WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT GIF I NEED IT. and btw. i love ur fanfictions. jealous howell is the best howell, so a suggestion should be to make more of those. keep it up, love you XX
if u mean my sidebar gif i cannae remember bcos it’s been the same for so long but it’s from this vid !! but thank u so much o my wow thank u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !i luv u a lot x x x
this is my first time in a while publishing an actual fanfiction, so please excuse any terrible grammar mistakes. i don’t understand commas. what the fuck is a comma. i hope that you enjoy it though!! -grace
Word Count: 1,255
Dan—for what is not the first, and will definitely not be the last time—is struck by how beautiful she is. Soft, parted lips and gentle skin that he could touch forever and still find new places to adore. Gentle, flowing hair and a laugh that never fails to send his heart into double time.
Dan loves her. He comes to the realization in a dimly lit club playing shitty music, that he has always loved her in different ways from the moment that she stumbled into his life, apologetic smile and all.
He loved her as a friend in the corridors of their secondary school, pushing her way through the crowds of people to make it to him after classes were out. He loved the way that she’d apologize to everyone that she squeezed past even though she barely grazed them with her touch. He loved her soft, apologetic eyes when she was more than a minute late to meet him even though he would always insist that he would not mind—could never mind—waiting for her.
“Sorry I’m late,” she would laugh as she wrapped her arms around him in a much-needed after-school hug. “Big crowds are hard to get through when you’re not a giant like Daniel Howell.” If he had minded her being late, it all found a way to dissipate when she hugged him like she missed him.
Dan loved her deeper when they graduated and went to different universities with promises that they would never lose touch, they meant more to each other than that. They would always mean more to each other than that.
“I don’t want us to be just Facebook friends,” she had said when they finished packing his run-down car with the shit that he needed, or thought that he would need, for university, “I want us to be real friends.”
She had blushed with the weight of her confession, Dan remembers, with the fear that she had stepped over some unspoken boundary. But he had known exactly what she meant behind the shitty metaphor, or at least enough to agree with it.
He had loved her when she had called him sobbing for what would not be the last time about her boyfriend who had left her for someone else. Dan had loved her through the tears that he had wanted to kiss away through the shitty cellphone reception.
“I’m sorry,” she had wheezed out in between tears, “I just, I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I’d know what to do without you. You’re the only constant in my life, Dan, and I’m sorry that I keep calling you like this.”
Dan didn’t mind, though. He would never mind any emotions that she would feel because he loved her, even if he had no way of knowing it then. “I’m always here for you, you spork,” he had said through a strained laugh, “you should know that by now.”
He had loved her when she had gotten wasted for the first time, even though her hair was a mess and her mascara had been running and she was throwing up over his toilet at three in the morning. He would have loved her even if she had managed to miss the toilet entirely.
Dan loved her through her first hangover with glasses of orange juice and apologies as to how fucking wasted she had gotten, how he shouldn’t have had to see her like that, she didn’t mean to always come to him when the bad things were happening. As though he never came to her with his bad moods and bad feelings, he had realized. She internalized things too much and made herself the problem, which was something that he never much appreciated in her.
He had loved her when she told him to drop out of university with an angry tone that meant no harm. Dan had laid on the floor of her dorm room, a sobbing mess as he tried to explain that he had probably failed all of his exams and that law school was stupid, school was stupid, so what even was the point?
“Just drop out!” She had demanded with her hands on her hips as she stood over him while he laid on her bedroom floor. “University isn’t for everyone, Dan, and maybe it isn’t for you. That doesn’t make you stupid, holy shit. You’re so smart, Dan. And funny, and witty, and genuinely nice to people, and this fucking…This fucking law school bullshit isn’t much of a help to your mental health. Take a gap year, for God’s sake!” She had run her hand through her hair and shaken her head with a forlorn look on her face.
Dan knew that she didn’t like to say that she loved people often, but he knew that her speech on leaving school was how she was trying to convey it.
“There’s no shame in changing your passions, Dan,” she had told him after a moment of silence, “and maybe being a lawyer just isn’t your passion anymore. There’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in redefining yourself.”
He loves her now, with her hair a mess and her eyes wild as she pulled him out onto the dance floor of the sweaty, overcrowded club. He loved her as she pulled him close to her, closer than best-friends should be when they dance to a slow song.
She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down to her level so that their foreheads touch in a breathless reminder of how beautiful her eyes are. He dares not to breathe because she’s wearing her perfume, and if he smells it again he’s going to kiss her and he doesn’t want to do that because he loves her too much to lose her. Dan loves her as a friend and he loves her deeper than that all at once, and his mother always told him that true love doesn’t make sense but he’s a cynical mess who doesn’t believe in true love.
But he knows that she does, as her smile overtakes her face as the slow song that he doesn’t recognize pulls into the chorus. She’s not cynical and she’s nothing like him, and he relishes in the wistful thought that maybe opposites do attract and the bullshit that he learned in his chemistry class with her wasn’t as big of a waste as he thought it was.
“I’ve missed this,” she says so softly that he strains to hear her over the song, “I’ve missed us being together.”
He knows that she means it platonically, that she’s missed hanging out with him, but his heart still beats faster at the thought that she’s missed him.
“I’ve missed this, too,” he replies without thinking, without really knowing what this is or what they are.
But she smiles anyway, despite his not-knowing, and it’s so genuine that his breathing falters for a moment and she must know. They’re so close that there’s no way that she doesn’t hear his heart against her ear as she rests her head against his chest. There’s no possibility that she doesn’t feel how his breathing is failing him against her ear.
And he prays to a God that he isn’t sure is even there that she doesn’t hear him when he whispers against her hair, soft and ticklish against his mouth as he presses an almost-there kiss to it the top of her head, “I love you.”
i. Like most best friends, you and Dan have all the cliché embarrassing stories.
Dan throwing his entire plate of food over your head when you were toddlers.
You accidentally knocking Dan off his feet when you were learning to ride a bike as a six year old.
Dan sticking up for you against the neighbourhood bully at twelve.
Drinking cheap alcohol in the park together for the first time as teenagers.
You getting your first boyfriend at sixteen and Dan not knowing how to deal with it.
Dan realising as an adult that he’s actually head over heels for you but too scared to do anything about it.
Yeah.
Story of his damn life.
Dan is thinking about all of this as he flicks through old photos on his phone, in attempt to find funny ones to show you.
This particular evening, you’ve just broken up with your latest boyfriend and immediately Skype called Dan in urgent need of comfort. You’re sitting in your apartment, slumped on the sofa, looking down your webcam at him.
“Look, hey, remember this,” he desperately tries to perk you up, holding up his phone screen to show a picture of the two of you on the beach. You’re holding an ice cream and Dan is ducking away from a seagull. (He ended up being shat on by that seagull anyway, shortly after the picture was taken. You’d found it hilarious of course). “Remember that trip we took to Brighton?”
The forlorn frown on your face wavers for a moment as you appraise the photo.
“Yeah,” you sniff. “That was fun.”
“Okay, how about this,” Dan scrolls through more pictures, picking another one out. “Your twenty-first. We had such a good night.”
The photo he presents is of you dancing on a table with a bottle of tequila in your hand, looking giddily happy. Dan had taken the picture after a few too many drinks so it’s lopsided and slightly blurry.
“Yeah,” you nod half-heartedly. “Great night.”
“Come on, what can I do to cheer you up?” he asks desperately, frowning at you.
“I don’t know,” you admit, “I just. I don’t know. I just feel kind of lonely right now I guess.”
“Yeah, that’s understandable,” Dan reassures you.
He’s conflicted because, as much as he hates to see you upset, he is very much relieved that your boyfriend is out of the picture.
He know it’s selfish and irrational but whenever he sees you with other guys… it makes him feel sick.
“It was for the best,” you heave out a sad sigh.
“For the record,” Dan states, “I never thought he was good enough for you.”
You laugh once and sniff.
“You never think anyone is good enough for me,” you point out.
“Only cos you’re better than everyone.”
You take a shaky breath, fighting a smile.
“When you say stuff like that I remember why I keep you around.”
“Well,” Dan corrects, keeping his tone light, “I obviously wasn’t including myself in that statement.”
“Right,” you laugh. “No one’s better than you.”
“Exactly,” Dan grins.
You look down with a small smile on your lips. Dan can tell you’re far from being fine though.
“Hey,” he calls your attention.
Your eyes snap back up to meet his through the webcam.
“What?”
“It’s gonna be okay, y'know,” he says sincerely. “You can have anyone you want. It’s his loss.”
You roll your eyes as Dan speaks.
“That’s not true -”
“It is! You may be annoying as fuck and shit at cooking and late to every social event and generally a massive turnip half the time -”
“Alright, alright, jeez-”
“But,” he finishes warmly. “You’re kind and funny and attractive and selfless and pretty fucking decent as far as human beings go.”
You cover your face with one hand in embarrassment. Dan grins.
“You think I’m attractive?” you ask with a jokey tone. Dan just rolls his eyes as you laugh. “Kidding!”
“You can do better than him,” Dan avoids answering you, reiterating his point.
“Thanks,” you smile. “You’re not too bad yourself, either, by the way,” you add with a small laugh.
Dan flashes a wide smile and frames his face with his hands in exaggeration to support your point.
“Oh, I know.”
The radio behind you, which has been playing soft music for the duration of the call, begins to emit a song that instantly wipes the humour from your face.
“What?” Dan inquires.
“Nothing. Just. He just used to love this song,” you answer, blinking furiously as if trying to hold back tears.
“Right, that’s it.”
“W-what?” you sniff, looking up at the screen.
“Turn that radio off, get in your pyjamas and light a candle,” Dan instructs.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m coming over and we’re gonna order pizza and you’re gonna feel better,” Dan informs you sternly, already beginning to get up and search for his jacket.
“You don’t have to –”
“I wasn’t asking,” he cuts you off.
Your features soften as you smile gratefully down the camera.
“Thank you, Dan.”
He scoops up his keys and prepares to end the Skype call.
“Anything you need, okay?”
He doesn’t think you realise quite how much he means that.
ii. “Oi loser,” Dan greets you as you answer his phone call.
It’s Saturday morning and he’s only just woken up. He doesn’t have any particular reason to be calling you but he always manages to find an excuse.
He can hear you scoff under your breath through the line.
“Charming,” you mutter. “What do you want?”
“I am in need of your assistance,” he informs you as he gets up out of bed and glances in the mirror. He reaches up to smooth down his hair which is sticking up in tufts from the long night’s sleep.
“If this is like that time you tricked me into leaving my house just so you could lock me out for five hours, I swear to God –”
Dan laughs at the memory, shaking his head.
(What? He was an asshole as a teenager).
“No, no, nothing like that,” he clarifies. “It’s my mum’s birthday next week.”
You’re silent for a moment.
“Yeah, I know,” you answer, sounding slightly confused. “And?”
Dan can’t help the twitch of his mouth into a small smile. Of course you know when his parents’ birthdays are. They’re like a second family to you so it’s hardly surprising.
But it makes him feel a fraction warmer knowing that you actually pay attention to what’s going on in his life.
“I need to get her a present and I was hoping you could come and help me?” his intonation rises for form a hopeful question. “I could really do with your input.”
It’s not even really a lie so Dan doesn’t feel too bad about dragging you out.
You laugh faintly on the other end of the line.
“Yes, okay. It would be cruel of me to leave you to your own devices. You’re useless at gift giving.”
“Oh, cheers,” Dan jokes.
He can practically hear you beaming.
“I’ll be over in ten.”
Dan gets ready briskly and you arrive not long after, jumping on the tube with him and heading to town.
You’re wearing a big fluffy coat to combat the sub-zero temperatures and it looks so fucking cute, honestly. Dan is personally offended.
It can’t have been more than twenty minutes into the trip before the two of you get bored of shopping and begin to mess around. You and Dan decide to play the Spot the Ugliest Piece of Clothing game in all the high street shops you enter. It’s surprisingly entertaining.
“Hey, this would suit you,” you call to Dan across the shop floor, holding up a hideous sequined Christmas jumper that’s on sale. You raise your eyebrows expectantly as Dan bursts into laughter. “I’ll grab you one, yeah?”
A few shoppers have turned to give you funny looks but Dan doesn’t really care. He loves that you can be as stupid as him sometimes.
“Fine, I’ll take it,” he allows, heading over to the rail where you are standing. “But only,” he continues sarcastically, “if you buy this one.”
Dan picks up the next ugliest garment his eyes fall on; a wet-look, black lycra top. You snort with laughter at the sight of it and take it from Dan for further inspection.
“It just looks like cheap leather from a distance. Actually,” you pause to consider, “this is something you would probably wear.”
You hold the hanger in the air in front of Dan as if trying to picture what it would look like on him.
“Oh, fuck off!” Dan snickers, grabbing it out your hand. “I would not wear that!”
“Your fashion choices can be questionable,” you shrug, smirking.
“How dare you,” Dan pouts. “I dress like Kanye.”
You take the clothes and begin to put them back on the rails, laughing.
“Hm, more like Dan-ye. Kanye’s less cool younger brother.”
“Fuck you,” Dan calls at your retreating back.
You turn to look at Dan over your shoulder, arching an eyebrow.
“Only if you ask nicely,” you wink.
Dan tries to laugh but it comes out as more of a choking inhalation of air. He’s glad you have your back to him so you can’t see his pathetic reaction to your words.
He knows you mean nothing by it. He knows your relationship is purely platonic.
But that doesn’t stop your words from giving him heart palpitations, regardless.
“Come on,” he clears his throat, “We haven’t got any birthday presents yet.”
“Okay, okay, yeah,” you nod, re-joining him and sauntering happily over to the accessories section of the shop. “I’ll find you something good.”
Dan follows you helplessly, embarrassingly mesmerised by every action you make and, just like that, the shopping adventure resumes.
iii. When Dan hears that you’ve had a bad day at work, the first thing he can think of to do is take you out for drinks.
You hadn’t been too keen at first but after Dan had nagged you sufficiently, you agreed that it might be fun to have a night out.
“I told you this was a good idea,” Dan smiles smugly at you as you sway to the music in your seat.
He’s taken you to your favourite bar in town – the one you always go on about that has multi-coloured fairy lights and the biggest selection of cocktails imaginable.
The two of you sit at one of the tables around the outside of the bar, away from the dancefloor area where people are grinding against each other. Dan has requested a few of your favourite songs to the DJ to cheer you up.
“Yeah, it was a good idea,” you nod happily, still bopping your head absently. “I love this song,” you murmur.
Dan smiles at you. You’re both a few drinks in but Dan can hold his alcohol a bit better than you so he’s only tipsy. You on the other hand -
“Let’s play would you rather,” you interrupt his thoughts, seeming overexcited.
You’re definitely a bit drunk but your hyperactivity is so sweet Dan just laughs.
“Are we twelve?” he raises his eyebrows in amusement.
“Yes, now go,” you instruct sternly, taking a sip of your Pornstar Martini.
“I don’t know!” Dan laughs. “It’s your stupid idea, you go.”
You pause to think. Dan watches you as you purse your lips. The top you’re wearing is distractingly low cut.
“Okay. Would you rather… Jennifer Lawrence or Megan Fox?”
Dan doesn’t miss a beat.
“Jennifer Lawrence. Easy.”
You roll your eyes, “you’re so predictable.”
“Okay, your turn,” Dan ignores your comment.
He proposes two of your favourite singers which makes you whinge in frustration. You hit back with some more A-list celebrities. Dan laughs at your responses, purposely picking people he knows you like. The game goes on for a while the two of you taking turns back and forth.
“Alright, I have one,” you declare after about ten minutes of playing, looking pleased with yourself. “Jennifer Lawrence -”
“What, again?” Dan interrupts impatiently. “Don’t waste your time, I’m gonna pick her over anyone.”
“I haven’t even finished yet!” you exclaim.
“Okay, fine,” Dan shrugs, finishing off his drink and wincing at the alcohol that has collected at the bottom of the glass. “Go on then.”
“Would you rather,” you smile smugly, dragging the question out. “Jennifer Lawrence,” you repeat, waiting a few suspenseful seconds before finishing, “or… me.”
Your eyes bore into Dan’s, sparkling with coy mischief.
Oh, Dan may or may not have also suggested going for drinks because you’re shamelessly flirtatious when drunk.
And he lowkey loves it.
(Don’t judge him, okay).
He pauses, trying to ignore the way his stomach is churning and the way you’re looking at him. You seem to find his hesitation entertaining, biting your lip to hold in the laughter.
“What’s the issue, Howell?” you lean forward teasingly.
“I can smell your perfume,” Dan blurts out.
Okay, maybe he’s a little tipsier than he realised.
“Hm?” you hum.
“It’s distracting,” he grumbles.
It’s true. You smell like a delicious combination of flowers and passion fruit and vanilla vodka.
“Stop avoiding the question,” you smirk, running a hand through your hair. “Me or JLaw?”
Jesus Christ, you’re so hot it should be illegal. Dan struggles to catch his breath.
“You,” he answers, automatically.
As soon as the word has left his mouth he regrets it. He should have lied. Why didn’t he just lie?
But, at the same time, he can’t bring himself to care that much.
The cocktails are definitely going to his head. Everything is slightly blurred around the edges.
You seem pleased with his answer, anyway.
“You slut,” you respond with a laugh.
Dan joins in, gaping.
“I’m not a slut.”
“You totally are!” you giggle with a wink. “A slut for me.”
Dan rolls his eyes. Sometimes he’s sure you know how he feels about you.
He’s not quite ready to deal with that tonight though, so he changes the subject.
“Same again?” Dan asks you across the table, gesturing towards the bar.
You nod, “please.”
Dan leaves you at the table and goes to the bar, in desperate need of some air.
Once the drinks have been ordered, he rubs his hands over his face, trying to force himself to snap out of it.
She’s your friend. That’s it.
The whole room spins a bit when he closes his eyes so he snaps them open and tries to focus.
It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so perfect. And the unnecessarily long stares you’ve been giving him haven’t helped either. Dan is one hundred per cent sure you’re going to be the death of him.
As he waits for the drinks to be made Dan turns around to check on you.
His heart lurches.
Some guy has gone over and is talking to you. Chatting you up by the looks of it. You’re throwing your head back in laughter as the guy says something clearly hilarious.
Dan doesn’t know why he’s surprised. You’re an attractive girl sitting alone in a bar, why wouldn’t someone hit on you?
Besides, it’s not like he owns you.
He wishes he didn’t feel so queasy.
The guy leans down to whisper something to you and tucks your hair behind your ear. You gladly let him, smiling seductively.
“Great,” Dan mutters to himself, drumming his fingers on the bar surface in anxious dread.
Don’t be pathetic, he hisses to himself internally. It doesn’t affect you.
When the drinks are paid for, Dan heads back over to the table, plastering a very false smile onto his face. You don’t notice him straight away; too engrossed in your conversation with the stranger.
“Oh – hey!” you catch Dan’s eye, smiling. “That was quick.”
Dan nods half-heartedly, placing the drinks down.
“Let me introduce you!” you cry overexcitedly. You turn to your new acquaintance and gesture to Dan. “This is my best friend Dan,” you speech is slurred.
Dan practically winces. The words best friend have never stung so much.
“Dan, this is –”
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he interrupts, clearing his throat.
He’d rather not know any more about the guy you’re probably going to hook up with than strictly necessary.
You stare up at him, looking hurt.
“But –”
“You guys don’t want me hanging around anyway,” he jokes, trying to not to sound as deflated as he’s feeling.
“That’s not –”
“I’ll text you in a bit,” he finishes, turning and leaving before you can protest any further.
He waits until he’s reached the edge of the room before turning back to look once. The guy you’re with has his arm on your leg and is whispering to you again already. You seem instantly distracted.
Dan walks away.
iv. It’s a Wednesday evening that you’re next sitting on the sofa in Dan’s apartment, flashing wide, pleading eyes at him.
“Please?”
Dan sighs in exasperation but gets up to put the DVD you brought into the player regardless.
“I don’t understand why you’d want to watch Titanic anyway. You always cry at the end!”
“It’s amazing and you know it,” you wave him off, clapping in excitement as the disc loads and Dan re-joins you on the couch. You tilt your head towards him and beam gratefully. “Thank you.”
“I don’t know why I can never say no to you,” he mutters, shaking his head with a smile.
“Because I’m so cute,” you reply, flashing him a grin.
Dan laughs, picking up the TV remote.
“Yeah probably,” he murmurs, pressing buttons and focusing on the screen.
The movie starts in the next moment, dramatic opening credits filling the room. You rest your head against Dan’s shoulder and he smiles.
He really doesn’t know why you love this film so much when the ending is so upsetting. But, like he said. He can never say no to you.
As the film starts and you go quiet, your eyes fixated on the screen, Dan can’t help his mind wandering. Your cheek feels so warm pressed against his arm. He has to resist the sudden urge to reach down and stroke your hair.
It’s moments like this that are the hardest for him. To an outsider, the two of you probably look like a couple. Snuggled up on his sofa on a weekday night, pressed together to conserve warmth on what feels like the coldest bloody winter night imaginable.
Maybe in another life, Dan contemplates.
He tries to pay attention to film instead of torturing himself with what ifs. He knows the storyline like the back of his hand so it goes by quickly.
A few hours pass. You remain where you are, curled up against him.
He doesn’t mind one bit.
When the inevitably heart-breaking scene unfolds, Dan braces himself for your reaction. He would usually be tearing up himself, truth be told, but he has been paying more attention to you than the film to really feel much sadness. He feels your frame begin to shake slightly and the muffle of muted sniffs.
“Hey, are you okay?” Dan whispers.
“Shh!” you hiss, silencing him.
He laughs under his breath, staying quiet. The scene unravels further and Dan can see your chest rising and falling rapidly. You’re shuddering. Soft whimpers escape your lips as you wipe your hand over your face.
Dan waits until the scene has completely ended before opening his mouth again for fear of annoying you.
“Hey,” he mumbles, nudging you.
You sit up slowly, removing your face from his shoulder. There’s a damp patch in his T-shirt where your tears have soaked through the fabric.
As you sit up and reveal your full reaction, Dan can see the extent of your distress.
“Hey,” he gasps, his tone a combination of amusement and surprise. “You know it’s not real, right?”
“It’s just so –” you sniff and breathe in shallow breaths, struggling to speak between the gentle sobs. “It’s so unfair, why can’t they just – be together?”
Dan swallows the lump that has suddenly appeared in his throat. He didn’t realise how affected he would be by the sight of you crying. He feels almost an instinctive need to comfort you.
“I know,” he nods sympathetically.
You lean in for an embrace and you wrap your arms around his neck. Dan tightens his grip around you, squeezing tight. You continue to sniffle next to his ear.
“It’s okay,” Dan soothes.
“Why did we watch that?” you wail desperately.
Dan laughs, rubbing your back.
“I told you it was a bad idea,” he responds with a sigh.
You pull back from the hug but Dan keeps his hand on your back, holding you close. Your faces are only a few inches apart. You freeze and lock eyes with him, your lip still quivering.
“I hate seeing you upset y’know,” Dan speaks in a hushed voice, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from under your eye.
His hand lingers in place, stroking your cheek. Your eyes flutter closed and you lean your face against his palm.
“I can’t help it,” you breathe.
The film continues to play but it’s nothing more than background noise. Suddenly the room seems quiet and the only sound Dan can hear is your short breaths.
His eyes wander over your features, noticing everything. The salty tear tracks meandering down your warm skin. The pink flush glowing on your cheekbones. The way your lower lip is slightly reddened from being nervously bitten. If he focuses really hard, even the faraway thudding of your heartbeat seems almost visible through your chest.
Your eyes slowly unclose as the silence stretches on. Dan meets your gaze, his stare intense.
“Dan?” you say his name as a question, your brow furrowing.
Dan remains silent for a moment longer, debating what to do next.
He could keep his mouth shut. He could tell you never mind and go back to finishing the movie and continue living his life as your best friend.
But he knows it’s not enough.
So he ignores all sense of reason and says the only thing he can think of.
The words come out no louder than a whisper.
“Can I kiss you?”
Your lips part in surprise, a tiny gasp escaping. Dan watches your reaction as the weight of his words slowly sink in.
You blink once, twice, three times.
Seconds tick on.
Without a word, eventually you swallow and take a breath. Then you nod.
“You sure?” Dan checks.
You nod again.
“Yes.” Your voice is hoarse.
Dan can’t wait any longer. He’s already waited twenty five years for God’s sake.
Moving slowly as if not to startle you, Dan edges forward and closes the small space between the two of you. He pauses a few millimetres from your face. He can feel your warm breath against his skin. Your lower lip brushes against his.
The tension in the room is suffocating.
Dan can feel it in every inch of his body. He can feel you. All that you are. All that you mean to him.
When his lips finally connect with yours in a tender kiss, you’re quivering. Dan can’t help but notice how your mouths seems to fit together effortlessly, as if made for one another.
The kiss is only short but Dan feels a heat building in his chest at the mere contact.
He moves away and looks at your wide, doe-eyes, unsure of how to proceed.
“Well,” you breathe. “Okay.”
Dan smiles awkwardly.
“That was…”
“That was nice,” you finish, seeming stunned.
“Don’t sound so surprised,” he attempts to crack a joke, watching your reaction apprehensively.
Luckily, you laugh and shove him lightly.
“Shut up.”
Dan raises a suggestive eyebrow, mimicking the expression you regularly supply him with.
“Make me.”
You exhale heavily.
“Fucking flirt,” you mumble, unable to hide the smirk from your face.
You pounce forward and kiss Dan again, catching his lower lip between yours and stroking a hand over his jaw. Dan lets out a sound of surprise against your mouth but is quickly kissing you back with a lustful urgency.
His mouth opens and he breathes in your sweet scent, tracing his tongue over yours carefully. Every part of you feels so right under his touch.
I THINK SO???? worst time to start writing again as i have a lot of deadlines coming up lmao but i am gonna sure as heck try and also i love u a lot for ur lovely words god bless u
Oh my fucking god I just discovered your blog and your fics are SO GOOD wow wow wow wow usually I have trouble finding good smut that I like but your stories are fucking amazing I'm absolutely blown away I mean WOW you are such an incredibly good writer omfg I'm so obsessed your writing is the best I've ever seen ,, your fics are seriously so good, so so good omg
w O w what oh my goodness thank you so so much ??????? it is crazy that you even like my stuff i can’t read my old fics without cringing cos they are so bad omg but THANK U i love writing these and am trying to get back into it, life sadly always gets in the way. but thank u soossososo much for this message u babe
Holy shit I used to be hella obsessed with Dan back in like, 2013 (still am tbh) and I remember reading your fics and you have no idea how much it means to know you still write omg keep up! Ly!
lmao same i am so old and crusty i don’t even know why i am still on the internet but ANYWAY ahhhhhhhhhhhhh bro that is insane and amazing thank u so much for reading my shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!!?!!!!? ily hella
i’M sO sOrRY for being such a pile of shit liFe iS sO StResSfUL and sometimes i disappear for 3 months apparently i am so sorry but yo i am okay thank u so much for caring u wonderful
You and Dan have been dating for three months when he asks you to the party.
You’re just ‘seeing each other’, nothing crazy. No commitment, no labels, no exclusivity. Just casual dating.
It’s still early days but it’s going well so far.
Really, really well.
(Truth be told, you’re falling for him fast and hard and you’re not entirely sure how to stop).
“You look really nice tonight,” Dan says as he picks you up that evening.
The party is being thrown by Dan’s friend who has just graduated university. It was originally only supposed to be a small celebration but, from what you’ve heard, quite a few people are going.
House parties aren’t always your scene so you had been tempted to decline the invitation, but you can’t deny that it was sweet of Dan to ask you. (Besides, who could say no to his puppy-dog face?).
“Are you sure this dress isn’t too short?” you ask again, tugging at the hem.
“You look great,” Dan reassures you. “Don’t stress.”
You look up at him in the driver’s seat of the car, smiling. He’s wearing a black long-sleeved top with jeans and looks hot as hell.
“Thanks,” you murmur, your brain buzzing from the few glasses of wine that you have had in preparation for the evening.
“You know,” Dan comments, scratching his head. “We’ve never actually been drunk in front of each other.”
You blink and process his words.
“Huh. I guess you’re right.”
In the short time you’ve been seeing each other, your and Dan’s dates have been fairly vanilla. You usually just hang out and watch a movie or go for a meal or a coffee. Neither of you are massively big drinkers anyway so it makes sense that you are yet to get sloshed together.
“Not that I’m drinking tonight,” he adds.
“Ugh,” you groan, remembering that Dan has to stay sober to drive you both home at the end of the night. “So boring.”
“We have to get home somehow!” he laughs.
“We could have got a cab.”
“I don’t need to drink, I’ll have a good time if you’re there,” he insists.
You feel your cheeks warming up at his words. Dan’s dumb, cheesy compliments still give you butterflies.
“We’ll see about that,” you say. “I won’t be drinking a lot anyway.”
(Famous last words).
After arriving at your destination, you and Dan promptly greet the host and his friends and get all the awkward conversations about the nature of your relationship out the way.
(“Oh so you are you guys, like, a couple now? You look so cute together!”
“We’re not official we’re just kind of dating.”
“You’d make a great couple though!”
“We’re just seeing how things go.”
“You look like a couple!”
“We’re. Just. Dating.”)
It was super fun.
Once that was all done you had headed to the impromptu bar (i.e. table covered in plastic cups and half empty spirit bottles) and poured yourself a strong vodka cranberry, downing it in just a few gulps. The questions about your and Dan’s relationship had made you feel instantly on edge but the alcohol helped. It made everything slightly fuzzy and calmer.
“Sorry about them,” Dan mumbles as you drink, referring to his friends and their questions.
“It’s fine,” you dismiss, pouring out another drink.
“People love labels,” he sighs. Watching what you’re doing, Dan purses his lips. “Are you sure you want to drink so fast?”
“I need it,” you gulp it down. “Takes the edge off.”
Dan nods sympathetically.
“Fair enough. I really am sorry for all the questions –”
“It’s fine. Come on, no moping!” you order, already feeling a vodka-y kick and a faint buzz. “Come dance with me?”
You begin to move in time to the hammering bass, edging towards the dancefloor and shooting Dan an overly seductive look. He laughs at you but obliges in spite of himself, placing his hands on your hips and moving with you. You quickly finish your second drink and throw your hands around his neck, joining other sweaty bodies and dancing blissfully.
“You look really sexy tonight,” you shout to be heard over the music.
Dan laughs again, his eyes crinkling in the most adorable way.
“So do you.”
You read his lips and grin.
“You think?”
The song playing has so much thumping, it’s going straight through your head. The few drinks you’ve had gradually begin to take effect, making all of your movements seem heavier. Your brain fizzles, tuning into the music and blocking out everything out for a moment. Your body reacts of its own accord and suddenly you’re pressed up to Dan, grinding against him.
“Woah - hey,” his voice is absent and vague so you ignore him.
Dan feels so good you just want your hands on him, all of him. He’s embarrassed at first but loosens up after a minute or so, pulling you close to him. You turn around and bend over, dancing with your ass in the air and backing into Dan’s crotch.
“I love this song!” you yell distractedly, swaying to the sounds that fill the room.
No one around pays you much attention.
Dan’s hands snake down past your waist and hips, trailing along the hem of your short dress. Part of you wants to get away from the party and go back to his, be tangled in his grey sheets and covered in his hungry kisses.
But you are also having a lot of fun where you are.
You stand back up and face Dan, leaning forwards to kiss his neck.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he practically groans the words, sounding as if he’s in pain.
“You’re getting super laid later,” you beam happily.
Dan laughs.
“How many drinks have you had?” he asks teasingly.
“You should have one!” you try to convince him.
“Gotta stay sober,” Dan reminds you.
“One drink won’t hurt!”
“God, you’re stubborn,” he shakes his head looking amused. “No drinks.”
“Didn’t realise you were so lame, Howell.”
“You’re mean sometimes, y'know.”
“I know,” you grin.
Dan rolls his eyes, kissing you on the nose quickly.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, okay, I’ll be right back,” he tells you.
“Sure,” you nod, adding, “want me to join?” with a wink.
“You stay here and be good,” he laughs.
He turns and disappears into the crowd in the next moment, leaving you alone. You watch him go, dancing on your own quite contentedly.
You’re only alone for a few seconds, though, before someone grabs your arm.
“Hey! y/n!”
You turn to see one of your uni friends standing behind you, her eyes looking hazy.
“Hey!” you squeal. “Great to see you!”
“I’m looking for someone to do shots with,” she says, “I don’t want to do them on my own.”
You grin, thrilled.
“Shots sound amazing.”
--
Eight tequila shots and a lot of dancing later, you bump back into Dan.
He’s wandering about alone, a small, concerned crease between his eyebrows.
“y/n!” he looks relieved to see you. “I’ve been looking for you!”
“Sorry,” you drawl, dragging the word out then laughing. “I was partying!”
You internally wince at the word ‘partying’. You sound so stupid but you can’t seem to stop yourself.
Everyone around you blurs into one colourful mass. You feel wobbly on your feet.
“How much have you had to drink?” Dan asks, arching an eyebrow.
“Not that much,” you roll your eyes, grabbing his hand. “Let’s dance!”
“I think we should get you some water,” he suggests, pulling you towards the kitchen.
“Do you wanna make out?” you follow him, tripping every now and again.
The ground seems bumpier than usually. Every step makes your head spin.
You hear Dan laughing ahead of you.
“I do but maybe have a drink first,” he answers. “A non-alcoholic drink, I mean.”
“Then can we make out?”
“Sure.”
You fall over into the open-plan kitchen area, Dan catching you in his arms. There are no other people in the small space so you can finally breathe without being surrounded by bodies.
Dan pours you out a glass of water and brings it over, holding it to your lips.
“I’d rather have a cocktail,” you pout.
“Come on,” he laughs, “just have a bit of this. For me?”
You mutter under your breath but do as you’re told.
“I’m expecting a reward for this,” you murmur.
Dan just smirks at you, taking the glass once you’re done.
“Feel any better?” he asks.
You think about the question, shutting your eyes and focusing on the pounding in your temples.
“Not really,” you frown. “I think I did one shot too many.”
“Maybe,” Dan agrees. “We should probably get you to bed,” he suggests, rubbing your back sympathetically.
You lean into his embrace, annoyed by your own idiocy. Why did you get so fucked? You feel growingly nauseous.
And of course any chance of getting laid is now completely out the window. If you try to be intimate with Dan in this state, you’re pretty sure you’ll barf on him.
“Do you want me to drive you home?” Dan asks.
His words annoy you for some reason. You had kind of been hoping to go back to Dan’s apartment with him rather than your own place.
“No,” you say simply.
“No?” Dan’s brow furrows. “I really think -”
“I don’t care, I don’t care anymore,” you huff, suddenly angry.
You can feel all your emotions from the past few months bubbling to the surface, ready to boil over. You know you should try and stop yourself but you don’t have the strength to censor your speech.
“Look,” you say, trying to sound confident but coming across as a vaguely drunken mess. Your words are slurring together. “I’m sick of this.”
Dan’s face falls instantly, a look of panic settling on his features.
“Sick of what? Do you not want to see me anymore or -”
“Sick of all this bullshit,” you interrupt, waving your hands around as you speak and practically shouting the words. “Like. What the fuck even are we doing?” you cry in exasperation. “What are we doing? ‘Seeing each other’?” You make air quotes with your hands as you put emphasis on the phrase. “What does that even mean? We’re not just 'seeing each other’! That’s such a bullshit term! We’re feeling things for each other and kissing and having sex and building a relationship - that’s more than just seeing each other!”
Dan just looks shocked as you speak, attempting to follow your train of thought but seeming confused
“You don’t want to -”
“Like I know we said we could see other people and that we’re not exclusive but I’m dying,” you groan, expelling your thoughts without any kind of filter, “like, I’m constantly wondering if you’re hooking up with someone else or if you’re thinking about someone else and it drives me fucking crazy! And I know I said I got with that other guy since meeting you but that was a lie. I haven’t wanted to be with anyone else I’ve just - these past few months with you I’ve been so happy and I -”
“I haven’t been with anyone since we got together,” Dan cuts you off with a soft smile. He’s close to you, one of his hands around your waist. “I haven’t wanted to. I only agreed to seeing other people because I was trying to play it cool,” he admits.
You reach forward and kiss him, humming under your breath at the feel of his chapped lips and warm breath.
“You taste like lemons,” you murmur.
Dan laughs throatily.
“I’ve been drinking lemonade.”
“When are we gonna be official?” you demand abruptly. Your vision is blurring so badly you can see two pairs of cute dimples in front of you.
“Official as in… you’d be my girlfriend?”
“And you could be my boyfriend,” you finish. “I think it makes sense since I’m already in love with you.”
A small sense of horror flashes through your mind as you register what you’ve said. Dan’s jaw drops open.
The words that have left your mouth don’t seem bad though. You don’t regret it. They just sound so right.
“Wh - really?” Dan stutters.
“Yes. I love you,” you declare again, raising your voice to repeat it, “I love you, I love you!” A person brushes past you, on their way to the smoking area. “Hey!” you exclaim, grabbing the girl by the arm, “I love him!” you announce, pointing to Dan.
The girl just shrugs, “okay,” before continuing on her way.
You decide that’s not enough so you pull a free chair towards you and clamber atop of it, wobbly on your feet. You almost fall but Dan catches you and steadies you by holding your waist.
“What are you doing?” he asks in distress. “You’re gonna fall!”
“Hey, everybody!” you shout, cupping your hands around your mouth so that the sound travels further. “I love Dan Howell!” you yell as loud as your lungs will allow.
Your voice is partially drowned out by the loud music playing. Most people ignore you. A few clap and cheer. One guy wolf-whistles.
You look down at Dan proudly to see that he’s almost doubled over laughing.
“You are absolutely crazy,” he manages to get out, shaking his head. “Come on, you’ve gotta get down or you’ll fall!”
“But do you love me?” you question in response, shouting down at him to be heard.
Dan shakes his head in disbelief, still smirking in amusement.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know!” you exclaim. “That’s why I’m asking!”
“Yes, I love you!” Dan roars. “How could I not love you?!”
You let out a short, excited scream, completely involuntarily.
“He totally loves me back!” you broadcast to the crowd, throwing your hands in the air.
Somehow your drunken brain decides that it’s a good idea to take a small jump of victory, momentarily forgetting that you’re standing on top of a chair.
It happens pretty fast to be honest. One second you’re in the air.
Then your leg is slipping.
And you’re falling.
Dan is shouting.
Then nothing.
--
You wake up with the worst headache of your life.
Your whole head is thumping but there’s a certain point in your temple that is throbbing even worse than everywhere else. You reach up and feel a small lump there; the flesh on top is sensitive and bruised.
Wincing, you think back to the party last night. God, you were so drunk. What a nightmare.
You look around for your phone, only just then realising that you’re Dan’s bed. In his apartment.
You blink your way into reality, focusing on your surroundings. Great. So you didn’t even make it home last night.
At that moment, the door of the room pushes open and Dan pops his head round the corner.
“Morning,” he smiles, “mind if I-”
“Sure,” you croak, nodding for him to come inside.
He walks over to the bed and perches on the side, handing you a glass of water. You sip it gratefully, soothing your aching throat. You don’t even want to think about what you look like.
“How are you doing?”
“Great,” you mutter sarcastically, shooting Dan a thumbs up.
He just laughs and strokes your cheek. His hands are rough and warm.
“Pretty wild night, huh?”
You cover your face with your hands and mumble into them.
“Fuck.”
“Hey,” Dan laughs pulling your hands away. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Well I wouldn’t know, I can’t remember anything.”
Laughing again, he takes a breath.
“Like I said. It wasn’t bad.”
“Your tone suggests otherwise,” you frown. “Come on then, hit me with it.”
“There’s really not a lot. You just had a lot to drink and had a good night,” he tells you.
“Why does my head sting like fuckery?”
Dan snorts.
“You fell off a chair.”
“Oh, God.” You faintly recall tumbling towards the ground at full speed. “That would explain it.”
“It’s just a bump, nothing terrible. You knocked yourself out for, like, half a second, which was scary but you seemed alright after a while and I got Paul, you know the med student, to check you over. He said you were fine and to get you to bed so I just brought you here. I thought it would be best for you to sleep at mine rather than at yours. Just so I could check on you in case you needed anything, I mean.”
Your mouth twitches into a small smile.
“Thanks for looking after me.”
“No problem,” Dan grins.
“Anything else I should know about?” you sigh, gulping down some more water. “I didn’t get naked or dance on a table did I?”
Dan laughs awkwardly, clearing his throat.
“Um, no not quite.”
You raise your eyebrows, staring at him.
“What?”
He looks very pleased with himself as he answers.
“You told me you love me.”
Your stomach lurches the second Dan finishes his sentence.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Flashbacks to the night before appear behind your eyes. You remember saying the words to him. More than once.
You open your mouth, unable to make a coherent sound.
“Uh -” you stammer out some noises, suddenly sweating.
Why had you said that? You’ve only been seeing him for a few months! Now you just look desperate and clingy and -
“I said it back,” Dan says after a minute or so.
Your eyebrows shoot up.
“You - really?”
Dan shuffles forwards and kisses the side of your mouth. You bite your lip and smile at him.
“Of course, you noob. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while actually.”
“You…” you trail off, not quite believing his words.
“I love you.” He reaches forward and places a light kiss on your temple. “Even if you are slightly insane.”
Your face heats up in embarrassment but you grin in spite of yourself, throwing your arms around his neck.
“I love you too,” you murmur, nuzzling his neck.
“I know,” Dan replies, pleased.
You pull back and shove him.
“Okay, that can’t be your response every time I say it.”
“Are you planning on saying it a lot then?” Dan teases.
“Maybe,” you muse. “Only if you want me to stick around.”
He nods.
“I definitely want you to stick around,” he insists.
“I’ll keep saying it if I think you deserve to hear it,” you pull a falsely stern expression.
Dan mocks your serious look.
“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” he states. “Promise.”
“I kind of want to see the opposite,” you counter with a smirk. “Since you got to see me making an idiot of myself last night, it seems only fair. I wanna know what drunk Dan is like.”
Dan narrows his eyes, his voice low and flirty.
“Are you asking me on a date?”
You wink at him.
“Depends. Are you interested?”
Dan leans forward to kiss you properly, obviously not put off by your morning, alcohol breath. He catches your lower lip in his teeth, lingering close to you before breaking contact.
A/N: tysm for all the excellent suggestions for this fic n apologies for the wait
part 1 / The Girlfriend Tag
“This feels familiar,” you muse.
You’re sat on Dan’s chequered bed as he adjusts the camera and lighting, grinning.
“Gotta give the people what they want,” he shrugs.
You roll your eyes. Hard to believe that it’s you that they seem to want to see. Dan had posted his Girlfriend Tag video a month ago, revealing your relationship with him to his huge audience. The response had been overwhelming. Your social media had instantly blown up with nice messages and love and support. You were so pleasantly surprised by the internet’s reaction.
Many of Dan’s viewers had also requested a part two to the original video so, after some light persuasion, you had been convinced to re-enter the world of YouTube tag videos.
“Hello internet,” Dan begins his intro after settling down on the bed and shuffling close to you, “today y/n is back on my bed!”
You laugh and wave.
“You make it sound weird,” you nudge him.
“As you were all so supportive of the last video we did together –”
“Thank you for that,” you interrupt, smiling warmly, “we really, really appreciate it.”
“Yeah and so many of you requested a part two so we thought we would film the Boyfriend Tag for you today,” Dan beams. “I’m really excited for this actually.”
“Why?”
“Because now we can all see how well you do compared to me,” he arches an intrigued eyebrow, “see who’s the better bae.”
“Did you just say bae?” you snort.
“Ironically,” he sighs.
“Sure, okay,” you say disbelievingly. “But yeah,” you address the camera directly, “this will test our relationship and find out how good of a girlfriend I am once and for all.”
You place your head in your hands, laughing.
“You better get them all right,” Dan threatens jokily.
“I’m nervous! You did really well.”
“Oh my God,” Dan gasps excitedly, “can we have a forfeit if you do really badly?” he requests, clapping his hands. “Like my video with Tyler where we shocked each other.”
You groan loudly, glaring at him.
“Are you trying to hurt me?”
“I just want to motivate you to do well,” he winks.
“Okay, okay fine. Do I have to get a percentage right or something –”
“No, I’ll decide at the end if you passed or not.”
“Alright, fair,” you nods, biting your lip nervously. “What’s the forfeit then?”
“Umm,” he narrows his eyes in thought, tapping a hand on his leg. You wait, wondering what stupid punishments he is thinking of. “I could take away your laptop?” Dan suggests, knowing that you’re as addicted to the internet as he is.
“No way, that’s too mean! Besides I need it for work,” you frown.
“Okay, okay,” he thinks some more. “Ooh! I know,” he grins.
“What?” your voice is thick with concern.
“If you don’t pass the test, you don’t get sex for two weeks,” he decides.
Your jaw drops. You stare at him, horrified by his suggestion.
“That’s unfair!” you protests.
“You better do well then!” he teases.
“What if I do really well?” you argue. “Can I have a reward?”
He laughs.
“Like what?”
“Like… the opposite of my punishment?” you hedge.
“What would that be? A lot of sex for two weeks?” he bursts out laughing as you nods.
“Yes please.”
“You’re such an idiot,” he shoves you, getting his phone to read the tag questions off of.
“You love me anyway,” you smile.
“Mmm,” he mumbles distractedly, scrolling through the questions.
“Hey!” you poke him.
“Yes, I love you,” he smirks, leaning over to kiss your temple. He lowers his lips down to your cheek, then your jaw, then your neck. You hum under your breath, moving closer until you can feel his hands around your waist.
“Dan…” you groan.
He smiles against your skin.
“Yes?”
“We need to film the video!” you pull away and turn to him. “Stop distracting me!”
He just laughs again but does as he’s told.
“Okay.”
“You better edit that out.”
He says nothing.
“Okay, shall we get on with the questions?” you ask.
“Yes!” Dan does an explosion gesture with his hands. “Boyfriend Tag, let’s go!”
You both wait a couple of seconds so that Dan can insert a title and some dramatic animations.
“Okay, I’m going to skip the ones that we’ve already done like our first date and stuff,” he dismisses. “Gonna skip straight to the good stuff.”
“Not sure what you count as the good stuff,” you murmur, awaiting the inquisition, “but okay.”
“Number one,” Dan begins, turning to you in anticipation. “What was your first impression of me?”
“Hm, that’s a good question,” you mumble, mulling it over.
“Why thank you,” Dan pretends to bow.
“I mean, when we met you were a bit of a dick –”
“I wasn’t!”
“Mistaking me for a waitress at that party was pretty rude!” you argue. “So I thought you were kind of a douche, I’ll be honest.”
“Oh great,” Dan mutters sarcastically.
“But you were so instantly sweet and apologetic about it I knew you weren’t actually a dick. And you got me a drink so I obviously liked you.”
Dan’s lips curl into a relieved smile at that.
“Oh okay.”
“I thought you were pretty cute,” you continue.
“I knew it,” Dan smirks happily. “She totally fancied me,” he tells the audience.
“Oh fuck off,” you roll your eyes. “You’re the one who took me to get drinks afterwards!”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay, do I have any weird obsessions?”
“There are so many,” you groan. “How am I meant to narrow it down?”
“I don’t have that many!” he defends.
“You get obsessed with any and every anime,” you list things off on your fingers, “and Japanese culture cos you’re a fucking weeaboo. Oh, and putting everything in a certain order –”
“There’s nothing weird about symmetry!”
“Yeah but you take it to extremes! Like when you order all the plates in the kitchen with half the small ones on each side instead of one big pile –”
“There’s too many for one pile! And they look all aesthetic when they’re symmetrical.”
“You’re insane,” you laugh. “Next question.”
“How long have we been together?”
“You already answered this in your tag –”
“Yeah but I wanna see if you know it,” Dan clarifies.
“We’ve been together for a year and three months,” you answer without missing a beat. “Ha!”
“Dammit, I thought you would at least need time to think about it,” he admits.
“I’m an amazing girlfriend, what can I say?” you dramatically flip your hair over your shoulder.
“What was our first road trip together?”
“Uh,” you think back to the days when you and Dan had just started dating. “It was that time you took me on a random trip to that weird bar across town. And we stayed in a crappy hotel that had like four rooms and you played the Backstreet Boys for the whole journey.”
Dan laughs and nods as you tell the story.
“Is that right?” you ask happily, looking at him for conformation.
“That is correct,” he smiles. “That was a great trip.”
“It actually was,” you agree.
“Okay, what was the first thing you noticed about me?” Dan smiles sweetly.
“Dimples,” you answer simply.
“That’s such a cop out answer.”
“It’s true!” you exclaim. “That and your height.”
“So boring,” Dan shakes his head in disappointment.
“Jeez, sorry,” you laugh.
Dan reaches over to kiss you quickly, grinning.
“Just kidding.”
You take a second to look at the camera.
“I would just like to point out that I am nailing these questions so far,” you whisper proudly.
“We’ll see what the final score is,” Dan says, sounding unconvinced.
“I’m not worried anymore,” you inform him. “Turns out I’m pretty good at this relationship stuff.”
“May I remind you that I got all the questions right,” he points out.
“Oh, shut up,” you laugh. “Next.”
“This is a good one!” Dan hollers, looking at the list. “If I am watching TV, what am I watching?”
“You’re always watching TV,” you complain.
“Uh, no, sometimes I’m on tumblr,” Dan disputes, making you laugh.
“Okay, TV shows. Well, it depends. You’re usually watching something dumb like Bake Off or Masterchef or Strictly whenever they’re on, like those dumb competition shows.”
Dan laughs, “yeah, true. What about right now though?”
“Right now?” you trail off in thought. “Oh! Bates Motel? You’re always watching that. Is that it?”
“Correct!” Dan cries dramatically. “I’m proud of you,” he kisses you again.
“Thanks,” you beam happily.
Dan continues down the list and you continue to get the questions right, just as he did. You don’t really know why you were worried in the first place. You and Dan know each other so well at this point you probably know more about him than you even realise.
“What is my eye colour?” Dan asks, covering his eyes. “No cheating!”
“Brown,” you laugh, “I don’t need to cheat.”
“Well done,” Dan reveals his face and winks at the camera.
“I’m amazing at this.”
“Who is my best friend?” he reads.
“Phil,” you answer, “obviously.”
“Where am I from?” Dan leans closer, narrowing his eyes to throw you off.
“Reading,” you say confidently, “or Wokingham if you want to be specific. You took me there when we got together because I had never been and it’s such a nice place, it’s all green and pretty.”
“Damn, you do listen sometimes.”
“Of course I know where you’re from!”
“The next question is do I play any sports so –”
You cut Dan off with laughter which he joins in with.
“I’m gonna have to say no,” you murmur.
“I will give you that one,” Dan allows. “The final question is if I could live anywhere, where would it be?”
“Uh,” you chew on the inside of your cheek, thinking. “Japan?”
“Yeah,” Dan nods after considering it for a moment. “Only if you came with me.”
“Aww,” you grin, kissing him gently. His chapped lips are warm under yours. “You’re such a loser,” you murmur.
“Shh,” he ignores you. “Okay so those were all the questions! And you actually got them all right, God damn.”
“Woo!” you throw your hands in the air in celebration. “I am the greatest girlfriend in the world!”
“I also got all the questions right about you, though,” Dan highlights pointedly.
“I guess we’re just a really great couple,” you decide.
“I’m very proud of you for getting them all correct,” he smiles, holding your hand in his and stroking your palm with his thumb. “You’re a great girlfriend.”
“You’re alright yourself,” you tease as Dan kisses you. When he pulls away you add, “you should make that the thumbnail, you’ll get more views.”
“Shut up,” Dan laughs.
“Thanks for watching and we hope you enjoyed this ridiculously unimaginative tag video.”
“Let us know in the comments which one of us you think performed better,” you chime in, “although we all know it was me.”
“We’ll see what everyone has to say,” Dan laughs. “Don’t forget to like and subscribe and all that stuff.”
“Thanks for having me on your channel,” you say to him, flashing a smile.
“Thanks for being on my channel,” Dan returns. “Until my next video –”
“I.e. in twelve years,” you mutter teasingly.
“Bye!” he finishes with a laugh.
You wave with Dan as the video ends. Once it’s over you turn to him, grinning sweetly.
“That was good!” you say in relief.
“Yeah it was,” Dan agrees. “You did well.”
“I’m amazed I didn’t fuck up to be honest,” you laugh.
“Seriously, thanks for filming with me,” he mumbles gratefully. “Love you.”
Dan leans forward to kiss you, slightly more fiercely than he normally would on camera.
“Love you,” you breathe in return.
Without consciously meaning to, you slowly fall backwards onto Dan’s bed, pulling him with you.
“I’m ready to collect my reward now,” you declare, “for doing so well.”
Dan says nothing, he just looms over you, kissing you intensely, running his tongue over yours. His hands are wandering up and down your body. He tastes so good, you melt against his frame.
“You’re the best girlfriend,” Dan growls almost hungrily.
“You’re the best boyfriend,” you reply.
“I think,” he tells you in between burning kisses, “we make a really good couple.”
You nod, feeling Dan’s teeth graze your ear.
“I think so too.”
You genuinely do think that you and Dan are great together. You’re not too bad at making videos together either.
You definitely think you’ll be gate-crashing his YouTube channel more in the future.
Hi, I just finished reading your story 'Just Stay', and holy blazing shit it was fucking insane. like well done it was soo well written and I think you touched on such an important subject and portrayed the difficulty of going through eating disorders really well. I was devastated when I saw that just the epilogue was left, bcos I've just been glued to my screen for the last couple of days reading this. once again, well done and I hope you become an author someday bcos wow just wow. Xxxx
holy macaroni this is one of the best messages i have ever received hands down w o w i cannot believe you enjoyed it so much !!! it is obviously a story that’s super important to me bcos it’s so personal and i was really nervous to post it so your support is appreciated soso much. and becoming an author is the ultimate dream tbh so thank u so much for your lovely words, truly ❤️
So your latest fic is bomb and I had tons of fun reading it! You always know how to write a good plot that's fun to follow and spice it up with some humor so it's not just meaningless bangs you know :) but ofc the smut was top notch as well :) you are a fantastic writer! 💓
ilysm (but u already know that) and so so glad u liked it!!!! thanks for being such an utter babe <333
Hey this is not a request or anything but a help tip. So you have a ask box where people can requests imagines and stuff. But Idk how to get an ask box, do you have any tips how to get one as i don't know how. Thanks
Hey! I’ll be honest I’m not 100% sure what you’re asking
If you mean how do you get to my askbox, you’re already there! Just go to danhowellimaginefics.tumblr.com/askbox and you can send requests
If you mean how can you get an askbox on your own blog, you have to go into settings, scroll down to the subheading ‘Ask’ and check the box that says ‘let people ask questions’. Hope that helps!
