DandlionScreams

life without love

[dandlionsthoughts]

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[dandlionsthoughts]

I'm dumb

I’m dumb

I have come to the conclusion that women make me stupid. Therefore I am dumb.

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Eh

My girlfriend cheats emotionally most of the time. Why she doesn’t seem to get that I know….that I don’t understand 

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Hey roach 

I know.  You are hurting her more than you are hurting me.  Go die.. 

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Ugh

Maybe it would be best if I just end it.  No one ever gets what  they want.   I’m best suited to go it alone

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[dandlionsthoughts]

The hardest thing

It’s hard when you come home and your son is already asleep…so you spend most of the night worrying he’ll never wake up…because you lost his brother and you don’t want to lose him too..m

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[dandlionsthoughts]

My love

I hope one day you forget about him and look upon me the same way I do you.

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[dandlionsthoughts]

The end

I feel like maybe I just ended it. There is just too much bullshit to make it work

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Loss

I’m struggling this month. This Sunday should be my eldest son’s 21st birthday. Instead he took his own life December 13th..2017. I’ve handled it as well as I can…but dates seem to matter. And as much as I am trying to stay upbeat I’m just not. I have next week off…having a party on the 19th and I would like to have one of his friends over and game on his birthday. I’m hurting…trying not to show…

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Scared...

Scared…

It scares me…the thought of her leaving…

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Why

Why do I feel like I am the one who broke faith? Yes…I checked her phone…but only after it was obvious she was still with him

So why do I feel like the bad guy?

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Want

I want this to keep going but he stands in the way. I love her and her daughter so very much…but I feel like the last 9 months is a lie. I really don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know where to go from here.

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[dandlionsthoughts]

It has come to pass...

It has come to pass…

I want to be forgiving and bigger than I am…

But put his pathetic shit face on front of me and I will break his little beak and shove it so far up his ass…

Come at me little bird..

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Avoiding the talk

I think she subconsciously avoided the talk…and I really need to discuss the bird with her.  It’s going to be the end of us if it doesn’t happen.

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Pathetic

It’s pathetic…how you stick around. If you want her then come for her. Quit lurking in the shadows all pathetic and all. Come at me….

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Drained

Physically…emotionally…financially drained. Not sure how much more I can take. I’m off budget and my stocks tanked so I can’t really sell off yet to get some relief. I need to cut some bills out but my other is struggling and I don’t want to put burden on her. I had a friend who owes me money…but if I see it it will be in small increments. I’m not feeling sexy and sex seems the furthest thing…

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[dandlionsthoughts]

Triggered

Read a book today that triggered me. Sitting here getting drunk and trying not to lose my shit. Miss you kid…every…single…day.

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