𝙈𝙞𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙖𝙖 @dandelion03 - Tumblr Blog

― Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase

I promise you things will get so much better when you start processing people’s behavior as information rather than a verdict on your self-worth. If someone doesn’t text back, suddenly pulls away, whatever it may be, the solution isn’t to put on a tap dance for them and try to regain their approval. It’s not to crash out on them and try to force them to react a certain way. It’s just to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess what this tells you. What’s this saying about them? What’s this saying about you??

stuckinapril

Like people’s actions are data points rather than death sentences. It could even be a data point about you. It could be that you’re not being a great friend, it could be that there’s something you guys miscommunicated. Or it could be that they themselves don’t have the means to be consistent, aren’t in the headspace to meet you where you are, whatever. But this is always data rather than a judgment. Even if you’re the problem, behavior can change.

Also, in the context of someone pulling back without explaining away, and assuming they didn’t give you a reasonable explanation in the first place, it’s also a data point that they’d react that way rather than communicate. Situations are always very context dependent, but they’re also always data, not verdicts on self worth.

The last time I posted was on 11 May. I came home for a month-long semester break and wanted to make this my digital diary, but of course with no intention of being regular. It turned out I hadn't been regular at all. Though it's okay, because I had a lot of fun with my family and friends anyway. I can't believe 32 days have passed, and my break is ending today, and I have to go back, 114 miles away from home, and back to my regular routine. Life turned out differently for me; I never had a home of my own, and every day is not always great. Here, by the word "home," I mean the city I have grown up in. So many memories of mine are here from 19 years of my life, good and bad. Not that I will be leaving this place forever, but I will be leaving for quite a while now. Home has become a feeling for me, not just the place I reside in when I come here. It's the entire city to me. I don't feel like this anywhere else. As if I'm leaving this feeling behind as I'm leaving home.

So till next time, which might be in 1 or 2 or maybe even 3 months.

#aesthetic #home #homesick #books and reading #nature #nature and sky #blue sky #sky aesthetic

stuckinapril

The truth is I just want more financial freedom so I can buy high quality skincare, buy quality pieces and form a classic capsule wardrobe, travel and see the world, spoil my friends and family, gain access to any hobby i want ever, never rely on anyone ever, nourish myself with good food, buy all the books i want ever, and do anything I want forever