SOME NOTES OF A CHARACTER
Do you know? Something that I recently realized, it's about the thing I'm suffering for. Sometimes it goes really bad and I feel like inside i'm going down. But this… I’m gonna write about it another day.
On other topics… something about you makes you so powerful, and it's not only your kindness or your public relationships. You have something shining; something that makes others feel comfortable, something that makes people smile easily, something that could bring all my demons to their knees…
But haha, fuck. Is that what I want? I'm saying no, but I know that deep inside me, I want it so bad.
The idea is just so fucking grate, I wanna steal it from the hands of those girls that are looking at you so in love. But ups, I already had it.
But then, I back to my common feelings and attitude and I just wanna exist with a wall between us. Sometimes, you are stupid, just like everybody, right? But it looks so pretty in you. An example is: you remembering your class half an hour late, and panicking.
Yeah, we were good friends in that old time, like two years ago, but then I haved to go on a long family business trip and we don't see each other for a long long time.
When I come back; to these school and to these city, we both had changed a lot, and our vibes wasn't so compatible anymore. We stopped there. Then, some months after we started talking again; we had to do a cueca dance, we were in the same group, and we became friends again. Twice match.
Buuuttt you started not wanting to be with me. What?Why? Maybe everybody is thinking. And yeah…… because of the homophobia of your close people and your own believes.
Is that so important? Well, for someone who don't wanna lose their family or their home and be safe, yes.
And I understand it, you know? With a really bored expression on my face, I do. I was afraid and convinced of a lot of not so great things before. So I wanna say: then can you please stop looking at me with those hearts in your eyes when I'm not looking at you? And can u please stop of being super respectful, kind and attentive to me, like in so many times on a single day?
I'm not asking for a fight or rude traits, the thing is that... I melt a little bit more for u in those moments.
Also bro, before u used to call me with insults and bad nicknames. Hahahaha, are you really calling me “classmate”, for my surname and “sir”??! I'm not that 🌸fucking🌸 old, Alvarado.
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