i'm only happy when it rains

Dan Humphrey. He/him. Nineteen. currently reading: the humans by matt haig

[danhumph]

"A man can make a lifetime off saying goodnight to a moon, but the New Yorker won't think twice about publishing my coming-of-age dystopian short story that might, or might not have been loosely based off Degrassi High. If E.L. James can do it, me too." Dan had no idea Rufus had wandered off at this point of his rant, leaving his son with knitted brows as he caught the eye of the new person standing before him. As always, Dan defended himself. "-- I'm not talking to myself. I'm not some kind of, heh, weirdo-- Oh, whatever, ignore me."

[danhumph]

The Colleen Hoover novel was discarded to the cafe’s table, Dan uttering quietly and puzzled, “I just don’t get it.” The appeal wasn’t meant for his gaze, yet if there was something he’d always do it was to criticize literature not his own.

[danhumph]

archibaldgoldenboy​:

As soon as Nate heard his voice, he knew he was in trouble. Nate had never been a very good liar. In the face of Dan Humphrey’s expectant, piercing, ‘parent in a movie waiting for their kid in a dark room only to turn on a lamp when they come home’ eyes… He barely stood a chance. Nate couldn’t help it- he fell back on the puppy dog eyes. “I missed you too,” the beginnings of a charming smile that quickly faltered. “I’m really sorry, Dan. I didn’t mean to just leave like that, I just— I didn’t mean it.”

.

“You know what I think?” Dan Humphrey did not wait for any moment to insert his opinion, because he was already hurdling into it. “You did mean to do it, because you did it. What I don’t know is why. Don’t tell me this has something to do with Serena.” He couldn’t help the prick of jealousy that came out with the accusation. A blush shot up his neck. He hadn’t yet hit the point of listen first, act later. If he and Gossip Girl had to heckle Nate together, so be it. His eyes remained squinted. “We aren’t in high school anymore, man.”

[danhumph]

archibaldgoldenboy​:

As soon as Nate had heard about this party, he knew that’s where they’d be. It was summer, it was the Hunter’s beach house… Where else would anyone be? It hadn’t quite dawned on Nate yet how exactly he was supposed to explain himself. To explain why he’d left, where he’d been, why he was back. Actually, if he thought about for any decent amount of time, he’d turn right back around again. No one had ever accused Nate of, y’know, thinking though.

“Hey… Have you seen Serena?”

.

“Uh -- have you seen yourself?” Daniel Humphrey had no issue interjecting himself in another conversation when, quite frankly, he was very offended. He sent a look to the stranger, who scurried away and left the men to heckle it out. Dan’s head fell to the side, his lips pursed, “So?” He was in full interrogation mode, with his little squinty eyes. “Do you need a phone charger or something?”

[danhumph]

gigi-sparks​:

Georgina literally could not believe what she was reading. What the hell? What the fuck!? Gossip Girl, in this day and age, and what were they doing? Why was no one freaking out? Did they not all put their social lives on the line to oust that bitch. Well, Georgina was not going to sit around and— Was that Dan Humphrey? Speak of the Gossip Girl Takedown devil and ye shall receive.

With a double door entrance, Gigi made her way over to him with high heeled haste. “Danny Humphrey, hi. What are you doing?” She waited, like, a full few seconds before moving on (see? Growth). “Have you seen this shit with Gossip Girl? What do we do, like, call a council of dorks- I mean, good people or whatever- meeting?”

.

“Georgina. You know, people say Gossip Girl three times in a mirror and you’re always the one to appear. What’s that about?” His arms crossed and he leaned back in the booth’s seat. There was a time when he wouldn’t dare as much waste his time with Georgina Sparks and her never-ending banter. But at certain point, he’d found the audaciousness as endearing as his. Georgina might’ve looked to be an insider, but to him, she’d always reside on the outs as much as he. Even now, she knew as much as Dan. Georgina Sparks was as good as Daniel Humphrey. It caused a smug grin the cross his features as he blinked up. “Got something you’d like to share with the class?”

[danhumph]

vanessa-films​:

Vanessa clocked Dan just as he closed the laptop. Holding back an affectionate (mostly) eye roll, they made their way over in their favourite stompin’ combat boots and fell into the seat across from him. “Someone could literally pour out their heart and soul into their book, I mean really give it their all, and you’d still be like… ‘0 stars, womp womp’. Feel free to patent that as your catchphrase but I want 50:50 on the royalties. Just sayin’.”

After their greeting, Vanessa quirked a brow- “Hey, why the face? … Did Nate finally text you back?”

.

“Uh -- wha --” Because right as Vanessa spoke of the devil, so did the same blonde Karen tables away. “Did Gossip Girl post?” The question might as well have been rhetorical as Dan flipped his laptop open again to open the forbidden webpage he had refreshed many a night. “Seems to be nobody can locate our golden boy, not even the ice queen herself. I give this blog post a big womp womp, too. Until we receive viable information, I believe Gossip Girl is dead. That’s the uh -- That’s the last thing I need now.” A book deal was only as unsoiled as its author. Teenage Dan could worm himself away from the spotlight and consequences because he was young. He didn’t stand as much as a chance now. Money was even more of an issue as it was back then. “And how was your day?”

[danhumph]

“...So, to conclude this episode, only read Matt Haig if you want to get preached at by some man about overcoming depression even though he claims his wife saved him. Not all of us can be so lucky, Matty. We do things for ourselves. I do know that if you’re able to get a book deal, it should be a cake walk for the rest of us. Thanks for the confidence. See you listeners in a couple weeks. Check out the twitter poll for the next book I’ll be reviewing.” With the shut of his laptop, Daniel finished recording his podcast. He’d have to try to muffle out the baristas getting berated by customers in the editing room, where he wished he was now. He wasn’t going to interrupt Rufus’ practice session -- it was just good to see him playing again.

He only looked up from his steaming cup of joe at the mention of Gossip Girl by the same obnoxious customers. It’d been too long since that name had been uttered.

[filthy-reckless-rp]

♛ Spotted on the Upper East Side…

Name: Dan Humphrey Pronouns: He/Him Age: 19 years old Hometown: Upper East Side, NY Occupation: Sophomore at NYU / Podcaster Social Status: Outsider Faceclaim: Jack Quaid

Who Is Dan?

“No, I go to your school. Identical uniforms, isn’t that kind of a tip-off?”

Dan Humphrey. Who knew that I would ever wake up into a world where your name was relevant on the Upper East Side? Your sister is one thing, Jenny had ambitions but you? You were dragged into the spotlight. You were a nobody, a blimp on the radar. You were too busy judging from your high horse to want to be a part of this world. You wore your sarcasm like armor and still do. Of course, I’m sure once you get past your prickly exterior, there’s an interesting and intelligent person underneath. I can be charming when I want to be, Dan but I’m still undecided when it comes to you. Your loyalties lie with a select few and your principles (gross) and morals are still in tact. Tortured artist to tortured artist, I can’t wait to see you in action. XOXO —Gossip Girl

A Little Extra

Dan Humphrey was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth and that would have been fine if he ended up going to a normal school. If he’d been allowed to make normal friends. St Jude’s was anything but a normal school. No, St Jude’s was full to the brim with snobby, ungrateful and downright shameless Upper East Siders. Kids who spent more on their sneakers than Dan would need to go to college ten times over. Kids who either pretended he literally didn’t exist or pushed him in the hallways for not being one of them. It might have made him bitter. Judgemental. Quick to distrust and dislike anyone who was blasted on ‘Gossip Girl’. Dan liked being apart from the crowd- from that crowd- and instead spent his time focusing on the future. On his scholarship to somewhere like NYU where he’d study literature. Where he’d pen his first great novel and finally connect with fellow intellectuals who cared about the world.

Growing up, Dan had it pretty good. Sure, his and Jenny’s mom left to ‘find herself’ but Rufus Humphrey does a stand up job. Dan loves and respects his dad even if he must mock him for still thinking he’s cool. Dan has always taken being a big brother seriously as well. He wants to look out for his little sister, make sure she’s okay and that she can always depend on him. Is he trying to make up for the fact that their mom hasn’t visited in, well, a while? Sure. Does he try too hard? Definitely. He tries not to ‘parent’ her but sometimes he just can’t help himself especially with some of the crap that Jenny’s pulled with her Upper East Side ‘friends’. While Jenny always had a romanticized view of the so-called ‘scandalous elite’, Dan always saw right through their BS. Unless, of course, it was Serena van der Woodsen who in his eyes could do no wrong. Things took a sharp turn for Dan when he ended up entangled in none other than Nate Archibald’s life. Next thing he knows, he’s the one splashed over Gossip Girl. Next thing he knows, people know his name (at least for a minute). He’s still not really used to that one but there’s no turning back now.

What Does Gossip Girl Have On Them?

Dan was roped into the ‘Gossip Girl’ takedown before he could even start to refuse. Sure, his heart stings might have been pulled by how miserable GG had made Nate after his father’s arrest but he still didn’t want to be involved. It wasn’t his idea. But when Jesse Walker asked him to please help them expose GG, he ended up agreeing. Blair Waldorf throwing a birthday party for Dan Humphrey was so O-M-G, W-T-F, that it just had to flush out the real GG who had since been starved of followers sending gossip in thanks to the ‘takedown team’ (or whatever). You know what? A secret? The party wasn’t half bad. Thankfully, GG did end up disappearing but they never did find out who they were. Hopefully GG isn’t going to blame him for being involved with it all…

Connections

Jenny Humphrey - the little sister! Dan’s always been protective over her and still doesn’t really trust her new Upper East Side besties (the hypocrisy, he knows). He would never let anyone hurt her.

Serena van der Woodsen - oh, Serena van der Woodsen… Only the biggest, worst and most withstanding crush of his life.

Vanessa Abrams - childhood bestie. Vanessa had moved away for a while which had, frankly, sucked. He’s so grateful to have them back in his life again.

Nate Archibald - okay, so Nate ‘the golden boy’ Archibald was not someone Dan ever really wanted to know. And then the Fairchild Ball happened and Nate’s dad was arrested in front of everyone. Nate’s dad punched Nate in the face in front of everyone. Then Dan found out that Nate was squatting in his home alone after his mom split and the house was seized. Long story short, Dan brought home Nate Archibald and hasn’t turned his back on him since.

Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass - possibly the worst people that Dan has ever met? Debatable. They are an unfortunate side effect of being friends with Nate.