[dannieterese]

I thought 2020 would be the year I got everything I wanted. Now I know 2020 is the year I appreciate everything I have.

This couldn’t have been more true. 2020 has taught me how cry my heart out, acknowledge my fears and flaws, and then move forward with my life. And although this was not how I imagined my 2020 year would unfold or end, i know it’s, undoubtedly, not the end of the road. 2021 may not turn out to be a better year than 2020, but I have faith in myself and trust in God that I’ll still stand strong. 

[dannieterese]

letters to you, 5.

I really miss my best friend.

[dannieterese]

desperately need a haircut.

thinking of changing up my style, but am also terrified of changes, lol.

also learning to smile and love myself. always a lifelong journey.

[dannieterese]

letters to you, 2.

My mom asked about you the other day.

All I could say was ‘I don’t know..’

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Ice Palace

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“I used to build dreams about you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benediction

[runawaytrain]

It's funny how one day you feel you'll never be able to live your life without him, and then the next day you’re doing exactly that.

[dannieterese]

(via runawaytrain)

[dannieterese]

2020.

wow, it’s been a long time.

I never thought 2020 would have led me here, but I just need to get stuff off of my chest. Worst year I have had since I can remember.

1. A week ago, I was supposed to celebrate my 9 year anniversary, but we broke up 2 weeks before that. Right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to be happy by myself.. because I can’t remember what that’s like after all this time. I planned my life around him -- where to move after I graduate from medical school and become a doctor, where we’re gonna live and have a family, what our future would look like -- and now I don’t know what I am supposed to do anymore.. How do I look forward to graduation when everything I planned is half missing?

2. COVID-19 and quarantining has been in place for 1 month now. As a medical student, I feel so useless and restless. The world still looks bleak and I worry about the impact and my mom and her work... and just everything. She’s getting older and weaker everyday and the financial and family stress of this quarantine time is slowly ruining her.

3. My aunt passed away 2 days ago... at 49 years old. And I can’t see her. And there won’t be any funeral because... quarantine. And again, I feel so useless. To not even be able to say goodbye or see her one last time... We share the same birthday and it just won’t be the same. Not to mention my uncle died on my birthday several years ago and I couldn’t make it back in time to see him go. Why do I lose everyone who ever shares a common life with me?

4. Someone dented my car today. Only saw it this morning as I walked to my car to go to med school/hospital for work. No note, no apology, just nothing. I’m literally crying and it’s so stupid. It’s just a fucking dent on a car.. but anyone who knows me knows how bad my driving anxiety is. I always try to drive safely and well. I never push my limit because I never want to make a mistake... and then someone goes and dents my car while it’s parked fucking perfectly in a corner. 

I can’t fucking wait for 2020 to be over. I can’t wait for that one day in the future, when I can look back on this moment and realized that none of it mattered in the grand scheme of things. That I am strong and all I need is myself.

[dannieterese]

28 and feeling great.

[dannieterese]

The Roosevelt Hotel  ||  New Orleans, LA

[dannieterese]

Been throwing ✌️since 1990 #28andfeelinggreat 😊

If you had asked 14-year-old me where I’d be or what I’d do when I turned 28, I don’t think I would have imagined still being in school, going for an M.D. But here I am and I’ve appreciated every mile of the journey here.

It hasn’t been easy getting out of where I came from to end up here, but everything that has led me here has molded me into the person I am today. And for that, I am eternally grateful. And I’m eternally grateful for the people who took time out of their stressful day to celebrate my 28th birthday.

[dannieterese]

MS2 life update.

Maybe I’m a bit more realistic.

Maybe I’m a bit more jaded.

Maybe I’m a bit more cynical.

But maybe it made me more human.

I finished my 1st year of medical school at Tulane about 7 months ago and now I’m halfway through my 2nd year, prepping for the biggest exam of my medical career -- the Step 1 of a three-part licensing exam. My MS1 year has been an insane journey. People weren’t kidding when they said med school was like drinking from firehose, while chasing after a firetruck. But people also don’t tell you how much fun med school can be; it was so much more fun than undergrad, despite being more sleep deprived, more malnourished and experiencing a boatload of health-deteriorating episodes.

For many students, the first time ever holding a patient’s heart or brain changed their outlooks on life. But for me, it was the moment I cracked a cadaver’s vertebral column to get to their spinal cord that I experienced both a sense of repulsiveness and reverence. It was also that moment (and after 3 months of solely anatomy and dissection) that I firmly realized surgery completely turned me off. If I never have to pick up a scalpel or knife ever again, my life would still feel entirely fulfilled.

In a few more days, school starts back up again and it’s back to the grind. I have two more exams in our Brain, Mind and Behavior block (neuroanatomy/neurology/psychiatry) before it’s our dedicated time to study for the USMLE Step 1. If I’ve learned anything so far, it’s to take life one day at a time and one goal at a time. I tend to get so overwhelmed that I feel mentally crippled. But when I break objectives down into manageable, multi-step to-do lists, things are a little easier. I guess, if Tulane hasn’t already failed me out of medical school after 2 years, they’re not going to fail me out now. They’ve already invested close to $200K on my education, LOL.

[dannieterese]

summertime,

and the living’s easy.

[dannieterese]

Lahaina  ||  West Maui, Hawaii

Just enjoying the warm, salty breeze on the harbor.. with my daily Starbuck ice coffee breve of course!

[dannieterese]

Lahaina  ||  West Maui, Hawaii

Such beautiful, warm blue waters..

[dannieterese]

new orleans: home sweet home.

It’s been ages since I’ve come on Tumblr! It’s difficult to believe that since the last post, I’m already halfway through my 1st year of medical school; I’m 1/8 of the way to becoming a M.D! JK, but it helps to think optimistically sometimes :)

A lot has changed in the past 6 months; I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But maybe that’s something I can reserve for another day, to fully reflect upon.

But in the meantime, just some snapshots around New Orleans. From Canal Street to Bourbon Street, and along to the French Quarter -- which, amazingly, is only a 10-minute walk from Tulane Medical School!

[dannieterese]

Welcome to my school!

Tulane University School of Medicine

We don’t actually have a campus, like a lot of other schools. Our buildings and classes are kind of sprawled around the Medical District in the Downtown area of New Orleans. I like to think it gives us opportunities to walk more and not be sedentary, and wander outside of our med school bubble!