Not Bruce Wayne

Roleplaying Blog | Bi-Bats | Not a Minor

[thejokersuggestions-deactivated]

No one tell Batman, but I rigged the Batmobile so that the next time he opens the door, he gets silly string sprayed all over him >:3c 

[dark-knight-suggestions]

*covered with silly string* I already knew it was you.

[dark-knight-suggestions]

Brucie!! I've got news!! Alfred's pregnant!! He's pretty scared, so maybe you should talk to him?

How did that even happen?

[dark-knight-suggestions]

You... you don't have to worry about me having Eddie's baby anymore. I miscarried.

Wait… What? You say that like I wanted it to happen. I was warming up to rasing the baby with you. You know that.

[thejokersuggestions-deactivated]

I know… I just… *sighs* I know you didn’t want me to go through with it. So maybe… maybe this was for the best.

[dark-knight-suggestions]

I never said you shouldn’t have gone through with it. Did I like that it happened?... No... But that doesn’t mean I think this was best. I’m not going to celebrate this or anything. I’m just as upset as you.

[dark-knight-suggestions]

You... you don't have to worry about me having Eddie's baby anymore. I miscarried.

Wait... What? You say that like I wanted it to happen. I was warming up to rasing the baby with you. You know that.

[dark-knight-suggestions]

Do you know about Hush? Thomas Elliot? He's been hanging around recently, and just started talking to Alfred. I'm worried he might be trying something, especially given he's been in contact with Scarecrow.

No. Have not heard about him. If he does try anything I will know. I’m going to keep a closer eye on Alfred. Especially since he’s in the hospital.

[deactivated-blog]

@dark-knight-suggestions

I’m… going to need some time off, sir. My apologies… 

[dark-knight-suggestions]

You are welcome to have it, but I’d like to know why.

[deactivated-blog]

I may have gotten injured enough to be hospitalized.

I’m out now though! Just need to rest. A bit. 

[dark-knight-suggestions]

What have you been out doing, Alfred? How did you get injured?

[deactivated-blog]

Er. 

Well, first I got mugged, and I was thrown by Bentley (though that was sort of my own fault- I provoked him so he wouldn’t go after the others) and also another thing that I don’t- oh yes! I was kidnapped. By a ghost. Technically that was the first thing.

[dark-knight-suggestions]

I need to keep a better eye out on you.

[deactivated-blog]

@dark-knight-suggestions

I’m… going to need some time off, sir. My apologies… 

[dark-knight-suggestions]

You are welcome to have it, but I’d like to know why.

[deactivated-blog]

I may have gotten injured enough to be hospitalized.

I’m out now though! Just need to rest. A bit. 

[dark-knight-suggestions]

What have you been out doing, Alfred? How did you get injured?

[deactivated-blog]

@dark-knight-suggestions

I’m… going to need some time off, sir. My apologies… 

[dark-knight-suggestions]

You are welcome to have it, but I’d like to know why.

[bowditch]

the real power move is just evading the cops by falling backwards off a building

[nightween]

[thenewmemetitans]

can I please have context for this

[nightween]

context:

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

[seachord]

[thepoisonking]

In Conclusion: Batman is a bisexual disaster.

@mrgoldsdearie

[fromsuperheroes]

Texts From Superheroes: Job Offer

[dark-knight-suggestions]

Nightwing: Hey Daddy~ *wink*

*caught off guard*

Wait... What?... You haven’t called me that in a while.

[endiness]

“I’ve realized if we can’t be friends, then we can be connected in other ways.” “How?”

[its-2am-bois]

@kit-kat-82903 im sorry that this is a shitpost its 5 AM and this is what my brain made

[thejokersuggestions-deactivated]

Dump your boyfriend he kissed Nightwing

@dark-knight-suggestions, please tell me it was like a familial kiss and not like… making out…

[dark-knight-suggestions]

A father can’t kiss his son?

[dark-knight-suggestions]

Batman is it REALLY true about your nine-pack? Also, not to be a pervert but can I take your shirt off and touch it, or is that not allowed?

Yes, it’s true. It’s not a myth.

*Takes off shirt*

Touching the pack is always permitted.

[thejokersuggestions-deactivated]

*frowns* Hey, now… You’re letting just anyone touch the pack now? I thought it was a privilege!

[dark-knight-suggestions]

Don’t get jealous. You know they belong to you

[thejokersuggestions-deactivated]

*caresses the pack possessively* Mine.

[thepoisonking]

“…Well, I mean, not to poke the hornet’s nest Jay-Bird, but like; I bet you’ve got secret abs or something, you can’t just go toe-to-toe with Batman and LOSE /all/ the time right?” King’s lips curl into a smug-smirk. Surely someone should question his own sanity? “But perhaps I’m being rude your royal highness-” He bows low “-You /are/ the funniest man in Gotham, after all.” 

[thejokersuggestions-deactivated]

*frowns, shaking his head* No secret abs. And I’m not a bad guy anymore. We don’t fight anymore. Besides, I’m pregnant, so I wouldn’t want to fight right now anyway.

[dark-knight-suggestions]

Pregnant... I’m still trying to move on from the baby not being mine. I’m sorry, Jay, if having another man touch my abs upset you.