So..itās been awhile lol. While I love tumblr and writing, Iāve been super busy between school and work. With everything going on in my life, it has been borderline impossible to find time to sleep, let alone sign on here and respond to requests. But now that Iāve gotten the hang of things, Iād intend on taking some time on the weekends writing! Thanks to those who have sent me requests (Iām sorry theyāve been sitting in my messages for so long). Hopefully theyāll be up soon! :)
I donāt have much of an opinion on catrific, as I donāt watch her videos. Although Iām not a fan of catrific the channel, I canāt say anything about Cat as a person or express any sort of an opinion due to my lack of knowledge on her. As for Phan; I am a fan of both Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil and I appreciate the content they share, but I donāt know if Iād consider myself a part of theĀ āphandomā. If they were, however, to announce that they were together, I would have nothing but love and respect for the both of them and continue to support them whilst continuing to enjoy them as individuals at the same time.Ā
No matter how much Dan loved you, and boy did he love you, there was no denying that you would always be the second most important woman in his life after his mom. The relationship he shared with her was admirable; just seeing his face light up when he talked to her on the phone expanded to you and warmed your heart. But last night, he had received a phone call from his dad that would go down as the worst phone call in history. At 1:32 a.m., his mother had passed away from a heart attack. He couldnāt even bring himself to continue talking to the man on the other line; he dropped the phone beside him as his ghost-like body slouched at the foot of the mattress. After picking up the phone and wishing Mr. Howell your condolences, you warily crawled behind Dan and placed a hand on his shoulder. His dull eyes were glued to the wall in front of him, his lips in a tight line.Ā āIām so sorry, baby,ā you whispered and thatās when he lost it. He twisted his body around and clung onto you as if his life depended on it while thick teardrops rushed down his cheeks. You held him all night until the sun came up, squeezing extra tight every time he let out a fresh set of sobs.
I donāt know if anyone else saw this in the background of Dan and Philās recent video, but apparently they adopted an emperor tamarin through the World Wildlife Fund and as an animal rights activist, this brings me so much joy.Ā
And for those of you who are curious, this is what an emperor tamarin is:
I love the danfic you posted!Are you going to update soon?
Thanks! I really appreciate that. Iāll try to post again soon. Thereās just a lot going on in my life right now but when I find the time, Iād really love to get these requests posted! :)
āJesus, y/n, I just donāt see why youāre making such a big deal out of something so irrelevant,ā Dan said as he followed my track through our front door. I sighed for what had to be the billionth time tonight as I made my way over to the island in the center of the kitchen and placed my hand on it for support. I freed my feet from the killer black heels that I made the terrible mistake of wearing to the club, rubbing each ankle.
Fed up with Dan and his sorry attempts at making light of a serious situation, I decided to stop with the silent treatment that Iāve proudly stuck to since we left the club and let out my frustration.
I whipped my head up, meeting his eyes for the first time in the past hour. āDonāt you dare try to turn this around on me! I go to the bathroom for five minutes only to come back and find you sitting back nonchalantly at our table as your ex, who coincidentally shows up out of nowhere, practically dry humps you! And now you have the nerve to say Iām āover reactingā!ā
I must look like a psychopath at this point, my eyes were practically bulging out of my head, but I donāt care. The more I relive that moment in my head, the more frustrated I get. I know h/ex/n has a record of fooling around with taken guys, Iām sure exes are included, but itās just as much Danās fault as it is hers in my book. Ā I donāt care if she threw herself at him, he could have easily told her to back off. But what does he do? Absolutely nothing! Ā
After kicking my heels to the side, I take a seat at the table. I hadnāt even noticed how tired all this fighting has made me.
āSo what! She sat on my lap, big fucking deal! Itās not like I was making out with her or anything! Clearly you need to look up the definition of cheating, because I think youāre a tad bit confused!ā He paced around the room, something he tends to do when heās angry. He came to a stop right in front of me and leaned down so his face was only inches away from mine, his slightly bloodshot eyes locking on mine. He was still drunk, it was clear in his posture and the way his words slurred. Thankfully, I chose to stick to water all evening.
I returned his stare, slightly afraid if Iām being honest. Iām not scared of him hitting me or anything, I know Dan would never hurt me; I just hate any kind of heated arguments, and it looks like this is about to turn into one. And it doesnāt help that heās drunk, lord knows this boyās got a temper when heās intoxicated.
āYou know what y/n? The only one in the wrong here is you. Youāre always being so fucking clingy and obsessive, itās annoying as fuck! Are you waiting for me to apologize? Is that what you want? Well guess what? Itās not going to happen!ā His face got closer with each word, and I sunk back in my seat only for him to follow. āIām not sorry for having a little bit of fun for once! Iām not sorry h/ex/n sat on my fucking lap! The only thing Iām sorry for is dating such a fucking bitch!ā He spat in my face. It took everything in me not to cry on the spot. I know 90% of his anger was from the alcohol, but that was no excuse to talk to me, or anyone at that, in such a horrible way.
My eyes dropped to my feet, I didnāt even want to look at him right now or else Iād be too tempted to slap him. Fighting with him was a lost cause right now, so thereās no point of sitting here and letting him continue to scream random shit in my face that he probably wonāt remember tomorrow.
I gently pushed him out of my face and slid by him, making a beeline for the stairs.
āWhere are you going? This is why we rushed home right? So you could drag me back here and tell me everything Iāve done wrong!ā I ignored him, walking up the stairs to our room all while biting my tongue. He stumbled up the steps behind me. āCāmon, tell me how much of a shitty boyfriend I am! Tell me how I screw everything up! Itās your favorite thing to do isnāt it?ā Iād like to say Iām blocking out everything coming out of his mouth, but Iād be lying. As much as I hate to admit it, each sentence is like another jab to my heart. Weāve gotten into small disagreements here and there, but heās never gotten this loud before, or seemed this aggravated. But like I said before, thereās no point in arguing with him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy arenāt you fucking answering me? Youāre the one who started it by throwing things out of proportion!ā Ā When I reached the room, I simply walked over to the bed. From the corner of my eye, I could see Dan standing in the doorway with his hands clenched at his side while smoke practically fumed out of his ears. I grabbed a throw blanket and a pillow from the bed and turned around to look at him with the calmest face I could muster. Not breaking eye contact, I made my way to him until we were standing toe and toe, and handed him his bedding for the night.
āIām not interested in fighting with you Dan.ā It wasnāt until I tried talking that I noticed the large lump in my throat. His shoulders slumped as his face converted from fury to confused, although the anger was still evident.
āJust the fact that you donāt understand why Iām angry speaks volumes to me. Maybe itās the alcohol talking, or maybe thatās just who you are, but regardless, Iām not going to sit here and let you scream at me and put the blame on me for your actions.ā His lips were slightly parted, and his eyes brows were knitted together as if he were trying to take in all the words coming from my mouth. āDrink some water. You donāt want to wake up with a hangoverā And with that, I shoved the blanket in his chest and slammed the door in his face before he could finish mumbling my name.
Then the tears made their grand appearance.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I collapsed on the bed as the tears erupted from my quivering body, failing to hide the high pitched sobs with my hand. I swiped furiously at the fat drops of water running down my cheeks, hiccupping as I did so.
How could he possibly blame me for what happened? He was the one who let his ex get comfortable on his lap. Sure, I like to stay in most of the time, but he never seemed to have a problem with it before. I donāt know, all this thinking is driving me insane.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Once my crying had calmed down, and I was capable of sitting up without collapsing into a pile of tears, I peeled off my dress and through on one of Danās large t-shirts. Jerk or not, there was nothing more comfortable than sleeping in an over sized, Dan-scented shirt. Ā I crawled under the blankets on my side of the bed and tried to let sleep take over my racing brain.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I was in that half awake-half sleeping state when the bed sunk behind me. I didnāt need to turn around to know who occupied that space. āY/n,ā Danās raspy voice whispered in my ear. He sounded a lot more sober than before.
I peaked at the alarm clock sat on the bedside desk; the bright red letters glowing 3:40 AM. Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Refusing to pay him any attention, I pulled the bed sheet to my chest and curled up in a ball.
āLook. I-Iām sorry for everything I said before.ā His hand grazed my shoulder as he scooted closer to my body. āIn case you couldnāt tell, I was drunk. And I know thatās no excuse for talking to you the way I did. I was wrong and Iām sorry.ā I twisted my body to face him, pulling off the most convincing angry face my sleepy self could pull off. āSorry doesnāt take away the hurtful things you said Dan, and it also doesnāt excuse the fact that (h/ex/n) conveniently showed up tonight and...you know the restā. Dan sighed. I was now lying completely on my back with my head tilted his way, pitched up on a couple of pillows. Danās left hand rested over my stomach. āI didnāt exactly invite her over to my lap. Honestly y/n, it all happened so quickly. One minute Iām relaxing, drinking a beer, and the next thing I know, she shows up and is rubbing her filthy self all over me. I swear to you y/n, I would never even think you hurt you like that. I love you way too much to even think of another girl.ā
āThen why didnāt you tell me this to begin with?ā I questioned. Ā āI donāt know, to make you angry I guess. You automatically assumed I had let her take a seat on my lap, and I guess I was just pissed you actually thought I would do that to you, that you didnāt trust me. So I did the stupidest thing I couldāve done and took my anger out on you and Iām sorry for that. Iām so sorry baby,ā he mumbled the last part in my ear as he dug his face into my hair, one hand resting underneath my head in some kind of hug, one that sent tingles throughout my body. I reciprocated the hug locking both of my arms around his torso in a tight embrace. āIām sorry too, for jumping to conclusions. I love you Dan. Just the thought of someone coming in between what we have drives me insane.ā
āI love you too, y/n. I love you too much to ever be stupid enough to let you slip through my fingers.ā I giggled as he peppered my face with kisses. āHow about we get some sleep, yeah? I donāt know about you, but Iām drained.ā I nodded in agreement and he pulled me into the mattress so I was lying right on his chest. In one swift movement, the blanket was pulled over our tangled bodies. My last thoughts were of his soft lips pressing to my forehead along with whispered āI love youās before sleep took over my body.
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