked directly otherwise.)
*I tried to make this applicable for most groups. I am a white, non-binary neuro-divergent bisexual person who has consistently dealt with bad allies in various forms. Feel free to add to this if you have the energy. Iām sure I have left out many things that could be addressed.Ā
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