what if it all turned out fine? @dangeroustravels - Tumblr Blog

I’m back! And everything had changed!

damn wow hi

Summer is starting off really well.

“you weren’t ready for it because you weren’t ready for what you wanted.”

I just finally feel like I’m not a young party girl anymore and starting to settle so I just want more permanent things you know so it’s been this total shift

I just don’t want to be here anymore.

12:05am. Another day of an emotional roller coaster has come to an end.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. For weeks. Now months.

some personal shit.

- on paper, everything is great: amazing job. beautiful apartment. my health. financially independent. working car. money saved.

- i just have no one to share those things with

- i have deep rooted trust, emotional, and stability issues

- and i think maybe i just found someone i want to share it with and even though we had a great night something in my FUCKED UP head is trying to tell me “this will end/this will be bad/nope maybe it WAS bad/nope lets overthink everything and completely turn it from one of the best first dates youve ever had to the worst”

- like i left and thought omg amazing and within 24 hours i am completely questioning if it even happened or if it was even good

- but i know it was good

- why do i do tHIS TO MY SELF

- oh it is bc my parents were gaslighters and made me question reality? so i cant have a good experience [romantically] without over analyzing every minute of the date and driving myself insane?

theres so much more to say/i cant even/who gives a fuck/i cant fucking EVEN

#personal #life update #sort of #i dont even post here anymore

they ask me if I still think about you, only all the time