Rectal Talk

This is my blog so you can keep up to date with the process while I beat rectal cancer. I hope you enjoy following the process as much as I will enjoy going through it. Seriously, I am going to have a great time knocking this out. Fighting since May 2013...

[dannyzollars]

Danny Zollars

December 6, 1979 - May 31, 2020

Danny died peacefully at home early yesterday morning with family by his side. 

Until the very end, he never stopped fighting. He made the decision at the outset of his diagnosis to live as normally as possible — and through countless surgeries and treatments, he never stopped playing with Zoe, he never stopped working, he never stopped joking, he never stopped running operations in all aspects of our lives.

I know Danny felt your support. It’s part of what helped him bravely beat the odds of this terrible, terminal disease for seven years. Danny’s family, Zoe and I are forever grateful for every minute.

If you’d like to share your memories of Danny, please post them on his Facebook or Instagram pages. I’ll save the stories for Zoe.

We’ll plan a celebration of his life next year. We’re asking that any memorials go to UCLA to help fund cancer research led by doctors Danny respected and believed in most. (When you give your gift on the UCLA website, just type "Danny Zollars" in the comments.)

Love, Amy

[dannyzollars]

March 22, 2020

Zoe finishing up our puzzle the other night.

[dannyzollars]

March 16, 2019

I do 60 of these days broken down between morning and night sessions and 3 sets. Doesn’t seem like much but for this left leg, it’s a beast. I’ve come a long way to just be able to do this without pain. Onward and upward...

[dannyzollars]

March 14, 2020

Here are Rapunzel and I from a few days earlier. Still trying to move on from this walker but it’s definitely a tedious process. I’ll get there though...

[dannyzollars]

March 9, 2020

I started my Physical Therapy exercises at home but before I started, Zoe showed me what to do for the first round.

By the way, these little tiny movements are no joke. I can barely do them but I see small improvement since I started yesterday. Baby steps...

[dannyzollars]

March 8, 2020

This is me working on my fitness at physical therapy. It was nice being able to take normal strides while walking even if I was walking on air. I did more exercising in an hour yesterday than I have done over the last 6 months and now I am super sore. Have to keep grinding though and about to start my at-home exercises. Not excited about it but have to get this fixed 📈

[dannyzollars]

March 6, 2020

I don’t know why I haven’t updated the blog in awhile but I think it has to do with me kind of getting my ass kicked this past month. Usually, when I am in a bad spot, I tend to not write the blog. I don’t really know why but maybe because I haven’t wanted to keep talking about it all. Anyways, here are some “highlights” from the past month...

- We visited with a brilliant doctor, Shumei Kato, down at UCSD in La Jolla. They have a very advanced cancer center and are doing some incredible drug combinations all based on your tumor makeup. He has an initial plan if the pill combo I am on now, at UCLA, isn’t working.

- I am on my 2nd cycle of my current regimen (stirvaga and opdiva) and will have a CT scan at the end of this month to see how everything is going. Let’s hope it’s working! If it’s not, we will go to Plan B.

- The biggest issue I have had is my leg. I ended up getting the titanium nail put directly into my left femur as well as a smaller nail through my left hip. This will ensure that the bone won’t break from any cancer deteriorating that area. Hell, I could hit by a truck and it might not break. Bionic Dan.

- That leg surgery went well but now I am dealing with my leg tendons and muscles not working properly because I haven’t been very mobile. My left hip flexor is so broken down that I can’t lift my leg to get in a car or into a chair. I start PT today to get that strength back. Sure on said I will be ok but will take time to get rid of that pain. Now that I know my leg won’t break with pressure on it, I can start to push a little harder to build that area back up. It’s very difficult, mentally, to hear your femur could break at any moment but then all of a sudden the rod will hold it and you can go for it. I’m having a hard time trusting that process but that should get better at PT.

- I also had a liver biopsy done yesterday down in La Jolla. Aunt Laura slept over and took Z to school and we drove down to UCSD at 4am for the biopsy. It was my first procedure at somewhere outside of UCLA and I was pretty impressed. Much better pre-op and post-op situation for myself and for Amy. I will get these results back in a few weeks but I meet with Dr Kato again on March 20. To top it off, we grabbed some fish tacos for lunch after the biopsy and hit a great spot thanks to my main man, B Spangle.

I just need my leg back and functioning properly. The pain is excruciating at times and it’s the only thing holding me back at this point. It will take some time but I am ready for the process.

[dannyzollars]

February 1, 2020

Yesterday I had two appointments. The first one was to meet with an Orthopaedic Oncologist who is also a surgeon. She spoke to us about the tumors in my hip and femur. I am highly likely to fracture my femur because of the tumors within the bones are weakening the bone structure. The weakest part of my left leg is also the spot that bears the most weight when I walk around. In the short term, I have crutches now to try and minimize that weight on it. The only real solution though is a surgery where they put a small rod down my femur and secure it with 6-8 screws. This will ensure my leg won’t break. The tricky part is that we need to find out if I can do this in conjunction with the treatment I am currently on. The doctors are going to talk and let me know the plan. Hopefully they suggest to put me in a bubble and make me Bubble Boy. That seems like a solid option at this point.

(Those shorts in the picture are special hospital shorts that I have never seen before. While they aren’t the most flattering, they are pretty comfortable and I wish I was introduced to them years ago. May or may not have taken them home with me)

Then the afternoon appointment was just some brain radiation. No big deal. Radiated two spots and they said it went really well. I have a dull headache this morning but overall feeling ok. We are so numb to everything that having brain radiation, to anyone else, would be devastating but to us it’s just another appointment before we figure out what’s for dinner.

Thanks, Cancer.

[dannyzollars]

January 29, 2019

Well just when you think things can’t turn up another notch...I assure you that they can! I got my mri results back and they found two new spots in my brain. The good news is that they are 8mm and 1.3cm which is small and manageable and I get to keep the mask that is pictured above. The bad news is that there are new spots in my brain.

I go in for radiation on Friday afternoon to try and zap these spots out. It sounds like it will only be one treatment per spot and the radiologist said that he should be able to get rid of them. Let’s hope so.

All in all, my leg is getting a little better but the hits just keep coming. The mental part is very difficult right now but I’m on new drugs that hopefully will help take things out throughout my body. We can keep knocking out these little rogue lesions but we are getting to the point where we really need one of these trials and medications to do it’s work.

[dannyzollars]

Friday January 24, 2019

Here are Zoe and I (and Amy taking the pic) headed out for some dinner last night. I had a craving for sushi of all things! We have a great neighborhood spot that’s small and two blocks away. Easy outing for me even though I was winded. Guess the nausea situation is done now though since I ate a ton.

My leg pain is definitely improving. I walked more last night than I have in a few weeks and didn’t really have any setbacks. I’m still on my pain meds and am being cautiously optimistic. If I can keep improving, at this rate, I should be much better by the end of the weekend.

Dr Zoe does it again!

[dannyzollars]

January 19, 2019

I haven’t posted in a little bit but man has there been some shit that’s gone down since my last post...

To start, I have complained about this crazy pain I have been having in my left leg over the last month. At first they thought it was a blood clot but it wasn’t. Then maybe just super tight muscles rom being sedentary. Nope. I finally got an X-ray, a couple weeks ago, and they found cancer in my femur in two places. Near my hip and near my knee. Not ideal. At all. It’s super painful to sit and I now walk around with a cane because they don’t want my femur or hip to break from the pressure I am putting on it. Just when you thought we knew everything that was happening, cancer sneaks into another place in my body (rectum, liver, lung, brain, and femur). I start radiation on the leg this upcoming Wednesday, January 22. Supposedly the radiation should alleviate the pain but we’ve heard that story before.

So while dealing with that issue, I have been on a good amount of pain medicine to try and let me live a somewhat pain free life. It does take quite a bit of meds to combat this and the pain pills help to a degree but not fully. I can’t sit up right because of the pressure and I can’t stand because of the pressure. Last Tuesday, I wasn’t feeling well and we went to see my oncologist. I did some blood work and then ended up getting IV fluids and anti nausea meds because I haven’t eaten anything in awhile. I’ve dropped almost 30 pounds since October but it’s gotten bad the last 3 weeks as nothing is appetizing. You know you are a fatty when you are super nauseous and scrolling through Instagram and all your follows are food based. Not good for the nausea life.

So we come home from the doctor on that Tuesday night and I felt better from the fluids and the anti-nausea meds. We were getting ready for bed and I spike a 102.7 fever. We page the doctor and I am sent to the ER for blood cultures. They find out that I have pneumonia and there are also some side effects from the radiation I had that day. So I got admitted to the hospital and stayed 2 nights while they got everything back under control. There are a few different things that may have been going on with my lung but all in all it was a rough go.

The picture above is what Zoe drew me one morning when I was in the hospital. She knows my fave color is green and she has to show off that gorgeous head of hair. She also added a new touch with some scissor work and cutting out my arms and legs. She’s advanced to say the least...

I feel like this blog is turning into a place where I just complain and share my horrible moments but to be honest, these last 8 weeks have been pretty miserable. I don’t post anything about my cancer journey on any other platform except tumblr. You would have no idea I am going through what I am if you looked at my insta. I want to post more positive things of me out and about with Zoe and Amy (who is the MVP of all MVPs in the entire MVP world). That will soon come back but right now I’m just trying to walk from the kitchen to my room without gasping for air or breaking my leg. I knew turning 40 wasn’t easy but for fucks sake, no one told me it would be like this!

[dannyzollars]

This is where I go for radiation everyday. Part club. Part hospital. Let’s just hope it’s shrinking this little mother f***er that is kicking my ass.

[dannyzollars]

Lung Update

January 3, 2020

I’ve mentioned that I have been having a rough time as of late. I can’t catch my breath, I cough all the time and can’t walk more than 100 feet without being gassed. Well, I went to my 2nd radiation treatment, on the 2nd l, and they found that I had a partially collapsed lung.

The tumor in my left lung had grown a bit and blocked the airway to the lower left lobe which resulted in it deflating. Makes sense that I couldn’t breath or catch my breath 🧐

So today, I went in for a bronchoscopy where Dr Oh ablated a portion of the tumor, opened the airway and got the lung back up and running. He also ablated a couple smaller tumors on the right side. A 2 for 1 if you will.

My breathing should be much better in the next 48 hours but I have had some immediate improvements tonight. No wheezing and no gasping for air seem to be the main highlights.

[dannyzollars]

January 1, 2020

Zoe and I doing my restorative yoga routine. Baby steps into the new year...

[dannyzollars]

December 31, 2019

Today was the first of 10 radiation treatments. It was supposed to be 5 but when I walked in this morning, they upped it to 10. Whatever. As long as it works because I am having a really rough time breathing and catching my breath. The last couple weeks have been brutal and I haven’t improved much. Hopefully this is the first step to improvement!

[dannyzollars]

December 23, 2019

Back in the infusion room getting my Opdivo treatment. Nice little Monday...

[dannyzollars]

December 2019- Descanso Gardens (self posed)