dante machiavelli

i'm just a dude that likes to build houses

[dantemach-blog]

Merry Christmas Dante,

To add to the infamous glitter collection.

-Jonathan

[gyllenhaaldaily]

@vancityreynolds: These fucking assholes said it was a sweater party. 🎄

[jcnathanknightarchive]

@nickadlcr @dantemach

[dantemach-blog]

Merry Christmas, and don’t give me toast with your face on it please. 

Nick. 

ooc; …..selfie toasters are a thing who knew

[dantemach-blog]

hollychevalier‌:

“I mean in terms of pick up lines,” Holly shrugged one shoulder, waving her hand a bit in mid-air as if to say ehhh. “Besides…do they really work? I dunno– I may be out of the whole…” Was the appropriate term dating here? She was sure that Tinder was more for casual hookups than anything else. “But it could work,” Holly glanced at the screen, taking hold of the phone as she really studied the picture, Dante was right– they were beautiful. “I’ve seen that body before,” she held her finger in the air, disregarding the way it may have sounded. “He’s in my pole class. Good dance. Great technique. Very strong upper body.” 

“They work,” Dante replied quickly. “Sometimes,” he added after a beat. Some days, he couldn’t hit the ball worth a damn. Other days, he could hit home runs like nothing. Jesus fucking Christ Dante, stick with what works and you can hit home runs every day had been said once or twice. “Oh yeah?” He inquired with a curious eyebrow, raising his arms behind his head. “So, uh... are there any openings in this... pole class? I’m very interested.”

[dantemach-blog]

avery-carterwate‌:

“I could have, but whats the fun in that?” She smirked. “You can hope he doesn’t speak great english, and he thinks you’re witty and not cringey? It’s worked for me before; they didn’t know I found them insufferable for weeks.” Avery offered with a shrug. “Why? Are you trying to get in my pants, or is it just market research?”

“I’m totally --... pssh... Of course I’m witty,” Dante responded though it was clear he knew he was losing the argument. “A pic of all of this should distract him, I think,” he said with a dismissive hand wave over his body. Not that was much better, but he felt like being a little superficial. “Why not? It’s ninety nine percent market research...”

[dantemach-blog]

svmmerhart‌:

His words brought her to a halt, quickly glancing around them as if to make sure that there wasn’t anyone else that’d shown up that he could have been speaking to. “Uh – wait, what?” She began, shock more than evident on her expression. “Weren’t we definitely talking about you a minute ago?” Summer had to wonder aloud, finding herself nervous at the shift in conversation. A majority of her life had been a sheltered one, making her unprepared for the conversation. “The craziest thing? I don’t – I don’t know. I never really left Summerdale until the bombings and before that I spent most of my time in the dance studio. I still had fun though? I went out with my friends, had a high school boyfriend, won prom queen – I just don’t think any of those things count as crazy?”

“Yes, we were, and now we’re talking about you. C’mon, get with the times!” Dante exclaimed with a furrowed eyebrow, a little endeared. Blink. Blink. This was hard for him to listen to. He crinkled his nose. Jaw dropped momentarily. Eyes scanned his surroundings to see if there anything off about it. No. This was real.  “So you’ve never gone para-gliding or rode an ATV or jumped off a plane or climbed a water tower just because why the fuck not?” He questioned like these things were completely normal.

[dantemach-blog]

hokuspocus‌:

“It’s my birthday, so I can officially drink at 9am without anyone having the right to judge me.” a wide grin caressed her features, as she took a sip from her drink, crossing one leg over the other. The deep bruises upon her knuckles from the recent events still prominent upon her hand, as she kept her fingers wrapped around her glass loosely. At least they matched the color of her dress. “FYI, I don’t celebrate that, but I’ll be expecting the castle and a hot male stripper to arrive at 8pm sharp.”

“Fuck the system,” Dante replied easily with a half-shrug, drink also in hand. “It’s also good to start real nice ‘n early, but I need like, ten of those, so,” he continued on before eyeing the birthday woman momentarily. “Ohh no, we will not be celebrating tonight with glitter, a ridiculous amount of cake, birds, and me as the stripper. Why would we do that for someone’s birthday? That’s ridiculous.”

[dantemach-blog]

ronniegreer‌:

Ronnie had spent the better part of the day making her little horror scene in the snow for the snowman building contest. She’d made her snowman getting attacked by mini snowmen, getting lost in the art of building it and adding some left over fake blood from Halloween. She’d thought about going artsy like some of the others around, but in the end decided to go with her own morbid sense of humor and as she stood back, she grinned at her work. “So,” she said to the person standing nearest to her. “What do you think?”

Dante stared at the army of snowmen in front of them, circling around the design to check out the work she had put into it. But then he came back and stared at a particular focus point, trying not to snicker. “Oh it’s bloody great,” Dante said with a chortle, certainly amused with himself as he put a fist to his mouth as to muffle his laughter. “But you know, it kind of looks that little guy right there...” He pointed toward the middle one. “... is biting his dick off.”

[dantemach-blog]

#

What your muse’s name is in mine’s phone: Dream Boat

What your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone:

What your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone: Barbie Girl By Aqua

My muse’s last text to your muse:

[mms] [just look at this ok][text] when i met you xo

[dantemach-blog]

# !!

What your muse’s name is in mine’s phone: Boogabear 

What your muse’s picture is mine’s phone:

What your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone: Thunder Buddies

My muse’s last text to your muse:

[mms] [a nipple picture just because][text] Yo does this seem female presenting to you???

[connectivitty-blog]

cell phone headcanons

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:                              - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone                              - my muse’s last text to your muse

[imwec-deactivated20180222]

connectivitty:

[sebxsykes]

@astrid-zhen

[dantemach-blog]

josblackwell‌:

Joslyn stared at him with a blank expression as he spoke before speaking. “Bitch please, that is not your A game and we both know it. The internet has made your pick up game weak and you should be ashamed.” Joslyn said with a laugh as she shook her head. “Although, I’m sure for today’s standards it will do, come on let me see.” 

"God dammit you, woman. It is a fucking amazing line and you know it,” Dante whined out in response, raising his feet out to rest on the ottoman in front of him. Admittedly at this point, he knew it wasn’t great but he hardly wanted to admit defeat in front of her. “Apparently I should just always speak Italian and say hi like a normal person. What the fuck is normal these days?” He questioned with a dismissive hand wave. Scooting closer toward her, he held out his phone in front of them. “It should be illegal for him to wear glasses. Fuck.”

[dantemach-blog]

hollychevalier‌:

“No.” Holly stated bluntly before adding. “But that’s because I don’t get it? Then again I’m not really a coffee drinker you know? More like a coffee instagrammer. And it is peppermint mocha sea–” she stopped herself, an eyebrow quirking as she tried to get a glimpse of his phone. “Someone in town? Let me see.”

"Whoah... wait a minute. I’m pretty sure I just heard you say... no,” Dante replied bemusedly with furrowed eyebrows. “I hate the smell of it and yet I know way too fucking much about it,” he said with a shudder. “Espresso is like... super fine. More fine then regular coffee beans. So I’m saying... they’re fine as hell. Because... Jesus fucking Christ on a bicycle.” More than happy to oblige her curiosity, he slid the phone over toward the woman. “He’s Brazilian and has a dancer body. What’s not to love?”

[dantemach-blog]

nickadlcr‌:

“Moment of weakness, but never fear my dear friend there is no one I love more than myself.” he reminded the other vampire with an amused smile, “Then go find one, I have better things to do than slap you.” 

"Uh huh. I know it’s me, but if that helps you sleep at night,” Dante replied with an exaggerated scoff. “Duuuuuuuude. Dude. It takes like a tenth of a second. I’m gonna bug your sorry ass until you do.”

[dantemach-blog]

svmmerhart‌:

Summer gave an honest shrug in response, considering the other side of it. “I’ve always gotten the impression that the people that know how attractive they are, are the ones that like to hear it even more.” A sincere innocence to her voice. “I mean, I’m probably not the one to go to for advice. I’ve had like one relationship ever and have never actually tried to uh – hook up before? But I do appreciate your courage to just jump in head first.”

Looking at her was almost like looking at himself back to when he was a young boy. Starry-eyed and eager to impress. He was entirely focused on his work that he never put himself out there. And now? That young boy was long gone. So he thought. He squinted his eyes upon hearing her words. “Fucking hell, woman,” Dante breathed out in response. “Do you know how attractive you are or...?” He questioned bemusedly. “There’s so much about life to marvel at. So fucking much. Allowing yourself to enjoy it makes it bearable.” There was a pause as he pondered on the question to ask her. “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

[dantemach-blog]

sierra-cole‌:

“Oh, yeah,” Sierra replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes playfully at Dante. “Being compared to coffee is definitely in my top ten aphrodisiacs.” Shaking her head, she dropped the sarcasm and added, “Just tell them they’re beautiful! People like hearing that they’re beautiful.”

"Hey now,” Dante raised his hands out as if in surrender. “People say coffee is life. Coffee is the best thing since sliced bread. Coffee is life.” A quick pause. “Oh I already said that.” Furrowing his eyebrows in bemusement, he pondered on other lines. “So, if I go... well damn, you’re beautiful to someone, like, say, you, it’d work?”

[dantemach-blog]

avery-carterwate‌:

“If you want to get laid, never say that to anyone.” Avery replied with an amused half chuckle. “You sound like one of those creepy old guys that hang around bars trying, and failing, to pick up young drunk college girls from the shallow, shallow, end of the gene pool.”

“You couldn’t have said that three seconds ago before I sent it to him?” Dante shook his head, crinkling his nose at the second part. “No isn’t the end of the world, but fuck. He’s French and so pretty.” Letting out a wistful sigh, he continued swiping through the app. “So, what works on you?”