Already Gone

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down through the air and there’s a sickly moment of dark surprise."

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Sway With Me;

Daniel would wait until the last second to show up to his own funeral if he could. And maybe that’s why his tie still remained untied around his neck over a plain black t-shirt that he definitely wasn’t planning on wearing that night. Though in reality he was just putting off the inevitability of attending yet another dance in the school’s gym when he had refused to even walk in that direction for the past year, always missing assemblies for the same reason. But he had made a promise to Sapphire that he would forget it all for that night, that they’d get ready together despite Daniel’s protests. He rolled his eyes at the thought, slipping off his bed to get the rest of his suit and fold it over his arm before leaving Grant to his own devices in favor of finding the girl’s dorm. His fingers rapped against the door before he came to a full stop in front of it. “Sapph, don’t leave a guy hanging, open up.”

[austinrickards]

a monkey's uncle ; daniel

[austinrickards]

With each breath he took, Austin exhaled smoke that for once didn’t come from him sucking in the toxins of a lit cigarette. It burned his throat like one, a cool air that made his lungs work harder to pump oxygen through his body, but even as he waited for Daniel to drag his feet to the door to let him in he refused to be bothered by it. To the surprise of many, he loved the snow, was often happier on the winter days where the flakes fluttered to the ground and so as he waited he stepped back from the door and into the path of it as it continued to fall from the sky. He had his head tilted back and his eyes shut tight so that the white fluffy mess fell directly atop his face when he finally heard Daniel’s voice over the line. A grin broke out onto his face, but the lighthearted feeling that now overtook him to make his tone change from the pleading one he had adopted earlier. “I’ll get on my news for you.” As an after thought, he quickly added, “Take that however you want, babe.” He almost broke character then, let out a laugh that would echo in the air around him, but he bit back on the urge and let out a sigh of his own to cover it up with. “Although I would love to stay perfectly preserved at this age so that they can build statues of me later and remember me as the God I am, I’d much rather you forgive me so we can move on from this. I love you. You have to know that.” As he spoke, he extended his free arm out to the side and began to spin around. If it’d be a while before he’d be allowed indoors, then he’d make the most of it. He’d walk into Daniel’s house trailing water behind him, of course, but that was Daniel’s fault. He was to blame for this. Not Austin. Never mind the fact he could have waited under the protection of the roof. “Oh, I can think of a few ways, but I’d rather leave that up to the imagination for now, sugah.” There was a hint of laughter in his tone then, one he couldn’t hide even as he attempted to sound pitiful and sorry.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

It confused Daniel to no end how he had become so dependent on the other male on the line and yet he had let his guard down the moment he had met him. Of course Daniel had been different then. Less defensive, more open to letting people into his life. But much had changed since then. The person that had made him believe in all the things that he was now sure never really existed was long gone. But the other male was the one constant in his life. Fights that should have drawn them apart only served to bring them closer in the end, no matter how stubborn the two of them were. He nearly choked trying to hold back the laughter that Austin’s words set off, but he caught himself in the end only letting out a cough. “I’m sure that would please you more than anything, dear. But alas, I am no one’s mistress,” Daniel sighed dramatically only slightly disappointed that Austin couldn’t see the pained face he was currently feigning. It was no wonder there were constant rumors of the two being involved together. But those three little words made Daniel bite his lip, dropping the character he had stepped into in favor of a small smile crossing his face. And even though Austin still managed to hold his own, Daniel knew Austin really meant what he said. “Yeah, I know that.” And Daniel might have not said it back, but it’s what he meant in those equally small words as his hand grasped the doorknob, finally letting the cold air mingle with the heat inside. Twirling? Was Austin really twirling in the snow? Daniel bit back his laughter, choosing to watch him for a moment before he was sure Austin would notice him and stop. He held the phone to his ear until the echo of Austin’s next words reached him before dropping it to his side and hitting end. “Imagination, right. I suppose I’ll let that slide for now,” Daniel crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the doorframe. “Now I know I call you snowflake, but does that really mean you have to try to turn into one?”

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Friend, Please || Daniel x Sam

Summer was coming to a close all too fast for Daniel. Not that he had plans of going on to college, but it meant that more would be expected from him in the company and it meant that all of his friends would be returning to school. Including the male who had left him a year ago for the other side of the country and it had been far too long since he had seen him. Daniel hadn’t bothered calling Austin before he got on the plane, deciding it’d be more fun to surprise him like the male had done to him in the Winter, but that also meant Daniel wasn’t entirely sure if he was home or not. He let his knuckles fall against the door after a moment of hesitation, a bright smile spreading his lips. “Come on, snowflake, open up.”

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

I've Seen Better Days || Daniel x Sapphire

[sapphireanastasia]

Watching as Daniel sat on the bed, Sapphire slowly relaxed, dropping her arms to her sides. Drawing in her bottom lip, she came to the realization that staying mad at Daniel was proving to be a very difficult task she wasn’t sure she would follow through on. With a sharp huff at her inner thoughts, she spun on her heel and made her way towards the kitchen. She grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and a dish rag, making her way towards Daniel again until his words caused her to stop in her tracks. 

An overwhelming urge to call Chris washed over the brunette, her features twisting into worry. The kit grew heavy in her hands and her mouth unhinged slightly. Sapphire stayed quiet for a long time - or what seemed like it anyway - the gears in her mind working far too quickly yet far too slowly at the same time. With one deep breath, Sapphire pushed herself to continue walking and before long, she was sitting next to Daniel on the bed. “Don’t worry about him,” she finally spoke, busying both her hands and her eyes with wrapping the ice pack for as long as she could without making it obvious. “With the amount of stupid things that leave his mouth, he can take a hit.” 

There was another pause of silence as she placed the ice underneath his eye. It wasn’t until then that she looked him in the eye since he walked through the door. She offered a small smile, careful not to hurt him any further. “Did he hit you back?” she asked, her voice quieter than she had originally planned, eyes glancing towards the ice pack she was holding. On an unrelated note she muttered, “hold that, will you?” 

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Green eyes followed the female as she moved around the room. He welcomed the small noises that came from her gathering things, welcomed them more than the silence that seemed to keep falling upon them because he was too scared to speak up and her? Well she kept surprising him so he wasn’t too sure. Maybe she was too concerned to speak, or maybe she was hiding the anger that really was making her blood boil under the surface and she would explode in due time. When she stopped, so did Daniel’s thoughts. Even his breathing seemed to still, waiting for her next move or the next words to tumble off her lips. How Daniel felt like a helpless puppy in that moment. Maybe Courtney had been right to nickname him that.

As the seconds rolled on and the silence stiffened, Daniel felt his mouth going dry and he rubbed at the back of his neck to try to gain some composure. “Please, say something,” His voice was raspier than he remembered it being, seemed so weak compared to that that he usually wore. His eyes fell to the ground for a long time, not realizing when Sapphire had started moving yet again until her presence caused him to look back up and search for her eyes, but they refused to meet his and he didn’t blame her. When she finally spoke again, a small laugh threatened to escape his lips, but he forced it down, not wanting to do the wrong thing to set her off. “Yeah, I guess so. M’sorry though. I know he’s your friend.” Truth is, Daniel thought the other boy as a friend before all this too. Sure he said dumb things, but who didn’t? Now, he wasn’t sure of anything.

Daniel flinched, the cold surprising him more than the pain that came from the bruise surfacing under his eye. He tried to shake his head before realizing it would make her hand slip from its position. “No, he didn’t. Administration was there before he could.” He smiled back at her, though realization that she would ask who had done this to him then caused it to fall as quickly as it had come. “Um…Joshua did this…” He let his voice trail off, taking the icepack from her and pressing it harder against his eye. Daniel’s eyes shut tight at the pain that it caused, but he didn’t let up. He had wanted this. Wanted to feel something other than the pressure to follow his father’s footsteps when he wanted to turn and run in the other direction. 

[austinrickards]

a monkey's uncle ; daniel

Austin hated to travel by plane. It was messy, cramped, and he almost always got stuck next to the screaming child and the air sick passengers no matter which class he chose to sit in. But he had to, this time. Driving had been out as soon as Eric had called him to tell him that Lauren had had her baby late the night before. He promised to be on a flight back to Rose Valley the next day. He kept it a secret which one he was going on. Although he wanted to see his newborn nephew and the rest of his family, he had one stop to make before heading to the hospital. Daniel’s house. He drove a rental car out to his home, driving slower than he’d care to thanks to the snow that decorated the roads on his way, and parked out front as soon as he arrived. Climbing out of the driver’s seat, he pulled the small leather jacket he had on tighter around his body and jogged up to the door, but instead of ringing the bell to alert who was inside that he was there he reached into his pocket to dig out his phone and pressed the speed-dial number for Daniel’s phone. When he heard the other line pick up, a huge grin broke out onto his face. “Hey, babe,” He threw on a mock pleading tone, “Come let me in. M’sorry about last night, alright? I won’t ever kiss anyone else but you again, but you can’t let me freeze my tush off out here. Please? I promise to make it up to you. You can’t see it right now, but I’m totally batting my lashes at you.” Those tired eyes never budged an inch save to blink away the dryness, but he figured it didn’t matter since Daniel couldn’t see them anyhow.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Daniel never wanted to see another number again, that much he was sure of. Papers filled with them littered the desk in front of him with a matrix of numbers and though he knew there were more, they all seemed to blend into zeros and ones. Four more months until he was supposed to take over his father’s Rose Valley business and he couldn’t even tell the bills from the numbers that would tell them if they were in debt or making a profit. He wouldn’t admit it, but he almost prayed for a distraction. Between all of this and the piles of homework that covered his bed in a layer of black and white, Daniel was ready to throw in the towel. He never really expected to make it to senior year anyways, so what was dropping out a little bit early? Daniel should have expected what came next. I’m Too Sexy played over the only distraction he left on the desk and maybe too eagerly the phone was pressed to his ear and a smile took over any previous frown that may have been decorating his face. Austin, the name almost tumbled off his lips before the other boy’s voice rang in his ear and he nearly broke character with a laugh that would have cracked through the silence of his house so strongly he was sure he would have scared anyone that may have been lurking. “I don’t know, Austin. How am I supposed to believe you want do it again?” A dramatic sigh, followed by a slight pause. “Maybe freezing is a good way for you to go. It’ll preserve you longer. M’sure you’ll like that.” But despite his words, Daniel pushed away from the desk forcibly, welcoming the screech that followed the chair before slowly making his way to the front door. “And how do you expect to make it up to me? You know I can’t be expected to be pleased with a few flutters of those long eyelashes and nothing else.” Daniel waited before the door for a second longer, Austin could survive a little bit of real cold instead of the wimpy weather that made California.

[austin-rickards]

I'm on the ropes this time || Austin x Daniel

The wind was no longer cold. May kept the air warm, but that didn’t mean the cemetery looked any less horrible. It made him clutch the light hoodie closer to his chest. It made him want to turn tail and head back to his car for fear of what he might find at the grave of a woman he considered a second mom for most of his life. Daniel waited for him there. A three am voicemail told him that much, it told him even more if he cared to think about it. He refused. Thinking about it led to him jumping to conclusions and he couldn’t do that. And yet, the phrase continued to repeat itself over and over in his mind until it bled through the thoughts he used to combat it. It all sounded the same to him by the time he got there.

“I-I need you, Austin… I’m with her.”

The memory of the crack in his best friends and the words set him on edge. He got dressed as quickly as he could but his movements seemed sluggish as his brain moved a mile a minute. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who the her was that had been mentioned. The name Easter hadn’t even crossed his mind. Maybe the two had been spending an awful lot of time together recently, but Austin wasn’t dumb. The date glared up at him from the clock on his desk. He should’ve expected it. Mother’s day was the day before and now Daniel’s mom’s birthday. It was obvious, so fucking obvious and he should’ve been there for Daniel. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t talked in a month. He should’ve been there. And yet he let some argument keep him from Daniel.

An empty cemetery wasn’t his ideal place and yet he let his feet carry him to where he knew the grave was. He had visited it not too long ago, on Daniel’s birthday, to lay some flowers down upon the bottom of the headstone. But everything looked different at night. Darker, spookier. And for someone that was spoken of as the intimidating bad boy, Austin found a tremor in his hand that strengthened with each step he took. No more was he the strong willed boy. When it came to Daniel, he always felt like the floor would come out from under him at any moment. Lost. Any harm that came Daniel’s way felt like a stab to his own body. He didn’t care if that meant they were too close, co-dependent even. He wanted his best friend safe and he was beyond afraid that he wouldn’t find the boy like that that night. That might’ve been due to the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure what state he’d find Daniel in. Drunk? Sober? Worse? The only clue was a stutter in his voice and a hitch in his breath. He found him not too long after. He was resting on the ground, slouched over against a headstone.

Austin hurried over to the figure as soon as he was in his sight line. He dropped down to his knees, hands immediately moving to the boys shoulders. “Daniel?” the name fell from his lips in a panic. He hadn’t even realized he had used his full name until it was out of his mouth and breaking the silence of the night. The thought to keep himself from panicking entered his mind for the briefest of moments. His mind had a problem with it. It offered him up an image of the last time he found someone whose skin felt like ice on a warm summer night. And what that had led to. But that was jumping to conclusions. Daniel wasn’t Abigail. He wasn’t that stupid. He didn’t do drugs. And Austin had only tried once to wake the boy up long enough to say something to him.

“Daniel,” he hissed, demanded with a shake of his hands for the boy to wake the fuck up. With each second that passed, he could feel his heart begin to pound harder in his chest. He hadn’t been that long, had he? Thirty minutes after the phone call, maybe. It wasn’t enough time for the boy to fall into a deep slumber. He swallowed down on the bundle of nerves caught in his throat and tried once more. “Come on, Daniel. Get up.” He shouted louder this time. No longer mindful of any passing cemetery watchmen, at least he might get some help if they came upon the two of them. He already felt he needed it. Austin felt like he had been pushed into the deep end once more and this time he had no clue how he’d manage to fight his way back to the surface. Daniel was his rock. If anything happened to the boy, he’d lose more than just a best friend. The only word that seemed to fit the loss was everything.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

His pillow was making his headache worse and he wanted nothing more than for it to be gone, thrown across the room that seemed far too breezy – had he left a window open? – but the pillow that was rougher than he remembered wouldn’t budge. Daniel was tired. Exhausted. His eyes refused to open even when he wished to investigate the pillow issue, but he needed them to open. He needed to close that window before he froze. And why was he so wet? “Not funny, Grant,” A voice whispered and though he felt the vibrations in his throat, he knew it couldn’t have been him that said it. The voice sounded so…hoarse. It wasn’t the strong voice Daniel had inherited from his father. So who was speaking to his roommate? Who was there? His eyes fluttered open only momentarily, enough for him to realize that his pillow was a stone with his mother’s name engraved. And it hit him that he didn’t want his eyes open. He didn’t want to remember where he was or how he had got here or what he had done earlier that night.

But the memories didn’t seem to listen to him. They came back in flashes. First were the lights that caused his head to pound with every beat that was added, but then a girl was in his arms and it seemed to all subside. But even now he couldn’t remember her name. All he remembered was seeing her hunched over the bar when the ‘tender wasn’t looking. And then he took her position. God, what had he done? Just as quickly they all disappeared and he was left in the dark again, shivering even though the air was warm. He was brought back to now, the hard stone under his head only worsening his headache with every second he let pass. Daniel didn’t dare move. He knew where he was now, for the moment and he only wanted to stay by his mother’s side. And Austin. The name ringed in his ears in the same voice he had heard speaking to Grant, asking for him. No, begging for him. He realized then that it couldn’t have come from anyone but himself.

He needed Austin. He always seemed to need Austin. The older male was the only one left. And he had ruined it. Daniel didn’t expect him to come. He wasn’t sure he’d come if the tables were turned and it was Austin’s voice on the line begging for him so early in the morning. Not after what Daniel had done. But that was the difference. Daniel never believed in relationships. He had wanted to, God, did he want to. To believe that there was actually something good in this world that he might someday look forward to, but no, it wasn’t possible. Nothing lasted. All love was was something to sell Hallmark cards around a holiday made simply to improve the economy. And maybe that’s why he did it. He wanted to make Austin see it for what it was and not what everyone played it up to be. He was selfish, so selfish. He realized that now, grasping onto the gravestone as if it was his lifeline. How ironic. Austin would forgive him though. He had to. They were brothers. Brothers do stupid things, but they’re always forgiven. Right? Daniel had to believe the words his mind made up, not wanting to think that he might have lost Austin forever over something so stupid. He’d make it up to him if he let him. But he felt so weak and he could feel himself slipping again.

Shouting. Someone was shouting his name. It felt so distant and yet so close that just the voice was causing his world to shake. And goddamn, the headache was so strong and he just wanted the noise to stop, to scream back for the voice to shut up, that he was right here. Any time he tried, he realized his mouth was too dry for the words to even slip into the night air. The voice was getting louder, more urgent, more desperate. It became clearer the louder it got, but it still felt so distant and his fucking eyes wouldn’t open to let him see who was calling for him. And he didn’t care. He didn’t want anyone that wasn’t Austin. Austin’s voice was too recognizable for it to be him. Daniel wouldn’t have a doubt.

Daniel’s head shook, words that were nothing more than mumbles escaping his throat. His eyes only barely opened to reveal a sliver of pale green. He was sure it was his mind playing tricks on him when a blur started to become his best friend. He needed it to be him. He wanted nothing more than for those weights on his shoulders to be the slightly calloused hands of the older male. “Austin…I need you…please, forgive me. Please.” His right hand reached out for the figure, fingers tangling into the fabric of the jacket hugging the other’s body in attempt to bring him closer. Austin. There was no doubt with the way the hoodie was a bit too small on him, one of his own, Daniel was sure.

[austin-rickards]

Wake me up when it's all over || Daniel x Austin

[austin-rickards]

The nurse left and almost immediately he felt exhaustion set back into his bones. He had to open his eyes, force them from closing for longer than a second or two. He knew he’d drift off without fail if he allowed that to happen. Nothing was happening in the room save for the rhythmic beeps of a monitor close by that would keep him from falling asleep once more. His mind supplied him with the knowledge of what the beeping was – his own heart, pounding in his chest and being played aloud for anyone in the room to hear. If his heart failed or began to race, there would be something sent to that machine that would alert the nurse at the station. All of that he knew due to the fact that he had always wanted to be a doctor one day, a surgeon to be exact, and so if he bothered to look around he could name what each machine was for. He couldn’t be bothered in that moment. One movement of his head was more than he could manage right then. He’d save that for when he was bored out of his mind and still unable to sleep.

Now, he had to stay awake. He repeated that command over and over again in his mind even as his eyes slipped shut once more. Stay awake. Austin fisted his right hand into the bed sheet, near his thigh. The amount of effort it took worried his mind, but so did everything. He had no recollection of why he was resting in a hospital bed or why there were people outside waiting for him to wake up at all. His mind was fuzzy, blank. He blamed it on the fact that he must have come down from the anesthesia during the surgery – there had to have been one if he was in ICU, not that he even knew that one for sure, but the room seemed too advanced to be just a normal patients one – but that would require that the surgery happened within the last day. Otherwise, the grogginess was just because he couldn’t remember anything and he hated that thought more than he cared to admit.

But before he can even dream to dwell on that thought a voice pierced the mostly silent air around him. He wished to laugh at the words, but the effort to just breathe was bad enough so he doesn’t bother. His focus instead shifted to getting his eyes open to take in the figure that loomed in the doorway. He already knew who it was. He could tell who that voice belonged to even if it had been years since he last heard it. Daniel. Half of him had expected his first visitor to be Easter if it wasn’t his parents – which wasn’t to say he doubted Daniel would want to. Austin knew he would have, but he also knew Daniel couldn’t stand the thought of being in a hospital for longer than he had to. One look at the boy and he can see all the tension in him. He forced himself to take in a deep breath and to tilt his head back further until he was staring at the ceiling instead of at his best friend. “That’s what they call me.” His voice is meek even to his own years, but he hoped that the joke would at least ease the tension and get Daniel to come closer to him.

No sound of footsteps entered his ears even after he waited a while. He forced his eyes back open and rolled his head to the side and down until he could see Daniel once more. “Daniel,” with a wince he lifted his left hand off the bed, using it to beckon the younger boy closer to him, “C’mon. I’m sorry. I can’t come to you so you’ve gotta – you’ve gotta come to me. Please, Danny boy.” Everything about the way he spoke seemed to be weaker than normal. No longer was he the strong, intimidating person that everyone thought him to be. He was resting in a hospital bed, apologizing for the fact that he couldn’t get up, and saying shit like please in order to get his way.

A bitter laugh almost erupted from his throat at the thought, but he swallowed it down. Effort; there was so much effort in doing even the smallest things. His voice sounded like he had been taking sleeping pills or had had too much to drink, but that was the easiest thing for him to do. Talk. It dried out his throat a little too much and hurt a bit from when the tube was down his throat, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his side. It was nothing compared to moving and the sad fact of the day was that he hadn’t even done much of that to see the full extent of his injuries. He should. And that thought coupled with his stubborn nature sprung him into action without really thinking it through all that much.

Austin pushed the palms of his hand into the bed and tried to sit up. One tug on his side caused him to stop. No; he couldn’t do that. He tried for something else instead. The boy shifted in his bed, trying his hardest to not jostle his own body too much as he moved to the other side of the bed. Once there he brought his right hand up and pressed it against his forehead, trying to slow his breathing down until it was back to normal. The movement made his heart rate spike on the monitor for a while and he needed that to calm as well. But instead of focusing on the high pitched noise, he used his left hand to pat the bed beside him. “Can you just – lay here for a while with me, please?” he asked, voice cracking a small bit as he spoke. He might’ve thought it would have been Easter that would have visited him first but now that it was Daniel he couldn’t be more thankful. All he wanted was his best friend – the same boy whose bed he snuck into when he was younger to get away from his father for a night, the same boy that followed him around when he was younger. Daniel. He only wanted him in that moment, now he just had to convince Daniel to stick around instead of turning tail and running after he realized Austin was alive.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Just the sound of the boy’s voice or the very sight of his eyes opening should have been enough for Daniel. It should have drove him to move his feet that felt like cinder blocks and be at his best friend’s side as quickly as he had stood from the frozen floor. But the voice was so tired, groggy…weak, he almost didn’t recognize it. It brought such a pain with it that Daniel was nearly forced off his feet once more. To think that someone had purposefully done this to Austin, had wanted to harm the boy that had so easily become his best friend years ago; he couldn’t bear to think about it. Why? was the only thought driving through his mind. He knew Austin could be an ass – he had been on the receiving end of his twist of words that would send anyone quivering in the corner – but that didn’t justify it. Because Easter? She was nice to everyone which just further made him ask why?

Daniel still couldn’t move. Those words that trembled out of Austin’s lips just served as a barrier to keep him away even if the subtle hint at a joke almost raised a chuckle from somewhere deep inside him, somewhere that he had suppressed for the past two days in wonder if Austin would ever wake up. It wouldn’t be that easy to bring it back, though he wanted to. Daniel wanted to laugh, to see his best friend duck his head in an attempt to hide his own laugh, for everything to go back to normal even if that meant they were in another of those pointless fights. At least it would mean that everyone was okay and Austin would know it was. He wouldn’t have to see Daniel fighting for words, sleep depravity evident in his features, with every piece of him feeling weak despite how strong he looked in comparison to the one lying in a hospital bed across the room. Two days. Two days and Daniel felt like his world was crumbling around him once more. He couldn’t lose Austin now, he was the only one he had left. And what he would have given to trade places.

The steady noise of the monitor’s beeping keeping the room from being in silence and keeping the focus of Daniel was interrupted when Austin spoke again. And this time a chuckle does pass Daniel’s lips and he only hopes that it doesn’t sound as forced as it feels – like it had been centuries since he last let the air leave his lips in that way. “God, what have they done to you? Have you resorted to begging already m’lady?” His voice was so weak compared to the words that fell from his tongue and how he hated it so. His own voice sounded so distant to him as if he was on the outside, watching all of this happen and maybe he was. Maybe this was all some sick dream to give him false hope and he was really still in the hallway, clutching onto his knees with sand crusting his eyes. But that? If this was all really a dream? He was almost positive it would kill him.

“Did the nurse say if you were allowed any water? You sound like your dying, man.” The joke didn’t reach his eyes. Water swelled in those green eyes and, God, he felt like such a child. He felt so weak with unshed tears clouding his eyes until Austin was nothing but a blur across the room from where Daniel still remained frozen to the ground. And that was worse. His balled fist rubbed at his eyes until they hurt, forcing his eyes clear so he knew this couldn’t be a dream. But he almost wish he hadn’t. Austin tried to move and Daniel could see the strain in his face and the pain it caused him. “Don’t,” Daniel all but begged, moving closer to the bed with the threat that he’d stop him if he tried again. The spike in the monitor from such little movement made him flinch once more. Though in a few moments he’d realize it was better than the alternative – the same scenario he had pictured in his head a thousand different times over those two days. “Just don’t move…please.” He realized the irony laced in that one word, but it didn’t stop him from uttering it. He needed Austin to listen to him.

In other circumstances, Daniel would have laughed at how pitiful his best friend looked in comparison to the tough exterior he usually held. Everything he did made him look so small and Daniel just wanted to pull the wires and get Austin out of this dreadful place that seemed to breed death. But he knew that wasn’t a possibility and however much he wanted to be free from the suffocating walls of the hospital, he wouldn’t leave Austin’s side. He offered the male a half smile, nodding slightly before carefully crawling onto the bed beside Austin. He was tentative, afraid that any wrong movement and he’d cause pain to shoot through the others side. But that didn’t stop Daniel from raising onto his elbow to lean down and press a tender kiss to Austin’s lips like they had so many times as children. In that moment, Daniel didn’t care what the other boy thought, he just needed the reassurance that his best friend was really alive. “You scared me, you know that? Don’t you fucking dare do that to me again.” Daniel could sense the shake in his voice, the whispered words against Austin’s lips falling from his own before the strength to hold himself up was too much and he laid back onto his side. “Fuck you for always being so goddamn dramatic.”

Daniel tried hard not to let the want to cry overtake him. From what? He wasn’t sure anymore. Maybe from the memories this place held, or the memories of the night of Valentine’s Day, or just the simple fact that for once this place didn’t take his family away from him. His hand reached out to find Austin’s, locking their fingers together to reassure himself more than Austin that everything would be alright. The worst was over now, right? “Don’t ever leave me.” He whispered, knowing how needy, how selfish, how fucking stupid he sounded, but not caring this time for no one was around to hear it besides the one person he didn’t care to.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

I've Seen Better Days || Daniel x Sapphire

[sapphireanastasia]

Sapphire knew Daniel was back. The question was whether or not she knew if she was happy with him currently. On one hand, she knew she didn’t have too big of a reason to be mad at Daniel, seeing her relationship with Easter had been seemingly nonexistent before the affair happened. All the same, she knew Easter was still her friend regardless and the whole ordeal hurt her; therefore, she should be boiling with rage…shouldn’t she? On the other hand, Sapphire also knew by watching and a few questioning experiences she’s had with Daniel in the short span the two of them had been friends, that no part of him wanted to be tied down - especially to someone as dependent as Easter. The two situations ran around her head until it became so filled with dust she couldn’t make sense of her own thoughts anymore. Long story short, the brunette was avoiding both the debate and her friend. 

The knock at her door drew a sharp sigh out of Sapphire’s lips, her hand grabbing the remote and pressing pause. Hopping up from her bed, she glanced in the mirror for a moment, fluffing her hair in an attempt to look presentable before she opened the door. The moment Daniel came into her line of vision, Sapphire froze, a mixture of emotions hitting her like a freight train. God, was it great to hear his stupid voice again. 

Questions danced on the tip of her tongue, her mind prodding her to open her mouth and ask them. 'What are you doing here?' 'What do you want?' 'When did you get back?' 'Need directions to the nearest trashcan, Smith-Christopher?' They all swam through the clouds in her head. But the moment Sapphire noticed the bruises coloring his face, one question replaced the hundred. 'What happened?' For some unknown reason, she decided to let the question weigh her tongue down for a little longer. Instead of asking, she merely let out a sigh and stepped aside, giving him room to walk in. “Sit,” she commanded, gesturing towards her nonexistent roommate’s bed. “Now.” 

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Daniel wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Sapphire was never really one to yell at someone, and yet he had maybe expected it to happen this once. He wouldn’t blame her. He had given her many reasons to yell. First, leaving without notice to go to another country. Of course he hadn’t wanted anyone to really know he was going, only telling a few people that prodded. Second, the whole “Easter thing” he wished he could put out of his head. Which only led to the third reason: the fighting. Daniel had never been one to fight. Sure he went boxing with Austin, but that never really counted to him. But it had felt exhilarating, even if he had been the one to get punched by Joshua, not bothering to hit back though he could have. He could have easily avoided the entire thing, but the thing was, he didn’t want to.

Daniel stepped inside as he was instructed, slumping down onto the unoccupied bed. How he hated how she could control him so, but he didn’t feel like trying to fight it. He knows he should explain, or at least say something, but everything that came to his mind wouldn’t suffice. Instead he sucks on his split lip, thinking of the right thing to say. “I missed you.” Stupid. He knows. But it takes everything for him to say those three words to someone that isn’t Austin even if he means them. He missed her snarky comments and the way she always pushed him away when he tried to flirt with her. He missed the way she’d fall into his side, expecting him to keep her up when she was too tired to stand because she had stayed up too late finishing a painting. A painter. His father would scoff at him for being friends with her, but this once, he didn’t care what his father might think.

“I punched Chris,” Daniel blurted out, worrying his lip more to the point he tasted blood on his tongue. He knew the question would come eventually rather he liked it or not. He also knew what the follow up question would be, but he didn’t feel like answering that one without being prompted. Daniel looks up from his bruised knuckles, searching Sapphire’s eyes for any indication that she was mad. For some reason he valued her opinion more than most.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

I've Seen Better Days || Daniel x Sapphire

His fingers pinched his nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He was aware he had been lucky, lucky in the sense that he hadn’t gotten a broken nose out of all of this and perhaps lucky that the administrators had pulled Joshua away before he really took a toll on him, though he had asked for it. Daniel wouldn’t deny that he had urged Joshua along until he punched him, had almost hoped he would, but he’d never say why. In truth, he wasn’t sure. He knew Joshua would get in far more trouble than Daniel, so maybe that was why. Or maybe it was that then maybe just maybe Easter would see Joshua for what he really was, but even that didn’t truly sway him because she would forgive him for anything, Daniel was sure. But the real reason? He could’ve bet it had something to do with the fact that this could be his way out. One wrong choice in word and he could be expelled, one wrong move and he could be free from the grasps of his father and the business, it could be his way out of it all.

And if it wasn’t for a promise to his best friend and a girl he had become far too close to over the past few months, he might have done just that. But instead he sat outside the office waiting for the slip of paper that told him he was suspended and not to return to campus until a week after school had returned. He forced his thoughts away from all of it while he waited and to the brunette with a gem for a name. Sapphire would be mad at him even if she didn’t show it. If she had caught wind of what he had done to Easter, she’d be even more so and he was sure she had. Or if she had heard that he had punched Christopher not even a few hours before Joshua had his turn. Daniel tried to let a sigh escape his lips, but even that little of movement caused pain through his face, the only relief coming to him when the woman behind the desk hands him the sheet and tells him to get whatever he needs from his dorm before leaving the campus and that if he returned before his time was up he risked expulsion.

But Daniel doesn’t listen. His mind was set on doing what he was told, but his feet turned at the last second and before long he found himself in front of an all too familiar dorm. “Fuck,” He whispers, almost wanting to turn around and forget he had ever come, though his knuckles are already rapping on the door before his legs have the chance to make him leave. ‘Tell her it was an accident. Don’t bring up Easter. Don’t make her mad.’ His thoughts circled throughout his head as he waited for her to open the door, but when she finally did he blurted out before she could say anything. “I could really use without the sarcastic comments right now.”

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: Bossy.

Daniel: If you'd like it the other way around, then by all means.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: Dunno. I'm just not really feeling it coming from you.

Daniel: Alright then. Go to wherever you want, buy some nice lingerie and tell them to charge it to me. I wouldn't want to ruin your good lingerie.

Daniel: Now hurry up and get your ass over here.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: I can't really contradict that.

Esther: Be creative, surprise me.

Esther: You don't seem all that excited about it.

Daniel: Gotcha.

Daniel: Alright, I'll think of something.

Daniel: Yeah? Who said?

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: Dick.

Esther: Not really, I'm just making sure.

Esther: You want me to pull out my good lingerie /just/ for a lap dance?

Daniel: A skillful one ;)

Daniel: What do you want exactly?

Daniel: Well if you want more, all you got to do is ask.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: Oh, shut up.

Esther: Yay!! And expensive shit, please. You have money you can waste on good booze.

Esther: Hmmm, sure. Clothes or no clothes? I'm feeling so nice today you even get to pick :)

Daniel: Just stating an observance is all.

Daniel: Would you expect me to get anything less?

Daniel: For you? Lingerie.

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: I've literally just complimented your skills with your dick and you call me an idiot. I'm so done with you, Daniel.

Esther: I will take alcohol as a peace offering, how about that?

Daniel: And yet you can't stay away ;)

Daniel: That can be arranged.

Daniel: Wait while we're negotiating can I get a lap dance as mine?

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: No, fuck, sorry.

Esther: I got yelled at too by pretty much everyone and I know it's not a good feeling. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be a bitch to you.

Esther: I'm sorry.

Esther: For what it's worth, you're a great fuck.

Daniel: You're an idiot.

Daniel: You coming over then or not?

[daniel-smithchristopher-blog]

Texts | Pumpkin

Esther: Was I supposed to pretend nothing had happened? And just smile at Easter and act like I didn't fuck her boyfriend to break it out to her when you got back? I'm sorry for not telling you I was doing it, but I'm not sorry for telling her, I'm really not.

Esther: Whatever.

Esther: Fuck off with the condescending talk.

Daniel: You could have just ran away with boy toy sooner then the whole mess could have been avoided. I really don't care, Esther. You got me out of something I shouldn't have began in the first place so whatever, thanks for that.

Daniel: Now who's yelling at who? I don't need the speeches from you too, so if that's what you're going to do then I guess we can just go back to the silence.

Daniel: Goodnight, Esther.