Spicy D&D

a nsfw d&d blog warning: 18+ only no minors this contains kinks that some may not enjoy i don't care.

[danddnotsafe]

I am looking for things to discuss so feel free to send ideas in asks and dms for spicy game mecanics, wonderous items, spells, curses, monsters, excetera. Dont feel bad if i dont share them again i am heavily biased dont get offended if i dont like the idea of mass genocide.

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[danddnotsafe]

Ok fresh idea, wildshaping objects. Like a riding saddle that will transform you into a horse and or centaur. A wolf skin coat that transforms you into a wolf and or wearwolf. A lucky rabbits foot that turns you into a rabbit and or haringon. Let your immaginations run wild with these.

Magicorp is not lyable for any perminent changes in phisical atributes or psychology due to the miss use of our products.

[danddnotsafe]

Here is something a little more sfw but canbe nsfw if your down.

Has anyone made a balanced way to make the gems from Steven universe? If not i can whip some stuff up

[astraldemise]

changing elves from being assholes with a superiority complex and recharacterising them as just sort of weird guys that have an entirely different set of social behaviours to harken back to the days when people thought autistic people were a kind of fae for having odd behaviours. the entire reason why they dont particularly enjoy gatherings of men or dwarves or whatever is because they tend to be loud and the average elven social gathering is just a bunch of them sitting in a room in silence ignoring each other

like theyre still kind of mean but its more of them being blunt and lacking empathy rather than being condescending or purposefully malicious

[astraldemise]

my elven ass after spending 45 minutes in the pub with my dwarf friends:

I GROW WEARY OF MIMICKING YOUR OBNOXIOUS MANNERISMS TO ACCOMMODATE FOR THIS ENVIRONMENT. I WISH TO RETURN TO MY CHAMBERS TO REST AND SO I MAY PLAY SPLATOON 3 ON THE NINTENDO SWITCH. WE SHALL GATHER AGAIN NEXT HALF MOON AND I SHALL TELL YOU OF MY VICTORIES.

them:

okay man take care

[astraldemise]

you understand my vision

[danddnotsafe]

For the sake of hyperpreg, I wonder how one calculates belly weight VS the character's strength stat to determine when immobility sets in? Like... is it standard encumbrance rules? Does a pregnant womb count as inventory cargo? How pregnant is TOO pregnant when determining if you can still get around? And, of course, can it be alleviated with some kind of levitation spells? I dunno, food for thought.

Il need to do some digging but there might be something in the hombrew rules, i can safely say that there are no official rules i know of for this.

I would rule it 2 ways blindly, 1st every trimester -1 to the dex mod of the carachter. 2nd each baby per trimester counts as additional 20 pounds of carry weight and movement speed is quartered every trimester.

Though given the broad span of possible partner sizes we need to abridge this further based on differing factors. All in all i like this.

[danddnotsafe]

So this is my homebrew verson of upcasting goodberries. This tails off the idea of goodberries containing 2,000 insta applying calories and healing 1hp at a level 1 slot.

level 2 can heal a d4, 4,000 calories per berry (large blueberry in size) [1.14lbs]

a level 3 heals 3d4, level 3 also heals light scaring 16,000 calories per berry (cherry size)[4.57lbs]

4 heals 4d4 mass scaring and nerve damage, 128,000 calories per berry (grape size)[36.5lbs]

5th heals 5d4 adds curing deseases, 2,048,000 calories per berry (walnut sized)[585.1lbs]

6th heals 6d4 you can regrow lost organs and stops organ falure, 65,563,000 calories per berry(lime, sized)[18,724lbs]

7th heals 7d4 can re grow limbs, 4,194,304,000 calories per berry (lemon size)[1,198,372lbs]

8th heals 8d4 and gives +100 temp hp for 48 hours 536,870,912,000 calories per berry (jucing orange sized)[153,391,689lbs]

9th heals 9d4 gives you legendary resistances to all damage, 137,438,953,472,000 calories per berry, (grapefruit sized) [39,268,272,420lbs]

[danddnotsafe]

So found a bug in the d&d homebrew inflation wg and preg book i found online in reguards to stuffing.

You have a limited stomach capacity in this system just like irl. You can eat a number of pounds of food equal to con saving throw mod. You can choose to instead take the eating skill witch is added to this book.

Eating skill is a natural proficency for humans in this book, if you take the gluttony feat it grants you profeciency or expirtice if you took the skill allready. It also increses you con score by 1 every time you take it to a max of 20.

Stuffing works by a con check or eating skill check the result is the amount of food in pounds you can eat -8 (minumum 0) if the result is 0 you cant stuff any further willingly untill you digest the food.

Thing is if you build your carachter right you can literally stuff yourselfe endlessly if you build your carachter right according to these rules.

Do what you will with this info.

[danddnotsafe]

Strange question for everyone that cares. Elves and pregnancy, i bring this up due to the drinking age question for elves.

Elves live 700+ years, they get to the age of adult hood at around 100 years. So the question arises when are they able to drink? When they are 21 are they kid shaped or full sized humanoid, on their id does it state i look like a kid but im 21 years old give me a drink or i may look like an adult but im a still devrloping elf dont give me alchohol?

This brings me to pregnancy. Im betting because of their extended life that either a it takes way longer for a given fetus to develop, or it fully develops then the person has to wait for their body to deliver it in im estimating 42.9 months, or 3.6 years depending on the fathering race.

[danddnotsafe]

WONDEROUS ITEM TIME! So this one is a doozie, I call it the God Egg.

A world building tool made by the gods left over from the time of creation. A collored metalic indestructible baseball sized egg thats covered in primordial script.

If you insert this egg into someone, and inseminate the egg with enough batter the person will grow a planet with its biosphere over 10 years. They will give birth and become the planets protective mother moon. Depends on the given egg but for an earth sized planet it will grow at around 2.6 feet per hour, if wanted the dm can make this happen in fits and spurts (my prefrence). Will make the mothering person impervious to damage and will provide enough material for the creation of the planet.

[danddnotsafe]

In d&d there are no official rules for how to become pregnant in 5th edition, so going by some homebrew you need to determine if both parents are fertile, then set a base dc on what you need to beat to get them pregnant. Id set it naturaly at dc10 if both parents are healthy and raise it or lower it based on extra effects like what they ate, if they deeply care for eachother excetera. Ive allready come up with spells to help with these things.

[danddnotsafe]

Watch "Bubbling Stomach Digesting" on YouTube

[danddnotsafe]

So gound thid this morning abunch of hombrew 5e texts for exactly what ive been hombrewing here.

[danddnotsafe]

New idea for defeating fatiuge, new spell call it Beartha's endurance. Level 1 spell you eat a full meal then cast it either on yourselfe or someone else that touches you. If you beat a con dc of 14 you sucsessfully rid yoursrlfe of a level of exaustion at the cost of ameal no gained weight. If you fail however you insta digest the meal but your now starving and you dont loose your exaustion so you either have to eat another meal and cast it again or sleep. If failed all calories are distributed to your body at the dms disgression. Also if yhe spell fails and other people are alsk being effected by the same spell all calories of the effected peoples meals go to the castor. All food is insta digested and anyone who is involved in this becomes starvingly hungry. Massive wg can insue if not careful.

[danddnotsafe]

Ok this is for the berryification pals i(wish i) have.

You find on the side of a road what appears to be a tomato sized blueberry growing off a bent over bush. If eatten it will cause the creature in question to inflate into a blueberry like vilot buergaurd from willy wonka and the chochocolate factory over amatter of minutes. You will be immobilized your gear will break off of you along with tight non strechy clothes. Poping is up to your dm, personally im against it. You must be juiced every 8 hours or will return to your blueberry state. Your new non berry form is supprisingly flexible and taunt. Treat the berryfication as a curse or a one time deal personnaly i like the curse angle.

[danddnotsafe]

So be warned with this one its my first bdsm submission. 10 ft Rope of submission, if a person is held down, bound or even gaged with this rope it causes them to gain alevel of exaustion every hour its on them till level 4 of exaustion. It will hold them at level 4 till it is removed, a quirk of this is the person bound by this cannot sleep untill its removed.

[danddnotsafe]

So rolling off the fert spell heres a new hb one for the kinkier side of things. You have been warned.

4th level spell called Breeding bliss, can be cast on fathering or mothering carachters. On mothering side it causes 2d20 eggs to magically ovulate and be prepaired for incemination for up to a full week. Fathering figures when this is casted uppon will be endowed with seed that is so powerfull that it actually quadruples any potential children in normal breedings and quadruples chances of normal impregnation. This also lasts an entire week so be carefull, effects can stack except the potency of seed stays the same. and this can be upcasted every level higher doubbles the effects.