Nowhere to go but up

Danny Harper, Level Two Patient at Thornewood. Mental Hospital Xe/Xem/Xir/Xemself Pictures and theme do not belong to me. Theme belongs to shayofrp Current hair color: red.

[esmeralda-anderson-deactivated2]

Family II Danny & Esmeralda

[esmeralda-anderson-deactivated2]

If Esmeralda had any vindictive bone in her body, the young woman would have told the woman that if she did not learn to start to try to understand Danny then Esmeralda would have a ban on her visitation with Danny until she understood. Esmeralda would have informed the woman that she had enough money to help Danny disappear into New York City where xe could live the life that xe deserved. She would have made sure the woman knew how much power that she had in the situation. She could make it where Danny never returned home to them, and even asked their to be a restraining order against her.

However, as long as Danny or anyone else that she loved was not being harmed, that vindictive bone did not start acting up. She wanted to make this an easy thing for Danny. Making xir relationship with xir mother deteriorate was not on the list of healthy things. She knew that it might take multiple sessions before everything came together, and she was okay with that. She spent four times a week with Danny to help xem with xir problems. It would take at least three more sessions with his parents before she could return xem with xir parents.

She at least was happy that xir mother could at least keep herself under control when she was around xem. She seemed to genuinely love xem. She wondered if she could play on that the next time that they talked alone. That might help her hook the woman into following along with her. She needed the environment to be safe to return home to, and if Anne was being difficult, she was scared to allow xem to go home.

The young brunette’s heart swelled as she heard the sound of Jacob telling Danny that he loved xem. It was nice to see that this had gone somewhere at least. Xir father was making huge steps this session.

She smiled warmly at Danny before waving at Jacob. “I told your parents about your laser hair surgery. Your father is very warm to it. He’s even picking up the pronouns. You want to help teach them how to use them?”

[danny-harper-blog]

Danny's eyes widened. Xe hadn't expected that xir parents would pick up on everything so quickly. They were open minded for their age, but they still didn't necessarily understand or agree with what his mother termed  "a different lifestyle" when they were in polite company. They'd panicked a bit when xe'd come out as not straight, and had wanted xem to keep quiet about it for fear that bullying would get worse at school. Still, they'd tol xem they'd love him and try to understand. And after a weird and awkward talk about AIDS, they'd been a lot more okay with things. But that was just orientation. That had nothing to do with gender identity, which Danny's parents hadn't really understood. They largely equated trans people with drag, and generally just shied away from the topic as a whole.

"Really?" xe said, looking to xir father. "Thank you!" Xe hadn't expected him to understand it at all, and even go against it. But it seemed that Dr. Anderson's talk with xir parents had worked out. Xe gave xir dad a beaming smile, then one to Esmeralda as well. Xe knew that she was working hard to make sure everything worked out. I was something xe really appreciated. And now that xe'd heard that the electrolysis was a go, nothing could ruin xir mood.

Danny sat down in a chair, crossing xir legs. Where to begin now? Xe paused to try to find the right words, since xe knew they mattered with things like this. "Well, I guess you understand what they're for. Like how some people use he or she. I don't really like either. So I use some different ones. Xe, xem, xir, and xirself." As xe spoke, xe started to move xir hands as always. "I know they sound kind of funny... but I promise you other pople use them. It's a thing." Xe glanced at Esmeralda to make sure xe was doing okay. "So xe is like he or she.  Xem is like him or her. Xir is like her or his, and xemself is like himself or herself. Does that make sense?" Jacob nodded. "I think so. I'm going to try using them, but I'll probably mix it up. I'm sorry." Danny shrugged. "It's okay. I'm  happy you're trying." It meant that xir dad was starting to change and to accept things, and that meant a lot.  

Danny glanced at xir mother, wondering if she was going to comment. She seemed to be upset about something, but xe wasn't sure what that was. She waved her hand again. "We'll try," she said, although she didn't sound as interested. Danny's heart sank a bit. So she wasn't as understanding as xe'd hoped. She was acting like she did when she was annoyed about something. But on the other hand, at least xir dad was starting to get it. That was something to be celebrated.

Jacob cleared his throat, hoping to move on. He didn't want to ruin things for Danny, especially not when he was seeing xem smiling and looking happier than xe'd been in months. "We'll work on it," he affirmed. He looked at Danny's therapist. "Was there anything else you wanted us to address today?" If not, he'd be happy just to spend time with Danny and chat.

[danny-harper-blog]

Belarus, Latvia.

Belarus: Is there anyone you love? Family, friends, romantic interest?I love my family. I mean, they’re my family, right? I can’t hate them.

I also really like Oakley. He’s a great friend and boyfriend.

Latvia:

Do you believe you are brave?

No, not at all.

[danny-harper-blog]

Roman Empire, North Italy, Spain

Roman Empire: How would you like to be remembered?

I think I want to be remembered as someone who made the world a better place for being there.

North Italy: What is your least favorite part of your personality?

I don’t like how awkward I am. I hate that I can never say the right thing or act the right way.

Spain: What would you tell to the person or people you hurt most if you had a second chance?

I’m sorry. I should have come to you earlier. I know I closed myself off and didn’t talk to you about how much I was struggling. I didn’t want you to worry, and then I just didn’t care any more. What I put you wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Cookies || Oakley and Danny

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Oakley nodded, committing these things to memory.  He wanted to know these so he could think before talking.  He didn’t want to hurt Danny in any way.  “Ve kan both try our besht to not talk about zose topiks now.  Okay?” he asked as he held out his hand, only his pinkie-finger extended.

Shrugging he stated, “It vasn’t good for me to shtudy so much.  It made it diffikult to hafe friends.  But I got zem efentually so it vas okay.”  Laughing again his sides hurt a little from doing it so much.  “Zat’s great.  I’m sorry zey banned you from art.  Zey probably didn’t vant you outshining zee ozer kids.”  Danny didn’t really need the tin foil to shine.

“Oh yes.  I lofed to eat kookie dough.  I don’t anymore zough.  One day I ate too much and srew-up.  I don’t eat it anymore,” he chuckled with a blush.  After that day he swore to never eat it again in fear of getting sick again.  He didn’t want to miss school even though he didn’t have school anymore.

[danny-harper-blog]

Danny nodded. “Deal,” xe said, holding out xir own hand for a pinkie promise. It was a little bit silly, but xe appreciated that Oakley was showing that he really meant it. Danny meant it as well. Xe didn’t want to hurt Oakley on accident, especially since Oakley was xir best friend in the place.

“Well, as long as you ended up with friends, right?” Xe was trying to be optimistic about things. Xe could see where studying might be a problem, but as long as Oakley’d ended up with friends, things couldn’t be too bad.

Danny shrugged in response. “I deserved it. I did use up all the tissue paper and glue.” Xe put on a smirk. “Oh yeah, I did.” It was all false confidence; the other kids had pretty much ignored xem, since they’d been making their own projects.

Danny grabbed two spoons anyways. “I still think you should try it,” xe said. Xe’d never gotten sick from cookie dough before. Xe knew it could happen theoretically, but the odds of it happening were so low that xe hadn’t really cared to much. Danny scooped up a spoon full of cookie dough and put it in xir mouth. “Yummmm” xe said, savoring the taste of the dough and the chocolate. “It’s really good,” xe told Oakley, holding out a spoon for him in the hopes of tantalizing him into eating it.

[esmeralda-anderson-deactivated2]

Family II Danny & Esmeralda

[esmeralda-anderson-deactivated2]

Esmeralda openly sighed at the woman allowing her to see that the young woman was getting exasperated by her. “There isn’t much else you need to know. Xe does have depression that is going to need to be treated before xe leaves. Plus xe might have an anxiety disorder, so I’m watching for that. However, I need to treat the situational depression before I tackled the underlying depression, because I don’t want to overdose xem with medications that xe doesn’t need. A lot of xir depression could be linked to xir gender confusion. Xe mainly needs to be able to go back home to two people who aren’t going to make xir situation worse.”

She turned to Jacob with a warm smile letting him know that she approved of his openness. She knew this worked with people. Humans were naturally approval seekers. She knew that if Annie felt like she was doing something wrong she’d seek a way to get approval from the person with power. It was the first time Esmeralda ever used her degree to manipulate someone to see what she wanted them too. She felt bad for it, but at that point with the woman she felt like she had no other opportunity. She was too simple minded to pick up the other words that she was saying to her.

“That is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard all day. With your help, Danny will be able to return home so much sooner. First, the pronouns are very important. Danny seems like xe is very patient with someone picking them up, so don’t worry too much about xem getting angry if you slip up. You’re making an effort, and xe with love it. Xir eyes just lit up when I just asked xim about xir pronouns. Xe is the equivalent to he or she, xem is like him or her, xir is possessive like his or her, and xemself is like him or herself.”

She stuck her head out the door and asked the secretary to go tell Danny that xir parents were here. “Why don’t you ask xem? Xe expressed some interest in seeing you two again.”

She bit her lip before holding up her finger. “Oh! I wanted to let you two know that if xe is good for the next two months, I’m going to pay to get have laser hair surgery all the skin that xe would like.  It’s to make xim more comfortable in xir skin.”

[danny-harper-blog]

Annie placed her folded hands in her lap and became quiet, skulking rather than showing her overt disapproval. She didn't like this therapist, and it seemed that even her own husband was against her in this. So she'd keep quiet, since it was apparent that she wasn't going to make any headway in this session. She couldn't stand seeing another, young woman tell her how she could and couldn't raise her child. That was one of the problems now, people catering to all their child's wishes and fantasies. Danny'd wanted to be the Rainbow Fish for a month while he'd been in kindergarten. Did that make him suddenly grow gills or give him the ability to breathe underwater? No. No matter how hard he wanted to be a fish, he was a human.

She stayed quiet even as Esmeralda indicated that she wasn't sure if Danny had an anxiety disorder. Of course he did. They'd known that since middle school, when a doctor had told him he had anxiety and gave him pills for it. Had she even read his file on it? However, as much as Annie doubted Esmeralda's skills or disliked what she was saying, she did agree with the decision to keep him off medication. She didn't want Danny anywhere near pills again. "I agree. No medication," she said curtly. She wanted Esmeralda to know that she didn't have all the power and that despite what the young woman might think, she did know a thing or two about raising her child.

"I'll be sure to ask Danny when I see... xem?" Jack said, hesitantly trying out the new pronouns. He was sure he'd mix them all up, but he wanted to do his best to get them right now. The concept was definitely odd to him, but if his therapist said it was in Danny's best interest, he'd do all he could to make it work. 

"Oh?" he said in response to the comment about hair removal. It was something he hadn't thought about. He'd heard about surgeries and hormones of course, but not hair removal. Of course, it made sense when he started to think about it. "That's very generous of you--" "And not necessary." Annie interjected. Jacob sighed. It was going to be a long car ride back home. But he thought he might be able to get his wife to change her mind. She could be very stubborn, but maybe he could figure something out. "We appreciate the gesture," he continued. "And I'd be glad to pay for it as well."

Danny stepped into the room hesitantly. Xe wore a simple plaid button up and jeans. An outfit xe liked, and one that wouldn't offend xir parents. "Hi," xe said at the doorway, awkwardly waving. It was weird to see xir parents talking with Esmeralda. And always weird. Every time xe saw them, xe always thought they looked disappointed. Like their kid was a fuck up and they were reminded of it every time. But they also smiled and told xem they loved xem, so xe wasn't sure which one was really true.

Annie stood first and made a point of hugging Danny, kissing xir forehead, and then adjusting the collar of xir shirt. "I missed you," she told Danny. Xe smiled back, still shyly. "I missed you too." Then xe stepped over to xir father, who spread his arms wide and gave Danny a long, tight hug. "You know I love you, no matter what," he said quietly into Danny's ear. Danny pulled back to look at him. It was kind of a weird thing for him to say. But then xe remembered that Dr. Anderson had talked to them. And then things felt a lot more okay. Danny's mouth turned upwards into a smile, one far more genuine than before. Then Danny turned to look at Dr. Anderson, looking to her for direction.

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Midnight Date || Closed || Danley

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

“Berlin is about forty Minuten away from Wittenberg.  It’s a good school so I dealt vith zee kommuting  It vas a nice vay to vake me up,” he explained with a small smile.  The town he grew up in was so beautiful and full of art.  He missed it dearly since there wasn’t much architecture to look at here.  Oakley looked at him and smiled before turning back to the stars.  “It’s a beautiful country.  Zere is amazing churches, my faforite being All Saints Church.  It has zese huge shtained glass vindows.  Zere’s also chandeliers zat light zee hallvays.  All zee shtruktures look like kastles and it’s so surreal,” the German rambled excitedly as he squeezed Danny’s hand.

[danny-harper-blog]

“Did you ride on the trains?” Danny asked. Xe knew they were commonplace in Europe, but xe’d only ridden on the lightrail a couple of times before. Americans loved having their highways and private cars.

“Wow,” Danny said. Xe wasn’t a huge fan of churches on principle, but even xe couldn’t ignore the beauty of cathedrals and old churches. They were gorgeous, with their ornate carvings and statues and soaring ceilings. And then with dark wood and huge, colorful windows... It was truly straight out of a castle storybook. Danny grinned at Oakley, although xe knew he probably couldn’t tell, so xe just squeezed Oakley’s hand back. “That’s so cool.”

[meandyou-and-allthestars]

Go out and paint the stars.

Vincent van Gogh (via soulsscrawl)

[esmeralda-anderson-deactivated2]

Family II Danny & Esmeralda

[danny-harper-blog]

Hesmeralda-anderson:

Esmeralda didn’t quite understand how the woman did not completely grasp what she was saying to her. It was a clear explanation… or she thought that it had been. It seemed that it was, because xir father clearly understood what she was saying to him. She guessed that the mother was so stuck in her gender norms that she did not catch on to everything that the younger woman was saying. It was as if she had no capability to empathize with the position that her child was in despite Esmeralda explaining xir position. Her face stayed flat despite being annoyed at the woman for assuming that Danny had to be fixed as if not having a gender was some sort of crime. It amazed her that a female was the one that was not understanding this. Did she not understand that women in modern developed countries broke historical gender norms? Did she not think about the fact that if she was born in a time before the one that she was in that she’d be the one with the confusion about gender roles? It was as if she had no clue that gender was a social construct that was supposed to be fluid.

She had a little hope though thanks to xir father. She smiled warmly and nodded and waved her hand to Jacob. “Yes, he understands what I’m trying to say. Female and male is a social construct. Danny falls somewhere between there. Xe feels like xe isn’t either of them, and that’s perfectly okay. What’s not okay is the depression and anxiety that he suffers from… largely from xir gender confusion. It’s okay to be a female. It’s okay to be a male. It’s okay to be both. It’s okay to be neither. It’s okay to be somewhere between, or really just not be on our two gender scale. I… we’re not fixing xem.” She looked at the woman kindly while trying to still get her point across. She could not continue on like this if the woman was still going to argue this whole he or she gender thing. She needed the woman to understand the truth of the situation.

Dark hair bounced around Esmeralda’s oval face as she turned to Jacob with a warm smile. “Mr. Harper what you two can do is to show xem love, and to always remind xem that you love xem no matter what. Support xem in xir journey to understand xir gender. Don’t feel afraid to ask xem  questions… but don’t be mean about it. Encourage xem to express xemself the way that xe wants to for example buying xem make up. Simply put: just be the support system that xe needs so desperately. Xe struggles a lot with xir gender, and xe needs someone to stand behind xim and tell xim that xe can do it.”

Annie pressed her lips together and brushed a piece of hair away from her face, still flustered by her husband's public disagreement with her. In general, she liked to put on a united front while they were in public, then settle their differences in private. She continued to shoot him subtle, dirty looks as the discussion continued. She would have a discussion with him later about this. Now, however, she felt pressed into following his lead. Ordinarily he was laid back, but he seemed intent on this. It was clear to her by the way he leaned forward attentively, his gaze fixed on the young doctor.

"Fine," she said, waving her hands to dismiss the argument. No matter how much she disagreed, she didn't want to make a fuss here. "Let's say Danny isn't either. And that we're going to put up with this. Is there anything else we need to know about his treatment?" She knew Danny'd decided not to go onto medication again, which made perfect sense to her. But how much therapy did her kid need before he could come home?

Jacob nodded along to Esmeralda's words, ignoring Annie's looks. "I'll be behind Danny one hundred percent." he said resolutely. It might take some getting used to, but he'd put in the effort and learn as much as he could. "So you keep using xe and xem and xir... those are pronouns, right?" Danny had tried explaining it once, but it hadn't quite taken effect. Now Jacob understood far more, and was in a better frame of mind to understand it all. “How is Danny?” he asked. He was anxious to see his child and see how Danny was progressing, as well as to ask some questions. And apologize, of course.

[danny-harper-blog]

Ask Meme: Send Me Some Countries

America: What is your favorite place to eat?

Australia: Do you have any quirks when speaking?

Austria: What kind of person do you wish to be?

Belarus: Is there anyone you love? Family, friends, romantic interest?

Belgium: What do you think of your siblings?

Botswana: Do you like to sing? Why or why not?

Bulgaria: Who do you consider close to you?

Cameroon: Describe your culture.

Canada: Favorite wintertime activity?

China: What was the best moment of your life?

Cuba: What sort of grudges do you hold if any?

Cyprus: What hands-on activities do you like (drawing, carving, building, etc.)?

Denmark: Do you wish for something of your past?

Egypt: Do you stand up for what you believe in? How?

England: Are you controlling?

Estonia: Do you think people often misunderstand you?

Finland: What do you prefer, kindness, sternness, or apathy?

France: How do you show love for those you care for?

Germania: What is the hardest thing you have ever had to do?

Germany: Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself?

Ghana: What is your favorite sport?

Greece: Do you let other help you when in need?

Hungary: Who is the person you trust most?

Hutt River: What is the most memorable dream or nightmare you have had?

Hong Kong: Do you fear death?

Iceland: Do you hide your real personality? Why?

India: How important is family to you?

Japan: Tell us a secret about yourself.

Kenya: What is your favorite wild animal?

Korea: What is one thing you accomplished by yourself?

Kugelmugel: Is there anyone you have a love-hate relationship with?

Latvia: Do you believe you are brave?

Ladonia: What is the internet site you visit most often?

Liechtenstein: How do people underestimate you most often?

Lithuania: Do you desire power?

Macau: What is your favorite festival or celebration?

Molossia: Do you consider yourself strong?

Monaco: Do you think you are a lucky person?

New Zealand: Would you rather be an elf, dwarf, Hobbit, or wizard?

North Italy: What is your least favorite part of your personality?

Norway: What was the most disappointing time in your life?

Netherlands: Most generous thing someone has done for you?

Poland: Hardest thing you have gone through?

Prussia: Would you prefer to live forever or die alone?

Roman Empire: How would you like to be remembered?

Romania: What is something you are very ashamed of?

Russia: Have you ever suffered from low self esteem? Do you still?

Sealand: Who is your best friend?

Seborga: What is your favorite beverage?

Seychelles: How do you handle people being rude to you?

South Italy: What is your favorite part of your personality?

Spain: What would you tell to the person or people you hurt most if you had a second chance?

Sweden: Are you a leader, follower, or independent?

Switzerland: Would you consider yourself evil, good, or neutral?

Thailand: How good is your poker face?

Tibet: What do you value most?

Taiwan: What do you think of the people or person who raised you?

Turkey: Would you ever want children?

Uganda: How would you like others to see you?

Ukraine: What is one thing that has made you stronger in life?

Vietnam: What is something you are proud of about yourself?

Yemen: What kind of art do you like?

Zimbabwe: Who is your favorite character from any folklore?

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Midnight Date || Closed || Danley

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Oakley liked this.  It was one of the best experiences in his life and it really was perfect.  He didn’t think about perfection much when Danny was around.  Xe was helping him get better without knowing.  He just hoped he was helping xem too.

“I am originally from Wittenberg and the kollege I vent to vas in Berlin.  Berlin is zee kapital of Germany.  Wittenberg ist a small town.  All zee architecture ist beautiful und zee churches are magnificent.  I vish I kould take you zere Danny.  I feel like you’d lofe it zere,” he mused as he looked at the other stars. He knew his star was trying it’s best to keep him safe.

[danny-harper-blog]

“Are they far away from each other?” xe asked. Danny knew Germany was a lot smaller than the United States. People could travel a lot farther across the country in a day than in the U.S. And like Oakley said, they had architecture and churches and art. Danny wanted to travel there sometime, when xe was out. “It’s okay,” xe said. Oakley didn’t need to worry about not being able to take xem to Germany. “Just tell me about it instead.”

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Cookies || Oakley and Danny

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Oakley nodded with a smile as he replied, “I vill try not to do it again eizer.”  It was hard not to trigger someone when you didn’t know what they were.  So if they just said it aloud it made many things in life simpler.  “Um, sure.  My triggers are pointing out mishtakes in my vork, teasing, talking about grades, uh, I zink zat ist it.  Mine are mainly based around school.”  Blushing a little bit he felt his were somewhat stupid even though they weren’t to him.

Grinning he nodded, “I learned more zan my fair share of knowledge.  It vas fun to shtudy in my kase.”  Hearing what Danny had done he broke out laughing, “I bet you vere as kolorful as zee Rainbow Fish.”

[danny-harper-blog]

Danny listened carefully, trying to remember what Oakley was saying. All of hem made sense. And xe’d have to be careful to annoy them, since xe didn’t want to harm Oakley an more. “Um, mine are suicide, self harm, homophobic and transphobic things, and teasing too.” It was hypocritical that xe hated being teased so much, especially since xe’d just teased Oakley. 

Danny moved on quickly to change the topic. Xe didn’t really want to think about the things that upset xem as much.”Well, if you like studying, why not?” There wasn’t anything wrong with learning extra tings.  “I made sure I had all of the colors,” xe said, cracking a grin again. “I even found a piece of tin foil for the silver scale.” Danny shook xir head. “I wasn’t allowed to do art for a month.”

Danny looked at the bowl of cookie dough. It looked good enough to xem. “Do you eat the cookie dough in Germany?” xe asked. Xe loved the raw dough, but xe wasn’t sure if Oakley would think that was weird or not. Either way, xe planned on making him try it.

[nuuro]

Visit Original Link

Times ten

[missdpadalecki]

Visit Original Link

Alien Ant Farm | Smooth Criminal

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Midnight Date || Closed || Danley

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Oakley smiled when Danny cuddled up to him.  He put an arm around xem and he had never felt more content with another person.  Belle was special, but this was an even more exciting night since it was his first date.

“Yes.  Zat one right zere.  It’s my faforite bekause vhen I lifed in Germany, it vas one of zee only shtars you could see in zee city.  I lifed in a smaller town but zis shtar alvays shined zee brightest.  My Mutter said it vas my lucky shtar und vould alvays keep me und zee people I lofed safe,” he explained with a smile as he pulled Danny a little closer.

[danny-harper-blog]

Danny moved enough to accommodate Oakley’s arm around xem, shifting to fill the gap where Oakley’s arm had been. Xe’d never dated anyone before, so xe didn’t really have anything to compare it to. But this was nice. Were all relationships like this? After their initial awkwardness as friends had subsided, xe’d started to just feel comfortable around him.

Danny looked at the star as xe listened to Oakley speak about it. Xe’d lived in the suburbs, so there had always been some light pollution to block out stars. “What city was it?” xe asked. Danny didn’t know much about Germany, but xe wanted to learn. “That’s cool,” xe said in regards to the lucky star. However, it seemed to work for everyone except Oakley.

[esmeralda-anderson-deactivated2]

Family II Danny & Esmeralda

[danny-harper-blog]

 cesmeralda-anderson:

Esmeralda sighed happily before smiling excitedly. “That is the best news I’ve heard from parents about this. It means that his recovery and returning home will be far quicker.” She stood up and grabbed two suitcases that she had hid behind her desk. 

“I’m sorry that this looks odd. I promise I have a reason.” She offered one, the pink, to Annie, and the second, the blue, to Jacob. “Now… when you were born the doctors looked between your legs, and they said that… oh it’s a boy!” She looked at Jacob with a warm smile, “Or girl.” She laughed before continuing. “Now your parents picked up the suitcases that each of you have. Your’s, Mrs. Harper, labeled with girl, and yours Mr. Harper, labeled with boy. Now these suitcases come with certain things.” 

She reached out and unzipped Mr. Harper’s bag, “Yours came with… sports,” She pulled out a baseball,” vehicles,” a toy truck “action figures,” army man toy “ and short hair…” a picture of short hair “but it didn’t only come with physical things.” She looked up at him. “It also came with toughness, dominance, courage, and leadership.” 

The young brunette turned to Annie. “Now in yours you’d find soft curves and graceful movement, “ A ballerina toy, “dresses and make-up” clothes and lipstick “but you also found perseverance, patience, and nurturing.” 

She sat back as she excitedly continued. “Now you two, I imagine, identify with the things in those suitcases… mostly. I do too. We’re what is known as cisgender. Our sex matches our gender. Danny, however, likes…. some of both of the suitcases. Xe is what is known as transgender. Xe doesn’t really identify completely with female nor male. Xe doesn’t like facial hair, and xe likes make up and feminine styled clothing. However, xe does enjoy some masculine things. You see?” 

Annie and Jacob looked down at the suitcases, then at each other with a confused expression. What did suitcases have to do with anything at all? However, they both noted the distinctive coloring of the suitcase. It was obvious enough that she’d been given the pink one because she was female and he’d been given the blue one because he was male.

Jacob looked down at his bag, nodding as the things came out one by one.  He thought he was starting to understand where she was heading with this, She was going back to the stereotypes. Trucks and action figures and sports for boys. That’s what was expected of them. Anything else was seen as odd, possibly weak. That had always been one of their concerns with Danny. He’d never been one for sports or trucks. He’d liked action figures well enough. However, he’d definitely been more inclined towards art, blocks, music and books. And dolls, when he could get his hands on them. They’d limited his time with them when it became evident that other children were treating him differently for it.

What Jacob didn’t expect was the personality traits. Esmeralda was right, however. People expected Danny to act a certain way because the birth certificate said he was a boy. Was that fair? Probably not.

Annie watched her bag being unzipped, pursing her lips as she watched. Of course there was make up and clothing and dolls. That’s what was expected. She also knew that women could be strong and do work. They could have careers, but at the cost of a family . She’d chosen to cut back her hours and raise her family, as was proper. 

“I still don’t understand,” she said. “Is he a boy or a girl?” She couldn’t quite wrap her head around a concept of in between. Nor was she pleased with the idea that her son might not be her son. She loved him, but she didn’t want to see him as a boy in a dress. She knew that wasn’t normal. And wasn’t that just part of the problem? Why he was here? Because “Is there anything you can do to fix him?” 

Jacob  initially stayed silent, not so sure he agreed with what his wife was saying.  He’d grown up learning everything one way. But now he was starting to learn that those things weren’t always right. He remembered when people had marched on Washington to demand equality based on the color of their skin. Back then, people had treated black people terribly based upon things they’d learned. He also remembered the murder of Matthew Shepard. And chillingly, just a day or two before Danny’s suicide attempt, the story about Leelah Alcorn had broken. After Danny had been hospitalized, he’d done some research on her story. And that was what scared him the most: he didn’t want Danny to become another headline. “I don’t think Danny needs to be fixed,” he said quietly to her. She looked at him with her mouth open, mortified that he dared to start an argument in public like this. He looked at Esmeralda, speaking more confidently. He was typically reserved and quiet, more inclined to hide in the background. “What should we be doing as parents for Danny?”

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Cookies || Oakley and Danny

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Oakley felt a little better when Danny apologized.  But he’s been apologized to a million times before.  Everyone that bullied him said it was because he was so successful but he always was open to helping people.  They could have asked but apparently bullying was easier.  “You didn’t know und it’s okay.  Now you do know und hopefully it von’t happen again.  I triggered you earlier und I didn’t know.  If ve know each ozer’s triggers zan ve kan afoid zem und possibly help each ozer vith zem later on,” he suggested as he smiled a little bit at Danny.  He didn’t want to make him feel bad for an accident.  It happens.

“Eferyone vas a veird kid.  Since I didn’t hafe any siblings or any friends zat kould kome ofer, I shtudied.  Zis vas at age six.  Kindergarten,” he laughed lightly.  He remembered his teacher being so confused that the child was so young but was already so ahead of his class.

[danny-harper-blog]

“I won’t do it again,” Danny promised. “But you’re right.” Oakley made a great point. They were both in a psychiatric hospital. In other words, they were totally messed up. They could pretend to be normal all they wanted, but it would never work. “You want to go first?” xe asked.

Danny stood to stir in more chocolate chips. “Well, maybe that is a bit weird,” xe admitted. “But you learned stuff, right? I got in trouble for gluing tissue paper all over me so I could be the Rainbow Fish.” Xe laughed.

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Midnight Date || Closed || Danley

[oakley-seeks-perfektion]

Oakley smiled when he saw Danny coming.  Taking Danny’s hand as soon as xe was on the roof he said, “Zis vas zee only area zat vasn’t fery slanted.  It’s only dangerous during zee vinter.”  Blushing he laid back and pointed, “See zat shtar?  It’s my faforite.”  This was amazing.  With the person he cared about and surrounded by the stars.

[danny-harper-blog]

Danny grabbed onto Oakley’s hand and held it for dear life. Xe wasn’t afraid of heights, but there was something a bit frightening about being on a slanted roof. Even if it wasn’t the steepest portion, it definitely made xem feel nervous. 

Once Oakley settled down, Danny’s initial fear subsided. It was standing up and walking xe was worried about, not just sitting there. That could be okay. Danny lay back down next to Oakley, wriggling over until xir head was againstOakley’s shoulder so xe could use him for warmth. Even though it was summer, the roof did a good job of sucking out their body heat. But when xe was cuddled up with Oakley, it was perfect.

Danny tilted xir head to look at the star. “That bright one?” xe asked, trying to figure it out. There were so many of them up there that it was hard to tell.